irishrigger

A 90 year old man is having his annual check-up. The doctor asks him how he is doing. "I've never been better!" he replies. "I have an 18 year old bride who is pregnant with my child! What do you think about that?" The doctor considers this for a moment and then says: "Well, let me tell you a story: I know a guy who is an avid hunter. He never misses a season. But one day, he is in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabs his umbrella instead of his gun. So, he walks in the woods near a creek and he spots a beaver in some brush in front of him. He raises up his umbrella, points it at the beaver and squeezes the handle. *BAM*, the beaver drops dead in front of him. "That's impossible!", says the old man in disbelief. "Someone else must have shot that beaver!" "Exactly!

+1

The Wedding "Daddy, I am coming home to get married soon, so get out your check book" "I'm in love with a boy who is far away from me. As you know, I am in Australia, and he lives in Scotland. We met on a dating website, became friends on Facebook, had long chats on Whatsapp, He proposed to me on Skype, and now we've had two months of relationship through Viber. My beloved and favorite Dad, I need your blessing, good wishes, and a really big wedding." Lots of love and thanks, Your favorite daughter, Lilly. "My Dear Lilly, Like, Wow! Really? Cool ! Whatever....., I suggest you two get married on Twitter, buy your kids on Amazon, and pay for it all through Paypal and when you get fed up with this new husband, sell him on eBay" Lots of love Dad

Sorry to hear about this. keep the faith i am sure prince charming is just around the corner for you

both very cute

Roy, an undertaker, recently came home with a black eye. "What happened to you?" asked his wife. "I had a terrible day." replied Roy . "I had to go to a hotel and pick up a man who had died in his sleep. When I got there, the manager said they couldn't get him into a body bag because he had this huge erection. Anyway, I went up and, sure enough, there was this big naked guy lying on the bed with this huge erection. So I grabbed it with both hands and tried to snap it in half." "I see" said his wife,"that must have been awful, but how did you get the black eye?" Roy replied: "Wrong room."

Hi John, what do i win???

that is the excess from the brake-lines, that have been finger trapped, the end of that has come out. it is a very simple fix that should be done before the next jump. any rigger should fix this in less than 5 min.

Darn 9 years already??? i will always remember "Hey Arsehole"

A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, "I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I'll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back." The room is quiet and no one takes up the Texan's offer. One man even leaves. Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. "Is your bet still good?", asks the Irishman. The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness. Immediately the Irishman tears into all 10 of the pint glasses drinking them all back-to-back. The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement. The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, "If ya don't mind me askin', where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?" The Irishman replies, "Oh...I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first".

Subject: Air Emergency An air traffic control tower suddenly lost communication with a small twin engine aircraft. A moment later the tower land line rang and was answered by one of the employees. The passenger riding with the pilot who lost communications was on a cellular phone and yelled: "mayday, mayday!! The pilot had an instant and fatal heart attack. I grabbed his cell phone out of his pocket and he had told me before we took off he had the tower on his speed dial memory. I am flying upside down at 18,000 feet and travelling at 180 mph. Mayday, mayday!!" The employee in the tower had put him on speaker phone immediately. "Calm down, we acknowledge you and we'll guide you down after a few questions. The first thing is not to panic, remain calm!!" He began his series of questions: Tower: "How do you know you are travelling at 18,000 feet??" Aircraft: "I can see that it reads 18,000 feet on the Altimeter dial in front of me." Tower: "Okay, that's good, remain calm. How do you know you're travelling at 180 mph?" Aircraft: "I can see that it reads 180 mph on the Airspeed dial in front of me." Tower: Okay, this is great so far, but it's heavily overcast, so how do you know you're flying upside down?" Aircraft: "The shit in my pants is running out of my shirt collar."

Weight Loss Program A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5lbs weight loss program. The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me." Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later puffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 5lbs as promised. He calls the company and orders their 5-day/10lbs program. The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me". Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape. Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 10lbs as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/25 lbs program. "Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program." "Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years." The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, you are mine." He lost 33 lbs that week..

Happy New year to all my skydiving Friends and your family's across the world. hope yous all have a great and fantastic 2016 and stay safe! Blue skies!

Many Congrats!

A Priest was about to finish his tour of duty, and was leaving his Mission in the jungle where he has spent years teaching the natives, when he realizes that the one thing he never taught them was how to speak English.So he takes the chief for a walk in the forest. He points to a tree and says to the chief, "This is a tree." The chief looks at the tree and grunts, "Tree." The Priest is pleased with the response. They walk a little further and he points to a rock and says, "This is a rock." Hearing this, the chief looks and grunts, "Rock." The Priest was really getting enthusiastic about the results when he hears a rustling in the bushes. As they peek over the top, he sees a couple of natives in the midst of heavy sexual activity. The Priest is really flustered and quickly responds, "Man riding a bike." The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blowgun and kills them. The Priest goes ballistic and yells at the chief that he has spent years teaching the tribe how to be civilized and be kind to each other, so how could he kill these people in cold blood that way? The chief replied, "My Bike"

Have Speedy Recovery

I have also seen this on Facebook.couple points i like to make, first of all that a packer actually packed it without realizing this, i would seriously be scared to see the rest of the pack job. but the biggest issue i have with it why this was not Caught in a Routine Gear check? this rig should never have made it onto the jumpers back, let alone onto an aircraft and hell no before jumping out!

Yea he would have made a great running back

Very sad news out of New Zealand this evening. Jonah Lomu,one of the best Rugby players of all time and one of my rugby hero's passed away today at the age of only 40. he will always be remembered for his appearances the World Cup of 1995 in South Africa. he was an incredible Athlete, being 6'5 and about 250lbs and was still able to run the 100 meters in 10.3 seconds!! once he got running with the ball he was almost impossible to stop as the video below will prove. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-FkJ1Wp9iko RIP Jonah

Hi, as you will see by the Responses, the best way forward is to go tour your rigger and explain what is going on. he should make time to inspect all of the gear, including Line trim check and also check you Pilot chute and Kill Line. if he cant find an issue with the gear, it is down to packing or body position. what way do you stow your lines in the container? do you fold your excess lines under the reserve tray or do they go straight down to the bottom of the container? get someone to film your opening and that should make it clear if it is a problem with Body Position. Rodger

Yahoo, many congratulations!

Excellent

many congrats

i was asked to sign a contract like that in another country and i refused and said i would just walk away, they took the clause out, i am not a legal qualified person but i would have thought it be illegal for anyone to restrict you from working. i have a feeling that you could fight this but would it be worth the expense? surprised to hear that a court has already decided that you cannot work and already preventing you from doing so. i sincerely hope you get this sorted out and in the mean time all the very best to your partner and i hope they make a full recovery.