MF42

I've always heard that allowing your dog to hang his head out the window while you're driving can cause long-term damage to the dog's eyes. Think these might solve that problem and let him get his tongue flapping in the breeze just the way he likes? Cool!

All my life, could never get to sleep any earlier than 2:00 unless seriously worn out. Don't know why. The only solution I ever found is to work second shift; that way I can still get 8 hours in regularly. Matt

I despise cats and I think it's funny! Matt

Recently I was extremely stressed out about life and decided to totally change the pattern, break out of the rut, and do something fun, expensive, and addicting: I started skydiving!

Back when I had a dog, he would always make running and biting motions in his sleep, and toss in the occasional growl. He was so nervous and timid in real life that I always figured he was dreaming about running down some kind of prey and whoopin' ass like the baddest bad-ass around. Matt

So i read the whole thred and can't believe nobody yet brought up the inetrpretationof the original queation that immediately popped into my head: Yes, frequently, whenever a hot chick walks past I will wait until she's a few steps away, I'll look back at her butt and I'll either think or say "DAMN!"

Well...uhhh... I was planning on a relatively new pair of tighty-whiteys, doesn't even have any holes yet. Think that'll pass muster? Matt

Hmm.. Actually didn't discuss phtos or videos when I signed up. And anyway, I'm one of them "functionally computer illiterate" people. Haven't figured out how to post photos yet. Matt

You mean my instructors will be inspecting my underwear?! Ok, I just checked. I do indeed have a pair of clean underwear. Crisis averted.

So I've done some research, talked to a couple of DZs, gone for an observer ride in the plane, made my appointment and paid my deposit. In the next 24 hours, if everything goes according to plan, I will experience freefall for the first time.

Uhhhh... Twelve. I think. Matt

Spaghetti sauce. No, not that Ragu filth or anything remotely resembling it. This sauce had beef, peppers of various colors and flavors, a variety of onions, and about a dozen secret spices.

I never could figure out why Lucas changed it in the first place. Greedo was pointing a gun at Han and threatening to kill him. How much more justification do you need to shoot!? Matt

This is very cool. Matt Matt

The most annoying thing about clowns is that people always get them confused with jugglers. Jugglers are cool. Clowns suck. Matt Matt

I was DirecTV technical support while going to school. The overriding concern on all phone calls, no matter what problem the customer was having: End the call in less than five minutes. Management didn't care in the slightest if any problems actually got fixed. Irate customer? Let 'im cancel, there's plenty more where he came from. If I could get the customer angry enough to swear at me, then I could legitimately hang up on him and hey presto, got that call done in four minutes. Thou shalt Follow the Script. Thou shalt not deviate from the Script. The Script is never wrong. The Script is always sufficient for any problem. If thou believest thou hast encountered a problem not covered by the Script, then thou shalt place the customer on hold long enough to pretend to be consulting a supervisor, then make up whatever bullshit solution seemest best to thee. Thou Shalt Always Resolve Calls In Less Than Five Minutes. Matt Matt

Sausage topping on a pizza. Worked too long at Dominos. Matt

pocketknives Matt

Spent a summer in an iron foundry. 110 degrees outside, so the temperature inside was at least 130, usually more. Hot, filthy, toxic, dark, noisy, dangerous work. My usual assignment was cleaning the shaker: All the very large iron parts (some up to 25 tons) were cast in sand. When the casting cooled enough to be solid, the bin holding the sand and the casting was moved over the uphill end of the shaker, then the bottom of the bin opened and dumped out the tons of hot sand and cherry-red iron. The shaker was a steel grate, about 50' long by 20' wide, sunken 3' below floor level, built at a slight incline. The grate would constantly vibrate in order to shake excess sand, rebar, and other debris off the castings as the whole mess gradually slid down the incline to where various machines could pick the casting up. My job was to gather up all the red-hot pieces of rebar and other chunks of iron that were too big to fall through the grate. While the whole system was running, I would hop down into the shaker, pick up the trash, chuck it over the side, then hop back out. It was kind of fun riding the "waves" when a fresh casting would hit the shaker. I had gloves similar to high quality oven mitts, and I would usually melt four pairs in an average day. I liked watching the smoke trail that a piece of iron would leave as it arced away from my hand. I went home rusted like the Tin Man everyday. The godawful heat guaranteed a constant coat of sweat, and the wind from all the fans kicked up iron dust that stuck to the sweat. Sweat + iron = rust. Being a stupid 18-year-old at the time, I thought the extreme conditions were something to be kinda proud of. I only really began to wonder about long-term effects one day when I blew my nose and saw black snot on the tissue. It was a good motivator to get back in school. Matt

My first and, so far, only landing was memorable, and not just because it was my first. It was an IAD jump, with a radio for the instructor on the ground to give me directions. I was supposed to listen for instructions to "student #3". The canopy opened, I did the controlability checks, and then did a couple more turns when the radio told me to. For what seemed a long time after that, I heard the ground instructor giving lots of directions to my buddies "student #1" and "student #2" but no directions at all for me. I wasn't really worried about it; I was just loving the view, drifting along, hey look at those clouds! Look at that sunset! Wow!

Nope, not out at all. That's just more material to play with.

Tinker Toys and Lincoln Logs.

Cloudseeker stole mine. Definitely an owl. Solitary. Nocturnal. Observant. Patient. Focused. And they just look so freakin' cool! Did you know owls' feathers are slightly frayed at the tips so they make less noise in flight? Besides, I love flying at night. Matt

Every once in a while I hear rumors about a big budget, Spielberg-directed rendition of Ender's Game, by Orson Scott Card.

Matt was arrested for fondleing and messing with a police officer. Matt was arrested for drywalling his basement without a permit. Matthew was arrested for his politically maladroit actions and sent back to Dublin. Matthew was arrested for ignoring a police officer’s instructions to explain what he was doing. Matthew was arrested for playing his drums too loudly. And best of all:Matthew was arrested for playing the bongos in his house while he was naked.