Scoop

Maybe we'll have to start going the way some of your (US) schools have gone with metal detectors at the entrance. You'll never stop it, shit happens. But we can try our best. I think its also fair to say that this is mainly a problem in the larger cities as opposed to other areas. As for the spread of gang culture. Every generation has had gangs, thats human nature. I've not noticed an increase in knife crime locally.

BASTARD Have a good one mate. I'm glad you got harrassed though. It wouldn't be right if they just let you through.

Its POHM Prisoner of Her Majesty. I'm going to bed now. I stayed up late enough!

I have been wondering why I been waking up with a horrible taste in my mouth. Now I know

I'm pretty sure theres a joke in there somehwere dying to be unleashed

Let me throw in what I would consider to be the ideal stop technique for a civilian from a police officers perspective... 1 - PULL OVER AS SOON AS IT IS SAFE TO DO SO. Don't panic like an idiot and do your best emergancy stop because you suddenly have blue lights behind you. Don't continue driving for 2 miles either because you weren't sure if we wanted to pass or not. Don't stop on a corner, don't stop near a junction and don't stop on the brow of a hill. 2 - STAY IN THE CAR, TURN THE ENGINE OFF, DONT REACH FOR ANYTHING Some people believe it is better to get out the car and approach the police officer to show good intent. Don't do it. From my point of view you are safer if you remain in the car unless asked to join the officer on the pavement. Also an officer will be cautious at being approached by somebody as their intentions won't be known. Reaching for stuff quite innocently like paperwork can also be misconstrued. Hiding something, reaching for a weapon etc 3 - BE POLITE Don't beg, don't flutter your eyelids. Do be honest, if asked if you know why you've been pulled over and you obviously went througha red light, just say 'yeah, I think I ran a red light. I'm sorry'. I personally got no joy out of dishing out tickets. If someone admitted what they had done and knew why it was stupid I'd let them go with verbal advice only. Its more paperwork I could do without. The only thing that would make it worthwhile is if the offences severity dictated no other option or if your attitude was such you needed to be hit in your pocket to learn the error of your ways. Don't gob off, don't be a comedian, no stupid comments. Do feel free to ask any reasonable questions you have regarding any procedure being conducted. Do feel free to engage in neutral chit chat, it helps pass the time. Unless you are really clued up on law I suggest you don't question the officers actions. ie. 'your not allowed to do that' etc. They probably are. If they do something they are not allowed to do they end up in a world of shit and any subsequent conviction based on these actions will be dismissed anyway. Its really not in an officers interest to act beyond their powers. 4 - FOLLOW INSTRUCTIONS Do as your instructed. Definately ask if your unsure about anything. Like a field imparement test or breathalyser procedure etc 5 - BE A GRACIOUS LOSER OR HAPPY MOTORIST If your done for something just take it on the chin. You got noone to blame but yourself. If your arrested don't put up a struggle because you will lose. You will eat tarmac and thats only where it begins. Your bad behaviour will be evidenced and taken into consideration throughout your detention and possibly any subsequent court case. If you've been disrupted but no offences have been identified just be happy you've been stopped. I used to stop lots of cars for no paticular reason (allowed to over here) especially high value motor vehicles or performance cars to check they weren't stolen. Very often the owners were happy as if their car was stolen they'd be hoping we'd be looking out for it. 6 - REJOIN TRAFFIC SENSIBLY Continue your journey. Don't leave in a hail of wheelspin and tyre smoke as some like to do after a traffic stop, Don't rejoin the motorway or any fast road at a slow speed. Usually the police car will remain behind you protecting the scene until you leave so don't wait for the police car to leave first, its there for your protection, use it. NOTE: This is my view. Each officer is different. But I am a reasonable fellow and feel the above is all good practice. Of course, if you meet a traffic officer, however, they are a special breed. They get hard ons for stuff like this. Tossers

I personally never take anyone to the DZ, its my sanctuary. I've shown some people around but thats it. I was seeing a girl once who wasn't exactly available on the market. Showed her around. She liked the place... next weeekend she was there with her boyfriend. AWKWARD! None of my whuffo friends come to the DZ and I have never encouraged them to do anything to do with skydiving. Last thing I want is people from my regular day to day life showing up on my one escape activity. I guess its same for people who fish or golf too. I enjoy the total freedom I have, part of that I gain from cutting away from real life. When I'm at the DZ I have no bills, I have no GF problems, I dont care that I got a 60 hour week ahead of me. If your not going to have the support to jump, and you will want to put alot of time (and money) in down the DZ, its not going to work.

You have to have a sense of humour when you work with the public EDIT: I'm not actually a constable anymore but work for the police as a civilian employee, I hope to return to being one again soon. Don't worry, I didn't do anything naughty!

Yep, he'll prob have a heart attack at 50! I would bracket him in the nutter-psycho category Everyone needs to vent a little though!

Hahaha, I see people are coming round to my way of thinking ... and to think I was mocked!! With your technique you can also protect the headlining in your car on those romantic outdoor excursions. From this day forth that shall be known as the "AIRTWARDO method"

Do ya feel lucky punk?

Remember, make it bleed If its bleeding nicely its clean. Then pop on the old dab of savlon and when you wake up in the morning... what fucking spot!? I'd just like to make it perfectly clear that I am not some filthy disgusting excuse for a man that uses facial products

Savlon antiseptic skin healing cream Seriously, that stuff is awesome. Be it spots, cuts, grazes, scabs. Whack it on. Squeezing a small spot is awkward though, I shave the top of the fuckers

LMAO. I'm not a fan of all that other stuff.. but just make sure you got the hoops on OK, big enough that dolphins can jump through them

Thats right. Starbucks is too posh for me. Who needs plush leather sofas when you got the cold, damp concrete wall up the seafront. WAHEY!

Ahh... but are you a fat, old, sweaty, drug taking, alcoholic, single mother, toothless, jobless, benefit swindling whorebag?

Of the people that whinge to me about how much the police suck, if they are otherwise decent folk I just give them the details of recruitment and say that if they want to make a difference they should join up to be one of our special constables (volunteers) First thing they normally say is "work for free!?". They don't give damn about their community. They just like to whinge. Wankers

We all do it but I can see the other side too. In a way I'm glad people do lose their tempers now and again. Its human nature. It shouldnt be surprising that people driving cars get the hump. My cars quite humble but nice, its my pride and joy. Only worth about £4500 but if someone damaged it pulling across without looking or doing a silly overtake I would probably drag them out their car. I work hard to pay for my car, I work hard to pay for my insurance. I keep it immaculate and being a young driver, I am finally reaping the rewards of no claims history. Someone hits me, I'm without a car, lose my no claims history, insurance will go up, and could potentially be injured, or on the roads I drive, a collision resulting from a dangerous overtake from an oncoming car would definately be a fatal. When I dodge that bullet from a wanker driving another car, excuse me if I get the red mist. People don't react that way in the street so much because, in my opinion, theres not so much at stake. All theses pyschologists and stuff that love to try and understand the thought process behind road rage. Someone should set fire to their car, bill them an extra £500 a year for no reason, break all their limbs, kill their girlfriend and anything else that seems reasonable and ask them what emotions they are feeling. Then they'll undersatnd why people get so emotive when they are driving. THIS EXCLUDES YOUR PYSCHO NUTTERS WHO JUST GO OFF ON ONE BECAUSE YOU ARE DOING THE SPEED LIMIT ETC

I've heard most of them already. I would have personally just laughed it off as I reached for my ticket book, as opposed to giving verbal advice. Honestly if you did even 1 shift you'd be sick of how many people say the same stupid shit. You can't even walk down the road without people saying stuff like "oh, it was me, arrest me officer" (from fat ugly jobless whorebag), "have you come to take her away!?" (man 'jokes' pointing at wife, "i like a man in uniform" (another fat ugly whorebag). The thing is, they all think they are original and funny, they must realise you hear it all day, every day. Its like when your washing your car and someone says "you can do mine after that". You laugh at them politely then when they walk off you call them a cunt under your breath. People who come out with witty retorts, no mater how nice they are, immediately fail the attitude test. Its just too annoying

I've never understood Starbucks. Its so expensive. I'm not much of a coffee drinker anyway. I'd rather buy 100 teabags for the price of 1 coffee

I may have read it wrong but it sounds like you were the victim of your own impatience and inconsiderate driving. If theres been an accident in the carriageway the last thing you want is people weaving in and out of traffic. People (drivers) arent paying full attention and there may be people wandering around too. I don't like to drive too close to other cars on fast roads as people do all sorts of weird crap and it gives you so much more time to react. So when some office jockey in a hurry flies past me and dives in that space compromising my safety I get the fucking hump too. Just remember that for most 'road rage' incidents theres some action that triggers it. I've done it myself, cut someone up because I'm going to over shoot the junction and then you know how you avoid to look in the mirror because you know they are pissed. lol

Its good isn't it What really pisses me off is how everyone seems to be an engineer. Install double glazing. Thats an engineer. Someone who mixes paint, they are an engineer. How the fuck?! Even insurance assesors say they are engineers nowadays *sigh* I guess that means I'm an attitude engineer or a community welfare engineer What a crock huh!? EDIT: The flowery poncy names for job titles just annoys me. Used to be security guards or store detective. Now they are Loss Prevention Officers or Revenue Protection. Does make me chortle

A knife attack is still physical and up close. Firing a gun isn't. If a 10 stone teenager come up to me with a knife I could probably fight my way out of it, I'd get seriously hurt but I could do it... probably. If a 10 stone teenager come within effective range and shot me I couldn't really do fuck all about it Its indiscriminate, unless they were truly an awful shot.

Yes they are extremely complicated bits of equipment Aim & squeeze. Takes less balls than fronting someone out face to face too.

Scrap all that shit and bolt on some Webers Nothing sounds better than a race tuned engine singing through drooling Weber carbs. mmmmmm