yardhippie

Sweet! Now I have other fun things I can throw at mine too! Goddam dirty hippies piss me off! ~GFD "What do I get for closing your rig?" ~ me "Anything you want." ~ female skydiver Mohoso Rodriguez #865

NO! You have a wife, she can support you while you watch baseball and eat BBQ! now go tell her this on her birthday! Goddam dirty hippies piss me off! ~GFD "What do I get for closing your rig?" ~ me "Anything you want." ~ female skydiver Mohoso Rodriguez #865

So I may be a repost, and it is NOT pc, but hey I chuckled. Eight sure-fire ways to tell if you are gay... 1. If you are over thirty and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet. 2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog, but gay - it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog... "Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here, Killer!" Now think about how you call a cat..."Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!" Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed, you're so gay. 3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on bar-b-que ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled pigs feet, or tits. Anything else and you are in training to suck El Dicko and undeniably a fag. 4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his bathroom; he defecates and urinates where he pleases. 5. If you drink decaf coffee with skim milk, you like a high hard one in the poop chute. Coffee is to be had strong, black, and full aroma. A straight man will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Cafe Latte with Skim" and he will never, ever know what artificial sweetener tastes like. If you've had NutraSweet in your mouth, you've had a man there, too. 6. If you know more than six names of colors or four different types of dessert, you might as well be handing out free passes to your ass. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap as well as all the names of all the players in the Major league, NFL, NBA, college ball, PGA and NASCAR. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a "fressier" is you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than denim, you are faggadocious. 7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-ass driver or to cut the punk off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, hold his beer, or play with his bitch in the passenger seat. 8. If you enjoy romantic comedies or French films, mon-frere, vous le Gay, oui? The only time it is acceptable to watch one of those is with a woman who knows how to reward her man. Watching any of the above films by yourself or with another man is likely to result in SHC (spontaneous homosexual combustion), which is what happens to fags when they flame out too quickly. Goddam dirty hippies piss me off! ~GFD "What do I get for closing your rig?" ~ me "Anything you want." ~ female skydiver Mohoso Rodriguez #865

hells yea! and we are SO LUCKY we had Hottie there to make sure we all went home, because other than tired I feel pretty good today. If it werent for her, I'd be calling someone for bail money this morning! Goddam dirty hippies piss me off! ~GFD "What do I get for closing your rig?" ~ me "Anything you want." ~ female skydiver Mohoso Rodriguez #865

whats the question? Goddam dirty hippies piss me off! ~GFD "What do I get for closing your rig?" ~ me "Anything you want." ~ female skydiver Mohoso Rodriguez #865

Well it is right now while I am over here posting FLUFF does that make you a FLUFFER? Goddam dirty hippies piss me off! ~GFD "What do I get for closing your rig?" ~ me "Anything you want." ~ female skydiver Mohoso Rodriguez #865

Just me. You dont like anyone. Goddam dirty hippies piss me off! ~GFD "What do I get for closing your rig?" ~ me "Anything you want." ~ female skydiver Mohoso Rodriguez #865

Oh, sorry, I didnt mean to use a word with more than 4 letters in it! advanced? progressive? easy going? bah! tullahoma, mullins will be there. are you actually going to the farm this weekend? Goddam dirty hippies piss me off! ~GFD "What do I get for closing your rig?" ~ me "Anything you want." ~ female skydiver Mohoso Rodriguez #865

not everyone is evolved as you skinny! Goddam dirty hippies piss me off! ~GFD "What do I get for closing your rig?" ~ me "Anything you want." ~ female skydiver Mohoso Rodriguez #865

id rather not know. cuz then I'd be just a fucked up as you. and NOBODY wants that! Goddam dirty hippies piss me off! ~GFD "What do I get for closing your rig?" ~ me "Anything you want." ~ female skydiver Mohoso Rodriguez #865

I second that motion!

Of all my personalities.. Only 2 or 3 are fake. At least you KNOW which ones are fake. I just make this shit up as I go... Goddam dirty hippies piss me off! ~GFD "What do I get for closing your rig?" ~ me "Anything you want." ~ female skydiver Mohoso Rodriguez #865

She stole my answer! I don't like her. I'm going to make my disdain known. there will be no disdain at the game tonight! Goddam dirty hippies piss me off! ~GFD "What do I get for closing your rig?" ~ me "Anything you want." ~ female skydiver Mohoso Rodriguez #865

That explains it... You were traumatized as a kid. I'd be fucked up too! Goddam dirty hippies piss me off! ~GFD "What do I get for closing your rig?" ~ me "Anything you want." ~ female skydiver Mohoso Rodriguez #865

She also likes to spank the bad ones. im looking forward to being really bad!

Hey.. if she stalks you and you stalk me... Can I stalk her?? Gotta have the circle complete!! now youre just dreaming! Group stalking? Goddam dirty hippies piss me off! ~GFD "What do I get for closing your rig?" ~ me "Anything you want." ~ female skydiver Mohoso Rodriguez #865

Oh geez---all the men will be disliking Rebecca any minute now, as long as you promise the above statement to be true and followed through Oh yea. I hate her now! Goddam dirty hippies piss me off! ~GFD "What do I get for closing your rig?" ~ me "Anything you want." ~ female skydiver Mohoso Rodriguez #865

You're so wrong! I always hated you! Goddamn dirty hippies! Sweet, I was worried you might have been stalking me for the wrong reasons! I'll bet you cant wait for all that hippie smell at that music bone of yours! Goddam dirty hippies piss me off! ~GFD "What do I get for closing your rig?" ~ me "Anything you want." ~ female skydiver Mohoso Rodriguez #865

Im a lesbian trapped in a mans body. I think thats about as close as one can get! I'd have to get permission first though... Goddam dirty hippies piss me off! ~GFD "What do I get for closing your rig?" ~ me "Anything you want." ~ female skydiver Mohoso Rodriguez #865

nope, that came with the cruise control, and I just didnt see the need for cruise control... Goddam dirty hippies piss me off! ~GFD "What do I get for closing your rig?" ~ me "Anything you want." ~ female skydiver Mohoso Rodriguez #865

yes. very yes baby. Goddam dirty hippies piss me off! ~GFD "What do I get for closing your rig?" ~ me "Anything you want." ~ female skydiver Mohoso Rodriguez #865

Coming from me that is actually a sign of affection...kinda like a little boy punching a little girl on the arm at the playground. Will you pull my pigtails too. I love pigtails. If funks does not want to pull them, I will. make her walk in front of the wagon. use her pigtails like reigns! Goddam dirty hippies piss me off! ~GFD "What do I get for closing your rig?" ~ me "Anything you want." ~ female skydiver Mohoso Rodriguez #865

Oh Damn! You would have to post that. My luck, my ex will see it and I'll get a nastygram bitching me out because hers didn't have the electric start. I bought mine a Massey Ferguson (same as Simplicity) 18hp, electric start, 38" cut, hydrostat, electric PTO, with a striping kit for her b-day last year. Now I live in a place you cant even turn the thing around in the yard. Goddam dirty hippies piss me off! ~GFD "What do I get for closing your rig?" ~ me "Anything you want." ~ female skydiver Mohoso Rodriguez #865

She also likes to spank the bad ones. im looking forward to being really bad!

Someone remember that on this day, Andrea said she needed more woman! Goddam dirty hippies piss me off! ~GFD "What do I get for closing your rig?" ~ me "Anything you want." ~ female skydiver Mohoso Rodriguez #865