Twoply
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Everything posted by Twoply
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My desired ringtone
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Nobody I know has this
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I have a wave sound file that I'd like to make my ringtone on my nextel 860. I'm having a hell of a time figuring out how to get it over to my phone. I've tried sending it over via email but it bounces it back. Any ideas?
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You know, those pills that help stop flatulence? I'm going to slip some to my wife. It's disgusting.
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Newborn screaming, 3 year old vomiting in bed at the smell of new sheets. Supposed to be at our bi yearly poker game. No beer. It sucks, but we could be in much worse spots. I can still smile.
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I saw someone posting about the Powerball. I like to play the lotto and I love to pool a good bunch of people together to get a hundred tickets or so. Anyone want to do it? If everyone chips in it might be fun. I always thought of it as even if I have to split the 20 million with 40 people, that's still a lot more than I'd have without chipping in $5. Pm's if you like!
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I've been holding my daughter for the last hour or so, She's still got the hiccups and they piss her off. When a newborn gets pissed they cry incessantly. Leads me to the question as to what the f**k are hiccups good for? I've heard they are an evolved way to throw up, that they are sparatic contractions of the diaghram. My son just threw up three times all over his bed and on each new set of sheets that I put on his bed. I was supposed to be at a poker game at 8pm. Thats not happening tonight. And I hve no beer cause I was going to pick it up on the way to the game! Fatherhood! What the hell?!
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1267 miles. Her p***y was so good, if you threw it in the air, it would turn into sunshine. Small quote from Harlem nights there but it was true.
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My mom calls hot dogs weiners. "Michael, do you want a weiner?" When I was really small, I heard the word fellacio. (sp) I asked my mom what it meant. She said "Oral sex" uncomfortably. I still didnt know what that meant. I didnt ask though
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I had a conversation with a friend of mine about smoking too much at once. I'm talking about smoking so much that I have to go lay down or just being way too stoned. He and his wife could not understand what I was talking about. They said they had never had that happen to them and they chain smoke for hours at a time. Does this happen to anyone else or am I a lightweight?
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Usually involved porking somebody.
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Taste I guess. I'm pretty sure it's a sense. I'd be able to drink bourbon without shaking afterwards.
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Some idiot at work asked me to be his best man. I hate the whole dressing up and ruining a weekend thing so I told him no. He got all upset and didn't babble on all day about all the same old boring shit that he usually does. It turned out to be a very peaceful day at work.
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I like boobs. My wife has little girl boobies. We giggle about them.
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So far listening to a screaming baby seems to be working for my wife.
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The only thing that really bothers me is when people confuse "too" with "two." That and what really astonishes me is the the magnitude of people who don't know how and when to use an apostrophe to show ownership, or represent missing letters. Those too guy's are going to the store.
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Where does it come from? I wash my jeans in a typical washer and hang dry them. I never put them in a dryer because my jeans fit perfectly on my muscular thighs, and the dryer shrinks them just a little too tight. Now that may be attractive to some ladies, but remember, I am with woman. Pm me all you want to try and get laminated copies of me in the shower, but I don't sell them anymore. I already paid for my house with them so I halted their distribution. Besides, I'm grow weary of changing my phone numbers to hide from the booty calls only to have someone leak it out again to what only could be described as "gangs" of women It's almost dull anymore. Thanks Mike
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I'd like to hear about it if you wouldnt mind.
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I'm just brainstorming on some career paths. I wanted to see if anyone on here was one to get an opinion on it. Do you have knowledge of the subject?
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Any home inspectors here? I have a few questions about the business. Thanks as always Mike
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a big bucket of herpes?
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(reads the latest post, quietly takes another swig from the mason's jar, loads another round in the 12 gauge, and whispers to himself "Fuckers...")
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(rolls his eyes)
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Percentages people. I was talking about percentages.
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If and when I want to sell my little business, I wonder how much of it will get eaten up by taxes. I've cold called and built the accounts, installed the equiptment and have been servicing them for ayear or so. If I sell it off, what should I be expecting to lose to taxes? Aside from the equipment, it's all just profit from getting it all going. Thanks as always guys Mike