Nataly

OMG this is SUCH an ugly look - for the love of god, *someone* tell all the teenagers in the world to stop!!! "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

You may just have summarised why people treat you like a little snot.. the stuff others have posted about perception, etc. is true union shop, young and smart - their perception is that you are smart and "better" than them and they resent that Or maybe they don't like a young guy with a cocky attitude.. Maybe they think you're *not* actually better but in fact full of shit "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Ron White Ah ha ha!!! Too right!! "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

+1 I recently received boobies, penises, lips and heart-shaped confetti - GENIUS!! "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Perceptions, matey - perceptions!! "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Ah ha ha!! I think I might just do that!!! "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

You may just have summarised why people treat you like a little snot.. "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Yep - VERY true.. But the OP gave me the impression that this guy wasn't the only one giving him flack.. But yeah.. Some people you will NEVER please & that's just tough luck. Every work place has at least one - if you think it doesn't, it's probably you!! "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

EWWWW!! Where is the pukey emoticon when you need it??!! "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Oh, and one last thing.. People don't expect you to be good at your job when you're young. People expect you to be keen, work hard, and want to learn. Maybe people's bad perception of you rests on the fact that you don't *seem* to be interested/keen/hard-working enough. So work on showing them that you are. The experience/knowledge/clout will come in time. "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

I would recommend to the OP that he reads jnesbitt's comment.. VERY good advice IMO.. I used to work in the military as an aircraft mechanic (Aviation Systems Technician if you really want the official job title!!).. So what the OP describes is something I experienced to a degree when I first started.. First, you need to understand that *perception* is more powerful than *reality* in the workplace. This is especially true of jobs that are social/interactive like many engineering trades. (As opposed, for instance, to a job where you are in a closed office all day, dealing with paperwork, where people don't see you and form less of an opinion on you.) You need to bear in mind that your actions are not only visible to all your colleagues, but they will be judged as well. So to put that into context.. Yes, you may not be behaving in a way that is any different to anyone else when there is time to kill.. But at that point in time, perhaps there *was* a job that needed doing which your colleague knew about and assumed you were too lazy to help with. This is just an example, but how and when you choose to kill time can and will be interpreted by your colleagues until you have proven to them that you are a hard, solid, reliable worker. At your age, you simply don't have the longevity to be able to say with confidence that you have proven yourself. Remember - perception.. Someone who is older WILL be perceived as having more clout even when they are new. It's a simple fact of life that with age comes assumed wisdom/knowledge. That's not to say the person *actually* has said wisdom/knowledge. So if you feel you are getting flack for your behaviour - behave in a way that sends a clear message that you are dedicated, keen, and reliable. In the short term, you *do* have something to prove. So prove it. In a couple of years, *then* you can sit back and relax a bit without people getting all upset with you for it. Also, if the guys are jerks, but within themselves they seem to get on famously, you are obviously being treated as an outsider. I reckon over time, when you are consistently doing a great job, personal relationships will become much easier by default because your colleagues will know that you are pulling your own weight. In the short term, all you can do is work HARDER than everyone else - the rest will follow over time. But it does take time to build trust/respect. "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

I completely agree with you. For those who don't understand the layout, I'm in a basement flat, so the only access to the cellar is through my flat. The flat comprises essentially of one big room, with a separate loo and a separate kitchen. There are two ways the landlord can access this flat - the first is through a door that connects our flats - he would enter into my kitchen (I don't have the key to this connecting door). Happily, there is a second door separating the kitchen from the rest of the flat, which I usually leave locked with the key inside it. The second point of access is through the front entrance (we both have our own separate front entrance, so neither one of us have to go through any common areas). I always lock myself in (with the deadbolt), but given the ONLY other person who can enter via the front door is the landlord, I assumed basic common courtesy when the lights are on would dictate that if he ever wanted to come in he would knock/ring the doorbell!!! But from now on, I am locking myself in with the key in the front door as well. And from now on if ever I'm reasonably certain that he has been in my flat without checking with me first, I won't be confronting him, I will be moving. He has my phone number and knows how to knock - there is absolutely NO REASON WHATSOEVER that he should enter without giving me notice/getting my permission (unless of course the flat is on fire!!!). "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

I don't know the rules on changing the locks, but I don't think I'm allowed to do this. Besides, going back to my previous statement, the landlord lives just above me and causing undue friction in the relationship is not a good idea... I don't personally think this is a battle worth fighting, unless necessary (ie: he causes damage to my stuff or I can't find a new place or timing is such that moving is not practical). The fact is that I have a nice, quiet, affordable flat in a great location.. On balance, I should count myself lucky. That being said, I don't think what he did is ok, and I think it's perfectly reasonable for me to ask him to give me notice or at least knock on my door before coming in!! "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Umm.. Consider yourself lucky to be getting paid for every hour you work.. Many of us who are trying to climb the corporate ladder work obscene hours every week, including weekends and are on a yearly salary.. I reckon if I divided my annual salary by the number of hours I worked in a year, I would not even be getting paid minimum wage on an hourly basis!! And I *could* sit there and complain about it, but it's a choice I make because I obviously believe that at some point the hard work will pay off. If I didn't believe that, I'd just be a sucker who's overworked and underpaid!! Yeah.. Back to my original post.. Either do something about it or accept that you are working for a business and their main concern is ultimately the bottom line. What they are doing is not wrong - it's called managing costs. "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

I'm of the opinion that you have a certain period in which you can complain about having been lied to.. But there comes a point where you have to admit that by doing nothing about your situation you are essentially accepting that it's ok. For instance, I was told all kinds of lies about my job when I first started. I complained and threatened to leave, and a couple of months later they promoted me.. That turned out to be a big fat bunch of lies as well.. One year later, I told HR I was fed up with my role and wanted a change.. They promoted me again (mostly sideways, but a bit up as well). And, unsurprisingly, that role was/is also a joke. But honestly.. After the first few months.. I stopped believing the bullshit and knew what the deal was.. In still working there, I accept all the bs and take the job for what it is: shitty, but well paid. It's clear that my company will never offer me what I want, so if I want things to change, I do have the option of quitting and finding a new job. I therefore don't have much of a right to complain because ultimately, it's *my* fault that I choose to carry on putting up with the bs. Now, iluvtofly, this may be a new job, and things may change.. But if over time they don't change and you're still unhappy - take matters into your own hands and make the change yourself.. Otherwise.. Suck it up.. "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Wow.. It's incredibly generous of you to offer to give me your motorcycle - one down, two to go "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

The thing that needs to be taken into consideration is that the landlord lives above me.. In all respects but this one, I have had absolutely no problems whatsoever. His feeling that he has a right to come in whenever he wants is inconsiderate and demonstrates a misunderstanding of the law, but it's not necessarily ill-intentioned or creepy.. So if moving forward he respects my request to give me notice before coming in, there is no problem. I don't know him very well and his initial reaction might have been pretty rude, but for all I know maybe he has just had a shit day.. Although I do have legal rights, enforcing these usually causes a lot of undue friction. The reality is that if the problem persists, the only true solution is for me to find a new place. Edit to say: In the grand scheme of things, moving would cause me aggravation for a couple of weeks - a dispute with the landlord would be *way* worse.. Ideally, an amicable resolution can be found that avoids both scenarios (ie: he texts in advance or knocks on the door - pretty simple, really). "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

I think in life you have to adapt both to the rules and the reality.. The rule is you must drive at or below the speed limit.. The reality is that if everyone is going faster than you, you DO NOT belong in the left lane, which should be for passing. Unless you're in the UK, in which case the lanes are reversed. Personally, I think if someone wants to ride my ass, it's best to just let them go - it just makes it that much more satisfying when 'round the bend they get caught speeding by the coppers!!! I don't have time to deal with aggressive drivers - I'd rather not aggravate them and let them think they are overtaking when in reality I keep seeing the same people at the same traffic lights as me 2 minutes down the road. Just not worth it IMO. Edit: spelling "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Ohhh.. Good idea.. Then I could get all 3 items on my list, and probably all at the same time "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

The problem with this tactic is that deteriming that point is very difficult, and it is almost impossible to tell when you have gone past it until it is too late Yeah.. You've usually reached that point just moment before you decide you just want "one more"... 10 drinks later, you're so beyond that point you have no idea what the point of anything is - it just sure sounds like fun!! "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

- a motorcycle

Yep.. Like I said.. We're still mates, but there will be no fuckery!!! Edit: re the landlord.. EWWWWWW. "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

OMG.. I would NOT discuss my oversexed love-life with a newspaper and have my picture next to the article!!! Sheesh!! "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

I agree and feel the same. There are wolves and there are sheep and there are sheep dogs. Although I have never been confronted in such a way, having spent a number of years training in martial arts, I fear my self-defense mechanism will kick in. That might be true of a sane/rational individual.. Unfortunately, you can't be sure that the person you're dealing with isn't a schizo or on some serious mind-altering drugs.. The fact is that you can reasonably expect normal people to behave a certain way, but you cannot at all predict what a lunatic will do.. I didn't fully appreciate this fact until I moved to London.. You just never know what to expect from the crazies.. I've often thought that I'm feisty and would instinctively put up a fight.. Now I hope to god I would have the good sense to a - not put myself in dangerous situations in the first place b - comply/run away to avoid harm should harm come my way "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

I was a landlady and ditto.. But yeah.. He basically admitted to coming in and out of this place on a regular basis to fetch stuff in the cellar and also in another storage cupboard - which the latter we *never* agreed to. I think 24 hr notice in writing could be a simple text on my phone.. And in this case I don't think the law is unreasonable.. I think it's there for a very good reason - a tenant has a right to enjoy the property as though it's his or her own, provided he/she respects the condition of the property and lives up to his/her side of the tenancy agreement. Pretty simple, really. And honestly, I think I'm a pretty awesome tenant.. I *always* pay on time (a couple of days early, in fact). I never have guests. I spend all my time either at work or studying or online, but NONE of this makes ANY noise, WHATSOEVER. I don't complain about anything. I'm clean and tidy (the place is MUCH cleaner than when I moved in). I haven't modified or tampered with or damaged the property in any way. Almost all of the furniture in here is mine. I don't use the heating. I don't use tons of water or electricity. Seriously, I can't think that they have any complaints about me at all. "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss