SkydiveMonkey

I just "flip" sideways when I'm on my back and arch. When I grow up, I want to be a post whore

You can offset the time in the control panel if you're in a different zone to the server. When I grow up, I want to be a post whore

So? When I grow up, I want to be a post whore

Nice one Gman !!! When I grow up, I want to be a post whore

You must have twatted someone before ??!!! It releases a lot of stress When I grow up, I want to be a post whore

ONE-POINT OFFICE DARES 1) Run one lap around the office at top speed. 2) Groan out loud in the bathroom cubicle (at least one other 'non-player' must be in the bathroom at the time). 3) Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you. 4) Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye". 5) To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace. 6) When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily, "Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!". 7) Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say,"Sorry, I really prefer it this way". 8) Walk sideways to the photocopier. 9) While riding an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open. THREE-POINTS DARES 1) Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barreled fingers. 2) Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it". 3) Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice). 4) Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player' within sight). 5) Shout random numbers while someone is counting. FIVE POINT DARES 1) At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points you actually launch into it yourself). 2) Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times. 3) For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob". 4) Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a number two". 5) After every sentence, say 'mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in "the report's on your desk, mon". Keep this up for one hour. 6) While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator. 7) In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!". 8) At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce "As God is my witness; I'll never go hungry again". 9) In a colleague's diary, write in 10am: "See how I look in tights". 10) Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna trade?" 11) Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person:"Do you hear that?" "What?""Never mind, it's gone now". 12) Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it". 13) Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go. 14) Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very important conference call. 15) Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk. 16) Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out. When I grow up, I want to be a post whore

KENNY, THE ROOSTER Well, Kenny the rooster costs a lot of money, but the farmer decides he'd be worth it. So, he buys Kenny. The farmer takes Kenny home and sets him down in the barnyard, first, giving the rooster a pep talk. I want you to pace yourself now. You've got a lot of chickens to service here, and you cost me a lot of money. Consequently, I'll need you to do a good job. So, take your time and have some fun," the farmer said, with a chuckle. Kenny seemed to understand, so the farmer pointed toward the Hen house and Kenny took off like a shot. WHAM!- Kenny nails every hen in the hen house-three or four times, and the farmer is really shocked. After that the farmer hears a commotion in the duck pen, sure enough, Kenny is in there. Later, the farmer sees Kenny after a flock of geese, down by the lake. Once again - WHAM! He gets all the geese. By sunset he sees Kenny out in the fields chasing quail and pheasants. The farmer is distraught and worried that his expensive rooster won't even last 24 hours. Sure enough, the farmer goes to bed and wakes up the next day, to find Kenny on his back, stone cold in the middle of the yard. vultures are circling overhead. The farmer, saddened by the loss of such a colorful and expensive animal, shakes his head and says, "Oh, Kenny, I told you to pace yourself. I tried to get you to slow down, now look what you've done to yourself." Kenny opens one eye, nods toward the vultures circling in the sky and says, "Shhh, they're getting closer". When I grow up, I want to be a post whore

that is bad !! But i like it !! When I grow up, I want to be a post whore

It's beautiful here in Plymouth !!

I'm not a AFF-I (not by a long shot), but below 2500 you're on your own. You should be big and ugly enough to take care of yourself. Just my opinion, no flames etc intended

Talk about pickey !! When I grow up, I want to be a post whore

You cut the engine? We don't. If your last out, you've got less altitude to play with

You forgot to mention that you shout "5 left" to the diver and open the door !! When I grow up, I want to be a post whore

But what you don't see is about 10 seconds after where there's bits of cat everywhere When I grow up, I want to be a post whore

.... I shall fear no evil, cos I'm the meanest son of a bitch in the valley !! When I grow up, I want to be a post whore

We ain't never gonna see that !! When I grow up, I want to be a post whore

Identical twins Joe and John were identical twins. Joe owned an old dilapidated boat and kept pretty much to himself. One day he rented out his boat to a group of out-of-staters who ended up sinking it. He spent all day trying to salvage as much stuff as he could from the sunken vessel and was out of touch all that day and most of the evening. Unbeknownst to him, his brother John's wife had died suddenly in his absence. When he got back on shore he went into town to pick up a few things at the grocery store. A kind old woman there mistook him for John and said, "I'm so sorry for your loss. You must feel terrible." Joe, thinking she was talking about his boat said, "Hell no! Fact is I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always holding water. She had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy." "I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to those four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good and that she smelled bad. But they wanted her anyway. The damn fools tried to get in her all at one time and she split right up the middle." With that the old woman fainted. When I grow up, I want to be a post whore

Yeah, the new Mirage ones have a stiffner behind them. You can also get ones with a pocket one them (Tandem style) so you can put your thumb in. When I grow up, I want to be a post whore

You could always download a copy of mIRC or another IRC client

I have a clone When I grow up, I want to be a post whore

Hey HH, Cheers man !!! It's cool how you keep this place free. Keep up the good work. 3 cheers for HH !!!

I've seena student cut away a good main cos the slider came down and started flapping. Cut away and same thing happened on the reserve !! lol When I grow up, I want to be a post whore

irginity like bubble, one prick, all gone. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man who run in front of car get tired. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man who run behind car get exhausted. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man with one chopstick go hungry. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man who eat many prunes get good run for money. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Panties not best thing on earth! but next to best thing on earth. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man who drive like hell, bound to get there. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man who stand on toilet is high on pot. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man who fart in church sit in own pew. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Crowded elevator smell different to midget. When I grow up, I want to be a post whore

In a city park stood two beautiful statues, one female and the other male -- both nude. These two statues faced each other for many, many years (Naked, remember!). Early one morning an angel appeared before the statues and said, "The two of you have been truly exemplary statues and have brought enjoyment to many people that have visited the park over the years. I am hereby authorized by God to give you the greatest wish that can be bestowed on you. I grant you the gift of life -- albeit as a limited offer. You have 30 minutes to do whatever your hearts desire." And with that command, the two statues came to life. They smiled at each other, slowly moved their limbs about in wonderment, looked all around and then at their own bodies and finally back at each other. Still smiling they then ran to the nearby woods and dived behind a large bush. The angel smiled to herself as she listened to the giggling, bushes rustling and twigs snapping. Even angels knew of such things! After fifteen minutes, the two statues emerged from the bushes, looking extremely satisfied and wearing nothing but even bigger smiles than before. Puzzled, the angel looked at her watch and said to them, "You still have fifteen minutes. Wouldn't you like to continue?" The male statue looked at the female and asked, "Do you want to do it again?" "OH, YES!", the female statue replied. "But this time YOU hold the pigeon down and I'll shit on it's head!" When I grow up, I want to be a post whore

I'm in my cage - and there's a brand new lock on it this week !! When I grow up, I want to be a post whore