jraf

Right on dude! You just forgot to add, that we will stop at the beer barn, get wasted to make the next malfunction more spectacular jraf Me Jungleman! Me have large Babalui. Muff #3275

That was just excellent adivice written obviously by top notch paratroopers from the Albanian Armored Bicycle Brigade. I have a few more points to add. Please feel free to comment: Signal malfunction with both hands and legs as well as by shouting: HEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!!!! Flap your hands the way birds do with their wings and try to chase the aeroplane Once you have reached the aeroplane, knock on pilots window to signal you are entering. If you don't do so, you may be considered a stowaway and dumped overboard again. If you can not chase plane down, position yourself in a sit fly and fart ferrociously. The created drag should allow for a gentle landing. (Remark: eating beans and chillis before jumping helps) If above does not work clasp your hand together and say" Hail Mary..." REMEMBER: The situation might be hopeless, but it definitely is not serious jraf Me Jungleman! Me have large Babalui. Muff #3275

Clay, you are the man! A pink cadillac eldorado convertible with white leather interior. The pink shirt with a colar all the way to my elbows. Side burns all the way to my jaw. The shirt open on my chest. A heavy gold chain with the peace symbol. a red bandana on the neck. Purple bell bottom pants. Platform shoes with little fish tanks in the heels. 3 big hair '70 style airline hostess babes in the wheels. Cruisin' music blastin', groovin' brither, groovin' BeeGees all the way. Disco lights on Friday nights! Yeah! jraf Me Jungleman! Me have large Babalui. Muff #3275

Hey girl, take me with you. I was fired from my executive job at a big company a couple of months ago. Its great! Get a camper trailer - a got a mean V8 with a towing hook. Let's hit the road. You do the dishes, I'll cook or the other way around. I don't care jraf Me Jungleman! Me have large Babalui. Muff #3275

Yeah, Sister, you would not have to be all paranoid about AIDS if we had the late '60s/early '70s again. We could just ban it. So you would not have to ask when you will get it . You would just walk out of one of the VW vans in the convoy at a small gas station, walk up to the guy with a hairy chest pumping gas into his pink cadillac and you'd say "C'mon babe, make love to me. Now!" and it would be all ok jraf Me Jungleman! Me have large Babalui. Muff #3275

Yeah man! and the bell bottom trousers, we could have these again. But the coolest thing would be to have the VW van with the devided windshield and roof you could raise to make it a camper. It has to be painted all over with floral accents and Peace signs - a rolling party mobile on the road with a comvoy of other free thinkers going from boogie to boogie obeying the rules of the sun and the stars jraf Me Jungleman! Me have large Babalui. Muff #3275

Clay, repent! Hippies and skydivers don't wear poliester. Asside of the canopies of course. Imagine free love. Perpetual burning man festivals. Pink and purple everywhere. Disco music. The Doors reincarnated. Two girls for every guy (remember that song) Muscle cars (like my Dad's GTO) We could disband the FAA. We could force DeHavilland to start producing Otters again. Life would be one ever lasting orgy, a perpetual Cheech and Chong movie...... jraf Me Jungleman! Me have large Babalui. Muff #3275

The development of the Oh! Calcutta concept is a serious and highly political matter. A lot of international relations and inter governmental agreements. I will reffer you to two threads one billvon's "India 2005" where I have proposed the bulldozing of amongs others the city of Calcutta. The other thread is jtval's "Why is is hard to be me" where I have proposed to import Norwegian lesbians. Having read the above you can understand the Oh! Calcutta sin city concept. After establishing all the theaters playin frivolous musical I wish to propose importing the Norwegian lesbians who feed me grapes and know how to sing. This way after taking off of the bulldozed runway at the end of the Indian sub continent in the Austin Powers Love 747 modified with a rear ramp to suit our needs, we (skydivers of both genders) could indulge in sin for the duration of the flight. The DZ would be ta Calcutta, where after completing our skydive the said Norwegian lesbians would feed me grapes while singing. Of course boys and girls as well as animals and toys (this draws on the thread where a poor woman asks when she will get it) will be supplied to each skydiver at his convenience and preference. Shrooms and hydroponic weed will be disrtibuted by large breasted female ex financial analysts and credit officers from American Express. Free love will reign again. It will be the seventies all over -wheeeeeeeeeeeeee! jraf Me Jungleman! Me have large Babalui. Muff #3275

Yes agreed, but that requires a development of the Oh! Calcutta concept jraf Me Jungleman! Me have large Babalui. Muff #3275

Well that's the point. I thought you guys might appreciate my reply to him. My sybillic prediction of the future supports both the economy and world peace jraf Me Jungleman! Me have large Babalui. Muff #3275

..support billvon with his India 2005 post. I wrote a cool reply and nobody want's to read it now. What do you think of it? jraf Me Jungleman! Me have large Babalui. Muff #3275

I like simple solutions. They are the best. So in order to support the national economy we should purchase a bunch of superbuldozers from John Deere. We put them side by side on the Paki border. A trumpeteer play the cavalry atack tune. The bulldozers start going sounthwards. After reaching the southern most tip of what used to be India nad Pakistan they buldozr the gathered material into a huge runway. Now a problem arizes: What to we do with all the flatland. Well, technological advances and global entertainment have the aswer ready. First of Universal, Disney and Busch Gradens build theme parks. Workers form all over the world are employed at reconstructing the Himalaya. This time they build a super fast elevator into the nothern wall of the K2. Trump redesigns the Taj Mahal from now on called the Taj Trump. New Dehli will now become the New York Deli with the best Ruben sandwich served with home made fries. Pakistan will be the new winter training camp for the Green Bay Packers. Calcutta will be a grand street of theaters with the '70s musical "Oh, Calcutta" with all it's nudity featured every morning. The southern most tip of the Indian sub continent with the buldozed runway will become the Starfleet Command center. A replica of the Golden Gate Bridge will be built between the runway and Sri Lanka in order to comply with the reality of the movies. The locals of Sri Lanka including the Tamil tigers will be stripped of lethal weapons and issued paint ball guns. Sri Lanka wil become a world class resort for Xtreme Tours. Paintball balltles will be the main feature. Since all the locals will have been bulldozed into the Indian Ocean, a fresh supply of Pakistanis will be repatriated from the UK and the Indians will come from IBM and America Express in New Jersey. After all theme parks need some locals, but the must be tamed. This solution will rid the world not only of Musharaf, Hussein but also of the Ghandi clan, the Bhuttos, the memory of Mother Theresa and the idea of sacred cows, as these will be processed into burgers. The only thing we need to fear is the Borg. I am Captain Kirk. My crew has revolted and sent me back in time as they did not want to film Star Treck XXIV. I know what the future is. Beware! jraf Me Jungleman! Me have large Babalui. Muff #3275

Because I want to spend the rest of my life surrounded by Norwegian lesbians who feed me grapes and know how to sing. The only problem is the import duties. I live in Florida. jraf Me Jungleman! Me have large Babalui. Muff #3275

Green, Clay, green. jraf Me Jungleman! Me have large Babalui. Muff #3275

Erno, the Finnish Military Defence Forces is the biggest euphemism I have ever heard in my life. It is an ARMY. It has GUNS, and TANKS, and FIGHTER planes. Your grandfathers have proven that in 1940 as they kicked (and yes they did, given the balance of forces) Joe Stalin's butt. Call it an ARMY. Please. jraf Me Jungleman! Me have large Babalui. Muff #3275

...I have a very hard shell outside and a very soft inside. jraf Me Jungleman! Me have large Babalui. Muff #3275

Not a very creative little bugger, is he? Send him to where he belongs - eternal damnation! jraf Me Jungleman! Me have large Babalui. Muff #3275

You are a GOOD MAN! You can work in my town anytime. I know of people in your profession, who would have let him die. They are the scum of the Earth. Once again you are a good man. Well, than again what am I to expect from a fellow skydiver jraf Me Jungleman! Me have large Babalui. Muff #3275

Ramonito, you got the hang of it. And as long as the smart ones are telling them what to do I am a happy camper. jraf Me Jungleman! Me have large Babalui. Muff #3275

Man, if you live in Florida the showers you take tend to be ice cold. It's hot enough outside. Christ, it's hard to sleep in a tent because of the temterature. Even in my apartment with the AC working like money went out of style I have not taken a hot shower in the last 6 months jraf Me Jungleman! Me have large Babalui. Muff #3275

Something more dramatic you say. Well take her golfing on a stormy day, tie a whole bunch of irons to her and leave her there to be thunderstruck. Need to make friends with your local metheorologist though. You can also always find a large ant hill in a remote wody area, smear her with honey and tie her to a nearby tree. Three days later there are only bones left and the cause of death remains unknown. All that given that you untie her afterwords. jraf Me Jungleman! Me have large Babalui. Muff #3275

Xanadu - that must be where I live as the coffee is always strong and aromatic (made in a french press - the measue is a highly sophisticated optic device called the human eye), the breakfast allways has fresh cold cuts, cheeses and good organic bread and the shower is always the temperature I desire. And it is a good start in the morning. Now depending on my mood there is also a wide selection of music to suit my sunrise temperament du jour. But honestly - sleep all the way to 13,500, dive exit out of the Otter a barrel roll and front and backflips on the way down, a small line twist and a good landing - you're set for the day! jraf Me Jungleman! Me have large Babalui. Muff #3275

Well licensing certifies that you can jump as you have a certain knowledge of skydiving. If you are not licensed the club is liable for what may happen to you. USPA is the licensing body. If you come off the street without your USPA license it is extremely unlikely that you will be allowed to jump. jraf Me Jungleman! Me have large Babalui. Muff #3275

ZHills is definitely closest to the hearts of freethinkers. It is about an hour's drive from Orlando and sports an ecclectic crowd of people. Extremely friendly. Great place to jump, great place to hang out. Best pilots available. I did my AFF there and made it my home DZ. Some will claim that Deland is closer, but they are agents of an evil power jraf Me Jungleman! Me have large Babalui. Muff #3275

My ma has to live with a wide variety of ideas my brothers and I come up with. One of the favourites was speleology. Body rafting. Canyonning. Rock climbing. Mountaineering. Bungee jumping (childs play, I used to own and operate a bungee venture), bunker chasing etc. etc. etc. So this is just a new one. jraf Me Jungleman! Me have large Babalui. Muff #3275