Michele

Today. Today will make the decision for me...keep jumping, or quit? Stay in the sky and learn how to come down safely, or stop altogether? After 3 hours' sleep, I haul my ass out of bed, and move through my morning ritual...and pack up my stuff, make sure I have my log book, and climb into the car. Driving through the predawn, I wonder...is today the day I crash and burn, or am I teachable? Can I learn, or will I put the Spectre on the market? When I come home this way tonight, I will know. I will have made that decision. Gloomy weather greets me, overcast, foggy, cold. I am alone at the DZ...I guess I came a little early. I get a cup of coffee, and check in at manifest. We talk a bit about Shannon's accident, and Bob's accident, and I wonder, again, is this sport for me? I sit outside of the team room, contemplating my toes...people start trickling in, and I know some of them. Hugs are exchanged, and backs patted, encouragement offered and accepted. Heidi comes over, and tells me she's taking the class too. She has 280 jumps, and is trying to downsize because she wants a new container and it needs a smaller main. Her goal is to get into the main she wants by the last jump of the class. She asks me what my goal is, and I respond "to see if I can land". She asks me how many jumps I have, and I tell her 40. I go back to staring at my toes. I don't grasp technical things easily - I don't have that kind of learning ability. I wonder if I am going to be able to learn, or if I just threw out $278 for nothing. I can feel my brain seizing already. My toes look interesting if I stare at them long enough. I need new tennis shoes... 8:45 am and the guys get there, and Jim opens the teamroom we will be using today. Me and Heidi go inside, and get settled. I pull out my notebook, and start taking notes. I am lost at this point, because I don't have a clue; he is working with Heidi on gear selection, and whatnot; I don't mind, though, because I can learn from this - maybe not right now, but sometime. The class moves forward, and we discuss many things - cords, spans, aspect ratios; angle of attack and angle of incidence, and what the difference is, and how the difference feels; the 3 senses used in flying. Wingloading, differences in canopies and sizes, and why they are totally different and will fly differently even at the same wing loading. The four ways to control the canopy; turbulence; landing safely. Speed, lift, low pressure and high pressure, crossbraced and non-elliptical canopies. How to establish a sight pattern at 2500, how to identify where you want to land. How to determine from where you landed what you need to do next time to land where you want to. How to analyze by the way you land what was wrong, and make the corrections for the next time. The different parts of canopy flight; opening sequence, flight, and landing. And sometime during this long and complicated sorting of puzzle pieces, I feel a little click...I say "hey, did you see that?" and Jim and Heidi look at me...."the lightbulb over my head. Did you guys see that?" They laugh. Something made sense, finally. Something about reaching and rubberbands connecting arms and legs during the flare. Something about line lengths, spans and stall points....it's like finding the key to the puzzle for me. And all of a sudden, I am participating in the class, not just taking notes and hoping something will make sense, but having it actually connect, click, register. I finally get some of it! Not all of it, not even half of it, but some of it. Well, at least on the ground. But I have no idea if everything will leave once I'm in the air... 1 pm, and it's cleared up, not gloomy but still chilly. Jim and I talk a little bit about jumping the 230 and not the 210, which I brought, and we decide together that this would be the optimum time to start on the 210. Jim asks me what color my canopy is, and I tell him green and purple, with a big yellow center cell...kinda like me, bruised and chicken. He laughs, gives me a hug, and says "you're gonna be fine". I count the stitches in my shoes....I want to be fine, but I dunno. I just dunno. And we decide that I'll jump in jeans, and several shirts, not a jumpsuit, because I don't want to wear the jumpsuit today for some reason. We are on a 20 minute call - and I am feeling rushed, hurried...I throw on my gear, and catch up to Clint, who will be jumping with me for the first high alti clear and pull...I am fussing with my chest strap and trying to listen to the exercises Clint wants me to do, and trying to be able to accomplish both. I don't want to get on the plane without being fully geared and ready, but Clint's going up the stairs, so I follow him. How he's going to keep up with me while I am flying the 210 and he is flying something so much smaller and at such a higher wingloading I don't understand, and resign myself to not having him near me...I finally get the chest strap dealt with as we start to roll down the runway. Clint leans over, and talks me through the jump again...pull, check, stall. Stall. Stall. Stall. Stall. Check brake lines. Stall stall stall. Rear risers. Rear risers. Rear risers, stall. Follow him around the sky. Stall. 2500, he will leave me, and I need to watch him land, and set up for my landing on the grass with the target. O.K., thinks me, I can do this. Even if he's not near me, I know what I'm supposed to get done, I can do this. 6K, and Clint asks me what I'm supposed to do on the jump. "Get out and pull", I say and can feel my brain lock down. What else? Oh shit, what else? Ohmigod, I have forgotten what else. "Um, control check", shit, now, here's the fear. I realize I am sitting next to the door, and my heart pounds. I'm going to be jumping a canopy smaller than I'm used to, and fuck, I can't remember! It's like hitting a brick wall in my mind, I can feel the thoughts pushing, but not going anywhere. Clint laughs at me. "Getting out and pulling's a good start"....his eyes are twinkling, and he is laughing. I take a few deep breaths from my belly, and can taste the panic in my mouth, sharp, dry, metallic. Fuck! 10K and it's time to get ready...goggles on, helmet on, please God, I've forgotten, help...Green light. Heidi goes, Luigi follows. I watch them out and see their canopies open. My turn. Breathe, Michele, breathe. Climb out, swing leg, launch off, tumble, tumble, tumble...arch, breathe, relax, arch, reach, pull....and out my canopy comes... There and square. Reach up to collapse the slider. Well, that's not much of a reach. Pull the stowing ropes, feel them pop to the final point, and the slider is right in my face. Hmmm. What to do with this? I can't see in front of me with this thing here. Push it back up over the top of the risers, make mental note - find out what to do with this. Pop brakes. Control check. Look around - where is Heidi, Luigi? There they are - way far away from me. Good. Where's Clint? Nowhere in sight. O.K., time to start checking this canopy out. Stall....well, full flare, and my hands are down past my hips, and I am not stalling. Release. I see something out of the corner of my eye, there Clint is....swooping down at me. I flinch, and then remember that this is a guy who knows what he's doing, and don't turn out of his way. Let him come to me. How the hell is he doing that? He's staying level with me. How the fuck is that happening. Majik risers, I guess. He motions "stall" at me, so I do it again. And again, and again...holding it down for a slow count to 8...and feel the most slightest tremor in the lines, but I am at maximun extension, I can't go any farther....and still, no stall. And it's really, really cold. My ears are hurting. No time for worrying about that, here comes Clint again... Clint flies really near me to my right, and screams "rear risers now". I grab the left rear riser, and pull as hard as I can, really holding it there. I swing out and around, and complete a 360, and let it up. Clint's right there with me...and now, right rear riser turn...360...and again, and again. Clint comes close, and says "both now", rear riser flares...and I try, but I can't get them to go very far or do very much...and now Clint is flying off, and I follow, swirling and dancing through the damp cold air. Turning, circling, sashaying, a pas de deux with a red canopy in the blue sky. Over the hangar now, and Clint sets up to land. I follow, and get into position. I turn onto final very high, though, and know I will not make the target. So I look to see where it's likely I will land, sailing over the grass area, now overshooting the grass by about 25 feet. Flare, full extension, and touch down...and then to my knees. My forward speed was not gone so I tumbled to my knees. BUT NOT MY FACE!!!!!! I look over at Clint who has landed about 20 feet to my left, and smile. "Girl, why'd you fall? Use your feet, o.k.?" Jim comes over, and says great timing on the flare, that's fine. Let's go see the video and watch what you did and why you still had speed. We get back over to the packing area, shuck our gear, and get to the video. There it is, the top of my flare is far too fast, and I plane out at about 8 feet...and then there's not much left for the end. We determine that the risers are way too small for me - they're 18 inches, and I need 21 inches. That will make a huge difference in no winds, but for today, they are o.k. And that's why the slider was in my face too. I don't need to yank that hard, I guess... Time to go again, and this time I'm ready. Gear on, fear gone, in the plane, up to 5, and out I go. Tumble spin...arch, breathe...pull. Out, open, there, square. Rear risers. More rear risers. Find the dz, get there, play. Stall...well, still not there, and I'm not taking wraps...so play. Toggles, risers, back to toggles. 360, 720's....swing out from underneath...feeling and seeing and listening...the class is making more and more sense...2.5K, landing set up...sight picture, plan, play a little more. Everything is so quiet, just me and the canopy. Just me hooting again, sceaming exhuberantly into the blue, into the heavens, into the world. I can do this shit! I understand it! I grock this shit! But gawd, my arms hurt....landing time, now, and I realize I've played too long...I will not make the grass. I've gotten off the windline, and will not make it back. I flat turn onto final, and full flight, breathe, breathe, and slowly, gently, smoothly flare and set down in BFE on my toes, no steps, no stumbles, nothing but toes...and throw down my helmet because I didn't plan it right, and was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay out there...past the canals, past the dirt bike area. It's gonna be a long walk back. And then I grin, and do the Snoopy happy dance, because even if it wasn't near, it was right, gentle and easy, and I am bursting with hope and pride. I walk back to the packing area, and drop my gear. JC asks me "hey, Michele...where'd you land?" and I reply "Hemet"...Jim tells me that he can't critique this one because it was too far away, but he did get it taped. We'll watch the tape, but this jump doesn't count because he can't really give me any help. We do watch the tape, and you really can't see anything other than how nicely I land. I look at Jim, and say "well, I landed perfectly. Now teach me to swoop", and he cracks up. One last jump for today, and so I gear up and get over to the plane. JC is coming up with another student, but is sitting at the door. He and I talk about where to exit, how to determine where to be at what point in the air, and now it's time. Door opens, we lean out, spot the dz, and finalize my exit point. I look down at JC, and grin. He grins back, all crinkly, and says "GOOD JUMP!!!!" and I nod. Take a breath, and out I go, tumbling through the greyblue of the sky, and arch...pull, and there I am, under canopy. I look over and see the plane, flying silver cylindar etched against the crisp blue sky above the ground mist, and realize again what this is: it's flying. I am awash in the awe and wonder again, on jump 43...alone, in the sky, touching the universe, in this solitary moment. Just me and the sky, me and the world, gently blending...infinitesimally small, but made large by the grandness of this moment, this union, this experience. I play, now. I dance, soloing for the angels, playing with the air, feeling the difference as I gently glide down through the clear air into the ground mist, seeing the edges smooth out and melt into each other. I create a stall-rear riser-toggle dance for the watchers, whomever they are....and I smile. And the dance is over now, time to land. My sight picture is far better this time, although as I turn onto my cross wind leg, I realize I will undershoot the target, but I'll get as close to it as I can...Deep braked turn, and full flight, breathe, and now, gently, o.k., well, that wasn't so gentle...and hold it, and no reaching and, and, and, now finish it out...and I am about 5 feet off the end of the grass near the student circle, and I slide a bit, and go down to one knee. But I know what I did wrong. I know why it was there and not where I wanted it. I understand it. No matter that I wasn't perfect...I will be, someday, but for now I'm just learning. Jim and I agree that in two or three weeks, I'll come out again, and finish the class. In the meantime, I have some homework to do, some risers to swap, and some pride to revel in. I pack up and start the long drive home, and wonder at how sore my upper body is. I am so proud of myself, and know that there was much accomplished today, both technically and personally. I think about the day I've just had, and recall the work I put in to my flying today. And I understand that until today, I have not really been flying my canopy...but rather, I've been along for the ride, at the mercy of the winds and the ground, a passenger instead of a participant. And now, while I shall never truly conquer the winds and the earth, I do understand that a mutual understanding can be reached...but I have to fly, not ride, for that understanding to be respected. I am learning to fly. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Morning, JP.... I fell asleep at the computer last night (I wasn't kidding when I said I was exhausted), so my post isn't up yet. Should be soon....I took the ground school and did my first three jumps yesterday, with several more to go in a few weeks. And it was all done in the 210. I have successfully "downsized", as it were...I think that as soon as I understand the stuff I was taught, in a real world, jump-my-ass off kind of way, the fear will completely dissapate. Twas truly amazing. The difference between the first jump and the last jump was like watching a different person...I know it felt like I was a different person... Alan, I was so damned tired last night, that I didn't articulate my position too well, and did say what I said sharply. Not intended...but I still think that you, having not taken the class, don't really understand what is taught, how it's taught, and how amazingly clear it's taught. If you were to take the class, you would learn (and understand) far more things that I would...the difference being your experience level and my experience level. Your foundation has been built, and years of experience have built on that... I got a few slabs of concrete laid; my foundation is not yet complete. But I was missing that foundation, and now I'm not...it's a most intense kinda thing. As for the celebrity status, my Dad is one. I don't care who you are. What you do and how well you do it, is what I judge on. Clint Clawson did my AFF1 video (and others), and I didn't know "who" he was. I just knew the dude could fly...and I wanted to fly, too...it's not "look who signed my log book", it's more of a "look - I can do this!"...but that's me. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

[bump] Curt, you are so right... Thanks for the reminder. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Me is exhausted, and home now. In defense of LawnDart, Alan, flying in turbulance is covered, and covered well. He is correct in his recollection and opinion about how to get through it with a canopy over your head, according to the guys who teach the class. I have not yet completed the class, but I will tell you that if LawnDart didn't remember specifically exactly what was discussed, it's because they are discussing about a million things, and many turns in the conversation did occur. There were several times where I had to stop him and say "no, I don't understand" or "no, I don't get it. WTF are you talking about", and then move backwards til I did understand something, and re-build from there. It was four plus hours of technical discussion, before 9 am to after 1 pm, with lots of new terms and concepts (whaddya mean, it's not majik?), and then getting through jumps and debriefs and jumping again. Very intense, and stressful, but in a good way. I am very tired, and likely not explaining this very well, but I will say this: IT WAS FAR AND BEYOND the best $$ I have ever spent in any of the sports I've participated in, and not because of the "personal pride" to say "Jim Slaton worked with me today"...but because of the information, and the information, and the information...and then coaching, coaching, coaching (it could've been little green men who coached me...I could care less about the celebrity status of a jumper...). And those guys really, really care about what's happening, and why, and take the time to see what's actually going on...and fix what needs fixing, and keep what should be kept, both technically and emotionally. If you haven't taken the course, Alan, I don't believe you have the basis to determine if it is worth the money. I have and am, and will tell you right here that it is worth it. Lawndart happens to agree.

Hey, Nathan... Be safe...have a great break from the real world...and know you are the envy of most people I know! Good deal, my friend! Hugs- Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

I so needed something to make me grin tonight... THANKS! Those were hysterical! Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Aim carefully. Remember, I am a black belt (and really fast, "for a fat chick"...!...faster than lots of the skinny folk, and can take a hit far better....

Jan, I didn't take them as such. If I had felt they were personal attacks, I would have responded far differently...believe me Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Ya know, if you just looked at me, and didn't know I play as hard as I do, you would have that opinion of me, as well. I realize that people don't realize how hurtful and difficult their words can be...which is why I made my post. Just got this in a pm...and as the sender gave persmission for me to post it here, but anonymously, I have only edited it to reflect their wish... This isn't necessarily directed at J, either, but at those who can so easily demean and denegrate those who don't fit the societal precepts. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Hi, Proff.... No? I am far larger than the charts suggest I should be. I could easily be charged a second airfare, because of that particular issue. No? The thread crept around and walked off onto its' own thing, as most threads do. The base for the thread was an article, but the majority of the comments went somewhere else... Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

And you know when you're not....sigh...the story of my life.... Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Hmmmmmmmmmmm. This thread has pissed me off a bit. This fat bitch this, this fat bitch that. This gross looking nasty ass blah blah blah..... I am not an obese person, and I am not a skinny person. I fit in an airliner seat and have been comfortable doing so. My neighbor has not ever complained that I was crowding them out. But those of you who know me also know that I am not a skinny marink, and it is utterly ridiculous to expect everyone to be. So before I take this thread really personally, define what you're discussing. As to the metabolism thing, there is no doubt that I have a slow one. my treat is when I am at the DZ, I get a burger. As I make it to the dz once every 6 weeks or so, that's when I eat one. Last night, for example, I had a salad (not loaded with everything - just veggies with some kidney beans - thank you very much, vinegar as dressing), and a can of soup. All told, perhaps 600 calories. As for what else I ate yesterday, well, 2 glasses of 1% milk. What else can I do but eat far less than everyone I know, and still maintain a chubby appearance? Run...walk, weight lifts (no $$ for a gym membership) - yes, I have a mini stair master which I do 1/2 an hour on on 4 times a week...and just about maintain my body weight....last time I went to Mikkie D's? About 9 years ago. Last time I went to any fast food place? At the beginning of the summer. I would rather not eat if my only choice is fast food, which means 98% of my days I do not eat until I can come home and prepare something "lean" and easy. My office regularly brings in donuts and bagels...and I just as regularly pass them up, getting coffee instead. I'm not lazy. I'm not fat, or slovenly, or uneducated. I am not unmotivated, nor am I any of the things y'all have stated. Yes, there are people who are morbidly obese...I am not one of them. Take a care how you describe us fatties...most of you show a disgusting arrogance and disinclination to actually look at the average "fatty" and see what's going on....and you have no idea who is reading this, and feeling horribly about themselves because of what you are saying. I know I did... Hmm. I seem to have taken this a bit more personally than I thought. Michele

Hey, all... The communication Cheif Moose just gave was that the avenues of communication the sniper has requested is not able to be worked out. Communication seems to have come to a halt. Not good news. The good news is the caption which started this thread needs a little explanation. It was in the form of a post script, and was tacked on the end of the Ponderosa note. The body of the note has NOT been released, but to put it in context, some information was given out that no-one was safe, no gender, race, no one...and I would be willing to bet a JTix that during one of the communications which was successful, the negotiator asked for consideration for the children, ie "leave them out of it", and this was his direct answer. No Hallowe'en in that area this year...and voter turnout will be very slim, too, I suspect. Cheif Moose is in a really bad situation here...he is not able to do what he has done all his life, and that is protect and help. The shit has gone personal, looks to me, and I really feel badly for Chief. And btw, it's old news that the children are not safe - the 13 y/o child shot at school two weeks ago proved that indisputably. Morbid prediction: he will shoot again within the next 36 hours (likely within 12, but I'm hedging my bets), as a way of answering Moose's last conference. They do have a suspect in some of the GR cases in custody. I haven't followed his trial, though, so don't know if he has been tried, or if he hasn't yet been. And I am not sure they have the right guy, either. Some interesting issues, IIRC, surrounding the suspect... A thought, though, about your comment...Bundy was caught, tried/convicted, and killed in Florida, and never tried for the WA state (or other area[Idaho, CO, OR, possibly CA and NV]) murders. One-Eyed whatshisname murdered across the country (if he is to believed), as has the I5 Killer (caught and jailed)(his area covered at least 5 states). And the Zodiak Killer has never been caught, despite his choice of location remaining pretty contained), although just recently one of the primary suspects was cleared with DNA... The stats indicate that there are, at any given time, upwards of 100 serial murders operating at one time, here in the US. Most serial killers do have an area within which they operate, and it usually is an area they have spent significant time in...and yes, know it like the back of their hand. I hope they get this guy, and get him soon. Unless he makes a major mistake, or someone near him talks, the chances are slim that will happen. He is not yet disintegrating, and still establishing and demonstrating control, which is his primary motivation There's another thread on 'who is this guy' which is an interesting read... Just a few thoughts tonight.... Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Oh heavens no. I usually work Thursday through Tuesday, with the occasional weekend day to run down to the dz and play (granted, I don't usually get there during the week either, it's just easier than the weekend). I suspect I will owe beer because of the canopy class. I know there will be easily 1 million things I will do for the first time tomorrow, including jumping my new to me main... Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Or, say, the amount of jumps made by a video guy, and how much he earns...from someone who's not been seen before? Yeah, I kinda think you're right... (Edit...hmmm. It would seem I'm (well, my story on the 182) is headlining it right now. Geesh....I didn't know that!).... Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Why, thank you, Tom...I appreciate the compliment!

Hey, Phree... Re: prescheduling... I ahve had a darned hard tiome getting in touch with them for whatever reason, mostly because they were on tour and working...I made up my mind that I could eek out the $$ for the class this last weekend (and not pay this or that bill), and made numerous calls this weekend and yesterday. It seems that, because the classes are a full day with one-one instruction, prescheduling would be good, but because I can come out during the week (my one day off is Wed.), they were able to accomodate me at short notice. I would suggest that, if you know when you'll be around, to set it up a while in advance, and then remind them closer to the date. Hey, Tom! Thanks for the write-up - I apprecaite knowing a little bit about what I am "in for"...we talked last night about what I want from the class, and should I stay in the 230 or use my own 210...we'll make that decision for sure tomorrow...my wants from the class are simple: to land on my toesies rather than my bumpers, and to understand why canopies fly....and then, if there's time, to swoop like they do.... Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Hey, Kevin... From my understanding, it landed in a grove of trees just off the highway there. No damage to any structure, just the plane and some trees.... And yes, Weegegirl, he and they need to go to whatever club/org. that has this as their membership - it's an amazing story! And Travis rocks! Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Andy? What's gonna make you happier? Take the least work to maintain? Create value for you rather than stress? That's the color you should go. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Thank you, my friend, thank you! Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

It does resolve the toilet seat debate... Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Hey, Dovie... You and me's in the same boat...but you're getting all the calls from the men to come, and they just don't care if I can get there or not. *Sigh*...I suppose it's better to be a flying dove than a flying turkey.... Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Whhhhhoooooo hoooooo. thanks, Steve. Finally something to put into the weekend thread other than "0:0:0". And I suspect that I will be owing beer...oh, this is gonna be a ball! I hope. I have no issues with clear and pulls now, either, since I did something like 5 in July...so the nerves will be less than usual.... that'll be a blessing! Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

I'm gonna have weekday numbers.....tee hee.... Gonna jump on Wednesday....doing the canopy control class...tee hee...getting excited now.... Hey! Will they count for weekend numbers too? I have to work all weekend, so this is the only time I can jump this month... Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Hey, Chris.... So the course is ground school understanding why canopies behave the way they do (you mean it's not majik?....), and then a jumpnclear from 12,500 and then 4 more from 4,5...all with video and debrief and more education along the way. I am bringing a whole brand new notebook, so I can remember all of it... Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~