Skymonkey13

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He walks to the bar and orders a drink, at this time his monkey runs to the end of the bar and starts eating cherry's, lemons, what ever was down there. The Bartender says to the guy, " Do you see what your monkey is doing" The guy tells him he's sorry and will pay for anything that he does. The next day the guy and monkey are back, and same as yesterday the guy orders a drinks but this time the monkey run on the talbes and steals someones food. The guy pays for the food and tells them he;s sorry again and leaves. The next day the guy walks back in with the monkey and orders a drink..This time the monkey runs right to the pool tables and eats a ball, the bartender is mad once again and the guy pays the tab and leaves. It's been a couple days and the guy walks back into the bar with the monkey again. Orders a drink and the monkey runs down to the end of the bar. The bartender ask the guy, "did you see what your monkey just did" The guy replied NO, what did he do now? "He ran up to the cherries, picked one up and stuck it up to his butt and then ate it". The guy said, "Yea, he does that now after eating the pool ball..He's making sure that it will fit coming back out".

I wouldn't worry about it too much skymama, they all go through that kind of crap. She will eventually grow out of it. I know sometimes it looks like they never will, but they do. Kids have the magic ability to be able to turn into assholes when they become about 13 or so. but it will pass. Hang in there.

That Porter always reminds me of Wonder Bread.

Those are just too cute. I'm still laughing at that cats ass..

Woah, wait, i just seen that you are a guy, so never mind about the pics...they won't be nessecary...

OK You got me there Deuce, still LMAO

This post is nothing, without pics,,

I'm rolling on the floor here, and i can't get up..

But Hwy 71 leads you to the home of the "CHEIFS"

Get out of that state now, while you still have a chance yardhippie. The only good thing to come out of Ark. is Hwy 71.... Ya know i'm from there, so that why i feel like i can Razz you about it, i'm just kidding.

When he was younger and quite abit smaller, i caught my son lying to me. I knew he was lying, and he knew that i knew it, but he wouldn't admit it. I finally told him that he was going to get punished anyway because i knew he was lying, but that if he would just admit it, he wouldn't get a spanking. Then he finally so, "ok, i lied" So i told him he could just go upstairs to his room and think over what he had done. When he turned to go up stairs, i kick him in the ass (not hard, just to get his attention) he turned right around and said, "Hey dad, you said you wouldn't hit me" so i said "I lied, how does it feel?" He got the point and has remembered that to this day.

WOW.. after readind all the experiances you guys have had, it kinda makes almost getting your ass kicked by a 315 pound 6 ft 5 in wrestler seem, not so bad. But i'm not going back to find out.

Whats the Duck joke?

I have a Boy just like that...well, except the make up...thats where i draw the line.

I thought it was "Hilarious"

LMAO Chris...

When i was a kid, my Grandpa used to take me to all the wrestling matches. Only thing was, he thought they were legit I knew they were phony. But, if you told my Grandpa that, you were assured of never going to the matches again. Now i don't know how many of you, used to watch wrestling on TV years ago, but there used to be these 2 old ladies, who were twins, and they would spit at the wrestlers who were the bad guys, or cheated, when they left the ring. So i grow up thinking that there is "Some Kinda Rule" that the wrestlers cannot mess with the audience. When i was probably 22. or 23, i was at a match with my brother and a couple of friends' There is a wrestler named "Ernie The Cat Ladd" he used to be on the Chiefs, but was retired. He weighted 320 and was 6 foot 5 inches. He was the bad guy in this match. I was drunk He cheated to win this match. I'm sitting right next to where the wrestlers exit in what they call the Box Seats. So when he starts to leave the arena, i throw a beer in his face....Bad Mistake... this guy chases me up the stairs (thats right, i'm running) and i run out into the aisle, and i feel a BIG HAND. He grabbed me right by the back of the shirt. (now i'm thinking,oh shit, you screwed up this time) when all of a sudden 2 security guards grab him on both sides. OK, here's my chance, i drop to the ground, and that breaks his grip, but i don't get up, i keep crawling until i get to the door, then i jump up and i don't stop running until i'm in the parking lot. Then my brother and friends show up, and my brother says, "What the Hell is wrong with you?", so i say "Hey, i thought there was some kinda rule against them Bastards messing with the audience" Then he says "Hey, you throw a beer in my face, and i'll beat your Ass too" So i just say "Hey, he's lucky those security guards were there, because i was just getting ready to get all up in his Ass" Then we all had a good laugh and i counted my blessings.

It seems like Paul has passed on now. God Bless him. He's at rest now. I never knew him, but i allways grieve at the loss of a fellow skydiver. I hope your parents are reading this, and want to tell them i am very, very, sorry for their loss. The last time i went to a skydivers funeral, the little pamplet said, "Miss me a little" ,"Love me a lot", "But let me go", "I am at peace now".

Thanks dude..

Of the skydiving waiver. I was telling a friend of mine what it says, and he thinks i'm crazy.

When i first started jumping, years ago. I remember, i would drive to the DZ every week-end and would be looking out the window, and say to myself, "Damn, if it would just start raining, i wouldn't have to do this". I knew i wanted to do it, but i was scared shitless. Fear is a good thing. Without fear, there would be no rush. The good thing is, you got back in the air. There are still days when i'm going to the airport and i'm scared shitless. And when that happens, i just say "Damn, this is going to be a great day".

Very cool pic..

If it wasn't for Cessna's there probably wouldn't be any skydiving.

I don't think Chris meant it that way. It was a song in the movie. And i don't think any pilot would be happy about any plane accident.