SkydiveMonkey

'ear me now. Me 'ave found dis book called de Bible wot is 100 years old. It was writted by dis bloke called Jason Christ and his dad. It have no pictures and definitely no muff. Trust me, it is well boring. It come in two halves, da Old Testicle and da New Testicle, wot is happarently religious and people 'ave been fighting for millions of years about which testicle is da best. Anyway, about 2 billion years ago dis bloke called Moses went up a mountain in Spain and dropped two tablets. Dey must have been class A's coz he came down wiv some seriously mental ideaz. Dey was called Da 10 Commandments, an dey iz 13 laws dat has been da basis of society ever since. Even da dinosaurs 'ad to learn them altho very few of dem hactually practisd dem an dat is why dey died of de Aids an also why Jurassic Park appened. Ere is wot dey say (not de dinosaurs hobviously - coz dey spoke in Dog). Also I has remixed dem for da new millenium. Da old Commandments: 1) I am the Lord, which have brought thee out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. 2) Thou shalt have no other gods before me. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image. 3) Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord in vain. 4) Remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy. On the seventh day thou shalt not work. 5) Honour thy Father and thy Mother. 6) Thou shalt not kill. 7) Thou shalt not commit adultery. 8) Thou shalt not steal. 9) Thou shalt not bear false witness. 10) Thou shalt not covert thy neighbour's ass. Da New Commandments: 1) I iz da macdaddy, who iz taken u out of the county of Barkshire, u iz all me hoes, an if u iz up 4 it me is well into bondage. 2) Westside. 3) Do not dis Tupac. 4) Remeber every second Friday in every moth coz dat iz when me hold de jungle all-nita at de Crooked Billet in Iver Heath - 5 squid on da door, first 1000 ladies free. 5) Respec your Nan. 6) Thou shalt not do drive-bys. 7) Thou shalt not commit adultery (unless she iz well fit). 8) Thou shalt not deal. 9) Thou shalt not wear false titties. 10) Thou shalt not cover up thy batty (unless you iz a man or you iz a minger). You shouldn't put a knife in the toaster - but you're an adult now !!!

BEEEEEERRRRR !!! Congrats dude !!! You shouldn't put a knife in the toaster - but you're an adult now !!!

Beer to all !! I've passed te 400 post mark. Watch out Clay !! You shouldn't put a knife in the toaster - but you're an adult now !!!

We could show the world a thing or two about boobies and beer as well !! You shouldn't put a knife in the toaster - but you're an adult now !!!

I'm planning on building a massive brick wall around my DZ about 13000 feet high so no wind / clouds can get in. Anyone want to help? You shouldn't put a knife in the toaster - but you're an adult now !!!

Black marker pen? You shouldn't put a knife in the toaster - but you're an adult now !!!

Damn that's pink !! You shouldn't put a knife in the toaster - but you're an adult now !!!

Boobies? Ayyyyeeeeee !!! You shouldn't put a knife in the toaster - but you're an adult now !!!

Should be "their" as well. You shouldn't put a knife in the toaster - but you're an adult now !!!

Good luck with it. Lets hope you get it so you can buy us all beer !! Don't forget to turn up to the interview with a skydiving t-shirt and a six-pack of beer !! You shouldn't put a knife in the toaster - but you're an adult now !!!

Are we talking parallel universe or something? You shouldn't put a knife in the toaster - but you're an adult now !!!

If your IQ is 189, why do you need help ? You're a genius !!!

One good thing is that you'll be saving money by not jumping, so when you get back you can jump as long as you like !!

218 in a sit ??!!!! If you went into a stand what speed woud you get then ? Nice work man !! You shouldn't put a knife in the toaster - but you're an adult now !!!

"which although difficult" would be better I think. Rest sounds ok to me. You shouldn't put a knife in the toaster - but you're an adult now !!!

That says it all doesn't it ?! You shouldn't put a knife in the toaster - but you're an adult now !!!

From what I understand, a 150 will turn quicker at the same wingload, because it has shorter lines. I assume they will have the same amount of flare, but I could be wrong. You shouldn't put a knife in the toaster - but you're an adult now !!!

Clicking your heels together really does help with that. Don't put your legs back too far though otherwise you'll end up going forwards. Good luck !!! You shouldn't put a knife in the toaster - but you're an adult now !!!

Just thought - get one with a GPS on it, so you can check the spot and point out to the pilot he's wrong !! You shouldn't put a knife in the toaster - but you're an adult now !!!

Where did I spell boobies wrong? chaff is lots of little pieces of aluminium or other metal used as a decoy for radar guided missiles. Besides - I like boobies !!

Booies? You shouldn't put a knife in the toaster - but you're an adult now !!!

Can anyone write something to go on the main page? If we write an article, do we email it to you HH? You shouldn't put a knife in the toaster - but you're an adult now !!!

We could drop a load of WDI's as well to act as decoys !! You shouldn't put a knife in the toaster - but you're an adult now !!!

Fair enough. It still sucks though. You shouldn't put a knife in the toaster - but you're an adult now !!!

1. If you can't get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights. 2. A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt. 3. Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted. 4. It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've done and what you're going to do. 5. After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before. 6. The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get. 7. You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard. 8. Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day. 9. When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves. 10. If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it. 11. There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when the boss asks for a ride home from the office. 12. Keep your boss's boss off your boss's back. 13. Everything can be filed under "miscellaneous." 14. Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour. 15. To err is human, to forgive is not our policy. 16. Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he/she is supposed to be doing. 17. Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail. 18. If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it. 19. You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your desk. 20. People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn't. 21. If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done. 22. At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying. 23. When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried. 24. Following the rules will not get the job done. 25. Getting the job done is no excuse for not following the rules. 26. When confronted by a difficult problem you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger handle this? 27. No matter how much you do, you never do enough. 28. The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong. You shouldn't put a knife in the toaster - but you're an adult now !!!