Douva

Okay, it's not for me, it's for the American Cancer Society. And it's tax deductable. Imagine that--a whole $5 (or more, if you like) on which you won't have to pay taxes next year. And I promise I won't make any more posts asking for donations, after this one. We're two days away from the event, and my team is still only at 40% of our fundraising goal. CLICK HERE TO DONATE I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.

Actually, you're supposed to drink white wine with placenta. With fava beans and a nice chianti. Walt I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.

I think MySpace is a great concept, but like another great concept--Communism, it fails in practice because of the shortcomings of human nature. It's supposed to make it easier to communicate with friends, but instead of communication, what you get from your friends are chain letter surveys about your favorite food and color, funny videos that would make Bob Saget cringe, and glittery, blinking messages that say things like, "TGIF!" It's supposed to make it easier to find dates, but what it really does is allow people to make decisions based on superficial criteria, absent any real communication or face-to-face interaction. MySpace fails in its intended functions because human nature always seeks the easy way out. If we can have friends without thought, effort, or real emotion, we will. If we can avoid awkward conversations with potential suitors and base our dating choices on beach photos and lists of favorite bands, we will. If we have the choice between working very hard to form a few real, meaningful relationships or forming a lot of shallow relationships without working at it at all, we'll generally choose the option that requires less work. What MySpace does accomplish is a database of personal information that would have made the KGB envious. Most people would be blown away if they knew how much personal information can be found online about someone, simply by knowing his or her name, birth date, and city of residence. Many MySpace accounts include a lot more information than that (i.e., city of birth; list of schools attended, with a breakdown of the years attended; past and present places of employment, with a breakdown of the years employed; names of family members; etc.) Back in the days when I still had a MySpace account, I was once talking to a woman whose MySpace page included her age and city of residence and whose page address was her first and last name. She didn't believe me when I told her that her page contained too much personal information. I changed her mind a few seconds later when I told her her maiden name. Even if you're smart enough to leave all personal information off your page, it's likely that someone can find out more than you'd care for him or her to know about you, by obtaining the personal information of the people on your friends list. Basically, if you were someone I chatted with on MySpace, the only thing that stopped me from showing up at your door at four o'clock some morning was the simple fact that I had no desire to do so. There are a lot of bored, lonely people out there, and to many of them, MySpace looks like the cure for what ails them. If you really doubt people are bored and lonely, look at online dating services, which comprise a $700 million a year industry. MySpace is the fastest spreading new drug in a society that's starved for human interaction but walled off by technology. Excerpt from my April 6, 2006 blog post about how technology is walling us off from each other: "Behold, the gods give us online social networking (AKA MySpace). Why waste your time meeting one or two people a week in the real world, where you might actually be expected to converse intelligibly and get to know someone, when you can browse through millions of profiles online, narrow them down to only those people who meet your absolute ideals in every category from height to musical preference, and then converse with these people, comfortable in the knowledge that no matter how long you know them, circumstances will never force your conversations beyond banal small talk? Why risk real life, where conversations can be tainted by dodgy subjects like religion and politics, when you can have an online life, where conversations have been replaced by the exchange of funny video clips and mindless surveys?" I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.

By the way, just because I've met my fundraising goal of $100, don't feel like you've missed the chance to donate to a great cause. You can always help one of my teammates reach his or her $100 goal. Just CLICK HERE, select the name of someone who hasn't raised $100 yet, and donate through his or her page. Or, if you prefer, you can donate through my page and make me look really, really good to the rest of my team. I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.

Thanks for the donation, Paul! I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.

Thanks so much for the donation, Jaye! I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.

I'm $30 away from my (admittedly low) Relay for Life fundraising goal, so if anyone wants to throw a couple of bucks at a good cause, CLICK HERE to learn more about the event and donate online. I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.

Damn! Sorry, Dave--I saw you yesterday and didn't even realize it was your birthday. That's two years in a row I've failed to give you a birthday fire/lap dance. Happy birthday! I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KIM!!!!! Jeff, if you want me to jump out of a cake for her, all you have to do is ask. I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.

I made a blog post on this topic a couple of months ago. I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.

Does anyone else remember all of the "experts" who were quoted after 9/11 as saying there will never be a 9/11 movie because it's just too close to most Americans' hearts? I wish I could find some of those quotes now. I remember laughing and telling several people that there would be a 9/11 movies within ten years. Now it turns out Hollywood couldn't even wait five years. I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.

You're so cool, Kim. What do you think--Is this going to be as good as From Dusk Till Dawn? Were you able to sneak any pictures of yourself in your zombie makeup? Your "hurry up and wait" stories are making me miss being on set. I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.

And Amazon has officially won the one-liner of the day award. I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.

I make no guarantees one way or the other. You can't spend your whole life preparing for a zombie attack and then not think instinct is going to take over when you see your friend in full zombie makeup. I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.

It's a guy thing. I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.

This is my favorite flower. I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.

I'm not sure--I have mine done at the barber shop. I suppose the next time I'm there I could ask what they use. I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.

Okay, I have a serious porn screenwriting question for Nicole. After reading the first "XXX" thread, I started thinking about the ways a screenplay for an adult feature would differ from a screenplay for a mainstream feature, and I'm curious how the sex scenes are usually handled. I'm assuming most of the coordination is done on set by the director, so how are these scenes handled in the script? The closest analogy I could think of to mainstream filmmaking is action scenes, which are usually coordinated by a stunt coordinator working closely with the director. Action scenes are handled by screenwriters in a myriad of ways, ranging from detailed, technical descriptions of the action to one line summations. Perhaps the most famous example of the latter is the lengthy Atlanta fire scene in [I]Gone With The Wind[/I], which was written as "Atlanta burns." I've even seen low budget scripts where the screenwriter wrote "Action to be choreographed later." The preferred method for writing an action scene (providing a brief summation of the action that also sets the tone of the scene) falls somewhere between these two extremes. Would I be correct in assuming this is also the proper way to handle a sex scene in a script for an adult film? Or is my question flawed in its assumption that anyone cares how an adult script is written, just so long as the actors have something to say between sex acts? I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.

I work alone....So yes. I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.

Me, me, and me. Nothing but hot, wet Douva on Douva action. Just Douva taking it from Douva while giving it up to Douva. Live on Pay-Per-View, it's All Holes Filled by Douva. If you think triplets are hot, wait until you see three Douva clones getting it on ALL NIGHT LONG. Call now, and we'll send you this trademarked Douva/Douva/Douva tank top. That's right--The first video is only $9.95. Then you'll receive a new video each month, with absolutely no obligation to buy. Cancel any time. Still not disturbed by the mental image of Douvas doing Douvas? You will be! Call now and receive, as Douva's free gift to you, Douva, Episode 2: The Clone Whores. See the largest no holes barred Douva orgy ever captured on video! That's right--It's more Douvas than you can possibly imagine, doing things you don't want to imagine. It's so twisted it's been banned in fifty-seven states. And if you call within the next fifteen minutes, we'll send you the instructional video Douva Bondage 101. Watch Douvas literally beat the shit out of other Douvas! All of this for the low, low introductory price of $9.95. You have Douva's 100% money back guarantee that you won't find more Douva porn for your Douva porn buying dollar anywhere on earth. Call now! Douvas are standing by. I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.

I can think of plenty of reasons not to let seven and eight-year-old kids go to the park alone, but all of those reasons existed when your parents were that age. The chance of a child being abducted by a stranger isn't any greater today than when you were a child. In fact, despite what the hype might have you believing, most unbiased studies conclude there are only about 150-300 annual child abductions by strangers in all of North America. You're more likely to die skydiving than loose a child to a stranger abduction. We live in a society plagued by fear and haunted by rose colored memories. I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.

I call bullshit. The "good ol' days" is a myth as old as western civilization. I don't argue that we've lost sight of what's important, but the idea that life was simpler "back then" is pure nonsense perpetuated primarily by people who viewed the past through the eyes of a child. The other purveyors of this poppycock are the elderly who have an inherent fear of change and retro-idealists who never lived in the "good ol' days" but assume it must have been better than the current state of things. The truth is, life has always been difficult and complicated, and it will always be difficult and complicated. Every time you solve one problem you'll create another. That's life. PS. You can still let your kids play outside. Despite all the fear mongering, they are statistically safer in almost every aspect of their lives (including "stranger danger") than they were fifty years ago. PPS. Sorry for the unnecessary rant, but overly sentimental reminiscing about how much better things used to be gets under my skin. I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.

http://www.snopes.com/language/document/goodwife.htm I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.

My friend Jason (jumpjunkie) calls it "training wheels for freeflying." I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.

Well, so much for my sig line. I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.