Deuce

My Mom did the exact same thing to me, uh, 23 years ago. We moved to a new house and Oly, my blue-eyed German Shepherd, was digging around the fence gate. Very, very, small California yard. I realized much later it was the right decision, probably around the time I realized that it wasn't "my" house, it was my Mom's. Sorry, Amber. You will have your own house sooner than you think, and you can have whatever pets and treat them however you want then.

Especially now that you can do your laundry naked! I know exactly how you feel! I dig appliances, especially ones that work good. I got a new dryer at Costco a while back and was so fired up that it had this shelf thing that fits inside so you can put your shoes in there to dry out. Dry clothes are very cool! I got a little nervous about what kind of "appliance" you might be excited about.

Aw, thanks Lisa! How sweet

Age descrimination. If you're old enough to join POPs, they don't want you. What? You thought I hadn't looked into it? Didn't that just suck? For a little while there after 9/11 there was a lot of talk about needing cops to go over to the Air Marshalls. I thought "My Country needs me" I check them out and I'M TOO OLD? WTF? They revised the rules and I'm currently on the list, but I'm with BillVon now, I'm not taking a pay cut and having to put up with the nonsense. But since I'm not a diabolical genius, don't put too much stock in my incredible doofus opinion

Well, I am, cause it's you, and we were on a zoo dive. Use the dial up and pull a knife on your SUBORDINATES if they give you any shiite. Think about where you would slash and where you would stab. Less bored now?

Wrongo, palomino! It's talking and thinking like that has successfully kept me on wife #1 for so very long!

Watch cornholio's videos. He gets taken out quite spectacularly! You're even on his Perris one sticking your tongue out at me cause I cut you off when you were trying to dock on the base. (kid sing-song voice)I cut off a world-record holder! Bytch

I knew some folks who had unusual names and liked them because it let them correct people right away. My wife's name can be a pain, Corinne, because she pronounces it KOH-reen ( I do too, she makes me) My girl's have two-syllable easy names just for that reason, Camille and Yvette. You might have her make the change at the beginning of the next school year. 6th grade? All the kids come back from summer break and Danna has a new name. Or maybe she can have Jordan for Christmas!

Wow. That sounds like nothing but a good thing! New Spectre 150. I think it's gonna be mostly royal blue with three red cells and black stabilizers. The same guy that packed it packed the reserve. If I have to go for my first reserve ride IT'S OK CAUSE NOW I HAVE TWO RIGS!

Yes, this is the kind of "bad thing" it's a "good thing" to have to put up with. First jump on new canopy tomorrow! It took so long to get it I honest-to-God don't remember the color configuration! It came already packed up. I could look at the order form, but heck, I figure it's gonna be like seeing a girl naked for the first time! Yeee-har! 22 hours to load one!

Hey Dudelio! This pot is getting burned on the bottom without you stirring it up all the time! Beer-jumping a new rig tomorrow! I'll tip one in your honor! JP

Nathan! Way to offend! MILF! Ugh. Just my own kids mom Eloy, Baby! Eloy!

Skymama is correct: Christmas decorations before Thanksgiving is an Holiday Infraction. The Day After Thanksgiving I will be putting the lights on the house and we'll be putting a ready-cut tree into the front room. I'll put the lights on the tree and then the "ART" of putting ornaments on will be left to the Estrogen Gang. Ah, the tree. A dark house lit with only Christmas tree lights late at night, an empty bottle of wine, the crunch of fallen needles between the carpet and my back.... Thanksgiving is next Thursday right?! What I wouldn't give for diplomatic immunity and an shotgun at the Macy's Day Parade. "Here comes Bullwinkle" "BLAM!"

They sure were, 1.21 to be exact. No they're "Jiggy"-watts. Just like regular watts, but with better fashion sense and dance rythm

He's Jim Gold. I am truly both blessed and cursed by the camera flyers I keep company with. They're a blessing because they're all good teachers and are constantly coaching me to a higher skill level. They're a freakin curse because I'll never catch up to them! You can see a picture of Jim in the latest Parachutist. He flew camera for the gold medal 4 member CrW team. He's going to France! He works a canopy just as hard as he works his camera suit. Little Rat-Bastard j/k!

Since he started the manuever from behind the three-man base, I'm thinking three points!

Uh Oh.. That must mean I am a legend in some way? Is that good or bad??? LOL Suburban legend congrats.

Serious reply? As soon as you show them how. I have drilled this into my girls heads: "What do you get when you whine?" Answer: "Nothing" Never tell them to do something if you aren't ready to stop what YOU'RE doing and make sure it gets done. Never tell them to do something more than once. If they get conditioned to wait for you to raise your voice before they get in motion, that's what they'll wait for. If they know you won't make them do what they're told until the fourth time you tell them and also when you are screaming, they will wait for those conditions. Dude, you know firsthand that "discipline" is a good thing. Children thrive on discipline and routine. If a kid has a bad habit it can be broken in a week if the adults agree to consistently provide the necessary discipline. Not smacking them around, but firm, consistent commitment to a behaviour. One overnight with a doting grandparent can set you back to square one (not Lisa's) though. The biggest mistake I see my friends make is the bedtime thing. They let their kids determine bedtime. Anyhow, the are taught manipulation by us from their first breath.

You know, I was at my most positively fattestest when I belonged to a gym. I would find myself saying "Yes, I can eat this ice cream, I will go to the 'magic gym' tomorrow so it won't count' I spend that money on skydiving stuff now. I do push-ups, pull-ups and sit-ups every morning or use that lawnmower wheel thing and eat the minimum amount of carbs. 100 grams of protein a day. My skin fits kinda like a sleeping bag, but my feet don't hurt as much

Yep. That's me. And if you think I'm yappy there, you ought to see me fluff a tandem video (vidiot fluffing = yapping, not, uh, "fluffing")

http://www.almgren.net/sky/index.html Aside from the the damn yapping of the vidiot, this is some pretty funny video. Click on "Matts' 100th" or whatever it says.

Hey! Thanks for the invite, Seb! I've almost put my pile of work back into it's coffin, so next time I'll take the Friday off and meet you out there.

When I'm wearing the camera suit, you can wear the gripper suit. Briggs would look better in it than either of us. Maybe she'll lend you the pink one. Thanks for letting UPS deliver my rig to ME after they delivered it to YOU yesterday. I'm beer-jumping it Saturday, coming up to Byron?

Nice edit Matt. But are you really voluteering to be a towed meatmissile target at Eloy?

Good luck fellow bureaucrat! I gotta share the best advice I ever got about interviews. Never tell the truth if it gets in the way of what the interviewer wants to hear. Paraphrasing: A young man arrives to take your daughter on a date, he should say "Mr. Kelly, we're meeting my parents at the football game, and afterward we're meeting with the Quade family for pizza, would you like to meet us there? Anyhow, I will drop your daughter off at ten" Do not tell truth: " Mr. Kelly, I've been trying to get into your daughter's pants for six months, I've borrowed my cousin's van, and I've got some everclear punch to loosen her up. But relax, I've got lots and lots of condoms" It's ten grand. Tell them what they want to hear!