CrazyThomas

nothing good to say

Pride? I lost that along time ago. besides, I do care about my pack jobs (contrary to popular belief). this whole thread is about someone else packing for you. I don't think that a person takes too much pride or responsibility when they skydive if they have someone else pack for them. sure, call me an asshole. maybe it is because I can't afford to pay someone to pack for me. except, if I ask you to freepack my canopy, would you know what the hell a tail gate is, or what lines to put it on? and would you be at the exit, telling me that it will open on heading. seriously, any packers want to try their 7min wonder jobs when there is no reserve present? Might make you slow down to the "non-profit" speed. and that is another reason "skydiving" belongs in the joke threads. it is a joke. I can't believe people take it so seriously. oh...boo-hoo...I might have a reserve ride. yeah, but you would get a better rush out of a malfunction. Thomas and if you're gonna spin in, better be over water

Why doesn't Idaho have a beauty pageant? Nobody wants to be named "Miss Idaho" How do you fit 4 gay guys on a bar stool? Turn it upside down. What do you call a man with no arms or legs that is at your front door? Matt How about that same guy in a pile of leaves? Rustle Thomas

you didn't want to pull out the genie my dear 3 guys are fishing in a boat. A black, a white, and a mexican. Floating along comes a bottle. One of the men pick it up and rubs it to dry it off. Out pops a genie. "I will grant each of you one wish", states the genie. The three men discuss who gets to wish first, and finally decide to let the black man decide first. The black man says "I wish to be back home in Africa, with all my brothers and sisters, free from this opression" And poof! the black guy dissappears. The genie turns to the mexican and says, "Your turn" The mexican says "I wish to be back in mexico with all my brothers and sisters." and poof! the mexican dissappears. So the genie turns to the white, and says "OK, your last. What is your one wish?" And the white guy thinks a bit, and scratches his head. He looks at the genie and asks "You are telling me that all the blacks are back in africa, and all the mexicans are back in mexico?" "Yes" says the genie. "And any wish you want, I will grant. What is your wish?" And the white guy says "How about a beer?" Thomas

what else..... What do you know about a blonde woman with black and blue bruises all over her stomach? She has a blonde boyfriend. A blonde and a brunette fell off a building. Which one hits first? The brunette. The blonde has to stop and ask directions. Thomas

Wow! you offended yourself? Last time I did that, I was looking in a mirror. But really, I think Erno has a good discussion here. When is a joke over the line, and why? Just because it is bad taste, or just because it is personal to someone? or still too fresh too joke about? Like the 3 year rule. after 3 years, it becomes OK to laugh at it. Thomas

Why do women have legs? So they don't leave a slime trail everywhere they go. What was the woman doing in the living room? That's besides the point. What was the bitch doing out of the kitchen? What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you already told her twice. Thomas

Make sure it is a clean needle please. How do you fit 100 jews into a volkswagon? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back seat, and the other 95 in the ash tray. Why is money green? Because the jews picked it too early. How do you stop a black kid from jumping up and down on the bed? Put velcro on the ceiling. How do you get him down? Invite some mexicans over and tell them it is a pinata party. Thomas

This is the thread where you are supposed to put your offensive jokes Suz. Have any more? and specially for the blonde types... What do a blonde and a screen door have in common? The harder you slam them, the looser they get. Why do woman like hunters? They go deep into the bush, and they always eat what they shoot. Thomas

I would guess a spellchecker. After all, it seems to really piss people off when someone spells a word wrong. Thomas

What are those things? Thomas

What? why not? we already have people capitalizing on the fear aspect of it. Seriously...selling parachutes for people to jump from buildings with. As if a parachute will withstand the FLAMES present, go ahead and try. That way, when people do this, and fail, the families will have some legal kickbacks. Sue the company. That is why daddy died. Not because he fell 80 stories, but because the parachute burned. If only they would have made flame retardant parachutes that operate in those conditions....where's my money? What better marketing tactic then fear? If you don't want to die early, BUY my product. damn, I should have gone for a marketing degree instead. Disabilities? Thanks, I'll try that next. Thomas

Do you offer to pay for injuries incurred during hard openings? There's a tougher politics question. What liability (U.S. favorite lawsuit word) does the packer have? After all, if they aren't jumping it, why would they care about the opening? Faster = $$$ how did the phrase go? Thomas

Good question Erno. Everything is offensive to someone. The trick is not offending the people (greenies) who control what can and cannot be said. But, if you were to be at "my house", you could tell whatever jokes you wanted. Since this is not "my house", nor is this a democracy, I am not sure which jokes will get locks and which ones won't. We could do an experiment and find out though...if you were so inclined. I'd start my list like this. 1 Race jokes 2 Sexuality jokes 3 Death jokes 4 Gender jokes Any other offensive categories I am missing out? I'll wander over to the BAD joke thread and give a few a whirl. Peace, Thomas

For someone nice, for someone nice, Why did I just say that twice? Your conversation, and pretty smile, I wish happiness, to stay awhile. Everyone else can go fuck themselves, I file their shit, on my shelves. Enjoy a day, and have some fun. To know that there is a number one. Wish I were able to see, Someone out there, is just for me. I'm not ready, I can't be dying. Uphill struggle, I keep trying. Even if when you are feeling blue, I am here, to talk to you!!

if you fuck up and die, everyone has a right to laugh at you. sorry, that's the way it is. Maybe it is more motivation not to fuck up. GOOD. Make sure you don't do something stupid, and the problem is solved. if you fuck up, why should we not have the right to laugh at you? You did fuck up after all. If we laugh at your stupidity, it motivates you not to be stupid. If you choose not to report it, that is your own choice. Why worry about what people are going to do AFTER the fact? Just make sure that doesn't occur. I heard this once..... An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. You always have the right NOT TO READ ABOUT IT if you get offended and upset about incident reports. Better to ask a stupid question, than to remain stupid by not asking....or so I heard. just a stupid person rambling of course.... Thomas

Ahhh... that 'splains it. Guess I should actually read it now so I can semi-intelligently comment on it... Don't strain yourself. No offense meant by that. Maybe you could try answering these: Will Petronas go smoothly/at all this year? And which of these people in the above post are you most likely to believe? Ever met any of them? Peace, Thomas I guess I was wrong again. good thing I am thought of as a "dribbled basketball" of a child. I am just glad that noone took me serious enough to not go. Then I would have really been the asshole Oh well, live and learn. And if you think I copied and pasted this from another website, I will allow you to judge yourself correct. See, my problem is I know how to be good ground crew. [police] name the others, or you go to jail![/police] CrazyThomas: Noone else. Just me. take me away, and make sure my cell has a bible. [police]you have the right to remain silent. anything you say, can and will be used against you, even on an internet posting board.[/police] This gets into a BASE topic, but just how far does ground crew go to protect the jumpers? I'd go to jail to protect my friends, and not give out names. Good thing I don't have any friends, right? Thomas

well see, this just proves my point. I am wrong from time to time. let's take another look, shall we. I can PW with the best of em, if I want. Thomas

Leave it to a typical "skydiver" to say something like that. sex...jump...sex...jump....boobies...jump....sex...jump There, do I fit in with the "normal" crowd yet? Thomas

well, I could be wrong here, as I have been before. BUT; if you are marrying an american citizen, then you become a citizen when you marry. Therefore, you would not need to worry about the visa and H-1B stamp bullshit. You would be an american tourist on vacation in mexico. Problem solved if this is correct, I think. Of course, I have been wrong before. I would talk to someone who knows more about this, or read up on "How to Gain Citizenship" documents. maybe helps, Thomas

Sounds like Cortisone. Remember south park's lessons though: "Drugs are bad, mmmmKay" I hope your shoulder gets better SB. Peace, Thomas

Yeah, I guess so. You force me to with statements like this: I thought I had covered my ass with all my stupid statements that came before this. Do I have to start putting disclaimers back on my posts? Can't we all just disregard CrazyThomas, and consider whatever he writes to be udder crap? All I really do is haphazardly guess at things, and really I don't know Jack Shit. I know a Mr. Off, but not a Mr. Shit. Maybe I need to show you the video of me being dribbled like a basketball when I was still a baby? please don't say I had a good idea. I am only allowed one good idea per month, and I have already used 3 up. So, I'm waiting for April to come around. Peace, Thomas

Just make sure you never go into a doctor's office when you are feeling sad. How much do I tell my doctor? Only as much as I need to tell him to get me out of his office, or the psych ward. Thomas

How can you tell that God is an engineer? Who else would put the recreation area so close to the septic system? Thomas

And why does this differ from USPA? USPA seems to certify MOST dropzones. Although not all of them. [arguing voice] But THOMAS, what do you know?[/arguing voice] Never mind. NSA is cool. Or were we all agreeing to NOT like them? Whatever the group thinks, that is my decision. Agreeing like a sheep, one BAAA-AAAA-D idea at a time. Thomas here's my bone to pick wit' em. Because that IS the only place to skydive in MT. You gotta be friggin kiddin' me. Just like USPA has done for many years.