nigel99

Two deaf people get married. During the first week of marriage, they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom when they turn off the lights because they can't see each other using sign language. After several nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings, the wife decides to find a solution. "Honey," she signs, "Why don't we agree on some simple signals? For instance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach over and squeeze my left breast one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my right breast one time." The husband thinks this is a great idea and signs back to his wife, "Great idea, Now if you want to have sex with ME, reach over and pull on my p****s one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and pull on my p****s......fifty times." At a big cocktail party, an obstetrician’s wife noticed another guest, a big, over sexed blonde, was making overtures at her husband. It was a large, informal gathering, so she tried to laugh it off until she saw them disappear into a bedroom together. At once she rushed into the room, pulled the two apart and screamed, “Look lady! My husband just delivers babies, he doesn’t INSTALL them A guy applied to join a nudist club. "Exactly what do you do here?" he asked. "It's quite simple," said the club secretary, "We take off all our clothes and commune with nature." "Cool," said the guy, "...count me in!!!" So he paid his membership fee, took off his gear and strolled off. As he walked along a path, he saw a big sign which read, "Beware of Gays." A little further along he saw another sign which read the same thing "Beware of Gays." He continued walking until he came to a small clearing which had a bronze plaque set in the ground. He bent over to read the plaque and it said, "Sorry,... You've had two warnings!" Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.

Breaking news: Just heard on the Zimbabwean radio that South Africa has deployed troops to the Zimbabwean border. Unofficial election results show that Mugabe got hammered (unofficial results have been collated from the results posted outside polling stations). However the gov have waited >36 hours to start releasing results. Looking at Zim forums people are getting pretty angry - actually I have never seen so many death threats thrown around (and I thought SC was bad ) There have been a number of posts about children of the ruling elite who live in the US & UK who would be murdered if Mugabe "steals" the election. Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.

I don't think there was any paragliding in those days. AFAIK that sport started when people started using square parachutes to launch off mountains with - i have never heard of any paragliding under rounds, ever. (So he may have known about paragliding, but that would have years later?) Hang-gliders steer through weight shifting, whereas round parchutes that are vaguely steerable do not. Paragliding has no relevance to this jump. With all due respect I think that any confusion between hang-gliding/paragliding and a round parachute jump is purely based on a "whuffo" misunderstanding that they are all made of fabric and enable humans to be off the ground. A side note on the experience angle is that around that time you did not need many jumps to be "experienced" - it may be in the scary stories thread where at least once a person with 6 jumps was jump master. I am not familiar with the equipment in question, but I have jumped T10's and C9's and I don't believe it would be very difficult for a whuffo to kit up and understand the basic stuff - ripcord big silver handles, capewells would have no relevance, and then fairly simple leg straps and chest strap. This does not mean that I believe an inexperienced person would actually pull. Throughout history there have been idiots who believed they were able to do the impossible. However IF Cooper specified "back" parachute then it implies knowledge - a whuffo would automatically assume a parachute is a parachute. However this still does not need to be a jumper, perhaps a packer, lurker at a dz, or maybe even a storeman at a military establishment involved with paras? Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.

Definition of a blond: A redhead with the fire f*cked out of her Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.

A friend of mines brother was kicked out of med school because their were builders on scaffolding working on their floor. He asked the builders if they would "like a hand" and handed them a limb from a cadavar. Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.

Actually "official" inflation topped 100,000% percent 3 months ago. Inflation is going to skyrocket further over the next few months as government debt has increased by 65 times in 6 weeks!! Interesting fact - did you know that under Mugabe during the 1980's Zimbabwe had the highest literacy rate in Africa? Literacy was well over 80% and school exams were tied to UK "O" Levels so qualifications were world recognised. Ironically this has been part of the reason for the very rapid collapse as so many Zimbabweans were able to exploit highly skilled migrant programs and therefore leave the country. Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.

Your right & thanks for the links. One of Mugabe's "friends" http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/3301361.stm Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.

Yes racism is very much a two way street and white Zimbo's have their fair share. I disagree on the past though. Remember that prior to UDI (1961) there was no racial basis on which discrimination was made - discriminitation was based on financial ability and education. Ian Smith led the movement of the Rhodesian Front who were blatantly racist - yes he won slim majority and therefore had the backing of the whites - but it was far from all. Remember as well that there was no Apartheid in Rhodesia something that many people confuse with SA. Of course the hate was not manufactured by Bob, he is just the face of it. I do seriously believe that there are moral issues regarding a richer nation "invading" a poorer one as inevitable even without exploitation imbalance grows - this happens everywhere in the world. It is the reason that US companies will dominate the financial markets in Iraq in years to come. However it does not mean that these companies/people are abusing their position, just that they had a head start. In essence Colonialism was an "invasion" in case my point above seems detached. Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.

Hi Jamil, You are right there is no "point" to my post, I was just blowing off steam. You are also right that it is an African problem. What has truly amazed me over the past 2-3 years is how staunchly the other African governments have stood by Mugabe - including South Africa. The general consensus does seem to be that Mugabe is seen as the brave crusader against the west. Actually I don't think that this is very new either, you may be aware that in Zimbabwean culture naming your child is a very significant and meaningful event. So calling your child Happiness is fine as it reflects what you wanted. Well the point during the 1st Gulf war there were LOTS of children called Saddam or more frequently Scud. In local logic this was because it took the West's collective power to fight 1 man. Scud because it was a symbol of defiance against the west. So you come to the point when the majority resents the west and do not want our involvement - are we still morally obliged to support them with food aid and the like? Shouldn't this be left to his supportive "friends"? I don't think we should. Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.

As elections loom in the country of my past (Zimbabwe) I have been reflecting on the situation that I have found myself in. Without going into the intricate details of it and historical rights and wrongs. 10 years ago I left home to weather the storm in the UK, the intention was to be here for 4 years and then return. We are some of the lucky ones who through british law and our ancestry were able to settle in the UK very easily. 10 years on and the sure knowledge that we will never go "home" as no african nation that has sunk to the depths that Zimbabwe has have ever revived. Almost certainly Zimbabwe will muddle along for another few years and then I assume that tribal violence will break out between the 3 major ethnic groups (already the 3 presidential candidates campaign on common hatrid for whites, and their own ethnic origins). The feeling of losing your roots is painful beyond what I imagined possible. The situation is such that enshrined in Zimbabwean law being white excludes you from the rights of citizenship.We try to be "british" but at the end of the day cultural differences and perspectives remain, other family are scattered all over the world (New Zealand, Australia, Canada, USA) and they all have similar feelings. Our children are growing up with different roots to us - they truly are British. It is odd being an outsider and following the sometimes xenophobic rants against "immigrants" where people are to stupid and naive to differentiate between legal and illegal immigrants. People with vague notions of southern african history are often quick to critise what was done in the name of colonialism, without being aware of the facts - that alone can really get under my skin. Over the years I have transtioned from optimistic about the future, to being retrospective and wanting to help what I saw as fellow countrymen. This has given way to an element of bitterness, the outright racism that is more the rule than the exception has changed my attitude to finally believing that if they are so happy to hate the british more than Mugabe let them. I resent our tax money going as "aid" to support a nation that hates us and a corrupt regime, if Zimbabwe does not want democracy and western involvement let them have their way. Lastly when I look at colonialism in Africa I wonder at the why the British feel guilt? They were quite happy to go to Australia and kill the locals wholesale, they did the same in the USA. Perhaps they morally offload the killing of locals to the Aussies and Americans? Granted it is a clash of cultures of tremendous proportions when the colonialists arrived with technologies some 3000 years ahead of southern africa (Prior to the mid 1800's Zimbabwe did not have the wheel). Death and disease were rampant hence the entire population of Zimbabwe 120 years ago was less than 500 000 - of course mistakes were made and peoples feelings were hurt but on balance I feel that the british were a force for good. Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.

Seated bogs are much better for reading the newspaper and posting to DZ.com on the laptop..... so, it's no contest, is it? Yes but this toilet always came to mind when TB's name was mentioned http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blair_toilet and to answer the original question these toilets did not smell and were much cleaner than many public toilets. Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.

No its not - its a variation on trekking... Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.

Are those 2 different to the asian and black specific channels hosted in the UK? No you can argue they are not however Welsh is a nationality not a race and Wales recognises Welsh as an official language so it is different. Also everyone whether black/white or asian has kiddies so that channel is not really segmented either - unless in the interests of fairness you have teletubbies mingled with porno's? The aspect that specifically caught my attention was the fact that it is to be broadcast TARGETED outside the UK so it is not intended for local consumption. In an area that they say is already crowded. I don't have a problem that the BBC World-service is something that costs us taxpayers money, but it is targeted world-wide to provide informed coverage to people & countries where there is a vacuum of coverage. Admittedly I only listen to world service if I am driving pre-5am but the coverage is pretty broad and interesting. Turning the argument on its head - can you justify any positive benefits of the new channel? Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.

This morning on the way into work the BBC were talking about the launch of their new Arabic channel http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/7288062.stm I have always felt that the BBC were independant of politics and being publicly funded that they provided a balanced view to the public. Of course I have been irritated that their are Asian and Black channels as I don't believe in pandaring to minority interests - but I have always seen this as political correctness rather than "politics". However the launch of this channel got me thinking - WHY? It is going to cost the british tax payer lots of money in what they admit is an already crowded market? As middle eastern audiences "like" seeing beheadings on Al-Jazeera will the BBC do likewise? I see absolutely no value in this channel to either us or the potential viewers and therefore my suspicion is aroused that this is to be a pure propaganda move but why - is it to appease the Islamic radicals thereby potentially reducing our terrorist threat? Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.

Hi Billy, Unless it has changed in the last 5 years since I went their the one at Huntsville is actually an A-12 which from memory is the precursor to the SR71 (I couldn't tell the difference) Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.

Kallend - you ask for evidence of the sport being damaged by high-wingloadings. I know that you are going to call this anecdotal but I am a direct casualty of a high wingloading death. Having spent 7 years convincing my wife that I wanted to jump again she had the "pleasure" of calling the emergency services for someone who misjudged a turn. The trend in the fatalities database shows that deaths under a fully functional parachute are possibly the most significant contributor - and this excludes people not handling malfunctions on HP canopies. I think that it is also fair to look at well established principles and that people usually under-estimate risk due to in-experience. We see this in all aspects of daily life from sport, driving, and work where the people are wary of the rookie who is briming with foolish confidence. Granted there will be exceptions and rules tend to slow the exception down but it is the price we pay (and should pay) for the prevention of un-necessary injury and death. When you mention your stilleto at 40 jumps - you are probably leaving out crucial details like 100's or 1000's of hours on a paraglider/glider/hang-glider etc. Similarly there was that person who did alot of tunnel-time and their first jump was an x way. These are exceptions and a "good" system allows credit for experience to transfer. An excuse of talent is simply not good enough as 80% of us believe we are in the top 20% Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.

Could someone explain - this is a static line rig, but in the video it looks like there is a pilot chute/drogue doing the deployment? How does this type of static line work? All the static lines that I have ever seen (and done) the line was directly attached to the d-bag? Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.

you mean like this? Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.

I just saw this clip, and I don't know if it is a repost or not but http://www.glumbert.com/media/irack Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.

Actually I disagree with this. They don't have money but there are a very large number of charities that pour resources into the 3rd world. Even strategic pilot projects can help prototype idea's. So as example instead of you & I rigging up solar to "supplement" our nice low cost electricity that won't make an iota of difference to our countries supply output, we could install the systems in a village in country x giving someone a lifestyle improvement & probably reducing deforestation etc at the same time. I am also specifically thinking groups like greenpeace could do something productive like this - rather than commiting expensive terrorist acts (they recently broke into Heathrow and climbed on a plane). Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.

This thread should be locked while rushmc and Billvon are in agreement Has that ever happened before for an entire thread? However on topic it does seem that politics, economics and the "green" agenda are undermining a fundamental principle of grid electricity supplies - and that is the provision of reserve capacity to deal with short term peaks in demand. I don't believe that wind or solar energy are efficient generators for large scale electrical generation - but they do work very well (solar in my experience) for micro-generation at homestead level. In essence there is a choice do people want to have low cost energy that is stable in supply and "unlimited" at domestic level or move to green energy supplies on a micro-level and pay the price (it is much more expensive). In many ways the 3rd world is ideally positioned to prototype and explore radical concepts in clean energy generation as they do not have established supply to homes. For example I would be curious to see if micro-generation could be modelled at say village level to exploit mesh networking techniques and topologies. Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.

I posted the story not because it was very "newsworthy" but because the original comment about someone being shot and a contributing factor was the clothes they wore. At the time of the comment (August 2003) many people laughed at the concept (along with the fact that the war would be here 5 years later! Another interesting "fact" is that the thread in question is in the bonfire Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.

A number of years ago Bill posted this See todays news http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/7268645.stm Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.

Yes cause he's got no balls Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.

Thanks Orange1 and Itdiver, I thought that I had made it all up. Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.