davjohns

The war broke out on the 5th of May They told us to do it the Army way And if we do, remember please A Soldier needs no sympathy So hello, hello infantry Queen of battle follow me A Soldier's life is the life for me So hello, hello infantry I know it just wouldnt be right to kill all the stupid people that we meet.. But do you think it would be appropriate to just remove all of the warning labels and let nature take its course.

Well, if you are busy, then just go find another woman you hate, and give her half your stuff.. Exactly. Except I don't hate anyone. I pity this one. I know it just wouldnt be right to kill all the stupid people that we meet.. But do you think it would be appropriate to just remove all of the warning labels and let nature take its course.

Hokey Dokey - but I'm thinking the Homeowner's Association is going to have something to say about this. At least I have a privacy fence. I know it just wouldnt be right to kill all the stupid people that we meet.. But do you think it would be appropriate to just remove all of the warning labels and let nature take its course.

Too bad. I said I don't drink. I didn't say I didn't find it wildly entertaining to watch others do so. No offense mate, but I think this legislation made your country just a bit more stuffy. I know it just wouldnt be right to kill all the stupid people that we meet.. But do you think it would be appropriate to just remove all of the warning labels and let nature take its course.

Y'all are killing me. I changed my picture so you guys can get on with your lives.

My digital altimeter went out during freefall yesterday. My audible worked fine. There was no safety issue. But my landing was not as accurate as I like because I gave myself a larger margin for error given the lack of an altimeter. I am considering wearing two altimeters on one hand. They are small enough that it shouldn't be an annoyance. I'll use two digitals since the analogs don't register wtih my brain as quickly. Does anyone else do this? I know it just wouldnt be right to kill all the stupid people that we meet.. But do you think it would be appropriate to just remove all of the warning labels and let nature take its course.

AP story- CANCUN, Mexico — Police in Cancun found 12 decomposing bodies in four caverns and were searching for more cadavers in violence blamed on drug gangs in the popular resort city, officials said Friday. Earlier this month, police discovered six other bodies, three of them cut open and their hearts removed, in a similar cavern near the Mexican resort. Three of the bodies had the letter "Z" carved on their abdomens — a possible reference to the Zeta drug gang. This kind of stuff never happens around my DZ that I am aware of. I know it just wouldnt be right to kill all the stupid people that we meet.. But do you think it would be appropriate to just remove all of the warning labels and let nature take its course.

Sooooo.... We are OK with you drinking. We just don't want you to have fun while you are doing it? I don't drink. But that's messed up. I know it just wouldnt be right to kill all the stupid people that we meet.. But do you think it would be appropriate to just remove all of the warning labels and let nature take its course.

Yes. It's me. I know it just wouldnt be right to kill all the stupid people that we meet.. But do you think it would be appropriate to just remove all of the warning labels and let nature take its course.

/1/0 Weather sucked Saturday. Sunday morning with the parents. Ran to the DZ to get the last lift and my first 3 way. It rocked! I know it just wouldnt be right to kill all the stupid people that we meet.. But do you think it would be appropriate to just remove all of the warning labels and let nature take its course.

BookmarkPrint Albino Blacksheep » Text Files » Bloodninja Bloodninja by bloodninja bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight? BritneySpears14: Aight. bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah. BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja. bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat. BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up. bloodninja: Me too baby. BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest. bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman. BritneySpears14: Hey... bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite. BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it. bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness. BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous. bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands. bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid. BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of ****. bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal. bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him. bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now. bloodninja: Baby? ------------------- bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you. j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u. bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure. j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go. j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck. bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory. j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on. j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt. bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts. j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game. bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass. j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious. bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass. bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet. j_gurli3: thats it. bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn. bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now. -------------- BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready? eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready. BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee. eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies. BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you. BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique. eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat. BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again. eminemBNJA: Oh **** BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f*ck up. eminemBNJA: Oh **** eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something I know it just wouldnt be right to kill all the stupid people that we meet.. But do you think it would be appropriate to just remove all of the warning labels and let nature take its course.

Stress Management Just in case you are having a rough day (week, year, and life), here is a stress management technique recommended in all the latest psychological journals. The funny thing is that it really does work and will make you smile. 1. Picture yourself lying on your tummy on a warm rock that hangs out over a crystal clear stream. 2. Picture yourself with both your hands dangling in the cool running water. 3. Birds are sweetly singing in the cool mountain air. 4. No one knows your secret place. 5. You are in total seclusion from that hectic place called the world. 6. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity. 7. The water is so crystal clear that you can easily make out the face of the person you are holding underwater. I know it just wouldnt be right to kill all the stupid people that we meet.. But do you think it would be appropriate to just remove all of the warning labels and let nature take its course.

WHY WOMEN SHOULDN'T TAKE MEN SHOPPING After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target. Dear Mrs. Samuel, Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samuel, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras. 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking. 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom. 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money. 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway. 6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged. 8. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out. 9.. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose. 10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were. 11. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!' I know it just wouldnt be right to kill all the stupid people that we meet.. But do you think it would be appropriate to just remove all of the warning labels and let nature take its course.

Womens Speak... "Yes" = No "No" = Yes "Maybe" = No "i'm sorry" = You'll be sorry "We need" = I want "It's your decision" = The correct decision should be obvious by now " Sure... go ahead" = I don't want you to "I'm not upset" = Of course I'm upset you moron! "We need to talk" = I need to complain "You're certainly attentive tonight" = Is sex all you ever think about? "Be romantic, turn out the lights' = I have flabby thighs "This kitchen is so inconvenient" = I want a new house " I want new curtains" = and carpeting and furniture and wallpaper "Do you love me?" = I'm going to ask for something expensive "I'll be ready in a minute" = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV "Is my butt fat?" = lie to me "You have to learn to communicate" = To late, you're dead "Do what you want" = You'll pay for this later. Guys' version. Compare to the above. "Yes" = Yes. "No" = No. Definitely not. "Maybe" = I don't want to say 'cause it'll start a fight.. "i'm sorry" = Honey, I really screwed up. I love you. Please forgive me. "We need" = I want. "It's your decision" = There's no way I can win this one. " Sure... go ahead" = I give up. "I'm not upset" = Of course I'm upset. Look what you did! "We need to talk" = (Men don't say this; there is no comparable response.) "You're certainly attentive tonight" =You have flabby thighs "Be romantic, turn out the lights' = You have flabby thighs "This kitchen is so inconvenient" = The refrigerator doesn't hold enough beer. " I want new curtains" = There's glare on the big screen. "Do you love me?" = I want to buy an expensive toy. "I'll be ready in a minute" = Why are we still here? "Is my butt fat?" = (Men don't say this; there is no comparable response.) "You have to learn to communicate" = (Men don't say this; there is no comparable response.) "Do what you want" = I'm busy. Is there something I can help you with that won't take all weekend because there are things I need to do that don't include the yard, the garage, the crappy plumbing in this house and your family. But I love you and will do whatever you want. I know it just wouldnt be right to kill all the stupid people that we meet.. But do you think it would be appropriate to just remove all of the warning labels and let nature take its course.

We drove down the highway on a gorgeous winter day, thunderheads scattered across the blue sky, my wife beside me, our five-year-old son in the back seat. “Daddy, what are clouds?” he asked. “Condensed water vapor,” I said. “Huh?” “Condensed water vapor. Matter has three states: solid, liquid, and gas. There’s also a fourth state called plasma, but I don’t really understand it. Water vapor is a gas. It condenses into liquid at the dew point.” “Drool pint?” “Dew point.” “Drool pint?” “Close enough,” I said, excited he’d finally shown an interest in science after my relentless prodding. “You also need to know about the lapse rate: air gets colder as you gain altitude. At least until you reach the stratosphere, where ozone absorbs sunlight and warms the air, creating an inversion layer. That’s why those thunderheads have an anvil shape. So if you graphed temperature versus altitude,” I drew a little zigzag in the air, “the lapse rate would look like this. Get it?” He stared at me blankly. I felt flummoxed, needed to dumb it down. “Okay, just remember two words: evaporation and condensation. That’s all you need to know. Along with dew point. And lapse rate.” He looked out the window for a moment, eyeing the thunderheads. Then he turned back to me. “Daddy, what are clouds?” I rubbed my neck in frustration. My wife glanced back. “Tiny drops of water, honey, floating in the sky.” He nodded. “Oh, okay. I get it.” “Thanks,” I muttered in relief. “My pleasure,” she whispered. “Temperature graphs are sexy.” “Really?” She smirked and patted my hand. “Sure, babe, sure.” I know it just wouldnt be right to kill all the stupid people that we meet.. But do you think it would be appropriate to just remove all of the warning labels and let nature take its course.

Pierre, a brave French fighter pilot, takes his girlfriend, Marie, out for pleasant little picnic by the River Seine. It's a beautiful day and love is in the air. Marie leans over to Pierre and says,"Pierre, kiss me!" Pierre grabs a bottle of Merlot and splashes it on Marie's lips. What are you doing, Pierre?" says the startled Marie. "I am Pierre, the fighter pilot! When I have red meat, I have red wine!" She smiles and they start kissing. Things began to heat up a little and Marie says, "Pierre, kiss me lower." Our hero tears her blouse open, grabs a bottle of Chardonnay and pours it on her breasts. "Pierre! What are you doing now?" asks the bewildered Marie. "I am Pierre, the fighter pilot! When I have white meat, I have white wine!" She giggles and they resume their passionate interlude, and things really steam up. Marie leans close to his ear and whispers, "Pierre, kiss me much lower!" Pierre rips off her underwear, grabs a bottle of Cognac and pours it in her lap. He then strikes a match and lights the cognac on fire. Marie shrieks and dives into the River Seine. Standing waist deep, Marie throws her arms into the air and screams furiously, "PIERRE, WHAT IN THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?" Our 'hero' stands and says definitely, "I am Pierre, the fighter pilot! If I go down,I go down in flames!" I know it just wouldnt be right to kill all the stupid people that we meet.. But do you think it would be appropriate to just remove all of the warning labels and let nature take its course.

This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries regarding a pond on his property. It was sent by the Pennsylvania Department of Environmental Quality, State of Pennsylvania . This guy's response is hilarious, but read The State's letter before you get to the response letter. State of Pennsylvania 's letter to Mr. DeVries: SUBJECT: DEQ File No.97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec 20; Lycoming County Dear Mr. DeVries: It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or contractor who did the following unauthorized activity: Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring Pond. A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity. A review of the Department's files shows that no permits have been issued Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Pennsylvania Compiled Laws, annotated. The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams partially failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at downstream locations. We find that dams of this nature are inherently hazardous and cannot be permitted. The Department therefore orders you to cease and desist all activities at this location, and to restore the stream to a free-flow condition by removing all wood and brush forming the dams from the stream channel. All restoration work shall be completed no later than January 31, 2010. Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed so that a follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff. Failure to comply with this request or any further unauthorized activity on the site may result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement action.. We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this matter. Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any questions. Sincerely, David L. Price District Representative and Water Management Division. Here is the actual response sent back by Mr. DeVries: Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Lycoming County Dear Mr.Price, Your certified letter dated 12/17/09 has been handed to me to respond to. I am the legal landowner but not the Contractor at 2088 Dagget Lane , Trout Run, Pennsylvania . A couple of beavers are in the (State unauthorized) process of constructing and maintaining two wood 'debris' dams across the outlet stream of my Spring Pond. While I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise their dam project, I think they would be highly offended that you call their skillful use of natures building materials 'debris.' I would like to challenge your department to attempt to emulate their dam project any time and/or any place you choose. I believe I can safely state there is no way you could ever match their dam skills, their dam resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam determination and/or their dam work ethic. As to your request, I do not think the beavers are aware that they must first fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type of dam activity. My first dam question to you is: (1) Are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond Beavers, or (2) do you require all beavers throughout this State to conform to said dam request? If you are not discriminating against these particular beavers, through the Freedom of Information Act, I request completed copies of all those other applicable beaver dam permits that have been issued. (Perhaps we will see if there really is a dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Pennsylvania Compiled Laws, annotated.) I have several dam concerns. My first dam concern is, aren't the beavers entitled to legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are financially destitute and are unable to pay for said representation -- so the State will have to provide them with a dam lawyer. The Department's dam concern that either one or both of the dams failed during a recent rain event, causing flooding, is proof that this is a natural occurrence, which the Department is required to protect. In other words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers alone rather than harassing them and calling them dam names. If you want the dammed stream 'restored' to a dam free-flow condition please contact the beavers -- but if you are going to arrest them, they obviously did not pay any attention to your dam letter, they being unable to read English. In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build their unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green and water flows downstream. They have more dam rights than I do to live and enjoy Spring Pond. If the Department of Natural Resources and Environmental Protection lives up to its name, it should protect the natural resources (Beavers) and the environment (Beavers' Dams). So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned, this dam case can be referred for more elevated enforcement action right now. Why wait until 1/31/2010? The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice by then and there will be no way for you or your dam staff to contact/harass them. In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention to a real environmental quality, health, problem in the area It is the bears! Bears are actually defecating in our woods. I definitely believe you should be persecuting the defecating bears and leave the beavers alone. If you are going to investigate the beaver dam, watch your dam step! The bears are not careful where they dump! Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to contact you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this response to your dam office. THANK YOU, RYAN DEVRIES & THE DAM BEAVERS I know it just wouldnt be right to kill all the stupid people that we meet.. But do you think it would be appropriate to just remove all of the warning labels and let nature take its course.

Best advice - Don't go. Mexico is a mess right now. Good place for people to get killed. I get daily reports. I know it just wouldnt be right to kill all the stupid people that we meet.. But do you think it would be appropriate to just remove all of the warning labels and let nature take its course.

According to the U.S. Census Bureau: 190,374 people are having sex right now, 212,130 are kissing, and 1 poor soul is reading this. You hang in there sunshine!!! I know it just wouldnt be right to kill all the stupid people that we meet.. But do you think it would be appropriate to just remove all of the warning labels and let nature take its course.

The doctor said, 'Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles.' Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life. He saw a men's clothing store and thought, 'That's what I need... A new suit.' He entered the shop and told the salesman, 'I'd like a new suit.' The elderly tailor eye d him briefly and said, 'Let's see... size 44 long.' Joe laughed, 'That's right, how did you know?' 'Been in the business 60 years!' the tailor said. Joe tried on the suit it fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, 'How about a new shirt?' Joe thought for a moment and then said, 'Sure.' The salesman eyed Joe and said, 'Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck.' Joe was surprised, 'That's right, how did you know?' 'Been in the business 60 years.' Joe tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly. Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, 'How about some new underwear?' Joe thought for a moment and said, 'Sure.' The salesman said, 'Let's see... size 36. Joe laughed, 'Ah ha! I got you! I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old.' The salesman shook his head, 'You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache. I know it just wouldnt be right to kill all the stupid people that we meet.. But do you think it would be appropriate to just remove all of the warning labels and let nature take its course.

Yep. Pretty much what I tell my wife. Can't get her to orgasm, huh? Nice quip. And she complains she can't get enough orgasms. Dammit woman, I just got my balls snipped. It takes time to get sterile. After that happens, she'll be a happy wife. Did you have dental work as well? I know it just wouldnt be right to kill all the stupid people that we meet.. But do you think it would be appropriate to just remove all of the warning labels and let nature take its course.

Around here that's called warming up dinner.

"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to." I know it just wouldnt be right to kill all the stupid people that we meet.. But do you think it would be appropriate to just remove all of the warning labels and let nature take its course.

Yep. Pretty much what I tell my wife. Can't get her to orgasm, huh? I know it just wouldnt be right to kill all the stupid people that we meet.. But do you think it would be appropriate to just remove all of the warning labels and let nature take its course.

I have excluded myself from this forum for a while because of childishness, rudeness and unreasonable attempts at argument. However, I have elected to drop back in on this issue. If you have not had to sentence someone to punishment, it is hard to understand. If you have never taken a life, you can not understand. If you have never wrestled with your own conscience to determine what is right in this situation, you have the luxury of platitudes and strongly held opinions. (I mean to chastize both sides with this comment) This case, if reported correctly, is a poor argument against the death penalty. There are plenty of excellent arguments against the death penalty. This is clearly not one. Even so, I would be amazed if the officers who performed this execution were not changed by it. It is a heavy burden, even when absolutely necessary and just, to take a life. It should always be a heavy burden to punish another. If I ever reach the point where it does not pain me to punish, I will have ceased to be human. Clearly, this person was dangerous to society and had to be removed. However, there is no joy in that. It should pain all of us that this became necessary. We should look for ways to prevent it in the future. The blank was just a tradition and the traditional reason was given. Each person on that squad assumed moral responsibility for doing what had to be done. The method of execution was chosen by the convict and was more humane than what he offered his victims. It was the best we can do. Sad, but true. And to bring the NRA into the argument is silly. The NRA generally protects the right of the individual to protect themselves. This can never be a bad thing. All tools can be abused. This convict abused one and that is why he paid this price. To disarm everyone and leave more people open to becoming victims is ludicrous. I would love to live in a world where firearms were not necessary. I would love to live in a world where the death penalty was not necessary. I would love to live in a world where there was no hatred, violence or corruption. But I live here in reality. I have to deal with it as it is. Please continue to wish for ideals and argue against things you think are unjust. We need that so we can continually examine what we do and why. But also recognize that you often argue things that you do not understand, because you have not been there. It is not nearly as easy as you would like to think. I know it just wouldnt be right to kill all the stupid people that we meet.. But do you think it would be appropriate to just remove all of the warning labels and let nature take its course.