livendive

Did you notice the number of jumps listed in his profile? Edit to add: Damn, Gia beat me to it by 1 minute. Drats, foiled again. Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

ehh... well.. are you buying? lol Don't you owe me a case of it? Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

I think so. This year my brother and sister are getting the same gift from me...a date with their significant others. If I gave them cash, they'd probably pay bills or buy diapers or something practical, which, while nice, doesn't translate into the kind of smile I shoot for with the gifts I give. Instead, I'm giving them each a gift certificate to a local restaurant, a pair of movie tickets, and a voucher good for one night of babysitting. Hopefully they'll enjoy a nice evening together more than they would an extra bag of groceries. Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

Sorry about your mother-in-law John, here's hope that she makes a full recovery and that your holiday season is otherwise great. Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

Before I learned about female anatomy and sex, I thought the way to make a girl pregnant was to pee in her bellybutton. Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

They need some remedial training on spotting! Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

I don't know about ALL his dreams, but he seemed to really like the spanking I gave him. Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

Booked. I'll be there, even if you don't notice me due to my reserved nature... Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

Lock up the women and children! (If you haven't bought your tix yet, rumor has it that America West recently dropped prices from Seattle). Wow! America West is $330 cheaper out of Seattle versus Spokane, but only $20 cheaper than Southwest out of Spokane. Since Spokane is 100 miles closer to home (think hungover drive home New Year's day) and $20 is made up in 1 day of parking, I'm booking with Southwest now and will worry about sleeping arrangements next week. Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

How low class are you willing to get? No diseases in the sheets, and the hookers must take "no" for an answer the first time. Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

Mmmmmm.... sliced foie gras sauted in calvados over cramberies and raisins..... I got some Sauternne the other day too! Alright, with that, I'm looking to move from "most likely" to "definite" very late in the game. How far from the DZ is the closest hotel? Does anyone know what their rates are like? And what are the odds of getting a taxi out to the DZ to take my drunken ass to a hotel at some ridiculous hour of the night? Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

That's would only be a problem for the guys, right? The women here don't pick up students and tandems and take them home, do they? rl I wasn't referring to taking my students home, though I can see that that it probably sounded that way. I meant, like if I was seeing a gal and then took her on a tandem, or a gal who'd previously done a tandem or two or some student jumps. I spent nearly 5 years in a relationship with one gal...took her on a bunch tandems during that span, but I don't think I'd count her as a "skydiver". Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

Assuming skydivers means "real" jumpers, not students/tandems... Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

About half-way through my first eval jump, Mr. Stokes was backsliding a bit...enough to put me a little out in front of him on his reserve side while my fellow candidate was in the same basic spot on the main side. The backslide wasn't bad enough to require us to use a tongue-signal, but it did have us driving somewhat aggressively. We both threw stable "legs out" signals right in front of Jay's face, at which point he completely straightened his legs. We were smoked, facing the wrong direction to hold position, but we both recognized it and even though Jay had told us before, "Grab below my elbows or knees and I WILL roll onto my back", we both grabbed wrists rather than letting him get behind us, but we did it simultaneously so he didn't manage to roll on us. On the ground, during the "time-in" debrief, I mentioned how a legs out signal means "about 6 inches", rather than something more drastic. His response, "Oh I remembered that, but since I saw TWO leg out signals, I figured I should go twice as far!" Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

I had a guy try to pass me on the left shoulder once while I was doing 85-ish in the fast lane in moderately heavy traffic. After noticing that the guy behind me was driving erratically, I saw him move onto the left shoulder, saw an abandoned car not far ahead on the same shoulder, and floored it to ensure that any accident would take place behind me rather than in front of me. The guy had plenty of room to get back in behind me but didn't attempt to do so until the merge was beyond his ability. He lost control getting back into the lane and caused a massive pile-up that I watched in my rear-view mirror...I'd guess at least a dozen cars were involved. Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

I have an 8 hour training class tomorrow...if I don't get some sleep tonight, I'm gonna need some of those white drugs. I'll assume you know where to find them? Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

I routinely use four...TV, DVR, DVD player, receiver. Also sitting on my coffee table today are remotes for my VCR (I actually used it a couple weeks ago!), my camera, and my media center PC. Interestingly enough, the TV, DVD player, computer, and camera are all Sony products, and none of the remotes will do everything that another will. Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

Always happy to help. Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

I think it's only 112 pricks with the needle. Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

I'm not all that enthused about seeing your brown eye winking back at me either. Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

Yes, but this was their chance to fix their dumbassed problem! (plus what the post below says...the Jets played in New York, and I think the Giants went there for a season or so during renovations to the Meadowlands). Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

or at a minimum Tylenol PM if you can't get a prescription. or two shots of liquor. Thankfully my doctor is kind-hearted and recognizes the obvious health benefits of red wine combined with ambien, a synergistic combination I thoroughly intend to exploit this evening. Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

It's frustrating to me that, so far this morning, 14,322 co-workers of mine have e-mailed me this story, 9,181 of them have called me about it, and 6,875 have come into my office to talk about it. Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

Oh I will! It's just a question of when. Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)