Michele

Day 1 Ah, yes...today I shall jump. I pack up the car (man, do I really need all this stuff?? It's like I'm going away for a week!), fill up the car, and drive through the spring morning to my playground. Haze blankets the valley, the mountains are softly green, the air is chilly; I turn up the music and open the sunroof. I stick my hand through, testing the slipstream, tease myself with the air. Spring has sprung here, and I am loving it. To the DZ at about 10:30...and look around for Sparky, who will be meeting me. It's my first jump since getting recurrent with Lewmonst, and I have the nerves again. Nothing huge, but still...I want to be with someone I know and trust for this jump. But I can't find him....on the verge of manifesting for a solo, he shows up. YAY! We manifest for a jump - very simple, easy, nothing gigantic to try, and get ready. Walk it through, I can do this. Now call. Into line, way at the front of the plane. I check the uppers, zero. I'm fretting at my suit, picking at my grippers, fiddling. I'm nervous, and anxious, and anticipating the whole thing. And then it's suit up time...goggles, helmet, check all straps, check all handles...green light, door up - and then that scent; spring air at 13,000 is different than anything else I've ever smelled. I breathe deeply, and feel the switch in my head turn. I'm ready to skydive... Except we do a second pass. I remind the one solo leaving after us that I'm pulling high, 4.5, and he says he will be pulling at 6, so no worries. And now it's door time. Sparky and I crouch in the door, no links. Diving after him. He gives the count, and I follow him tightly. Into the air I fling myself, smiling. And promptly lose sight of him. I level out, arch, and circle, looking for him...and find him. Legs out, drive to him, and we are closing rapidly. "Aggressive" shouts my voice to myself, and so I fly right into him...and grab grips in time to prevent a head-on crash. I grin. This is fun!!!! We stabilize, sort fall rate, and release. Sidebody, regrip. Good deal. Then release for the next sidebody, and he skids away from me. I chase him, lay out my legs, push my shoulders down, but I can't get there. "Aggressive!!!" I remind myself, but even though I get within inches of him, that third grip isn't happening. I am reaching, despite the legs flat, and that screws things up. And I float, then drop below, and move in and out, and just can't ever get there. I'm smiling anyway, because this is funny and fun....I am in the springtime sky, with a dear friend, dancing through the blue...how could this NOT be fun?? And now it's track and pull time...big wave off, reach, toss, throw, sweet opening, and as I reach for the slider, I see the solo opening. He's at line stretch, and his canopy is blossoming. Usually I like that sight, but then I realize how close he is...I can see his jumpsuit is slightly unzipped. He's maybe 75 feet away, and maybe 50 feet above me. Hands to the right riser, yank, watching him the whole time. I wag my legs furiously, and he does not acknowledge. I pop the toggles, and crank a 360 as fast as I can, coming out of it and using that speed to carry me away from potential danger. Good separation now...and now I stow my slider, watching him the whole time. I decide I want more room, and do another 360, and now it's time to set up for my landing. And because of the 360's, I'm too low to get where I want, so I choose my spot, and come in a bit crosswind. I almost stand it up, but end up sliding. It's all good.... I gather my stuff and walk in with the jumper who opened close to me. I ask him a few questions, realize he's a very low number (lower than me) jumper, and decide we'll just chat a bit. He doesn't realize how close he was, so I think I should let someone who he knows help him. I drop my gear, and walk over to the school, let one of his instructors know what happened, and let them take care of it. As I stand there, under a tree, talking with Sparky, up walks this bear of a man. He says "You are Michael Owen" to Sparky, who nods..."and you must be Michele" he turns and says to me. I realize it's Bozo, Jim B., and I grin and hug him. He laughs, and I give him a big kiss on the cheek. How fun is this, I think...friends from the internet!!! He brings me over to his group, and introduces me around. We get to chatting, and Sparky has to go get ready for Joe Morgan's memorial jump. The jump goes off well, from what I see, and my job is to catch the smoke canisters. I wait out on the landing area, and get it taken care of, and then traipse back to Jim's group. "Hey, do you have your SCR?" Jim says to me....and I say no. I've not gotten that yet. And then his eyes twinkle, and he says "want it?" and I say sure! But I look over at Sparky. I'm not sure, not at all. A free flown exit, with people I've never jumped with, can I do this? Is this remotely possible? Oh cripes....Sparky's nodding. Well, so I'll do this.... And now the scramble to put together a group of 8. We've got 6, no problem; Frank D., Bozo, Bobbie, Kelly, me, Sparky... and then Sparky collars a 7th -Mike from Air Trash, and then Mike collars the 8th...Tom Brown. And we're on. Except I'm off. I mean in my head. It's yammering at me...you sure? What are you doing, you silly newbie you??? We dirt dive. Two floating, me in the door, the rest following out. No grips. Yikes. Sparky reminds me it's a two way with company, me and him and then the rest, I'm to focus on him, fly to him....and they warn me it will be quick, that out the door Sparky will be taking grips with Jim and that I'm to take grips with both. I nod. I'm tense, now. I've never done this, not even close to this. I've done an 8 way, but that was a linked exit. I have no idea what's going to happen. I mean, I've been told, but what will it be like??? They want me to give the count. I refuse...I don't want the count. Someone else do it. Oh phooey. It's just a skydive. No, these people are jumping with me, all have great experience, I'm going to blow the jump, they'll hate me. NO, they won't hate me yes they will oh geez, it's time to suit up and walk through and I'm shaking and my hands are sweating and I'm not even on the darned plane yet! And now it's into the plane, sit down, stare at my feet. Look around. Stare at my fingernails. Huh, they're dirty. Clean them. Fiddle with my zippers, touch all my handles, twiddle with my leg and chest strap. And now it's that group handshake thing, and I'm shaking still. I hope no-one can tell. And then the door opens, and we're first and I line my feet up and look at Sparky and he gives the count and I'm aggressive and we're out and I'm right there and grabbing Sparky's grips and now so is Bozo and my legs get thumped and there's a tangle of arms and legs, I'm not sure where to put my hands and I freeze. And somehow slide underneath Bozo and Sparky, and now we're upside down and tumbling and rightside up and still tumbling and I'm arching and Bozo lets go and I'm clinging to Sparkly and then I'm alone in the sky... I stabilize, and there's Sparky, and I'm trying to get to him because it's a two way with company and then I feel a knockthumpbump and Bozo is on my left, and I take grips with him, and I'm startled and now we're flying level and I remember what I'm supposed to do and then Sparky comes in and then all these other people come in and grips are being taken and the circle is widening and I'm flying to the center and we've lost so much altitude during my funnel and we're still building and now people are breaking off and Frank's got a hold of my arm and he needs to let go and he doesn't so I shake him, and consider deploying right there but I don't know where everyone is so I don't, and finally he lets go and I turn and track and slow down and open and watch my canopy open and I'm frustrated with myself because I was the problem on that jump and it's my fault and everyone will hate me and now it's time to land. So I do, and it's a nice landing, despite being off the pattern by a whole lot. I land on my feet in the middle of foxtails. I gather up my stuff and sort of stomp off to Mike and Tom. They both hug me and congratulate me, but I know we didn't get it. They reassure me that it went well, all landed and noone got hurt, and so it's all good...but I notice some blood on some of the participants, and feel really badly that injuries - albeit small - happened on my jump. And I drop my gear, and walk over to the group and start off with the apologies. And then Bozo hands me this big blue suit, and says "you have a pretty suit, but it's killing you. I had to go headdown to get you! Put this on" and makes me promise to try the suit on my next jump. And as I sit there, I am mad, because I screwed the exit, it's my fault, Bobbie was going for her SCR too, and these people prolly hate me and I'm embarrassed and mad. And then I see the look in Bozo's eyes, and he says "you stopped flying, like everyone does at your level. It's all right. Come back in the morning, and we'll jump." I'm relieved because no-one wants to shoot me because they burned a ticket on me...so I promise to come back in the morning and try out the blue suit. I drive home through the evening, and realize I am both satisfied and frustrated at the same time...some paradox there. As I crawl into bed, hurting, I figure it out. I'm frustrated because it didn't go well and it was my fault, but I'm satisfied because I pushed my comfort level and tried, at least, something that really scared me...and it turned out all right. ~~~~~~~~~~~ Day 2 I crawl out of bed, barely able to stand up straight. My hips and abdomen are hurting, and I'm sore from the combat RW of yesterday. I debate whether I should go down to Elsinore, but decide I've given my word, and so it's off to the office, handle a few things, and then out to the DZ by 11:15. I hook up with Bozo and Bobbie and Kelly, and ask him what exactly he meant about me stopping flying. I think I know, but I want to hear it from him. He explains, and then cautions me "you're thinking too much, girl. Just jump!" As the winds are anticipated to pick up, we decide to get a jump in shortly. And manifest, and get ready. This will be a simple, no-contact proximity dive, a 4 way. I will be in the blue suit this time. It's baggy and will help my fall rate, according to Bozo. I'm worried about it being so baggy, covering handles and altimeter, but Bozo reassures me, and promises he wouldn't let me jump something I would be unsafe in. We're going to lauch a three way, with Bobbie not linked, and just work fall rate and proximity. And it's now call, and I keep trying to get onto the plane; I'm anxious, and keep leaving my group behind. They want the door seats, and so I stay back. I'm laughing at myself...don't leave the group behind, Michele...you're not even in the air...and so we board, and get belted in, and up and away we go. And I'm worried about the winds...uppers are 20 from the freeway, no problem, but the ground is 15 and gusty. I consider riding the plane down, but decide I can handle this. Not much more. I think about my landing pattern in the plane, and now it's time to gear up and it's green light and the 4 way in front of us leaves, and now it's our turn... Into the door, find my feet, look down, and get the count...and we're out, and it's smooth, and no funnel and Kelly's on my left and Bozo's on my right and now Bobbie comes in and we've got the whole thing. I feel my legs flopping around - happy legs, busy legs - and get some positive pressure on them. And this suit is helping me...I've managed to stay level with the group...and now it's release time, and they let go, and we all stay in position!!! I haven't fallen, I haven't floated, I'm not backsliding! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Time to take grips, and it's "easy", no fighting at all. I'm concentrating, and smiling a bit. And Bozo mouths RELAX!!! at me and I nod. I'm not sure how to relax any more, so I take a deep breath and blow it out, and we drop grips again, and take them up. And a third time, and this time I backslide about 18 inches, but not bad, and come back in and regrip. Hey, I can do this!!!! Heeeeeeee heeeeeeeeeeeee! WOW! I notice Kelly looking down, and check my altimeter. We're still at 5ish, but he drops grips and waves at me. I turn and track, wave off, and deploy, and it's sweet...the canopy is there, bright and happy, and I head to the DZ. I play there, resting in the sky, 2,000 feet over the ground. I look out over the horizon, and see the land splayed in front, gently spring green. There is bouncy air, and I fly through it, and hit the wall of wind. As I slide down it, I am grinning. This is wonderful fun, this skydiving stuff. Just wonderful. And then I realize I'm headed for a landing right on top of the tetrahedron, and grab risers and try to get a few feet more distance, and I do, and now it's time to flare, but it's lazy and slow, and I lift my feet and try to pop myself back up, but that isn't happening, too much wind, and gently land on my bottom. My canopy, however, isn't quite ready to stop flying. It wants back into the sky, and as it tries to reinflate and run away, I manage to clamber to my feet while yanking a toggle, and watch it accordion down. I am grinning, happy, satisfied, thrilled. WOW! Whahoooooooooooooo! I holler, in the sheer need to let out some of the excitement and joy. Whaaaaaahoooooooooooooooooooooo! That was a really wonderful jump, I can do this crazy skydiving thing, and I'm not terrible and no-one hates me and this is so fun and I love the sky and seeing friends around me in it. For how unique is it, how unusual is it, to be in the blue sky, sharing a smile with old friends and new friends? Our hearts and souls are on display in the sky; how amazing it is to see that?? How intimate, how perfect, how special is that gift? To reach out and touch that sacred space, to do what we do, with friends well met in the blue; how sweet that bond! I hope your weekend was as satisfying as mine was! Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Yup, I don't typify anything...just ask my family. LOL! I am good at not "typifying" anything...and I take that as a compliment. Considering my "little group of buddies" include the folks who'll be participating in this calendar, and include such folks as Michael McGowan, Kate Cooper, Mary SantAngelo, and many other skydivers, as well as some of the largest DZs in the country, I found that comment very funny. Yes, I am an occasional skydiver. So what? That doesn't mean we can't create something which will benefit skydiving, and which will, at the same time, bring in donations for JFTC. It's all good. The publicity generated by those posts is creating a huge amount of interest, and it simply energizes me to produce something from a team of skydiving people that will knock the socks off people, and bring in lots of sales. LOL...this is getting really funny. Thanks for all the laughs, folks. And HH, thanks for a site that occasional jumpers and wannabe's can contribute with out concern that we will be shot down for not knowing all, being all, and being perfect. This place rocks! Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

And doesn't look like you will be participating in? Jan, again, you are welcome to your opinion. You're not in charge of this, and really don't know what it's about, based on your comments, despite all the corrections we've supplied. If you're insistent and expectant that this is a T&A calendar, you will likely be very disappointed in the results. Sorry you can't respect others' opinions the way you're demanding respect for yours. If you can come up with something that will generate more funds, rock on. Ciels- Michele (Edited to add: please note where you placed this post, and understand why it's not been deleted whereas your first attempt was..."things in proper places", as my father would say....) ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Congratulations, DD and Wendy! Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

O.K., so.... You all just rock. I was at Elsinore this weekend, and asked Betsy how much the paypal account raised. Off the top of her head, she said something like "$3300". I asked her to say that again, and she did. $3,300. How generous you all were. And how much it was needed, and what a difference you've made. Thanks from the bottom of my heart for answering the call for help. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

0:3:?? Had a very very fun weekend. Saw old friends, met new ones, made three jumps, walked away from all of them. How much better does it get??? I'll be grinning for two weeks. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

LOL, you didn't sound mean or anything, either. Nice, jovial....you were talking over a Twin Otter, after....LOL. Nah, she wasn't scared by you...she was just a rabble rouser. A very intimidated rabble rouser, but one nonetheless. I would've asked if she wanted to do a tandem... LOL! Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

So there we were, under the tree, relaxing and shooting the breeze, which had picked up considerably. Near us, the motocross park (?) which sees far more ambulances than we do was sounding like it was busy.... When lo and behold, up bicycles someone in a green smock/caftan, wearing a wide brimmed straw hat with mosquito netting draped down, concealing identity; long black hose, and sandals. On the back of the bike was a large sign: "How Long Will You Let Our Boys Die In A War Just So You Can Have Your SUV Sports and Skydiving???" One lady I was with flashed the inverted peace sign at the mysterious bicyclist, who sent one back. One of the men I was with hollered over the noise of the taxiing otter "Come over here, man. What's up? Let's talk!"....to which I replied "that's not a man", and the lady with us said "that's a chick..." I suppose this lady has preternatural hearing, because she mounted her bike, and shouted back "I AM NOT A CHICK!" to which I replied, "SURE YOU ARE!" LOL, made me laugh. I mean, really. If you want to picket a dropzone, at least have the balls enough to come forward and say something, not just lurk the grass and show a sign. Not very effective...not in the least. LOL. Just thought I'd mention it. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

I did. I jumped. It rocked. I grinned. Like this.... Bozo told me I wasn't too bad after all....LOL... Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Paige, SR wasn't giving you shit, per se...he was advising you, as Dove did, that BM is a common term for bowel movements, also known as poop.... Worry not...you weren't being slammed because you didn't know the sex of someone...it was more the connotation of the initials....which I confess, I make as well. ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Except when you're trying to recover a funneled exit with me in tow (who happened to funnel it....). I'll bet that it then skyrockets! LOL!! In answer to the original question: Heart pounding, cottonmouthed, leg shaking adventure no doubt. I love it...sometimes I forget how much I love it, and then I'm back in the door, looking out into the sky, and I remember.... Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Great photo. And JP, you're just cool. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Nah...that doesn't happen. See, he's 220ish out the door, so I told him that he'd be fine on a 150 for his first canopy, prolly Stilleto, and that he should learn to swoop as fast as he can, since that's the only thing that matter in skydiving. And that he needs to wear color coordinated stuff, too... LOL! He's got great instructors, a decent head on his shoulders, and a neat young man. Ladies, he's a sweetie too. Welcome to DZ.com, Lou! I was so tickled that your dive went well (told ya front loops weren't a problem), and I was very pleased you chose to wait for a canopy you were comfy under. Remember that whatever you read/hear, double check with your instructors, and have a ton of fun....and yeah, relax a bit, too . I'm heading down there for at least one more jump today - I got a jumpdate with a bozo, so after I hit the office, I'm headed down. Come out and do your first solo - and again, congratulations!!! YAY LOU!!!!! Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

I agree with Mar and Rob. And I also want to ask....how do you expect to land if the major weight bearing muscles in your legs are not going to function properly? Know what? The sky will wait...take your time, get better, and then go skydiving. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Yep. And you should see his ass. (ooops, am I letting out secrets, Roy dearest??).... Thanks, guys. She is a dear friend, and has been there for me so much. I am indeed blessed to have her in my life, no doubt. She's one of those "forever" friends, you know? And Chris, thanks for the prayers. They are always welcome - indeed, often needed! LOL....and of course they're returned. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Angela, I'm a reasonable, intelligent woman. I don't happen to agree with you. Why does that make me a lost cause? Furthermore, I totally respect your right to choose where you spend your jump money. I will spend mine where I choose to, as well. Does this again make me a lost cause? Making a blanket statement like that destroys your ability to be taken seriously, from at least my perspective. How about making your stand with your dollars, and letting me make mine? For example, I don't wear "brand name" clothes, and nothing from Ambercrombie and Fitch. I see no value in supporting a company with my money that has clearly demonstrated a racial bias. You may choose to support A&F by wearing their name, or buying their clothes. That doesn't make you a lost cause, it simply means you've chosen differently. Anyway, enough from me. Have a good weekend! Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

I know you're hurting, both in your body and in your heart. I want to hug it away for you, I want to soothe you and let you know how much I cherish you. I can't hug it away; but I can remind you that when you rest, remember my hug from ago...it's still there, its memory lingers. Revive it, let it live again, and know you're not alone. You're never alone. I know it's a rough road for you right now. I want to get out my shovel and clear the rocks and the bumps along the way, to smooth it over for you so it's easier to travel. I can't shovel the rocks away...but I can, and will, intercede and defend you as best as I can. I will help you over those bumps and rocks, lending you my hand for balance...as you have lent me yours. I will remind you to see the sunshine and feel the wind as you wend your way through this particular patch, and make you remember how it really is...it's not all rocks, nor all bumps. Sometimes, there's a field of sunflowers and wild grasses, gently blowing in the breeze. That field will come again, I promise. You're very special, my friend. Your heart glows and shines and sparkles; your spirit is brilliant and true. And when you have hard times, you smile through them, and love life anyway. Your energy is compelling, and you draw smiles from others like a magnet. I can learn immense amounts from you, and look forward to doing so throughout the rest of our lives. You reach out to everyone, and you love everyone unconditionally. I need to learn how to do that. I just wanted you to know you are respected, appreciated, and loved. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Um, more than implied... Again, I ask that all who have concerns stop for a moment, think about what the concerns are really, and then have some patience and wait until the calendar is actually done before determining it's value. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Thanks, Bella! I'm absolutely excited about how this is coming together. Stressed, of course, but absolutely excited! Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Hi, Bella! From the original post.... I would urge all those who anticipate being offended by the calendar to wait until it comes out. If at that time you are offended, by all means speak your piece. In the interim, if some choose to participate, and others don't, that's just fine by us. We have at least a dozen women confirmed for the Perris shoot (and several who are tentative), with many more asking for locations near them where they can go. This has been very well received, from both men and women, and we anticipate that this will be an excellent fundraiser to assist those who want to contribute to JFTC. Thanks for all the discussion! Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Wow. I have no words. Really. I'm sitting here, thinking what can I say to tell him to lighten up, see the light, relax, remember the team thing, better or worse... And there's not a thing I can say which he will listen to. Not one single thing. However, the word "asshat" comes to mind... Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

What about Babe? Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

You were invited to participate in the project because you had jumped on JFTC (as all JFTC ladies were.). You declined. That's fine. There is no problem with that. No one will look down on you for not participating, especially as you have such strong personal feelings against what you are (mis)catagorizing as "T&A". As for "real skydiving photos", you did not ask - and have yet TO ask - what sort of photography will be included. Fortunately, the Calendar Girls gang have some semblence of decorum. Not to mention the top notch photographers who would not've been willing to participate if it went against their moral positions; and not to mention the several dozen models who've been asking for shoots near them. I respect your opinion as what runs your life. You're welcome to it. I disagree, but that's because I a) know what's going on, and b) know what will be acceptable and not. I firmly believe that this calendar will generate a lot of money for the girls, and also for JFTC. I've spent easily 80 hours (as have the other women on the planning committee) just in the last 2 months, and anticipate spending about 1200 more hours on this project before it's through. We will not be receiving any remuneration on a personal level. What we will receive is the satisfaction of knowing that a project as intense as this is will benefit women, far and wide, jumpers and non-jumpers alike. My admiration and appreciation goes to everyone who has answered affirmatively to the invitation to contribute. Should there be those who do not wish to contribute in this way, my opinion of them will not change because of that. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Ah, good. 'Cause that's what those photos are about... Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

I hope that, no matter how good I get at anything, ever, that I won't forget what it's like to turn your first point; what it's like to take your first listing; what it's like to need love and support, to reach for a friend for a shoulder to cry on, to reach for that same friend to celebrate a victory, or an accomplishment. It must indeed be a dreary existence, to live like that. My sympathy goes to those who've lost the vicarious thrill of seeing someone else accomplish something, no matter how small or insignificant...because it is never small nor insignificant. Ciels and Pinks- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~