RhondaLea

That was actually one of the choices I've been contemplating...just seeing where I end up.

I don't know what to do with myself. I took today off, and I'm all rested, and I have the weekend plus a day ahead of me. I have no idea what to do. I could just work on Monday, but between now and the time my job ends, I probably won't have any more long weekends, so I really ought to do something. And no, I'm not quite ready to get recurrent. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

As well as a few others........I would wager Actually, they're well aware they're driving me insane, but they don't realize it's because they're illogical and disorganized. They think it's because I disagree with them. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

For the record, I don't withhold sex Krisanne, there was never any doubt in my mind.

"He's probably too cool to use the internet" "No, he used to post on rec.skydiving" Oh never mind. Don't say that. I finally got it. Unfortunately not. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

No one has the right to be impaired on an employer's time.

I'm thinking of a six letter word that starts with "use". I said rec.skydiving...isn't that usenet? I'm so confused, Dave. That other thread has me in a dither. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

Apparently so. I must be having a dumb day. If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

Unfortunately, the kit and the lead time he had did the job, and the bastard escaped unscathed. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

I don't think RL has an attitude toward men in general, but she definitely has an attitude toward the ones who mistreat the women in their lives. I also have a real intolerance towards those who are apparently incapable of taking the time to formulate an argument, but who insist on arguing anyway. The "scattershot, free association, whatever comes to mind" mode of argument drives me insane. Juanesky is well aware of this. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

Me, because this is something we don't talk about, and when we do talk about it, it's a joke. It's almost as if (some) men and (some) women don't want to have any empathy for the person they love most in the world. Those of us who come up from really screwy families of origin have a serious disadvantage when it comes to picking the right partner, because we look at mean and abusive behavior and our gut says "okay, that's normal." It's not, but it's what we know. I don't care about the petty annoyances of day-to-day life, and I think that getting all wound up about toilet paper, toothpaste and toilet seats is pretty stupid. I think that in the absence of emotional abuse, a little tolerance goes a long way. But what seems to happen is that people get the petty annoyances and the normal differences between men and women confused with what is actually abusive behavior, and then one or the other of us looks really stupid when we complain about the latter, because it's all lumped in there together. Withholding sex is not okay. Attributing a legitimate complaint to "the rag" is not okay. The cold shoulder is not okay. "Psycho" is not okay. Telling a partner what they can and cannot do is not okay. I've got a long list, but it comes down to this: anything that demeans and diminishes the person you are supposed to love is just not okay. I don't see toilet paper fitting in there anywhere. I guess this is supposed to be a funny thread, but it's not very funny to me. I pissed off a man not all that long ago. We were friends (I thought), and then sex got into the mix. "Friends with benefits." At my age and with my attitude, it was just the right thing. Except that with the introduction of sex, "friends" seemed to go out the window, and I became "a girlfriend with no privileges," subject to all the stereotypical disadvantages of a girlfriend with a bad boyfriend. He took the position that my protest against this made me a liar--I said "no strings" and no strings it should be. I said, "If this is how you treat all your friends, I'm surprised you have any." Should I attribute this sort of behavior to all guys, and let a bad experience color my actions from here on in? Or should I take it to mean that I misunderstood the person I was dealing with, and continue to believe that most men are basically decent and worth taking the time with? This thread (and the other one like it) makes me wonder. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

Like what? "Did you spend the rent money on oxycontin?" Only when you do the same exact thing over again...and again...and again. "I need time to think about whether this bothers me enough to piss you off by telling you about it. I don't really know if I have a five-hour fight in me." I can't speak for anyone but me. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

I don't like salami. And you will never find cheese in my privates. I make good sandwiches, but like most people, I use some kind of bread or other to hold the filling together. You're in trouble, Billy , and the only reason you're off the hook for this is because I carried that number around all week, and I forgot to make the call anyway. But that's the only reason. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

Don't help him. Make him work. Keep him busy. Maybe it'll keep him out of more trouble. You're going to catch a lot of people in that "violent offenders" net, y'know. And some of them, at least, are never going to hurt anyone again once they get out of jail. So what kind of violent offenders are we talking about? rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

Your experience with pot is good. Not everyone has the same experience. I can't smoke it because it makes me damn near catatonic. I know lots of people who think that they're "normal" or "more creative" or when they're high. I'm here to tell you that what you think of yourself when you're stoned and what others think of you may be very different. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

And where do we get these statistics in a society where these drugs are illegal?

I would decriminalize all "victimless" crimes, so yes. I believe that an individual has the unlimited right to control his own body. If you want to kill yourself, go for it. What I would punish is crime against others. Relentlessly. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

Seconded.

Condoms aren't plastic. There were no coffee grounds. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

You're right. I missed this the second time around when I reread it to respond to your last post. I was looking at the links instead. That does not change the fact that our hapless traveler was NOT carrying lime peel, orange peel, gasoline, kerosene or coffee grounds in her luggage with her flour and condoms. There were no bits and pieces. There was no kerosene. She had flour in condoms. No drugs. Imagining these things will not make them appear. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

Wait. How can you object to drug testing (invasion of privacy) and advocate registration for violent offenders (invasion of privacy)? Someone who is released from jail has paid his penalty. Forcing him to register so that his neighbors are aware of his offense is an invasion of his privacy. Violent offenders are not quite the same as sex offenders. They may continue to be violent, but I've never heard that violence is the same deep-rooted compulsion as sexual predation. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

How do they know you're not going to do it on their time? And I'll tell you something, depending on the drug, someone coming down may be less competent than someone who is high. This is a very thorny issue. Given the choice, I would decriminalize all drug use, but I would also impose much stricter penalties on those who do inappropriate things under the influence, e.g., driving, performing tasks for an employer. I don't really care what you did last night, but if you get high on the way to work, you should lose your license and your job. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

Apparently the laws are different in Canada than in the US: http://www.canadaone.com/ezine/expert/expert146.html It really doesn't matter what we do here in the good old USA if the Goose wants to know what's going to happen to him across the northern border. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

It's not that they hate them. In the absence of a personality disorder, it's that they're afraid of them, so they want to control them. Big difference in motivation, but the result is the same--a lot of pain for everyone. The usual miscommunications between men and women are different. Billy mentioned trying to help a woman through her anger...bad idea. It's almost a truism--men want to fix things (that's where the control issue arises, because men hate to be out-of-control) and women want to be heard. What you guys don't realize is that women are at least as competent as men at solving their own problems. The difference between us is that we need to talk about them--in detail--first, whereas you guys just want to slap a bandaid on whatever is wrong and keep going. It causes a lot of conflict between us, and it is a difference that has given rise to the publication of several books, and yet men still don't get it. On the other side, when men have problems, they tend to withdraw and not talk at all. For most woman, this is incomprehensible, so we try to help you by doing what we need done for us. (Again, this is published, and most educated women know it, but it's incomprehensible to them.) In the absence of abuse, people do for others what they would want done for themselves. We can't help it. Unless something pathological is going on, projection is empathy. And most people aren't pathological, so whatever it is they're offering in the way of assistance is the kind of help they would ask for in a similar situation. If men and women paid more attention to that, they'd fight a lot less. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

Nope. Google rec.skydiving. He used to post there. And he also has 18 posts here. The fact of the matter is that Greg is such a great guy, that instead of having icicles forming within 10 feet of where he passes, you feel a tropical breeze instead. He's one of the nicest guys in the world. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb