MF42
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Everything posted by MF42
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I knew a guy who could fart the Star Spangled Banner. Usually just the first couple of lines, but we loaded him up with pizza once and he got through the whole song. Matt
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I can dislocate my left knee anytime I want, but it sucks every bit as much as you might think, so I try to avoid it. I can do the gross cheek-flapping noise, where you blow some air past one cheek till it flaps and sprays spit all over the place. Kids like that one. Matt
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Oct. 17th, 2002.
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Cold pizza is a great breakfast. Reminds me of good times back in school. Matt
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A car's youth is no guarantee of being curse free. I say we properly exorcise all its gremlins by allowing that car to experience the joy of flight. Would it be possible to sit in the car as it rolls off the tailgate, then bail out and pull? Please say it's a convertible! If it isn't a convertible, ten minutes and a sawz-all will fix that problem. Matt
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I live in an apartment, and it's a good thing, 'cause I despise mowing shit that's just going to grow again. The flower beds 'round here are tended by a fairly hot woman who always wears just shorts and a bra.
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Wouldn't You Like To Be A MF42 Too? Uh-oh, Better Get MF42.
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Pretty girls x4!
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One of my favorite Kipling stories.
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A zip code is a five digit number necessary to mail something to an address in the US. Some sites/services require it for various regional licensing agreements. Since you don't have one, just use 90210.
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Makes me proud to see so many former lurkers standing up in the clear daylight. Mountain Dew for everyone!
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41 (and counting) hours worked in the last three days/ 0 / 0 I'm tired, but at this rate I'll be able to afford skydiving again before winter.
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It's kind of fun.
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Pepper jack goes good with everything. Matt
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Hello former lurkers! Nice to meet you.
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Does this describe just one person? A lesbian dominatrix nun? Matt
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The fjords of Norway look great! I read that someone won an award for designing them. He only got the award because fjords were fashionable that year. Matt
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I'm on call this weekend. Already went in to work, packed the van, drove to a diiferent airport, opened up a Challenger, and discovered that the geniuses shipped the wrong part. Returned to the shop, unloaded the van, came back home. At least I get paid four hours of overtime for accomplishing nothing at all. Matt
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I think he prefers POOFTER What's the difference between gay, homo, and poofter? Is it just varying degrees of PCness? Matt
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Come on, you know you want to. All the cool kids are doing it.
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I'm a moper. I know it doesn't do any good, and I shouldn't do it, but I just mope anyway. Matt
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Posting in the Bonfire after 2 AM is a little like NASA sending Pioneer 10 out into the beyond. I lovingly craft my post, knowing that once it's launched it has to survive without me. It flies away into the night, seeking only to communicate with far away neighbors. It's such a small vessel in such a wide sea; how will it ever be seen? But unlike Pioneer 10, my posts don't include pics of a naked woman who bears an unsettling resemblance to my mother. Mom's boobies: Earth's ambassadors to the stars. Matt
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One day we were told to rearrange the hangar to make room for a wrecked airplane that was being hauled in on a truck. We don't see truly wrecked planes very often, so they're kind of a morbidly fascinating attraction; everybody has to have a close look and offer opinions about what happened. When the truck showed up, I opened the hangar door, then felt nauseous when I recognized the twisted remains of a Cessna 152 that I had inspected and pronounced airworthy a few months earlier. Eventually I learned that both occupants walked away from the crash, and the pilot admitted to trying to stretch the fuel too far. He ran the tanks dry, attempted to land in a very tight spot, one wingtip caught the ground, and the plane spun into a tree. Lucky he wasn't killed. The moment when my worst fear seemed realized, when I thought I had made a mistake that killed someone, that was the worst part of my job. May it never be repeated. Matt
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I never learned to produce a good armpit fart. The best I can manage is a soft, ladylike "whiff" noise. Blowing on the bicep is much preferred, IMHO. Lots of bass and volume. Matt
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Yes! That's the noise! I was frustrated at work, interpreting some poorly written instructions for modifying wheel pants. The instructions were comprised of several paragraphs, diagrams, and mathematical formulas, involving a ludicrous amount of measuring distances and finding tangents to curves, all to communicate this thought: "The wheel pants fit too closely to the wheels. Trim the bottom material back about one inch." The experience inspired me to create excessively complex instructions for the simplest and silliest thing I could think of, and hope somebody thought it was funny. Good job finding the video.