SkymonkeyONE

Don't MAKE me heat your tent!

But you OWE me like in PRISON!

I arrive in PHX with Lisa and Travis (f1freak). I don't leave again from PHX until the 3rd at 3:00pm, so I need a way to get to the airport that day. Hook a monkey up. As for lodging, I am looking to HOOK UP! I don't plan on bringing a tent; only rigs, some clothes, and money. Who volunteers floor space to a monkey in need? Chuck

Fuck it, I can't keep the secret any longer. I will be arriving in PHX at 8:10 pm on the 25th along with Mouth and F1Freak. I stay in Eloy until the 3rd of January. The ticket has been purchased, so please be advised that nig-noggery can now be in FULL effect! Chuck

Today? A tandem. After that, assuming a dropzone is following USPA ISP (as they should be), it really doesn't make a difference if they finish AFF or SL, since by the time they get their A-license they will have exactly the same qualifications. A tandem is what I recommend because it is the best way to get a person out of an airplane at full altitude, with the least amount of stress, to see if they actually even "like" freefall. It is also the most economical. Just my opinion as someone with every relevent instructional rating who also grew up on a dropzone.

"are you calling me on a cellphone? CRANK CALL! CRANK CALL!"

Hey, take this anyway you want it, but I am about to get tired of the bad-mouthing of the military. If you don't choose to commit to this life, then don't. Don't fault those of us who did adapt to it and become what was needed to do the job that is required of us. Anyone here want to talk shit about the fuzzy green hat I wear on my head everyday at work? I don't think so. I also doubt there are many here that would care to jump through all the hoops one has to in order to obtain said headgear. That being said, when I did do all that work (starting with the Q-course in 1984), the job it landed me took me all over the world several times over. I would not trade a minute of it, good or bad, for almost anything else I can think of. As for the different Chapters that the military has in place for dismissing people with different "problems", they are mostly avoidable. Jess is certainly not the first person to get chaptered for being a homosexual. Hell, there are plenty in the military, but most of them have sense enough to keep it private, as do the majority of others who choose to partake of strictly-prohibited relationships (heterosexual officer/NCO relationships for example). If you want to keep your job, you find ways to do it; if not, then you become careless and then bitch when you are forced to pay the consequences with either Article 15, Court Martial, or Chapter proceedings. There are many more examples today of people just "coming out" as a way to get out of their military contracts sooner. I consider that very lame. If you sign the contract, then you ought to be able to follow the rules, or at least cover your ass like I stated before. Hey, I have dated several female officers (and lower enlisted, also prohibited), but managed to keep my personal business away from people or military authorities who might have something to say about it. That's just how grown ups do things. End of rant. Chuck sucking it up for over 20 years now

Dave, that was outstanding.

Glad to hear from you, Nelson! Hell, I thought you were dead or something. Anyway, did you keep the same MOS, or did you reclass? As for jumping in FL (near Herbie), I would carry my ass over to Elberta, AL. Chuck

You people are some thread-jacking MOFOS! Anyone not seen my nappy-headed, hungover ass flying Joan Lunden in our wind tunnel yet? By the way my rank is not "sgt" and I am not an "operations officer". Chuck

Mike, which DPRE are you going to? Isn't Pete the guy down there now? Anyway, as previously stated, I would ask that particular person what he requires on the test. Chuck Blue

All I have to say is that you can do some pretty amazing stuff under a Cobalt, Sigma, or small Icarus tandem main. I am actually able to riser dive a Cobalt tandem (with an experienced jumper up front of course).

Personally, I don't give a rats ass what anyone does for a living. Nothing you drive, nothing hanging on your wall, and nothing in your pocket is going to get you invited on a good skydive. Consider the dropzone another world, where individual skydiving skills (or the desire to obtain them) will get you where you want to be. You carry a badge and I wear a five-piece patch on my back, but I would have no problem interacting with you on a DZ (or any other place for that matter). Chuck

the image that Craig posted looks like an Apache. You lay on an Apache and it has two handles that sort of jut forward like that . They are made of carbon fiber and in Indianapolis, Indiana. They used to advertise it in Parachutist and Skydiving.

No registration fee. Both the CASA and Otter flying. Load organizing by world champions (RW) and Vertical Express (FF). Discounted jump prices (see me when you get here). Not sure about a band; I will ask Thomas. Anyway, I just skated out of work and am on the way to the dropzone for pretty much the duration. I will leave the RV open to stow stuff if you get there and I am not there. See you here if you are coming. If not, have fun wherever else you are. Until then, this is KCB3680 (unit 25) broadcasting at 500 watts walking all over you candy-asses, 10-7 at the DZ and I am BACK OUT! Chuck

You will definitely end up under that dolphin, but it will be a hoot anyway.

Fuck that, grab TWO straws!

That is one of my common terms to describe some of the off the wall stuff I pull off sometimes. NOICE!

I would have to report directly to Florida and personally aid you in your endeavour.

Stylishly landing an elliptical tandem main requires finesse, just like swooping. As stated in a previous post, it's different on almost every jump because of the varying weight you have hanging from the front of you. The low toggle pressure on these new mains also makes it so that you don't require any help from the passenger to get the thing stopped. I generally take the toggles away from the passenger at around 400 or 500 feet and have them grab the grippers of their suit. For landing, I either do the brake stall/let it run mode, or a 90 degree turn to final. Both offer a good swoopy glide while not endangering the pair. Chuck

If your reserve streamers, you ain't cutting that sonofabitch away, so your wingsuit would not help you there. I don't see any way I would have a reserve total, so there is not sense thinking about it in my opinion.

Sounds like nig-noggery will be in effect! "don't MAKE me put the huck-a-buck on you, girl!" -Clayton Fowler, esquire

I had to bump this back up to the top because the time is near! OK, fess up and tell me who is coming........ The only confirmed out of towner I have nailed down is F1Freak (spastic monkey). Pammi and Merrick will also be here. The event starts Friday since it's a four day holiday here. If you don't make one of these parties/boogies, don't let me hear you crying later. We really do have a good time around here. Come and earn a position in the exalted monkey kingdom! Chuck

Have you been talking to Lisa Briggs?

I have to say here that shooting this moron would definitely not "haunt me" for any amount of time. I am all about being able to defend what's mine. When I was growing up, everyone I knew had a gun in the back window of their truck and a pistol in the glovebox. Everyone in the house could shoot and clean the family guns and nobody was stupid enough to even think about breaking into someone else's house. We never locked our doors to our house and we very rarely brought the keys to the vehicles inside. There were far fewer robberies back when people knew they would likely be killed for trying to steal your car or break into your home. Today's litigious society makes me sick. Just my opinion as a fairly callous and world-weary individual. C. Blue, esq.