RhondaLea

What Mike described is not dick teasing. It's like reverse rape or something. I don't really know what to call it except to say this is one of the most fucked-up stories I've ever heard. I dunno. Except for what I suggested up above (and having heard the whole story, I wouldn't be aiming for the headboard after all), I would think the smart money is on getting as far from such a woman as possible. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

Fortunately, you outgrew it. Some men never do. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

Yeah, well, that doesn't hold a candle to the sound of one hand clapping. You want me to send the PM to you too? rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

you would know more if you did more listening and less talking. Are you just having a bad day today? Walt PM sent. Note to Chris Cowden: Sometimes the lack of a message is the message. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

No. I'm talking about two really screwed up people, one of whom I would literally run from if I saw him on the street, because he's that scary. The first time I ever talked to him, he called me on a weeknight at 4 am. I guess he figured that since he was in California, and it was only 1 am his time, it would be okay. It only got worse from there. Back in those days, I tried to be nice to everyone. Nowadays, I save it for everyone who is nice. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

I looked at this, and I had no idea what you were talking about. Then I realized which thread I'm in. I'm quite done...in all four (I think) threads in which he and I are having an unpleasant encounter. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

Well, since you asked... OK, I'll stop... (Remember that silly "reputation" PM thingie...???) Indeed I do. And I'm trying very hard not to miss all the fun. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

Funny how it would work the other way for men me! I want to know what forum you're reading. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

Nope. No way. You are not coming here. I'm coming there. It's warmer where you are. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

Sometimes, I'm tempted to post my phone number for that very reason. But, back in the old r.s days, it was in my sig, and no one ever used it (except for two guys who were in sore need of intensive psychotherapy) unless they emailed first asking if it was okay, so I guess it wouldn't matter. And then I realize that what I really need to do is a better job of collecting my friends' email addresses in one place. The real answer, however, is that I would get a lot more work done, and my wrists would hurt a whole lot less. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

That's a little extreme, John. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

I guess you had no choice but to stop...but I don't think I would've called it a sexual assault if you hadn't. The power abuse and the controlling aspect were all hers, not yours. "The woman who was afraid to say 'no'" said "no." She said "no" many, many times. And she struggled. But when one is outnumbered, there's isn't much to be done for it. But if she had been willing to have sex with all three of them, and decided in the middle that she wanted to stop...well, I think that's a lemon as compared to your apple. I suppose the reason we have hard and fast rules is that some people aren't capable of using judgment, but it does lead to some thorny thought exercises. I think if I had been you, I'd have pulled out and come all over her headboard. I mean, wtf is someone thinking to put another person in a situation like that? Let me ask you something, what if it had been the other way around? Not her who wanted to stop, but you? I'm not even sure I want you to answer that question; I want to hear some answers from the other women here. Let it be said, though, that in the absence of mitigating factors, I'm really irate on your behalf. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

If I get drunk with you, posting here is not part of the plan. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

Bullshit - no means NO, period! As I said in another thread, it doesn't matter if you're leaning in to kiss her on the cheek, or 2 strokes from orgasm - if she says stop, then it's full-motherfucking-STOP. Anything else should be considered sexual assault at a minimum. Two strokes from orgasm, and she says "stop"? That's assault, all right, but it's not a sexual assault on the woman. Here's the problem. If you take it to that extreme, women look like abusive bitches (not to mention idiots), and it's just as bad as the other extreme some of us have gone to in this thread. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

My New Year's resolution is to get absolutely pickled one of these days and follow it up with a spate of posting. I've never posted toasted, and I'm not even sure I'd be able to type, but I suppose that's half the fun of it. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

There are several sites that create such "prose." Ashtanga posted one such in another thread. Edited to add: I generally don't read posts that don't come neatly packaged in paragraphs. They make me dizzy. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

I agree 100%. My original response was colored by my ire towards people like Ian who use this forum as their personal joke area. Also, at first, I didn't see a lot of merit in the topic itself. But after reading a few inputs from you ladies, I began to see the gray areas I hadn't seen before. My original thoughts were that there could be absolutely no blame assigned to a woman, but I can see different perspectives now. I see that Ian's not the only shit-stirrer around here. While the posters on this forum may have some interesting ideas, some of the ideas to which your mind has been opened do not reflect the current state of the law in this matter. I strongly recommend that you not use your new learning out in the real world, or you may perhaps end up in jail. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

What if it's not the equipment that's at fault? My point about Bryn Mawr and her priors yada, yada, yada, is that she was not a flight risk, and therefore, there was no necessity to set her bail so high that her parents could not afford to bail her out. And we don't actually know if her parents can afford Bryn Mawr. She may be a scholarship student. And even if she's not, the non-refundable cost of the bail bond is prohibitive. That you should mention anthrax is interesting. Obviously, they had no concerns about the substance being anthrax. They didn't test for it, they didn't take the precautions required if it were suspected. All in all, I would think their focus should be on such things as anthrax rather than on drugs. Anyway, I'm not sure your contention that the police did exactly what they should have done is correct. If they did what they should have done, we'd not be looking at a false positive result from flour and a three week stay in jail for the girl. But I may be prejudiced. I'm from New Jersey, and Philadelphia law enforcement (and its legal system, generally) doesn't have a pristine reputation. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

I tried to point this out near the beginning of the thread, but was informed by one of the regu-loozers here that you had to have been raped to understand why this is such a legitimate topic. It is a legitimate topic, even if it was started by Ian, whose only intention was to stir the shit. Some of the responses in the thread make it clear that even with all that we know about crimes of power and control, some people still harbor the belief that rape is a "sex crime." It doesn't matter what Ian was trying to do; it does matter that we're talking about it. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

Your other thread got deleted, and my comment went with it. I'm sorry that your evening was ruined, but I'm glad that both you and Rosalyn are okay. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

By the time I started skydiving, the relationship I had established with my parents was "It's my life to live, not yours, and while I'm okay with having an adult conversation, if you try to parent me, I'm out of here." I know my mother worried, especially during the third weekends of October '97 and '98, but all she said was, "Be careful." She watched the videos and sighed, although she and my father admitted it looked pretty interesting. But the other side of that is this: I have a daughter who is older than some of you. She has only ever made one jump (a skydive, of course), and I paid for it. I was a wreck. It was the strangest thing, because I taught her from an early age that "We are all on the straight road to death from the moment we are born. The only thing that counts is how we live in the meantime." She always understood that one can die jumping--she has as many dead friends as I do, and one of her closest skydiving friends died while she watched--but even though she told me to be careful (and criticized me roundly if I screwed up even in a minor way), she never objected to my jumping or suggested that I shouldn't, even though I'm pretty sure she was sometimes fearful of what would happen to her if something happened to me. When she made that lone jump, I did not perform half so well for her as she always did for me. I think there are two reasons for that, but only one which is useful. This "being a parent" thing is hard, because no matter how big they get, what happens to your children happens no less to you. To allow our children to grow, we parents have to somehow distance ourselves from that feeling, because the compulsion to keep our children safe is paramount. It's terrifying, and logic does not apply. The other reason is that I came late to what I taught her early. She just grew up with the idea that it's better to have a short, happy life than a long, miserable one. But the other thing that parents want for their children is that they should have good and fulfilling lives, and if you can make a case for that--that you need to jump to make your life worthwhile, then it's a good part of the battle of bringing them to acceptance. All that said, if Legg ever makes good on his promise (made when she was about 12 or 13) to put her off a bridge, I'll probably have to be sedated. You may never be able to convince your family of anything, but the purpose of having children is not to live their lives for them. Sometimes parents forget that. Perhaps you should remind them. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

Don't you think, then, that the police should have dotted every "i" and crossed every "t" first? She is a student at an exclusive women's college--Bryn Mawr doesn't take riffraff. She apparently had no priors. She does not appear to have been a flight risk. There is no flour I have ever seen that looks like a drug, but maybe I haven't seen enough drugs. Or maybe I haven't seen enough flour, but I'm guessing that for the purpose, they used the bleached white store brand. Some posters have commented on her lack of common sense, but what about asking our law enforcement officers to use a little common sense? It would seem to me that asking a cop to have some is less of a stretch than asking a college student barely out of her teens to do the same. And I'm not even sure that in her case, it was a lack of common sense. She wasn't thinking like a criminal, because she isn't a criminal. Healthy-minded, innocent people just don't spend their lives thinking "Well, if I do this, it might look like this." They just go around acting like healthy-minded, innocent people. And finally, an innocent person spent three entire weeks in jail for having legal items in her possession. It is frightening to me that the police could field test flour and come up with "drugs." I hope she wins big. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

Not a chance. There's no need to be insulting. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

Im gonna go out on a limb and say it, but then thats what speakers corner is all about... someone who has to smoke when work is getting on top of them is showing a weakness. Admittadely its caused by a chemical reliance thing but its still a weakness. Its just a socially accepted low level drug really, same as alcohol. Now that I am guilty to but its not as addictive as smoking. I dont have to go out of work to take beer breaks every hour So you think that having a biochemical disorder is a weakness or a character flaw? I'm setting you up, Scoop. Be careful how you answer. As for the other thing you mentioned....I've always liked the "smoke break" argument, because it totally ignores what really goes on in the workplace. In some jobs, everyone gets specified breaks, and some people choose to smoke on their break. It's not that they get a break to smoke, it's that they get a break, just like everyone else. In my job, the smokers can take a cigarette break when they feel like it. The non-smokers can also take a break when they feel like it, and they do. They stop for a chat, they go to the kitchen and get a snack, they make a personal phone call. I don't do any of those things, I just have a cigarette--once in the morning and once in the afternoon--and it takes a whole lot less of my day than what everyone else spends on their breaks. If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

LOL! I get that response all the time on boards like this! So you're saying, those people are at the end of their rope and have no valid argument against me? COOOooooOOoOoOooOOOOOL! -Jeffrey Allow me to clarify my statement. I think "you're a very angry person" is the classic response of those who have no good argument to make, if this statement is made in response to an actual argument. When it is merely a response to gibberish, nonsense or blather that upon examination bears no relation to the topic of the argument, it may well be an astute observation. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb