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WHY WE LOVE CHILDREN A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat. She asked him if it was dead or alive. "Dead." She was informed. "How do you know?"she asked her pupil. "Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently. "You did WHAT?!?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise. "You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move." _________________________________________________ A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later.... "Da-ad...." "What? "I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?" "No. You had your chance. Lights out." Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad....." "WHAT?" "I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??" "I told you NO!" If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!" Five minutes later...... "Daaaa-aaaad....." "WHAT!" "When you come in to spank me, can! you bring a drink of water?" ________________________________________________ An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, "How do you expect to get into Heaven?" The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in an out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'" _________________________________________________ One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?" The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room." A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy." _________________________________________________ It was that time, during ! the Sunday morning service, for the children's sermon. All the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?" The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone, "Yes, and my Mom says it's a bitch to iron." _________________________________________________ When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower. She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!" I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy" "I know," she replied, but what's growing in your butt?" ________________________________________________ A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus si! x, that son of a bitch is nine...." His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?" The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom." "And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked. "Yes," he answered. Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in math?" The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition." The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?" After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four." _________________________________________________ One day a teacher read the story Chicken Little her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!"! The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?" One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said: 'Holy Shit! A talking chicken!'" The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes. I'm not afriad of dying, I'm afraid of never really living- Erin Engle

Hooray Sex... Hooray fast cars... Hooray beer! I'm not afriad of dying, I'm afraid of never really living- Erin Engle

Finally...........there is a reason for the strange designation given to > bra sizes: > > Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E and F are the letters used > to define bra sizes? > > If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters > stood for, here is the answer... > > A - Almost Boobs... > B - Boobs. > C - Can't Complain! > D - Damn! > DD - Double damn! > E - Enormous! > F - Fake I'm not afriad of dying, I'm afraid of never really living- Erin Engle

I just want to know about the women I'm not afriad of dying, I'm afraid of never really living- Erin Engle

And when does the tour leave? I'm not afriad of dying, I'm afraid of never really living- Erin Engle

Only if while in costume I can sit at the bar, get smashed and scare the sh#@ out of the waiting passengers. hehehe I'm not afriad of dying, I'm afraid of never really living- Erin Engle

How long before rumor takes hold as the truth? Kind of like in the American south, pre Civil War that there were no Afican-American slave owners. Things like this thread are contagious. I'm not afriad of dying, I'm afraid of never really living- Erin Engle

One of my buds is down in FL for flight training in the Corps and was telling me that the USMC is looking into putting a stronger engine in and quad blades on both the huey and the cobra, bad ass. I'm not afriad of dying, I'm afraid of never really living- Erin Engle

there is Violence, sex, nudity swearing Mikey, I think he likes it. I'm not afriad of dying, I'm afraid of never really living- Erin Engle

Viking, we need to go, we could be like RICH FILTHY STINKING RICH... and get to see nekkidness on mainstream TV. hehehehe I'm not afriad of dying, I'm afraid of never really living- Erin Engle

It seems that the US Marines are about the only ones that have figured out that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. When the US Army was busy bringing in the new era of helo's, the Blackhawk ( Crashhawk) and the Apache, which teh majority of that fleet type was ground for some time, the Marines were improving on combat proven platforms, the UH-1 Iriquois (Huey) and the Bell Cobra. Which are still some of the baddest birds in the sky. I'm not afriad of dying, I'm afraid of never really living- Erin Engle

The Marines do serve a purpose, even the Navy needs bell... whoops was that my out loud voice? I'm not afriad of dying, I'm afraid of never really living- Erin Engle

Let the kicking begin, third shift at work sux ass too. I'm not afriad of dying, I'm afraid of never really living- Erin Engle

2 wings? 2 engines? couple of tires? LETS FLY! ...uh no. I'm not afriad of dying, I'm afraid of never really living- Erin Engle

Isn't it all about the defence of the country? Oh wait i forgot the Airforce is more a Corparation than anything else *runs for cover* you are a brave brave man, *runs with Viking* I'm not afriad of dying, I'm afraid of never really living- Erin Engle

i think that I will wait, brand new rig is expensive enough here.

I like the way the flight controls are set up. I work in aviation maintenance and one of my good buddies used to be a crew cheif on the -16's and that is a badass little plane. I'm not afriad of dying, I'm afraid of never really living- Erin Engle

I hate to sound like the only one areound trying to blow sunshine up everyone's skirt, but if we did not have bad things, we would never really appreciate the good. Bad things happening serves a purpose, it makes us recognize the good. I'm not afriad of dying, I'm afraid of never really living- Erin Engle

This thread just keeps getting closer and closer to sounding really interesting, please keep this going for those of us scar... er smart enough to not joyride in a Boeing. I'm not afriad of dying, I'm afraid of never really living- Erin Engle

So like is the cost of living half way decent down there, or should I just bide my time for the good ole US of A to catch up with the rest of the civilized world? I'm not afriad of dying, I'm afraid of never really living- Erin Engle

Amy (my fiance) and I were friends for almost 5 years before we ever went out. We met during freshman orientation at college and we both had different college proirities. Then out of now where we both realize what was going on between us and next thing yuo know????? We had a lot of college friends give us the "I told you so" conversation I'm not afriad of dying, I'm afraid of never really living- Erin Engle

Did someone say nipples? We like nipples I'm not afriad of dying, I'm afraid of never really living- Erin Engle

Where do I sign up for the bus? I'm not afriad of dying, I'm afraid of never really living- Erin Engle

Censorship is the nice way of saying that the govenment does not trust its citizens enough to make educated descisions on what to view/read/say for themselves. It could also be viewed as our attempt to not be held responsible for making bad choices, allowing us to lay blame on someone else i.e. the US gov't. just a thought I'm not afriad of dying, I'm afraid of never really living- Erin Engle

Sometimes when yuo think that you are really that crazy for someone and can't tell them, all yuo need to do is get really drunk and call them at 2 in the morning... but seriously, sometimes when you take a step back and reevvaluate teh situation, you find that what you felt was not really love but more of a desire to be with the one that you had put in a pedalstal and made into a brass ring. Then you see that maybe they weren't quite the person that you thought you wnated and that the real love of your life was sitting right next to you, undiscovered. For all of you out there looking for the difining moment, that was mine... Well hello? Damn when did my future wife show up?