Twoply

I was giving our 9 week old a bath last night when I hear my wife in another room tell our 2 year old to "Go show Daddy." He comes up to the bathroom holding his hand out like it's diseased and asked me "Whats that?" I see some stuff on his fingers and I made a determination it was oatmeal so I reached down and kinda wiped it all off his hand with one of mine just in time to get a whiff of the poop that I now had on my hand. I yell to the wife to get up here and let me finish off the baby while my son thinks his hand is clean starts to head off to play. My wife is laughing as she approaches and finishes off the baby for me as I run a bath for Mr Hand-o-poop. He loves babths so gets really excited and starts twirling around and, as if on purpose, smears what's left on his hand right across my upperlip and cheek. My wife starts howling laughing. I begin to dry heave. The rest of the night was uneventful but I've shaved twice now.

I know how many I've had. I started counting in the 4th grade I've used 30 to date including one I lost when my luggage was lost.

Isnt there some kind of way a person can quickly determine how many days are in each month when I dont have a calender handy? I remember something about the knuckles on your hand...?

I posted this a long time ago and got excellent leads to other cool websites that I never knew of. Post some of your favorites! If any of your websites involve nude men in erotic positions, you can keep that to yourself. Oh hell, post it and give the ladies some entertainment too!

Hijacker!

Do I see another A in the backround? Ones that close together are usually AM, in my experience. Definitely looks like a warning though.

Which sheeting is the standard anymore for building countertops? I've used high density particle board in the past, but whats the deal with the brown mdf stuff? Looks like more of a fiberous paper rather than finely milled wood. Whats that used for? Thanks

What's the difference? Kinda like Coke and Pepsi to me.

I saw a quick commercial about a tv show where they find people who are unrelated and look identical. Does anyone look like me? Hint: I'm the bigger one. The other one is my son. He's a great little guy. He puts his finger in his ear when he's really tired and I was making fun of him. Therapy

Your woman says "No, just go ahead. Tonight it's just for you." 35 seconds and then I'm off to sleep!

I have a very modest but yet healthy weiner. I've never been told it's too big. I take pride in that.

I have a friend who's wife looks just like her. I had a dream a little while ago that I was laying on my back sleeping and she came over and started performing oral sex on me thinking I was her husband. I told her about it in real life at a party and she became aroused.

I wonder how many kidnappings happen a year that a ransom gets paid an then the person returned. You dont hear about them.

Can anyone send this mp3 to me? Bitlord crashed my computer too many times now.

I remember when I was younger I told someone that I'll know I'm old when I won't go somewhere just because the traffic is bad. Years later I purposely dictate a lot of my schedule to avoid the major rush hour traffic. I think it's funny to hear some of the "wisdom" that comes out of my 19 year old apprentice at work. "Jesus, you went to bed at 9 oclock?! And slept all the way until 5am?!" I remember looking at a Skydiving magazine cover shot with a base jumper right after exit and thinking "What the hell is the thrill in that?"

You're one of those people. edit to add my little smiley face

When you post something to get it off your chest, and some smartass says something to the fact of "Suck it up" or regards it as whining. I'm not posting to ask for sympathy, it's to vent, dumbass.

Either is fine as long as it's gentle and with direct eye contact

If you haven't, dump that one. It's not going to get better in any way. Why carry a boat anchor?

...I pork your sister when you're not here.

As a carpenter working for a demolition outfit, I get to do some really cool jobs. I've been there for 14 years and anymore they are few and far between. The last interesting thing I got to do was layout the back half of a building to cut all the structure and mechancal for a large addition. But mostly it's just mundane boring handrails and scaffolding. I really want to leave and go work for a locksmith or move over into larger scale supervision. I like the company I'm with and they treat me very well, it's just the job that's no longer stimulating. And I'm getting sick of working with convicts and ignorant people. I'm wondering if everyone else in the working world gets bored with work or is it time to move on? I'm wondering if this is the way it is with everyone? Are there ignorant people in every working field or is it just in construction? Something interesting every now and then and then periods of boredom? I'm thinking so just need to hear it I guess. I've decided to try to let work be work and let it just finance my jumping but it still kind of kills me to let 8 hours of my day go and not feel as though I'm supposed to be doing something better.

Ok I got them back out. I'm going to get this and be the king of kid's parties.

I did the self teaching thing too. I made my own juggling clubs but I fizzled out after about a few weeks of not getting it. How long did it take to get the 3 clubs down?

That is absolutely fascinating to me know you drew that by hand. I can design and build some really elaborate architecture but being able to draw like that blows me away. How neat.

My woman and I disagree on this. She thinks brownies are chocolate flavored. I always thought brownies were their own little classification like peanut butter. Are they a chocolate flavored food or are they a fudge? I've heard of fudge brownies and chocolate chip brownies so this leads me down a confusing road.