AndrewKarnowski
-
Content
304 -
Joined
-
Last visited
-
Feedback
0%
Everything posted by AndrewKarnowski
-
On a high school math test, Jimmy Coiner put down "Swooping" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Jimmy Coiner solves all his problems with swooping.
-
It's no use crying over spilt milk... Unless that was Jimmy Coiner’s milk. Oh, you are so screwed.
-
Jimmy Coiner could strangle you with a cordless phone.
-
If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Jimmy Coiner says its beef. Then it's fucking beef.
-
There are three leading causes of death among Bellyflyers. The first two are Jimmy Coiner, and the third one is heart attack from hearing Jimmy Coiner is coming for them.
-
Nope, he was demonstrating to Chuck Norris the PROPER way to do a round house kick.
-
Dude... It doesn't work if you do them back to back... just makes you look dumb. :-P
-
So I called jimmy's voicemail for technical support, and it will never fail again.
-
Jesus can walk on water, Jimmy Coiner can walk on Jesus
-
Jimmy Coiner was sending an email one day, when he realized that it would be faster to run.
-
The fountain of eternal youth is actually a reference to jimmy coiner and his sperm.
-
Jimmy Coiner can divide by zero
-
Contrary to popular belief, George Bush is a great speaker and rarely mispronounces words. He appears incompetent because he's nervous Jimmy Coiner might be watching.
-
Jimmy Coiner can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
-
Everytime Jimmy Coiner hears the term ‘Virgin’ Mary he laughs out loud…enough said.
-
Jimmy Coiner once participated in an orgy with 500 other people. The only survivor is now in a coma.
-
Jimmy Coiner is currently in a legal battle with the makers of Bubble Tape. Coiner claims "6 Feet of Fun" is actually the trademark for his penis.
-
Mr T was originally white, before he met Jimmy Coiner. Jimmy gave him a stare, and all of Mr T's white cells dissipated from his body. Later on, when asked why he didn't kill him, Jimmy answer "he pitied the fool". Since then, Mr.T has been trying to copy Jimmy.
-
Jesus's Birthday isn't December 25 but Jimmy Coiner once sent him a birthday card for that day, Jesus was too scared to tell Jimmy the truth. Thats why we celebrate Christmas.
-
In fine print at on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Jimmy Coiner, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever come to matching him.
-
Jimmy Coiner puts the laughter in manslaughter.
-
Sega made an arcade game once where you fought Jimmy Coiner. Every time you put a quarter in, the screen immediately displayed "You Lose". It was Sega's most popular machine ever.
-
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Jimmy Coiner allows to live.
-
Jimmy is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
-
Pee Wee Herman got arrested for masturbating in public. The same day, Jimmy Coiner got an award for masturbating in public.