Jessica

OK, I minored in French so I just hafta ask.... You know it's "du jour," right? "Jokes du jour"? I'm all for a creative misspelling if it's on purpose, of course.

You're cute.

I'm idly wondering if I could dye my RW suit black. It's got grey grippers and a maroon cordura behind. Forearms are maroon spandex. Everything else is black. Anybody got any idea?

Your random photo attatchments make me happy.

The problem I see here is that there is a big majority of readers who are appreciative of the comments about safety and wing loading etc., but don't respond in the forums. I think the positive effect of posts like Lisa's and Eric's gets swallowed up sometimes by the vocal posters. Who can be argumentative. Which is fine, but gosh, it's gotten kind of vicious in the last few days. Anyhoo, I understand if the safety Nazis take time off or disappear, but please don't lose sight of the fact that the silent masses learn from your input.

I love my Reflex, but I hate that every time I get the reserve repacked I have to give it back to the rigger a few weeks later to retighten the pop top. My main is a PD 170 (F-111), and I don't know if it's just cause I suck, but I have a bitch of a time getting a flare out of it. I don't remember having this much trouble on the ZPs I rented before I bought gear. Otherwise, I like the canopy just fine. No complaints about the rest of my gear, and all in all, I love every D-ring and scrap of webbing on it.

Did you maybe mean "YEEEHAW"? Seriously, I got a flier in the mail from SSM about y'all coming just the other day. It's gonna be raucous.

Well, hell...I've only got 60 jumps, but one of them's a helicopter, and two of them are reserve rides...would it be OK to have a log book entry that sez "CHOPPED THAT BITCH!!"?

YES! You are in for a GREAT time! It's a great DZ, good vibes. Whoo hoo! I'll be there...look for the redhead struggling with her canopy in the packing room.

It does. Why are we debating this?

Ahhhh, great shots.

Hiya Slapster! I'll try to make it this time, whatever date.

Heh, yep. And he always wants breakoff to be at 2K.

LOL! I always think that when I see the name... [demonic voice]"Malachi..."[/demonic voice]

Nah, not yet. I think it's funny.

He means "every time." Every time. EVERY. TIME.

OK, that made me choke on my yogurt.

Last one.... This woman's husband died at sea and she received his parrot as the only possession by which to remember him. Even though it was foulmouthed, she put up with it for sentimental reasons. After several unsuccessful months of trying to coerce the parrot to change his "sailor" ways, she finally issued him an ultimatum, "I'm having the bridge club over today and if one swear word is heard in the room, I'm going to feed you to the cat!" The parrot mulled this over and decided he had better start reforming or he was soon to become kitty fare. Later that day, the ladies started showing up. Unfortunately, one very large, elderly, snobbish-type woman sat down right by the corner where the parrot's cage was. After a few hands of cards, there was a refreshment break and the conversation really started getting heavy. The parrot didn't care much for the conversation or the attitude of the lady. The more she talked, the more he got these twinges to do something to get rid of her. Finally the parrot had it and piped up with, "Whore boat leavin' for China at two o'clock!" The woman looked up and said, "Well! I never!" then she stood up and headed for the door. Everyone is frozen in their seats when the parrot yelled after her, "Hey! Where are you goin'? Boat don't leave till two!"

A guy named David received a parrot for his birthday. The parrot was fully grown, with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was an expletive. Those that weren't expletives were, to say the least, rude. David tried hard to change the bird's attitude and was constantly saying polite words, playing soft music, anything he could think of to try and set a good example. Nothing worked. He yelled at the bird and the bird yelled back. He shook the bird and the bird just got more angry and more rude. Finally, in a moment of desperation, David put the parrot in the freezer. For a few moments he heard the bird squawk and kick and scream. Then suddenly there was quiet. Not a sound for half a minute. David was frightened that he might have hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door. The parrot calmly stepped out onto David's extended arm and said, "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I will endeavor at once to correct my behavior. I really am truly sorry and beg your forgiveness." David was astonished at the bird's change in attitude and was about to ask what had made such a dramatic change when the parrot continued, "May I ask what the chicken did?"

Lummy -- then quit drinking coffee!! A Canadian walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. "Hey, he's really neat," says the bartender. "Where'd you get him?" "In Canada," says the parrot. "There's millions of 'em."

A woman went to a pet store and settled on a parrot marked $50. She asked the shop keeper why the parrot was so cheap, and he said, "Well, I have to tell you, the bird's last owner was a madam at a bordello and he occasionally makes off-color remarks that may offend some people." Thinking that the price was right and she could handle a little raunchiness, she took him. When she got home she set the bird down on the table. He looked around and said, "New house, new madam." "That's not so bad," she thought. A little while later, her daughters got home from school, and the parrot spoke again, "New house, new madam, new tarts." Even though she felt a little insulted, she thought that wasn't so bad either. Later that evening, her husband Ray came home. The parrot again spoke up. "Hi Ray!"

I love parrot jokes! A woman is walking down the street to work and sees a parrot in a pet store. She stops to admire the bird. The parrot says to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." Well, the lady is furious! She storms past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same parrot in the window and the parrot upon seeing her says, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." She was incredibly ticked now. The next day on the way to work she saw the same parrot and once again it said, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." The lady was so furious that she stormed into the store and threatened to sue the store and have the bird killed. The store manager apologized profusely and promised the bird wouldn't say it again. The next day, when the lady walked past the store after work the parrot said to her, "Hey lady." She paused, scowled with an icy and deadly stare, and said with a hoarse voice, "Yes?" The bird, strutting back and forth on its perch in a cocky manner, said, "You know."

Is a Teardrop considered particularly freefly-friendly?

My guns haven't shipped yet, so I had to swing by College Station and borrow AggieDave's. But don't fret, I'll be there real soon!

*Jessica stamp of approval*