Slappie

Memo: To all Staff As our company has to make drastic cuts in spending, volunteers are needed to commit suicide. This will substantially reduce our salary bill. Employees wishing to participate in this scheme are asked to assemble on the roof of the offices on alternate Fridays. Participants will be marked on the difficulty of their dive and the highest scorer will receive greatly enhanced Death In Service benefits. This action, in view of it's voluntary nature, will not affect your Pension rights, however, participating staff are asked to avoid landing on Company Cars as this will cost more money than is saved, which would be counter productive and could cause injury to non-participating spectators. Non-participants are therefore asked to be vigilant and to keep glancing skywards on these days of action. It would also be appreciated if non-participants would give every assistance to the cleaners in clearing up after the event. Bodies will be disposed of in waste skips in the car park and staff are therefore asked to ensure they keep moving on these days to avoid being inadvertently mistaken for successful participants. Any staff participating will be allowed to change his/her mind until reaching the top floor, after which it will be impossible for the attending Occupational Health and Safety representative to get into a "Catching Position". The Company hopes to obtain a set reduction in staff through this scheme and it must therefore be considered one of our most worthwhile projects to date. Should the scheme be over-subscribed, a waiting list will be introduced. To assist the cleaners, it would be appreciated if all participants could take with them onto the roof a large black plastic bag (available from the stationery room). If they could climb into the bag just prior to the jump, this will certainly ease congestion at ground level. It is important that the projected jumps are shown on your department's staff planning charts so that work can be re-distributed to your colleagues to cause minimum disruption to the company. Please note: any participant choosing to jump outside normal working hours will not be paid overtime. Regards Management {Sorry to whom ever I offend but I thought this was fitting for some of the people I know and the sitituations their in} My New Website with 24hr Chat

shhhhhhhhhhhhh skreamer!! Your going to have the Child Welfare Dept down on her and Merrick before I can get my necklace!! So pipe down!

Pretty dark but it kinda looks like B&B Airpark My New Website with 24hr Chat

You keep forgeting to load up the picture Also try and find B & B Airport in Rosharon Texas.. That's Skydive Spaceland. I'll give you a brownie button if it's in there. My New Website with 24hr Chat

Wheres MINE?? (stomping feet and throwing childish fit!) My New Website with 24hr Chat

Where?? DuH!? My New Website with 24hr Chat

Why not? I bet if I was a woman with nice boobs I'd get all the coach jumps I wanted for free too!! I'd just wear a real skimpy outfit under my jumpsuit... Hell if I was a COACH I'd like to coach women too.... My New Website with 24hr Chat

shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I got away fool!! Don't let everyone know!! LMAO BTW I was never on "COPS" I might be though for hunting down an Aggie and skinning them alive!! My New Website with 24hr Chat

I'll jump with ya as soon as I'm healthy. But you gota promise I go out first and you don't play in my burble! I wanna keep you infront of me at all times! My New Website with 24hr Chat

He forgot to add watch your boobies in freefall!! My New Website with 24hr Chat

Another definition* *** Definition for pooh-bah ... *** n : an arrogant or conceited person of importance [syn: {high-muck-a-muck}] *** End of definition. My New Website with 24hr Chat

I'll be there this weekend too. No jumps for me but I can stand around and whine alot!! looking forward to meeting you folks!! Won't be staying for the night festivities. Have a Longhorns vs. Buffalos game to watch!! GO HORNS!!!!!!!!!!!!! My New Website with 24hr Chat

FallingMarc I hear ya! I sat around on pain meds drinkin Bloody Marys watching TLC and the Junk Yard Wars Marathon all day! My New Website with 24hr Chat

Couple of Jagermeisters do the trick everytime!! My New Website with 24hr Chat

Not enough I would think!!!!! My New Website with 24hr Chat

I don't remember ever asking to borrow velcro gloves? And for what reason would I need vecro gloves? I'm at a loss as what to say? I think you Brits/SA's have been playin with the peyote buttons jez brought back from AZ to much!! My New Website with 24hr Chat

Aint it a BLAST!!! I swear if it wasn't for us "sane" induviduals then the world would be a very boring place. skreamer with your record so far I have one thing to say... "People in Glass Houses shouldn't Throw Stones" My New Website with 24hr Chat

Early one morning slip into his office while he is out and slip 4 tabs of ACID in his coffee. I can tell you by lunch time he will either have flipped out and got fired or wound up in a mental hospital... I know it sounds kinda wild but it could work.. Or use his phone to make crank calls to other Head-Honchos in the office leaving seriously sexual messages to the ladies, use his email account for the same purpose. Nothing gets a person fired faster then an impending Sexual Harrassment Lawsuit!! My New Website with 24hr Chat

This is pretty bad, go to a site that masks your IP and sign your boss up for all the Sexual Deviate sites you can find.. It's hilarious!! My New Website with 24hr Chat

Only an Aussie would come up with something like this!!

I just got back from my follow up visit with the doctor {Nazi Bastards} Sooooooooo I'm definetly grounded for 5 more weeks in the figure eight brace.. Then he said he doesn't want me to jump for at least 2 to 3 months after that. Says I could break it again, because the new bone won't be strong enough to handle the pressures of skydiving. So here I sit all gloomy... Wishing I had the cash to get drunk and forget the bad news I wouldn't wish this on anyone cept maybe a certain person here... I'll not mention user-names but I'm sure you can figure it out "Tool #2" as a certain person called them. Seriously everyone be safe.. My New Website with 24hr Chat

Ya think? My New Website with 24hr Chat

Let me start off as another "broken" skydiver to another. I can feel your pain. I'm so glad your ok and are going to make a full recorvery!! But I need to add lay off the Peyote before bedtime. It will drasticly reduce your chances of trying to fly from a 3rd story window in the middle of the night... Just my .02

LMFAO!!!!! Go gemini!!! HORNS FOR NATIONAL CHAMPS!!!!!!!! Screw Florida and their teams!! TEXAS IS FOOTBALL!!!! *Putting on Flame retardent suit* My New Website with 24hr Chat

AggieDave are you speaking in tongues again? I swear lay of the wine this early in the AM!! You still didn't answer me if you liked Fridays game as much as I did? My New Website with 24hr Chat