Candy

My last jump under student status, we're just getting ready to bail out of the door, my instructor leans into my face and says "You're one of us now". Yeah.......that was a good feeling.

If you find any blue or orange ones......they're probably from the orchard we play paint-ball in.

ChaosKitty.....DON'T DO IT!!! I'm sure you will look gorgeous no matter how you wear your hair, but still, wear it long until it falls out.

Wow.......what a way to go Most definitely....please, let me be the first to volunteer. Nice new Avatar Grue, me likey.

Wow.......what a way to go

What's your sign? My avatar is mine.......Most Difficult.

Hey NWFlyer, It was fun meeting you this weekend. Enjoy your road trip!! Candy

Hello to all my dz.com friends whom I haven't spoken to in awhile.*** Yeah Windcatcher, where ya been? Glad to see your doing well and having fun.

Right on Jeth! Have fun and stay safe

Hey Girl - Happy Birthday!!!

Mud is good, do you like Rocks? Here are some pictures of the trail I ran last weekend in Johnson Valley, Ca. Candy

When I was in highschool I worked at a local convenience store in the evenings for a little extra fun money. There was a group of neighborhood hoodlums that hung out there at night and ride their BMX bikes in the parking lot. When it would get late and they'd promise to be on their best behavior, I'd let them come in and read the comic books and magazines. We'd joke around and cut on each other, it was fun, they would keep me entertained and I would keep them out of trouble. One night they all ganged up on me and started teasing me about my little brother, they were cutting on him because he had a big nose and stuff. That hurt my feelings, I loved my little brother. I told them "Hey you guys, stop that, don't make fun of him". I told'em "You know, when he was a baby he fell over in the bathtub and broke his nose, thats why he has a big nose". They all laughed at me, one of the little brats looked over at me and asked....."Did he break his ears too"? (I had to laugh at that one) Little shits, I loved those kids! P.S. My Brother did end up growing into that nose (and his ears too). -

20. Do you mind if I sip my Beer? I have a terrible case of cotton mouth.

No Shit! That could have been a really, really bad situation. If that would have happened, they'd probably still be looking for me out in the desert (or, maybe not). Candy

A couple of weeks ago I told a story about making my husband scream like a girl, this kinda pissed him off, he said he didn't appreciate it, he said that I made him look like an idiot (which I didn't, it was just a story). I asked him if it would make him feel any better, if I were to tell a story where I were to make myself look like an idiot? He said Yeah..........so here we go.......... Before I tell this story, you have to understand, Bear is a big dog and I have long hair. One Friday night a couple of years ago we were heading out on a camping trip, we had been on the road for hours and it was late, way after midnight. We were heading into a new area and all I had to go off of was a map out of an old trail guide. I knew we were getting close, I could just feel it, I kept telling Angelo "just a few more minutes, we're almost there, really, we're almost there". My dog Bear had been whining for about an hour, I knew he was excited and wanted out. I was sitting in the middle seat and Bear was standing on the passenger seat, with his head hanging out the window. I had reached up and pushed his hip making him spin around in the seat, telling him "Hey, get your butt, outta my face"! He was then facing the windshield, still whining. Three seconds later I heard PPPPPFFFFFFTTTTT...............THUD and was completely overcome with the smell of hot wet dog shit (a six pound blast of smoldering, hot wet dog shit) I couldn't breath, I was suffocating, I managed to get just enough air to let out a blood curdling scream and was instantly bawling. Angelo slammed on the brakes, pitching the truck sideways, he looked at me with an astonished look and said "Whats Wrong"!?! I looked up at him, all I could say was.....he shi.....he shi....."HE SHIT IN MY HAIRRRR.....WHAA"! Angelo looked at my so puzzled, he couldn't understand what I was saying, it wasn't registering, it was like I was speaking a foreign language. Then it hit him.....the SMELLLL, and so did I, like a freight train, heading over his lap and out his open window. He grabbed the handle on the door, the door flew open, we both fell out of the truck and onto the ground. The dog, he ran right over the top of us. From there the scene was complete mayhem, the truck spun out in the middle of the road, in the middle of the night, lights on, door hanging open, Angelo on all fours next to it, choking. Bear, running in circles, in that stance, you know, the one they do when they go to the bathroom, all four feet together and tail sticking straight out. I was running across the desert floor, screaming and crying....."My Hair.....My Hair.....I CAN'T BELIEVE THE DOG FUCKING SHIT IN MY HAIR.....we're going home.....WE ARE GOING HOME"!!! ( I couldn't stop running, I knew as long as I ran, my hair would be flying in the wind behind me and it wouldn't touch me. I ran and I cried.) Angelo was finally able to catch me and get me to calm down enough to sit down on a rock, he took a flash light and thoroughly inspected my head. He was finally able to convince me that I had NO dog shit in my hair. We slowly and cautiously walked back to the truck, neither one of us in a hurry to get there. We stopped just short of the truck, stood there and stared at it, walked around it a few times, peeking inside. We kind of bickered back and forth about who was going to clean it up. I finally volunteered, seeing as how Bear was my dog (and I did make him smell my hair to prove that there was no dog shit in it, hee hee). Luckily we had covers on the seats, I carefully removed the cover and rolled it up, put it in a plastic trash bag, double bagged it, triple bagged it and stuck it down in the deepest darkest corner of the truck bed. We camped right on the side of the road that night. We figured if a Ranger or a Game Warden were to come by and give us a hard time, we would tell them our story and maybe they would cut us some slack (and not give us anymore shit). Eventually, we all recovered form that night (even the seat, get it) and we learned a big lesson. These days when on a road trip, I don't care where we are, I don't care what we're doing, Bear speaks and we listen. And I have never, ever, said those six little words to him again, you know....."Hold on Bubba, We're almost there". Thanks for listening, Candy

I hear ya, I tried several times to change mine, I finally got so frustrated, I said fer-get it. Now I don't have an icon. Candy

A little girl walks into her mothers bedroom one morning, looks at her mother and says "Mommy, I know where babies come from". The mother turns and looks down at her little girl, "You do? Well where's that"? The little girl looks up at her mother, placing her hands on her hips and says "It's when daddy, puts his thing, in your mouth". The mother chuckles softly and says "Oh sweetie, thats not where babies come from......thats where Jewelry comes from".

HappyThoughts, C'mon man, whos side are you on anyway? He is a non-jumper you know (don't know if that makes any difference to you are not, just thought I'd throw it out there, just in case). Besides that, he's getting the last laugh. He knows, that I know, he'll get the one-up, so all I can do now is wait. Don't know when, don't know how.....but I do know that I don't have to worry about him feeding me one of those things, because he's too freaking scared of them...hee hee hee.

Pretty funny huh, He didn't think so, He swears he's gonna make me EAT one of those things. Maybe you'll read about it in my next post Candy

My husband is afraid of spiders. We live out in the country and every spring and summer we get these big narly white ones, ugly, not from this world kind of freaky looking. Big thick white bodies with short stocky white legs, their fast and make the strongest webs I've ever seen. The other night I was in the shower when my husband ran into the bathroom, quite panicked, I could seen through the shower door that he was checking himself out thoroughly in the full length mirror. Checking his back, shoulders, back of his neck, back of his legs and he pulled out the back of his shirt and was shaking it out. He finally calmed down a little and started walking toward the shower, I could still hear the terror in his voice as he started to describe his run in with "one of those things". So I opened up the shower door to talk to him (and being mean, as I am) I looked right at his collar bone and went....Awe!!! Oh my Ga.....and that was it, he flipped out! He started running around that bath room like some kind of wild banshee, jumping up and down, flipping back and forth, arms flailing, hitting himself in the head, the back, the stomach, all the while making these high-pitched squeeling screaming sounds, like nothing I've ever heard come out of him. It was F*@king Hilarious (i'm still laughing). Needless to say, I was almost drowned that night, but to me......it was worth it!!

Don't say that, my dog Bear has been a huge part of my life for the past eleven years and for a part of that time he was the only family I had. Candy

I've never had any two-legged children, heres a picture of my four-legged child, he is 11 years old. My husband and I decided a long time ago that we wanted to be the kids in the family. C

O'kay......I know how to spell Mojave, Opps. And maybe there weren't thousands of them, but there were a lot, hundreds maybe (guess I get a little excited). C. Ferrari

Skid PL8 you Smart Ass, you trying to cause trouble again? John, Thats really cool, have fun and dig hard. I've run into quite a few Petroglyphs while hiking in the Mohave Desert in California. One time I had an Old Man turn me on to a secret place at a natural spring, there were thousands of them carved into the rocks, made my hair stand up on end. Wish we knew more about them and what they meant. There were even some names carved into the rocks by some guys who had found it in 1911, Dip Shits. Have fun and let us know what you find. Candy

Sorry to hear about your friend, hope he gets better soon. I would like to hear more about Chute 'n Shoot, I've heard of Parashooting...same thing? Could you hook me up with some info. Thanks Candy