lummy

THE COLLEGE THEME PAPER: HE VS. SHE "Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. One of you will then write the first paragraph of a short story. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back and forth. Remember to reread what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking and any thing you wish to say must be written on the paper. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached." The following was actually turned in by two of my English students: Rebecca and Gary. ---------------------------------------------------------------- STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca) At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question. ----------------------------------------------------------- (second paragraph by Gary) Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron Now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than The neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he Had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of Nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the Direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit. ---------------------------------------------------------- (Rebecca) He bumped his head and died almost immediately but not before he felt One last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had Ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless Hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had Passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things round her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully. --------------------------------------------------------- (Gary) Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched The first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks Who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through the Congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who Were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the Passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying Enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, They swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered The atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret Mobile submarine headquarters onthe ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid, Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow 'em out of the sky!" ---------------------------------------------------------- (Rebecca) This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My Writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semiliterate adolescent. ---------------------------------------------------------- (Gary) Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F*CKING TEA??? Oh no, I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels." ---------------------------------------------------------- (Rebecca) Asshole. ---------------------------------------------------------- (Gary) Bitch. ---------------------------------------------------------- (Rebecca) W*nker. ---------------------------------------------------------- Gary) slut. --------------------------------------------------------- (Rebecca) Get f*cked. ---------------------------------------------------------- (Gary) Eat shit. ---------------------------------------------------------- (Rebecca) F*CK YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!! ---------------------------------------------------------- (Gary) Go drink some tea -- whore. ********************************************** (teacher) A+ - I really liked this one. I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. eat sushi, get smoochieTTK#1

530? That's a Davis CA area code... I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. eat sushi, get smoochieTTK#1

Solly.. I did tell Matt that I was plannin on being there Sunday tho. It was REALLY slow... Next weekend for the Free fly Festival? I'm definitely going to be there Sun all day, am trying to get there Sat for at least the sunset load, we'll see I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. eat sushi, get smoochieTTK#1

20:2:0 20 minutes late picking up my world record holding friend from the airport. I have a really good excuse tho, it was a fuel load :). Didn't even have time to take off the jumpsuit, and just threw the rig in the back seat. 2 Solo jumps, it was a really slow day at Byron, so I practiced my stands and was just too danged happy to be back in the air I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. eat sushi, get smoochieTTK#1

Now if we could just teach Nathan to LURK.... I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. eat sushi, get smoochieTTK#1

WWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO congrats Gals... Big round of hugs for all :) Now go break that record Again!!! I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. eat sushi, get smoochieTTK#1

Tax returns and about 4 months of surfin every used gear site in the lower 48 to find it. I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. eat sushi, get smoochieTTK#1

I'm SORRY EVERYONE!!! I didn't MEAN to get him started HONEST!!! I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. eat sushi, get smoochieTTK#1

WOMEN'S ENGLISH: Yes. = No. No. = Yes. Maybe. = No. I'm sorry. = You'll be sorry. We need. = I want. It's your decision. = The correct decision should be obvious by now. Do what you want ... = You'll pay for this later. We need to talk. = I need to complain. Sure ... go ahead. = I don't want you to .... I'm not upset! = Of course I'm upset, you moron! You're ... so manly. = You need a shave, and you sweat a lot. You're certainly attentive tonight. = Is sex all you ever think about? Be romantic, turn out the lights. = I have flabby thighs. Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive. How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really not going to like. I'll be ready in a minute. = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV. Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful. You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me. Are you listening to me? = Too late ... you're dead. MEN'S ENGLISH: I'm hungry. = I'm hungry. I'm sleepy. = I'm sleepy. I'm tired. = I'm tired. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you. Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you. May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you. Nice dress! = Nice cleavage! You look tense, let me give you a massage. = I want to fondle you. What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question. I'm bored. = Do you want to have sex? I love you. = Let's have sex now. I love you, too. = Okay, I said it. We'd better have sex now! Let's talk. = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person. Maybe then you'd like to have sex with me. Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys. I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well together. = I'm gay. I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. eat sushi, get smoochieTTK#1

I heard Johnny's lookin for work!! I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. eat sushi, get smoochieTTK#1

putting hand across heart and standing at attention I pledge allegiance to the thread of the united Post Ho's of Dz.com and to this endeavor To which I pledge One post for each thought Divided with humor and beer for all.. I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. eat sushi, get smoochieTTK#1

If those are the questions, what are the answers? Huh huh??? Can I be on it tooo??? I can fly on my belly, usually, well kinda sorta, but I'm REALLY comfortable with more than one person in the air with me now ;) I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. eat sushi, get smoochieTTK#1

MORE senseless STATS..... Out of the top 20 threads with the most posts, 20% of them have been locked (4) including the #1 thread And with THAT info, this thread moves into the 3 spot :) Let's try not to get this one locked :) I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. eat sushi, get smoochieTTK#1

Muhahahahaha.... Pot calling the kettly black huh? and what's the DEAL Slap? Can't handle your pumpkin guts? I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. eat sushi, get smoochieTTK#1

2 N's dear.... guinness, can I have mine with a Bass? No, not SEABASS.... I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. eat sushi, get smoochieTTK#1

Nope, you just get a Scooby Snack... Hey!! Where's Nathan today? I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. eat sushi, get smoochieTTK#1

Y2k it? I don't think that's an issue any longer Isn't the next big worry in the puting world 2038, the Day we need to add an extra bit to Nix dates?? or was it 2011? I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. eat sushi, get smoochieTTK#1

or .. or.... I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. eat sushi, get smoochieTTK#1

Yeah, IT was viking's Who are you and what you do that has the most views.... (acting like a proud Papa) This one is 4th now for most posts I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. eat sushi, get smoochieTTK#1

Well and a rig if you want to do it more than once I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. eat sushi, get smoochieTTK#1

Must be pretty warm by now (and shtinky!!) I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. eat sushi, get smoochieTTK#1

Only 99 thousand 9 hundred nintey eight posts to go... killing bandwidth one post at a time... I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. eat sushi, get smoochieTTK#1

It's a small bonus, but he's giving what he can!!! I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. eat sushi, get smoochieTTK#1

WOW!! I'm being immortalized!!! I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. eat sushi, get smoochieTTK#1

Good Luck Clay.... I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. eat sushi, get smoochieTTK#1