Darkzone

And what's more, it's also a well known fact that every Mg of alcohol kills millions of brain cells Far away is close at hand in images of elsewhere.

It's a well known fact that every Mg of alcohol kills millions of brain cells Far away is close at hand in images of elsewhere.

Dumb Laws from across America (All true) It is against the law to throw a ball at someone's head for fun The penalty for jumping off a building is death. Slippers are not to be worn after 10:00 P.M. Citizens may not greet each other by "putting one's thumb to the nose and wiggling the fingers". It is illegal for a father to call his son a "faggot" or "queer" in an effort to curb "girlie behavior." It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church. Boogers may not be flicked into the wind. It is illegal for a husband to beat his wife with a stick larger than the diameter of his thumb It is considered an offense to open an umbrella on a street, for fear of spooking horses. Moose may not be viewed from an airplane. It is considered an offense to push a live moose out of a moving airplane. No vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles per hour Nobody is allowed to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool. You are not permitted to wear cowboy boots unless you already own at least two cows. Detonating a nuclear device within the city limits results in a $500 fine. It is illegal for a man to beat his wife with a strap wider than 2 inches without her consent. You may not hunt moths under a street light. Toads may not be licked. Zoot suits are prohibited. It is illegal to molest butterflies. It is illegal to wipe one's car with used underwear. Persons classified as "ugly" may not walk down any street. It is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor. You may not drive a black car on Sundays. Cats may not run loose without having been fit with a taillight. In order for a pickle to officially be considered a pickle, it must bounce. It is unlawful to walk backwards after sunset. All citizens must own a rake. Against the law to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or street lamp It is illegal to say "Oh, Boy." It is illegal for a chicken to cross the road. One may not pee in his neighbor's mouth. It is forbidden to fish while sitting on a giraffe's neck. It is against the law to make faces at dogs A man over the age of 18 may be arrested for statutory rape if the passenger in his car is not wearing her socks and shoes, and is under the age of 17. The value of Pi is 4, and not 3.1415. If two trains meet on the same track, neither shall proceed until the other has passed. By law, anyone who has been drinking is "sober" until he or she "cannot hold onto the ground." One may not dye a duckling blue and offer it for sale unless more than six are for sale at once. You may not step out of a plane in flight. It is illegal for a man to scowl at his wife on Sunday. It is illegal to have a sheep in the cab of your truck without a chaperone. It is illegal for bar owners to sell beer unless they are simultaneously brewing a kettle of soup. Doughnut holes may not be sold. It is illegal to wear a bullet-proof vest while committing a murder It is against the law to "frown" at a police officer. All cats must wear three bells to warn birds of their whereabouts It is illegal to get a fish drunk. Women are forbidden from wearing patent leather shoes, lest men see reflections of their underwear. It's illegal for a woman to strip off her clothing while standing in front of a man's picture. It is illegal to have the hind legs of farm animals in your boots. Dishes must drip dry. It's illegal to walk down a sidewalk and knock a snakes head off with your cane. All fire hydrants must be checked one hour before all fires Horses are to wear pants at all times It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep in a cheese factory Up to a felony charge can be levied for promoting the use of, or owning more than six dildos. Obnoxious odors may not be emitted while in an elevator. It is illegal not to drink milk. It is illegal to detonate any nuclear weapon. You can have them, but you just can't detonate them. No one may walk down the street carrying a paper bag containing a violin. It is illegal to tickle women. Spitting on a sea gull is not tolerated. You may not carry a concealed weapon that is over six feet in length. You may not ride an ugly horse. A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month. Far away is close at hand in images of elsewhere.

Go here: www.dumblaws.com Far away is close at hand in images of elsewhere.

Update It appears it was an Ilyushin airliner capable of carrying over 300 passengers. Fortunately it was flying with just a crew of 18 sadly 17 of which perished. Far away is close at hand in images of elsewhere.

Not long ago in the UK you couldn't buy a bible on a Sunday but you could buy a girlie mag. I'm glad I don't have religion Far away is close at hand in images of elsewhere.

Just heared on the BBC that a Russian cargo plane has crashed on take off from Moscow Airport. Far away is close at hand in images of elsewhere.

A special Florida law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on a Sunday. "If caught she shall risk arrest, fine and/or jailing" So, no boobies around DeLand or Zephyrhills today! Far away is close at hand in images of elsewhere.

Try this http://www.engrish.com Far away is close at hand in images of elsewhere.

SCAM WARNING I usually don't forward these but this looks like it's pretty important. Darkzone --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Don't get caught out: SEND THIS WARNING TO EVERYONE ON YOUR EMAIL LIST. IF A MAN COMES TO YOUR FRONT DOOR, SAYS HE IS CONDUCTING A SURVEY AND ASKS YOU TO SHOW HIM YOUR TITS, DO NOT SHOW HIM YOUR TITS. THIS IS A SCAM, HE ONLY WANTS TO SEE YOUR TITS. I wish I'd seen this email yesterday. I feel so stupid. Signed A. Blonde Far away is close at hand in images of elsewhere.

Hey Jasmin, I tried to call your number just after you posted but got no answer. I went to Langar on Tuesday to do a packing course and hopefully get in a jump or two. I nearly turned back though cos the weather was f****ing atrocious. Heaviest rain for a long time. When I got there there were no more than half a dozen other people there and certainly noone jumping. So, you didn't miss much. Far away is close at hand in images of elsewhere.

Does Johnny Knoxville know about this? Far away is close at hand in images of elsewhere.

Whew! Serious offence ganted, but termination seems a bit harsh. Just sack them! Far away is close at hand in images of elsewhere.

True conversation between my mother and I in car... Mom: "Did you see on the news the other day, they're going to use trained llamas as guide dogs for the blind" Me: "Guide dogs?!" Mom: "Yes, guide dogs. They've trained them up 'cos there's a shortage of proper dogs suitable for the job." Me: "Wow, that's amazing, but llamas are like, quite big and they spit at people." Mom: "I know, but apparently they're quite intelligent apart from the spitting and all that..." Me: "The harnesses must be huge." Mom: "I think the blind people would be able to ride them places." Me: "Whatever next...are you sure they're training them as guide dogs?" Mom: "......actually...thinking about it...no...I think it was sheep dogs." Me: "Mom, get out of the car, please." Far away is close at hand in images of elsewhere.

My ex-girlfriend was so thick she wanted to have wisdom teeth put IN! Far away is close at hand in images of elsewhere.

I was hosing down the flesh between her ripples of fat one day and my bike fell out! Far away is close at hand in images of elsewhere.

Let's all take a step back from this deep philosophical thinking and look at things from a more simplistic stance. That way I think we might make a better, more rational judgment. Let's suppose that heaven (and hell) really exist. If, as we are led to believe from those that have allegedly been brought back from the dead, that at the end of the tunnel, our deceased friends and loved ones are there waiting for us, we must assume that they appear as they did before they passed on. So, just suppose that the victim of a terrible accident, say, being run over by a road roller appears at the Pearly Gates, would he be paper thin (Just like in a Tom & Jerry cartoon) and be able to slip under the gates unnoticed. Also, just for arguments sake, the same guy was pissed when he stepped into the path of said road roller, would he reach heaven still pissed, unable to stand, urinating up the gate posts and addressing St Peter as 'My bestest pal' for all eternity? On the other hand, if only our souls go upstairs then how do we know that those that greet us are who they say they are and not just clever ventriloquists like the guy that lives two doors from me and speaks to me through my kettle? Or maybe Heaven is really like Oz and God is that guy behind the curtain and we're supposed to take no notice of him and only discover him if our dog dies with us and pulls the curtain aside...There's another thing, do animals go to the same heaven as us and if so can you buy cat litter up there...or Whiskers...or Bonios even? And what side of the road do we drive on? Far away is close at hand in images of elsewhere.

Dyslexics rule KO Far away is close at hand in images of elsewhere.

I didn't realise my girlfriend was putting on so much weight until she got onto a 'speak your weight' machine and it groaned and said, 'One at a time, please' Yeah, yeah, I know. The old ones are the...er...old ones. Far away is close at hand in images of elsewhere.

Hey....ya young whippersnapper!! What the hell's going on??!! Far away is close at hand in images of elsewhere.

Hi Mel, We've never met and I don't think I've ever replied to any of your posts before and even though I've never even remotely experienced what you must be going through right now I have been on both ends of 'cutaways', as 'cutter' and 'cuttee'. I wish you all the best with whichever way you decide to play this. It won't be easy, you can be sure of that and the tears and anger may linger for a long time but as the old saying goes and I apologise for the cliche 'time really does heal'. What you need to do when the dust finally settles is to move forward with your life, skydiving and new loves and when you think back to the past try to remember all the good things from your relationship and throw the bad things into a dark corner of your mind. However, none of the other replies you have received have mentioned your present other half and, as seems obvious from your post there is no animosity between you both and still a lot of feelings even if on your part they are not the same 'love' that he obviously feels for you. So, whilst we all wish you the very best let's also spare a thought for him and even though he may never read this think of him and the hurt he will be going through also. Far away is close at hand in images of elsewhere.

Thanks for all the comments, guys. It may not be all bad news after all. She will know today if she is to be offered an alternative position within the company (a condition in the paperwork they had forgotten about) but if not she has been offered a job elsewhere which sounds much better. So every cloud DOES have a silver lining. Incidentally, as if it seemed things couldn't get any worse, she did her first ever jump yesterday. A tandem at Langar with the excellent DM. Unfortunately, they had a line-over and had to chop!! So, two firsts in one day...BEEEEEEER!!! Far away is close at hand in images of elsewhere.

Please don't....I'm eating! Far away is close at hand in images of elsewhere.

British employment laws suck. On Tuesday, my SO who works for the same company as me was dismissed from her job! Why? No reason at all, that's why. She'd been doing the job for nearly six months, having worked there previously in another job before a six week break, was well liked by everybody and was a hard worker. However, due to the complicated circumstances in which she obtained the job (nothing underhand by her I might add), she has now been fired. The cruellest thing is that she knew her job was to be advertised and even helped write her own job description for the advert because she was assured by our manager and the Personnel Officer that her job was safe and that these were all just "formalities". She was even interviewed for the job! They knew only too fucking well that they had someone else lined up for the position but they lied through their teeth the lying,scheming, two-faced bastards!! Now my girlfriend has been forced out of a job she loved, through no fault of her own with a mortgage and three kids to support. British employment laws suck because companies over here can legally fire someone within twelve months of their hiring for any reason and with very little right of redress. Don't you just love this country? Oh yeah, and the weather stinks, too!! Hope you don't mind me venting my spleen here but if I don' I am likely to do something I will regret and get the sack myself. Far away is close at hand in images of elsewhere.

This looks a little odd. If you look closely the bomb and its cradle, they don't appear to be sitting centrally on the forks. Unless the bomb was extremely front heavy I doubt they would have been able to lift it of the ground in the first place without it tipping off the side. But then I know nothing about bombs