Michele

Hee hee, where are the pictures, Girlio? Particularly one bozo one I'm watching for... It was great having you around...and I adored jumping with the gang on Saturday. Major fun, major friends, major sky....what could be better than that? Oh, and just how cold is Wisconsin? I sit here in a light blouse and jeans...gonna be a great day!!!! 75-80, lite clouds....yeppers, CA... Hugs, Cora... Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Andy, I don't intend to be mean, but I don't understand why you can't congratulate her on getting through her challenges? If you were perfect, and never made a mistake, why haven't you offered her some hints and suggestions about how to deal with her challenges successfully, instead of questioning her DZ and her instructors? Look, she put up a post which encourages others, which is a great synopsis of what she has had to handle (including a cutaway on level 3...), and it's a great post, and will support those who are having difficulty right now...and it details her struggles. Why lambast her for that? Why not just say "Hey, good deal, congratulations! Everyone who's struggling, keep at it!" You're not running her dz, you're not the one who jumped with her, you're not her instructors, and you don't know what she went through. Luna, you rawk. Good deal, and I am proud of you for all of your hard work and struggles. You are amazing, and I am thrilled to know you've gotten to the "clicky" part. Go Girlio!!! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY Heather! Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Yes...yes he did...I know I'm wordy, but I did say that... And he is a sweetheart, and a dear person, (even if he doesn't want to be known as that). And someday, when I'm far better at controlling fallrate, we have a jump together. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Hi, Teri! Guess what? You're normal! LOL! Let's see... Belly jitters and knocking knees? Yep, still get them. Standing at the plane wondering what the heck I think I'm doing? Why, just Saturday that happened... Um.... See, I want you to be proud of you for doing this. It's your experience, it's your flight, it's your challenge and your success. Yours. no-one else's. You will have some hard times - of course you will. We are learning to fly, Teri, that totally "unnatural" thing. Our minds will protest and fight and scream. Our brains will forget the joy, or call it "not worth it" for the risk. Our hearts, though, our hearts and our souls call us back into the sky...and there we find out that our limits are self imposed, our choice to explore the universe differently than others perfect for ourselves. Up there, I find a freedom which I do not have on the ground....and it's worth the battle each and every time I jump. Make another decision....how about it's you who make the jump? You who make yourself relaxed enough to enjoy yourself. You who allow yourself the incredible opportunity to taste the sky...you....you...you...not the JM...you. I have battled and fought and struggled with the fear and anxiety. I understand...and I know that you are capable of conquering it without question. I am certain that you are fine, you just don't know that yet. I'm here should you need to talk. Ceils- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

What a great choice! The good thing is, you don't have to make any decisions about it now. I won't say "get another one"...and I won't say "don't". I will say that the decision is not ready to be made. You have such a huge heart, Jan...Toby knows how you grieve. You are loved. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Kato, as well, and Chaz1234, too. (Man, it's really weird to think of friends as "colors"...I don't like that too much....they're just, well, friends...not slamming you, Squeak, just commenting...) Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Jan, Toby, in the picture you posted, was smiling. He was saying how much he loved you, protected you, and cared for you. I know you were smiling, too, because you loved him, protected him, and cared for him...even while letting him go, you were caring for him, loving him harder, not allowing him to suffer. It is hard, and it is sad. And I know it will soon be time for me and my BK, and it is with a very heavy heart that I say "I know what you're going through, you are not alone". And when you see the spot of garden he loved best lit with sunshine, know he is there. And when you see the doorway he would always lay across, know he is there. And when, in the darkness of night, you reach for him to pet his head, know he feels it, and is licking your hand back. He may not be here, but he is not gone. He is never farther away then a smile, a ray of sun, a memory held in your heart. Trust that knowledge, and let it guide you now. Many hugs to you, Jan. Ciels- Michele

I did, about 2 weeks ago now. I'll do so again as soon as I am able, which will be about 42 days from now. I even got a friend who'd never done it to give her first pint....she didn't take too well to the beer concept, though. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Hey, gimme a break....I know I had missed someone - and I already apologized. Tell ya what, I'll mention you again! RickyResq Ruffles Shark (but he works there) Gawain Chaz1234 Islandcool (aka "Dimples")CaptnStratton Viking The Best Packer I know, drumroll please GRASSHOPPER[/I]!!! (Sorry, darlin....) Pie, let me know when you're coming out. Granted, I'm no Cora, but I can still goof around! And I love that pic - that wasn't the sunset I was in, but I can imagine it! Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Yeah, what she said.... Great learning experience, glad you're not dead. Shit, Dave. I mean, really. Shit! Geesh! Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Morning, NacMac... agreed that it isn't a problem for me...just something that this particular canopy does. I don't recall it doing it on the rental, but then, I wasn't as aware of the opening of that one, either. Openings are a little, uh, "sterssful" for me...LOL... I think that, at least for me, it's more of a "hmmm, I wonder what that is" rather than "oh shit, what's going on???? Where're the handles...!!", and since I know less than nothing about canopies, it's just another facet to explore and learn about.... Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

I agree... And I have decided that it will not be something I will watch. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

I did have the same kind of openings this weekend...on 3 of the 4 jumps. I was lucky enough to have someone observe the opening from about 1K over me, and per her observation I had no kinks in my body position. I spoke with a guy who's opinion I respect a lot (and who packs for me) about this. His thought was that perhaps it was like it was in a deep stall, with center cells inflated, and end cells not...and, like when I'm in deep brakes and release them, it fills out again and "surges" forward. I have no idea if this is actually right, but it "feels" the same... I tried stalling it to that point on the next jump, and yes, it's the same kind of forward "rush" that I feel on both opening and once releasing the brakes from a stall. Dunno what to make of it, though...or even if I'd put a lot of credence in what I'm saying. I don't have lots of experience... Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

RSG, I can't add a single thing to the discussion... I will add my vote for the spectre...it's what I jump (with all of 58 jumps), it's got a smooth, sweet, gentle opening...I tend to pull higher than "average" because I do "snivel" for a bit, but it's all good.... Heal well, heal fast, heal fully....get a second opinion, from someone who handles "sports injuries", and find out if that's really the case. Sorry to hear you've had an injury... Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

The answer to every question in the universe...duct tape.... just ask McGyver! Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

It wasn't that cold - I only had on jeans and two turtlenecks....and hey, my hugs don't count? What's up with that? Geesh... I feel like announcing to BillV that there are absolutely no worries about downsizing for me at any point in the near future...I can't handle a downwinder just yet! Owie kazowie, I have some interesting bruises and I'm still rather sore... Had you been able to jump with me, you would not have had a funnel...I don't recall one I did, let alone "all"... (of course, that was luck, but still....) But it was a blast....and Meatmissle? You're right - back to basics... And Jack, I am so looking for the sight of Airweenie's expression as I shut the door firmly in her face...or bottom, as in "don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out..."... Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Wasn't it though? Amazing to play with you guys... Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

What a gorgeous name for a little girl... I am sure many people will be happy to help. When you have some, make a post asking for help getting it posted, and I know you'll have lots of assistance! Good deal? Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Ohhhhhh, what's her name? And will you please oh please post some pix when (read: as soon as you can!) you're able? I think that would be most excellent... Hang in, darlin'.... Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Hi, Mrs. Lowpullin! Oh, but now I understand why you're concerned....it's a well known fact that guys can't cook for themselves......that's why there're MRE's (which are gross!)(just kidding you!) Hang in, sweetheart. They will be taken care of. I have utmost faith that they will be replenished in time. War is scary, and this is the worst sort of betrayal, regardless of what happened. Let us know when the baby arrives - you will have a bazillion internet godparents and a great support team for you. let us know what you need... hugs to you! Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

I honestly have no problem taking all safety precautions available to me. This is a dangerous sport...I just try to find the ways within reason to make it safer. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Yes, most definitely a great day! The folks who came out to play with Cora and I (or at least there even if just serendipitously) were: RickyResq Ruffles Shark (but he works there) Gawain Chaz1234 Islandcool (aka "Dimples")CaptnStratton Viking That's all I can recall by name, although I met a few lurkers too...and I am still so tired I can't remember what I owe that other beer for, so may have missed one or two of you...forgive me. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

I just got in after several attempts...long page load, though. Really long. If you need alternate sources of news, here's a good site to source from. http://media.fares.net/ Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Snow and Poppies, Sunset and Spring Cora and I drag ourselves to the DZ early enough to get settled before the first plane leaves, and it will be a most gorgeous day - bright blue skies, a little haze around the edges. The lake is shimmering with sunstreaks, greenblue and calm. The foothills are rolling green, the color of spring, and it is, in fact, spring...I can't wait to get into the air, and I am surprised by this.... After retrieving some hairbands from inside my car, I shut the car door with the immediate knowledge that something is really wrong. Patting my pockets and checking the keyholes in my door, I realize I've locked my keys in the car. Oh, great, the shine is off the day...where the heck is my head? I've never done this before...Grasshopper comes to my rescue with his AAA card, and I try to describe to the dispatcher where I am....we realize that it will be a local dispatch and so most likely they will know the dropzone - we hope. They do, and when they arrive, the man has a devil of a time breaking into my Jetta, which is both concerning and reassuring. Gawain comforts me with the offer to drive me back to Burbank to retrieve another set of keys if we can't get in (which means we won't be jumping if that happens), but right then we have success, and the car alarm goes off and we're in! And I still wonder where my head is... Cora and I decide we are doing a tourist jump. No pressure, more of a spotting thing, higher pull for her, and just getting her wings out into the Elsinore sky. I may not be the best tour guide, I think, but at least I can figure out where we are, and since she has a few more jumps than me, since I don't really do much more than fall, there would be no pressure other than fallrate adjustment. We manifest, gear up, and climb into the plane....it rumbles down the runway, and we look at each other and grin. She is getting nervous, and so'm I...Airweenie is trying hard to make her presence known, but I smack her down, and focus on Cora and getting her oriented. I point out sights from the sky - show her the lake, the foothills robed with spring green, and then I see all this orange massive spreading stuff....and realize the poppies have bloomed. Interspersed with the fields of poppies are magenta flowers, rivers and estuaries, and, as I lift my eyes to the horizon, I see the snow-capped mountains in the distance. I am breathless...the clearness of the air, the softness of springtime, the colors splashed out on the ground by some unknown Artist's hand seizes me and insists I see the beauty of this world, the enormity of it. As the plane circles, I crane my neck to see Catalina Island, and there is a blurring in the distance, a softening of the edges of the hills and I think "I was on that ocean yesterday and here I am in the sky today and how amazing is this and how wonderful" and I look across the cabin and see Cora and grin.....and now back to being a tourguide. Green light, and we are at the door, but it's time to do a go 'round....so I point and show Cora what to look for, spot the huge X, that's where we're going, do ya see it? Cora doesn't at first, and as I've told the pilot we're going to be a while in the door, there is no pressure. We are last out, it's o.k., I just want her to be familiar with the DZ before we leave. She looks out and around, and then nods vigorously...she sees the X. We are fine for a spot, no problems...climb out, me floating and her on my chest strap, and ready set go and we're out and I'm arching and Cora is doing a handstand on my shoulders....she's vertical and I'm stable...and this is funny. We are laughing as we try to level off, but I am trying to stay stable and so am arching hard, and she is being towed around the sky on her head....I finally shake her grips and let go of her, and she does the same for me, and there is immediate and enormous distance...I lose her into the blue, and catch a heading. I start to turn slowly, looking for her, and look up and back, but can't see her anywhere...and so I try centerpoint turns, and watch the horizon spin...poppies snow sea desert...and then look again for her. It's time to deploy, so I wave off vigorously, and reach and throw and now I am under canopy and am turned in time to watch hers open behind and above me, pink and blue and full, and there we are, playing tag in the spring sky. Landing was long, but safe, and hugs all around....Cora is feeling better and more relaxed, I've done my job, and now it's time to go adventuring. Viking is there, so Cora and I plot to get him some student gear so he can jump once with her...we finagle it and whip out plastic, and Viking and Cora get ready to make a jump. I am going to jump with Gawain, and he and I are supposed to do a "headjammer exit circle sidebody sidebody." O.K., I have no idea what that is, but as we walk it through, I begin to understand it. It will be interesting, this is the first "two way" without a "coach", and we are turning points...Gawain wants to be on a competitive 4 way, and I just know I will screw it all up and he will be wasting his time. I will funnel it and he will never want to jump with me again and he will tell everyone how horrible I am and no one will want to jump with me and oh shit....and he keeps telling me "there is no spoon" and I have no idea what he means and so I just nod and feel all wonky inside and like there's this balloon in my belly. We walk it through over and over, and I tell him I'm worried about it, and he looks at me. "You're being stupid, Michele. I have no expectations. You'll be fine and we are all about fun"... Into the plane, airborn, and my legs start twitching and bouncing around. I am sweaty despite the cool spring air, and I am staring out the door, looking for the snow and poppies. I see the rivers and the houses, and start breathing deeply...green light, the folks in front of us leave, and now it's our turn. He climbs out, I get grips, nod, ready set go and I compress the space between us and I am out and free and he's got a surprised look and he's grinning and I am grinning and I love the air and we are leveling off and didn't funnel or even really turn. We get the circle thing, and then release and as I am reaching to regrip I remember that I'm not supposed to reach but lay my legs out so I do and then I can get it and then I let go and we're face to face again and he's still grinning and I am too and we do it again but I have to pull him because I screwed it up but it's o.k. because I get there eventually and we're both still grinning and smiling and now it's time to turn and track and so I do, but I didn't bring my track with me today because it sucks and now it's time to deploy and there it is; bright and full, my canopy blooms over my head and it's playtime...and my landing is onto my knees but it's o.k., I'm not too far from where I said I wanted to land, although I am still struggling for accuracy and stand ups, it's much better and I stand there and look around and think "I just jumped from a plane...I just flew around the sky, and I just had the most amazing fun!!!"...as I get back to the packing area, Gawain shouts "You did great! Excellent exit! Turned 6 points!" and I grin.....yeah, I guess I did! I dance the happy dance...throw my arms around him and kiss his cheek. He blushes, but laughs...this shit is fun, I tell ya!!! I want to rest, to relax, to quiet my mind...but I promised Steve ("CptnStratton") more than a year ago I'd jump with him, he's here to claim that jump, and we are going to do it. I do get a small break, and then start to work on this with him. It's all about proximity this time. Simple. Yeah, but simple for others, not me, I think. But it will be fun....360's, and redocks, and then a back loop...yikes but wha-hhooooooooooooooooooooo! Plane time again, but as we're squooshed into the Twin Otter, there seems to be a problem...too many jumpers and not enough plane. We start a roll call, and finally realize that the tandems are not supposed to be there, and an 8 way waiting is. They decide to not change it now, and the 8way kindly takes the next load. There's this guy who is across from me with "Getting Jiggy" on his mudflap, and, as we take off, he hollars "whew! I was getting sick of being on the ground. I almost barfed in your lap" to me, and everyone laughs. And then someone hollars "who's the Rodriguez Brothers" and the whole entire plane, including me, shouts back "Fuck the Rodriguez brothers"....and suddenly I feel like I am not an interloper, not a stranger, but part of this, welcome and understood and included in this thing we do, this defying gravity, this exploration of limits and challenging preconceptions and living outside the box. I am not alone, I am part. I look at Steve, and grin...I knew the answer to the question, for once. I knew something, and the rest I will surely learn... Green light and I climb out and float, and it's unlinked, and Steve's got the count and he's diving, and read set go and I let go of the plane and grab Steve's grips. Oooopsssssssssss...but we don't funnel, we don't tumble into the stratosphere. We just level off, and we're smiling at each other and I get a circle thing on him, and then let go. He nods, and I try a right 360, slow and not centerpoint, but am able to stop it right on heading. We're far apart, but he drives to me and I try to drive to him, and I am laughing. 360 left, and this is better, faster, and I can feel my leg drop and then the other one drops to stop it and I am startled because I didn't tell my leg to do that it just did it by itself and it was right and I remembered that from the 2-way camp and it worked and here I am back on heading. I am flying mantis, and working fall rate, and now we're back together and I am so surprised that I am doing this my brain gets in the way and I forget what's next and suddenly I am chest high knees low and dropping fast and then I arch and it's o.k again...but wtf was that? And then I flatten out and Steve arches and we're back together and it's time for the back loop....and I bring my knees forward and drop my head back and it's perfect and I open exactly at the right time and slide back into an arch and I haven't gone wonky or wobbled and Steve is exactly where I left him and he gives me a thumbs up and now it's time to turn and track and my track is still missing and now it's deployment time and reach and pull and throw and freeze and there it is, my gift....a whole and open canopy, bright and crisp against the blueness of the day, and I dance, play, celebrate another most fun jump and forget that I'm not supposed to play until I am over the dz and end up kinda far off....and land sliding onto my bottom but who cares and there I sit, amongst the spring, prickerburrs poking my bottom and legs, and I lay back, turn my head and stare into the soul of a tiny purple flower, and quickflash through my mind is the bigness of this world and the smallness of me....and then remember that maybe someone will think I'm hurt if I keep laying here so I scramble to my feet and handle the canopy. Last jump of the day will be a high altitude hop and pop, with 5 other DZ.commers...Sharkie, Gawain, Cora, Steve, and Chaz1234. We decide exit order, separation and delay, and climb into the plane. How amazing will this be - there will only be one other load after us, and the brightness has already left the day. I will be in the sunset with my friends, and this will be like no other jump...I will be first out because I have a spectre, then Cora is next but I lose track of the rest of the order. I am to face the setting sun until everyone is open, and then it's time to fly.... 13,000 and we are at the door. I crouch, look back at my friends, and take a breath....and I am out....count out the delay and reach and throw and open and turn into the sun. I look over my shoulder and see people exiting the plane, and watch the twinkling of metal on harnesses as they catch the rays on exit and see the openings around me and find myself breathless again. I watch the plane circle south, so I face north, and lead a parade of 7 other canopies toward the snowcaps, shimmering golden in the dwindling day, and see the plane backlit against the sun and the mountains below us and the ocean to the west and the darkness to the east and I am at 10,000 feet surrounded by sunset and spring. There is a blurring in the west, the misty spring evening held back by the mountains that I know will soon be claimed by darkness. As I descend through the shadow play, I see silver shimmering mist and reaching out as if to touch to end of the day are the mountains of Catalina Island. In the softening daylight I see the roughness of the mountain peaks melt, and become indistinct...and I am taken away. I want to fly into the setting sun, to be part of that wholeness, that huge glowing gold resting on the edge of day. I want my friends to come with me and chase the day with me, fly out to the edges of the world, touch the gloaming. We are out over the lake now, and I watch tiny little boats creep silently across the glassy green water, white streaks behind, and wonder if they ever look up, ever wonder, are ever in the sunset like I am now...a speck in the sky, majestic melting sun surrounding me and touching me and holding me aloft, lifting us to the heavens, touching the sky. Watching for the plane, I turn us east, and see the plane far below. We go back over the dropzone, and as I descend through the layers of the coming night, I feel the air temperature change. Warming up, hardening almost, more "solid". And as I set up for landing, I realize that while there was wind at about 2000 through 1000, there is none below that. And I can't see very well, and there is no-one to watch landing directions. I think hard, and remember that no-wind default here is from the south to the north, and, knowing Cora is following me I am especially cautious...but totally wrong. I don't realize we are downwind until about 50 feet, far too low to turn, and everything is speeding by under my feet and I am zooming along and there wasn't any wind and now there is and oh shit it will be a downwinder and it's fast and I shove my head up my ass, stop thinking and start flaring at about 35 feet....and of course this will hurt so I get my feet together, knees together, and as I touch down into the soft ground I dig my heels in and try to skid but I am not getting any purchase and finally just tuck my chin down, right hand on my face and roll my right shoulder under me and whackthumpsplat ow shit ow tumbleroll feet-helmet-bottom-feet and back up tangled in lines and laughing. And in the silence of the gloaming, I hear birds singing a lullaby to the day, delicate notes and whistles, and I know those are the sounds of the world. Islandcool is out with a camera, and I dread the blackmail photos that will produce, but I laugh and grin and hug him anyway. Cora has done the same sort of landing, only farther out, and as she comes to us I grab her and hug her and holler my exhilaration. She knows, I can see it in her eyes, she saw what I saw, understood what I understood. Chaz brings out the cart, we clamber on, and are brought back to the packing area in style, laugher and joy and radiant energy. We get settled for the night, and, starving, Islandcool and Cora and I go get dinner, and then begin the long journey back home, leaving our hearts in the sky. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~