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I have a pair of Ray-Ban's that cost around $100. Before those, I wore cheap ones like Foster Grants for around $15. I've had these glasses for about 6 years or so. I carry the case for them everywhere, so I don't just throw them around. I do have to bend the frames to fit me, though....but I'm gentle. I hope I won't have to buy another pair for a long time. BTW...I absolutely WILL NOT jump in them! Nina Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz) Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance

Said to 1'st time tandem student on way to altitude... "Remember....no sounds just like go in the doorway!" Nina Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz) Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance

I saw this on a jump plane one day. They had their fingers fisted up, palm facing inward. Then they reeled a pretend reel with the other hand while the "birdie" finger on the fisted hand slowly came up...then they reeled the other way and it went back down. A way to flip someone off and they think it's so amusing they forget to be pissed off!!! Nina Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz) Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance

And you're all in one piece still? Impressive!!! I must learn your secret. Obviously, it's not what you say, but how you say it. Nina Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz) Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance

Well, actually there are some I'd like to say in ANY circumstances, but that's the way the article was titled. Nina Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz) Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of crap. 2. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter. 3. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. 4. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. 5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me. 6. Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again... 7. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid. 8. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers. 9. Does everyone visualize duct tape over your mouth so early into the conversation? 10. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about your being competent. 11. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view. 12. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental. 13. What am I? Flypaper for freaks? 14. And your cry-baby whiny-butt opinion would be...? 15. Do I look like a people person? 16. I started out with nothing and still have most of it left. 17. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer. 18. If I throw a stick, will you leave? 19. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed. 20. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed. 21. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it? 22. How do I set a laser printer to stun? 23. How about never? Is never good for you? 24. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist. 25. CHAOS, PANIC, & DISORDER-my work here is done. Nina Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz) Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance

Letter to the IRS (Found on Joke A Day) Note: Sometimes a story comes along that needs no polishing or enhancement to make it better. This is one of those. It is a real letter submitted to the IRS the midst of 1995s weird and bizarre denial of dependents, exemptions and credits. The letter speaks for itself. Sirs: I am responding to your letter denying the deduction for two of the three dependents I claimed on my 1994 Federal Tax return. Thank you! I have questioned whether or not these are my children for years. They are evil and expensive. It's only fair that, since they are minors and no longer my responsibility, the government should know something about them and what to expect over the next year. Please do not try to reassign them to me next year and reinstate the deduction. They are yours! The oldest, Kristen, is now 17. She is brilliant. Ask her! I suggest you put her to work in your office where she can answer people's questions about their returns. While she has no formal training, it has not seemed to hamper her mastery of any subject you can name. Taxes should be a breeze. Next year she is going to college. I think it's wonderful that you will now be responsible for that little expense. While you mull that over, keep in mind that she has a truck. It doesn't run at the moment, so you have the choice of appropriating some Department of Defense funds to fix the vehicle, or getting up early to drive her to school. Kristen also has a boyfriend. Oh joy! While she possesses all of the wisdom of the universe, her alleged mother and I have felt it best to occasionally remind her of the virtues of abstinence, or in the face of overwhelming passion, safe sex. This is always uncomfortable, and I am quite relieved you will be handling this in the future. May I suggest that you reinstate Dr. Jocelyn Elders who had a rather good handle on the problem. Patrick is 14. I've had my suspicions about this one. His eyes are a little closer together than those of normal people. He may be a tax examiner himself one day, if he is not incarcerated first. In February, I was awakened at three in the morning by a police officer who was bringing Pat home. He and his friends were TP'ing houses. In the future, would you like him delivered to the local IRS office, or to Ogden, UT? Kids at 14 will do almost anything on a dare. His hair is purple. Permanent dye, temporary dye, what's the big deal? Learn to deal with it. You'll have plenty of time, as he is sitting out a few days of school after instigating a food fight in the cafeteria. I'll take care of filing your phone number with the vice-principal. Oh yes, he and all of his friends have raging hormones. This is the house of testosterone and it will be much more peaceful when he lives in your home. DO NOT leave him or his friends unsupervised with girls, explosives, inflammables, inflatables, vehicles, or telephones. (They find telephones a source of unimaginable amusement. Be sure to lock out the 900 and 976 numbers!) Heather is an alien. She slid through a time warp and appeared as if by magic one year. I'm sure this one is yours. She is 10 going on 21. She came from a bad trip in the sixties. She wears tie-dyed clothes, beads, sandals, and hair that looks like Tiny Tim's. Fortunately you will be raising my taxes to help offset the pinch of her remedial reading courses. "Hooked On Phonics" is expensive, so the schools dropped it. But here's the good news! You can buy it yourself for half the amount of the deduction that you are denying me! It's quite obvious that we were terrible parents (ask the other two). She cannot speak English. Most people under twenty understand the curious patois she fashioned out of valley girls/boys in the hood/reggae/yuppie/political double speak. The school sends her to a speech pathologist who has her roll her "r's". It added a refreshing Mexican/Irish touch to her voice. She wears hats backwards, baggy pants, and wants one of her ears pierced four more times. There is a fascination with tattoos that worries me, but I am sure that you can handle it. Bring a truck when you come to get her, she sort of "nests" in her room and I think that it would be easier to move the entire thing than find out what it is really made of. You denied two of the three exemptions, so it is only fair that you get to pick which two you will take. I prefer that you take the youngest two, I will still go bankrupt with Kristen's college, but then I am free! If you take the two oldest, then I still have time for counseling before Heather becomes a teenager. If you take the two girls, then I won't feel so bad about putting Patrick in a military academy. Please let me know of your decision as soon as possible, as I have already increased the withholding on my W-4 to cover the $395 in additional tax and made a down payment on an airplane. Yours truly, Bob (Note: The IRS allowed the deductions and reinstated his refund.) Nina Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz) Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance

Damn! You mean there is one? Where do I sign up? Nina Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz) Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance

Define SO. Is it someone you're currently having sex with or someone you're planning to have sex with in the future! Nina Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz) Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance

In honor of tomorrow being the final day to submit your taxes, I found this on Joke A Day. Tax Jokes from “Late Night TV” Submitted By D. Kurtzman "We ought to thank President Bush. He made it a lot easier for people to do taxes this year. No job, no income tax this year." —Jay Leno "Earlier today, the White House released President Bush's tax return. Not surprisingly, under dependents, the president listed Iraq." —Conan O'Brien "President Bush released his tax returns yesterday. He listed the economy as a liability. He gets to write that off." —Jay Leno "Technically, you're not paying taxes. According to the Bush administration, your bank account is being liberated." —Jay Leno "Today the IRS gave some guidelines on how to avoid getting audited. Number one, don't list deductions that will raise a red flag. Number two, make sure you file on time. Number three, don't make any stupid anti-war speech at the Academy Awards." —Jay Leno "The IRS now says you can deduct weight loss plans off your taxes. You can write it off because the government has officially declared obesity a disease. And it's a disease, you can deduct medical expenses. That shows what a difference an administration can make. See under Bush, obesity is a disease. Under Clinton it was just sexy." —Jay Leno "Monday, April 15th, taxes are due. I just don't pay them. Yeah, this year Arthur Anderson did my taxes, I'm getting $6 billion back." —Conan O'Brien "Yesterday the IRS announced that obese Americans are entitled to certain tax breaks. Apparently, under the new rules, you're allowed to claim two or more chins as dependents." —Conan O'Brien "If your accountant is Arthur Anderson ... today is the last day you could have your tax documents shredded by April 15th." —David Letterman "I hate to be the one to remind you, but just pretty soon it is going to be April 15th, it is going to be tax time. You know what I am saying? Are you ready? Well you know when something like this happens New Yorkers always try to put the best face they can on a situation. For example the hookers in Times Square, for an extra $50 they will handle your extension." —David Letterman . Nina Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz) Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance

Valid argument...but here's my link: http://www.gotdogsonline.com/pictures/gallery/jack-russell-terriers/jack-russell-terrier-0124/ I'm an unusual person...gotta' have an unusual picture! Nina Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz) Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance

Yeah well...you know me, it's all about CRW. But this way, it fits my personality AND covers the CRWdog requirements! Thanks Mike! Nina Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz) Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance

In honor of the fact that I have been very astutely compared to a Jack Russell terrier, I have changed my avatar. Like it? Nina Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz) Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance

Hmmm....not sure who Mr. Peepers is...but if you say so.... Nina Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz) Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance

Don't get your hairs ruffled, Dave. No offense meant at all. I thought he was a very handsome gorilla! Of course, I LIKE men with hairy chests, etc. Nina Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz) Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance

WOW Dave. That's actually a little too close in resemblence for comfort, isn't it? He's a cute little devil, though. Nina Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz) Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance

Hmmm...if you OK with it, I guess it counts. I'd personally try to make sure I found a [B]REALLY cute picture to carry off that resemblence! Nina Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz) Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance

Thank you for playing with me Dave. I'll look forward to the pic. Nina Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz) Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance

What is with everyone this morning? I guess next someone is going to tell me it's a stuffed animal? Seeing as that I am a rather unique individual...it seemed only fitting that MY version of a Jack Russell be unique also. Check out the description of the attitude of the dog. I do believe it fits me well. http://www.gotdogsonline.com/pictures/gallery/jack-russell-terriers/jack-russell-terrier-0124/ Sorry...don't know how to do a short clicky...but this works just as well. Nina Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz) Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance

It has been suggested (rather strongly, mind you) that because of my incessant exuberance and bounciness, my personality resembles a Jack Russell terrier. Have you ever been compared, in either looks or attitude, to an animal? If so, what is it? Also, if you can post a pic of it, that would be an added bonus. Nina Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz) Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance

And your point would be? IMHO, he's a smart man! Nina Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz) Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance

Oh man....I can't believe you did it again. Sangiro is SO gonna' get you for this!!! Nina Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz) Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance

I was married to a non-skydiver. I wasn't a skydiver when we married, either...started about 3 years ago. He couldn't stand how happy I was when I went skydiving, nor how much time I was away...even though he told me to go every time I went. He wouldn't come with me or even come and watch me just once! He got pissed and jealous, as he had nothing to keep himself entertained while I was gone (unless you counted his other women). Unfortunately, it didn't work for me! Nina Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz) Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance

Most definitely the spanker, not the spankee! Now if the right person offered to lick me, though, something might could be arranged! Nina Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz) Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance

Billy, where in the hell do you get this stuff? That is so funny! Nina Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz) Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance