AndrewKarnowski
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Everything posted by AndrewKarnowski
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Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat Jimmy Coiner. Jimmy showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded to eat himself, because it would be the less painful way to die.
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Wilt Chamberlin claims to of slept with over 20,000 women in his lifetime. Jimmy Coiner calls this “a slow Tuesday.”
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To prove it isn’t that big of a deal to beat cancer. Jimmy Coiner smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and acquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes
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Jimmy Coiner can believe it’s not butter.
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Aliens do exist, they are just waiting for Jimmy Coiner to die before they attack
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Biggie Smalls and Tupac killed each other because they heard Jimmy Coiner was rollin’ up on tha set soon.
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Jimmy Coiner is the only thing a black hole can’t suck in.
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Jimmy Coiner refers to sex as core training.
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Saddam hid in a hole because he heard we were sending in Jimmy Coiner
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Many don’t know this, but Peter Jackson is coming out with a sequel to “King Kong” known as “Jimmy Coiner”.
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Jimmy Coiner recently had the idea to sell his urine as a beverage. We know this drink as Red Bull.
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When Jimmy Coiner farts, several hundred species go extinct. Dinosaurs were around the last time Jimmy Coiner farted, let’s not hope he farts again.
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Jimmy Coiner uses staples as hair gel.
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Jimmy Coiner graduated from school with a degree in Jimmy Coiner.
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When Jimmy Coiner vomits, wealthy people scavenge it for food.
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Jimmy Coiner has a pet kitten - every night for a snack.
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Jimmy Coiner has a beautiful singing voice. Unfortunately, the sound of it would melt the average human brain.
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Jimmy Coiner's belly button is actually a power outlet.
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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Jimmy Coiner threw it.
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Jimmy Coiner likes his coffee like he likes his women: ground up, packed in a burlap sack, and thrown over the back of a donkey.
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Jimmy Coiner clips his toenails with a chain saw.
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When a tsunami happens, it’s because Jimmy Coiner has been swimming laps in the ocean.
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Some people see the glass as half full. Others see it as half empty. Jimmy Coiner see’s the glass as a deadly weapon.
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When bad things happen to good people, its probably fate. When bad things happen to Bellyflyers, it’s probably Jimmy Coiner.
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There is the right way, the wrong way, and the Jimmy Coiner way. It's basically the right way but faster and more deaths.