Thanatos340

My favorite African-American Canopy Coach.

Beautiful eyes and most likely wont ever text me again. (I am getting better with the texting thing now and have even sent a few without the wonderful picture lately)

Short, Sick, Twisted, Perverted and easily in the top 5 of my MUST meet someday list on DZ.com.

Owns more thongs than any one man ever should.

Screw that. I would never be part of any club or group that had standards so low they would allow ME in. Not anymore. I got old and all my Porn disapeared.

So how many Jumps per month or year should we do to be considered a "True Jumper" and/or "Real SKYDIVER"?

Start reading here. It explains alot. As for "Your own Threads", No such thing. You can start a thread but that in no way gives you any ownership or special rights in that thread just because you started it. And No, I dont think it is a record. I have seen things a lot worse however Sangiro shut down Bonfire completely for a while when it got too bad. Now that we have new coorporate owners, many here suspect that things will become even more moderated and some dont see that as such a bad thing. I dont always agree with the mods, but in general they do a pretty good job of keeping things from getting too out of hand on here. If you want to see what happens with out Mods, Check out rec.skydiving.

Turtle.. My soft-shelled boogie missing quadraped friend.. This mess has almost reached Redheaded Stripper from Alabama level of complications. (Not quite but, But close) That was just the FIRST car we tried to buy. The second one that we wanted to buy was also amusing. Volkswagon Golf, looked great, Drove great, Great price. Pulled a Carfax on it.. It had been totaled. TWICE!! and had the title washed both times.

What a freeking Mess!! About a month ago, My Ex and I decided my daughters TR6 was not the brightest idea and that we should buy her a safer and more practical car. (This decision was made after a friend of hers was hurt pretty bad after being rear ended at a stop sign by an SUV.) After much searching we found Lancer Rally OZ that met all of our requirements. There was a small problem (so we thought) with AC temp control knob sticking. The dealer agreed to fix that so we bought the car. Now anyone that ever tried to get car insurance for a 16 yo can tell you basically You put both Nuts on a table and hand the insurance company a hammer. They swing VERY hard BTW. Full coverage for $5K car and they wanted $1960 every 6 months for insurance. Just basic liability was only a more reasonable $850 every 6 months. So to avoid having to finance the car (Thus requiring Full coverage insurance) I decided to write a Check out of my Home Equity Line for the car. All is well and good at this point. The car is paid for, the dealer send the car to a nearby shop to get the AC Knob fixed. We can pick it the next day. The next day, They say they will have to order some parts from Mitsubishi to fix the problem. No problem, I wait a couple days. Go to pick up the car, The problem is NOT fixed. The dealer is furious with the local shop (Not affiliated with the dealer) because they charged him $531 for the repair and didn’t fix it. We take the car back to the shop and they promise I can get the next day. This goes on for two more weeks, every day a different story from the Garage about how they have to order more parts but it will be fixed tomorrow. Finally after two weeks, I get fed up with this crap and tell the dealer to just give me my money back which amazingly enough, he does. He writes me a check for the full amount I originally paid. I deposit his check into my account, Wait two days for it clear and then withdraw cash so that I can take my daughter car shopping that weekend. Always easier to negotiate when you have cash in hand. This is where the REAL fun starts.. The next day, I get a call from the Dealer. He says my original Check from my HELOC had bounced and he had contacted the police as he is convinced that somehow I had just scammed him. There is no way my Check could have bounced (So I thought) as it was written off a $50K line of credit that I had and had been using occasionally for years. The dealer tells me he has put a Stop Payment on his check that he had given me. I call my Mortgage Company to see what the hell is going on. It seems my check DID bounce. The Mortgage company had done an online reappraisal of my house and devalued it over $60K because of the supposed mortgage crisis and froze my HELOC.. Of course they never told me about this. Shortly after I find this out, the dealer calls me and says his bank told him his check (the refund on the car) had already cleared and it was to late for the stop payment. I explain to him what happened with the mortgage company and tell him I have $5K cash on me (The money I had withdrawn from my checking account to take my daughter car shopping) and I will bring it him immediately to pick up my bad check. I do this and get receipts, signature and even insist on a picture of me giving him the money. Go by the Police dept to show them that I have picked up the check and get that mess straightened out. (They tell me that with the rash of Fake checks scams going on they are much quicker to seek arrest warrants than they used to be for these big ticket items). Anyway I get myself free and clear there and they close out the complaint. So I finally think this mess is over.. NOT a Chance! I head to Chicago the next week for business trip and to visit SDC for the weekend. I go to pull some cash out of my checking account. Overdrawn. WTF?? I had plenty of money in that account. It seems that the Stop Payment from the dealers check was honored so the bank took $5K out of my checking account to cover it. Now I have other checks bouncing all over town. I also discover that my Mortgage Company shows the original check I wrote for the car as cleared in my HELOC account. So at this point, I am out of $10K, Don’t have a car for my daughter, Had a warrant out for my arrest for fraud and have checks bouncing all over town. (I had not bounced a check in over 20 years before this) I shuffled some cash around to get the immediate problems covered. Chase (my Mortgage Company) says they will get the $5K charge removed from HELOC within the next 7 to 10 working days and the dealer says come by and he will write me a new check so hopefully all this will be fixed soon. Every day for the past 3 1/2 weeks has been nothing short of one giant cluster fuck dealing with all this crap. The moral of this story?? I still havent quite figured out what it is. In the mean time.. Anyone near Atlanta have a safe dependable car that a 16yo would want and will you take a check? Sorry for the long post but I really needed to Vent.

My SKS`s All can use Clips to reload the Magazines. This can be done without removing the magazine from the Rifle. The Bolt Carrier is machined so that when the magazine is empty, It stays open, Drop a Clip in, Push and the Magazine is reloaded. Each Clip Holds 10 Rounds, The Magazine I have on the rifles all take 30 Rounds. You may use 3 Stripper clips to fully reload but that last one is a Royal Bitch to get in. The Chinese Ammo I buy (1440 Rounds per Tin) does NOT come on Clips. The Russian and German Ammo I have bought at other times does come on Clips. And Yes, It is a Semi Auto Rifle, Although with the Hell-Fire mod and someone that knows how to use it (Definitely takes practice).. It pretty damn close to Full Auto.

OHHhhh!! Time to spank the Kitty. Everyone should Spank the Kitty when ever possible! Happy Birthday!!

I didnt want to say this.. But it was the monkey that was complaining. Was worried about people getting them confused and all.

And lets not forget the Beer Commandments as given to us from a great burning weed on some mountain top somewhere: 1. Always buy your beer. 2. thou shalt not bear false witness about buying your beer. 3. Thou shalt buy only green bottles ** 4. Thou shalt not make beer from rice. 5. Thou shalt covet thy neighbors beer 6. Thou shalt hold no drinks above beer. 7. Thou shalt not lead students astray from buying their beer. ** Or other equally high-quality beer in other-colored bottles. Note: Beer Commandments Stolen from a post made by his fluffyness here.

Note from the new Corporate Masters HR Department... Due to the striking resemblance between Trunk Monkey and Andy Copeland.. All further posts referencing Trunk Monkey will have to cease so that he is not made uncomfortable on this site. That is all.

Your Post offends me. I am Calling HR right now. Ladies.. get with the Boobie postin before it is too late. a Couple months from now You will be thinking "Why the hell didnt I post my Boobies back when DZ.Com was still fun". Time is running out. Edit: you still have the opportunity to go down in Skydiving history as the last Skychick to ever post your boobies on DZ.Com.

Cool. I heard they were going to Double the pay for the Mods too. Can I still post in just my underwear on Casual Fridays?

Dude.. I am just trying to score some Boobie Pics. Help a brother out here.. Tell them you have already been for a ride in the Black Helicopters and they wouldnt even let you Jump it.

Look.. I am a skydiver (well OK.. Atleast I pretend to be) It is my responsibility as such to first blow thing waay out of proportion, Complain incessantly out it, make 100`s of posts one here but Actually to something about it?? Like go to another site?? That would almost take effort. In other words.. not a chance.

FUCK!! Too late. The corporate mentality has already sunk in. We are potentially facing a life without boobies in the bonfire.. Someone save us PLEASE. Before they start enforcing a dress code.

Post the Boobies!! Ladies, The last great tribute to non-corporate DZ.COM. Time may be running out. This could be your last chance ever! [Disclaimer] This is yet another poor attempt at Humor and we have no real indication that Boobies will in fact be banned by the coorporate masters. (Anyone want a side bet on the exact date of the last Boobie Post in Bonfire?)

This from the Guy that had the nerve to go get a Suitcase (24 CANS of BUDLIGHT) and try to pass that off as payment for Crossing the beerline and landing in the pond?? Beer Rule #1 - Bottles. Beer Rule #2 - Green Bottles or Equivelent. Hint.. If you want people to celebrate you accomplishemnts and/or screwup with you.. Buy good beer (or atleast Drinkable Beer).

Redheads automatically come with a special "TROUBLE" exemption. Especially one that doesnt bring me sammiches and beer.

I would (and have many times) jump with out a Cypress. But I do not think I would jump with a Cypress in my rig that was not functioning correctly (ie.. Failed Start up). In that case I would take the rig to a rigger, Have the cypress removed and sent in for service and jump till it came back. I would be much more concerned about jumping with a Cypress that was not functioning correctly than I would be just not jumping with one at all.

First Off.. Congratz and thanks for you have done over the years. We do appreciate the place you built for us to come together. Secondly... FUCK!! We went Corporate. There go the Boobies.

Thus the crushlist was abolished completely and forever. Any Hottie that ever got added to the crush list instantly found a great relationship and were taken off the market.