Jessica

EWWWW!!!!! "I'm not a gay necropheliac," he cried, half in dead Ernest.

Today, I quietly slipped into old-handedness. I'd like to thank my agent, my family, and mostly God.

Dude, that was probably the rudest thing I've ever seen on this board. And I've seen a lot of rude things. Yuck.

Hahah! Hey skreamer, I heard you were gay. Are you?

OH BOY! So, how many Newfies DOES it take to go ice fishing? This reminds of something Dave Barry wrote in a column about humor -- about how the very base of it is our silly Newfie jokes and Aggie jokes and etc. The first joke, according to Dave Barry: First Egyptian: Did you hear about the Sumerian? He was extremely stupid! Ha ha! Second Egyptian: No, I had not heard about him.

WHOO-HOO! Let's hear it for J-School, where on arrival you're issued a stylebook, a pica pole, a pack of cigs, a fifth of whisky and a dirty-word dictionary.

GRAMMAR IS NOT LAME @#$%@#^%@$% IT'S THE CORNERSTONE OF HUMAN COMMUNICATION I'M REALLY MAD NOW You people don't know how hard it is to be a grammarian...in a world that just...[sob]...doesn't care....

We've talked about skydiving dreams -- but does anyone ever have skydiving nightmares? I've been going thru some personal shit lately, and have been having some intense REM sleep. The other night I dreamed that I went to an unfamiliar DZ somewhere, and there was a HUGE boogie going on, with what seemed like hundreds of jumpers in the air on every load. Anyway, I'm watching them land, and I suddenly see this guy bounce, right in front of me. Impact the earth at 120 with nothing out. Nobody seems concerned but me. As time goes on, I realize that this is happening two or three or more times per load -- people are going in in great FOOMPS of dust, and it looks like none of them bothered to pull. It's just raining bodies. I woke up scared and horrified. I think my subconcious is using skydiving to symbolize something else in my life (yeah I'm one of those weird dream-interp people) but GOD it was horrible. I'm just sharing 'cause whuffos don't understand how bad this was for me.

Oh yah, and you're the most trustworthy source on the whole freakin board. That ain't right. You know there's no statute of limitations on getting pied, right? You have defiled the fraternal obligations. FELLOW DZ.COMMERS: PIE SKREAMER IMMEDIATELY UPON SEEING HIM. HE IS A SLACK-ASS NON-PIED CHEATER. And Wingy, I DID miss you!

Shiner Bock!!!! Brewed with pride in Shiner, Texas!! I'll drink other beer, but I like the schmancy stuff. I won't touch the lite "beer" until I'm good and schnockered. I've somehow lost my taste for liquor, isn't that weird? I used to love mixed girly drinks, but now they taste like ass to me. Haha -- y'all are girl-drink drunks!! (If anyone gets that reference I will marry you immediately.)

AARRRGHGHGHH Sis, I love you dearly, and I'd do almost anything for you, except murder and overlooking incorrect grammar. And the murder's negotiable. It's Y'ALL -- you+all = y'all. And Zennie, you've got a mistake up there too: NO NO NO! Plural posessive is Y'ALL'S with TWO apostrophes. One apostrophe for the contraction, and one to indicate the posessive. Sincerely, Grammar Queen

*I* miss you awfully!! xoxoxoxo

Yeah!

Oooh...good idea!!

Pammi -- betcher not completing yer flare. I was having the exact same problem -- went 25 jumps without a single stand-up. Try doing lots of practice flares up high, and really look at how deep your toggles are when your canopy stalls. Then, on landing, apply the Three "Oh Shits" rule -- don't flare until the 3rd time you say "oh shit," then do a smooth, DEEP flare. This is how I solved it, and I was sure I'd be like, 40 years in the sport, a member of Arizona Airspeed, and PLFing all my landings.

Well, like in the words of Dubya himself, who cares what you think? http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/outrage/hangley.htm

Wicked!! Think I'll just watch -- a buncha people at SDD would be pissed at me if they didn't get to spray me with Lone Star.

YES COME WITH ME TO SSM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OOH damn! I wish like hell these two things weren't happening on the same weekend. I would LOVE to do the skills camp, and I really need to (I fucked up two SCR attempts during Jerry's boogie -- I need to learn to fly) but on the other hand, I could get my jump numbers up and practice two ways at SSM. I've got my JMs telling me different things -- but Mandy told me to go to SSM and jump my ass off, and I'd learn more than I would at the skills camp. But I have heard the skills camp is very, very good. Not sure what to do. But hey -- what a great problem to have!!

Point? La di tum...la la la di dum ti dum la do [singing softly] Freeedom's just another word fer nothin left to lose.... mmm la la typie typie typie work work work [under-breath Roy Orbison voice] Anything you want...you got it...anything you neeeed...you got it... la la la

I'm at about a two-star right now. Bleah. 1 star hangover (*) No pain. No real feeling of illness. Your sleep last night was a mere disco nap which is giving you a whole lot of misplaced energy. Be glad that you are able to function relatively well. However, you are still parched. You can drink 10 sodas and still feel this way. You are craving a steak bomb and a side of gravy fries. 2 star hangover (**) No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay but you have mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you chug is only acerbating your rumbling gut, which is craving a rootie tootie fresh and fruitypancake breakfast from IHOP. Last night has wreaked havoc on your bowels. 3 star hangover (***) Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely not productive. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the random gin shots you did with your alcoholic friends after the bouncer 86'd your ass at 1:45 a.m. Life would be better right now if you were in your bed with a dozen donuts and a meatball sub. you've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 3 you Snapples and a liter of diet coke-yet haven't peed once. 4 star hangover (****) Life sucks. Your head is throbbing and you can't speak too quickly or else you might puke. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but that can't hide the fact that you missed an oh-so crucial spot shaving (girls, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the bumper cars. Your eyes look like one big vein and your hairstyle makes you look like a reject from the class picture of Revere High, '76. 5 star hangover(*****) a.k.a. "Dante's 4th Circle of Hell." You have a second heartbeat in your head which is actually annoying the employee who sits in the next cube. Vodka vapor is seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva, so your tongue is suffocating you. Death seems pretty good right now. You definitely don't remember who you were with, where you were, what you drank, and why there is a stranger still sleeping in your bed at your house. 6 star hangover (******) Otherwise known as the "Infinite Nutsmacker" You wake up on your bathroom floor. For about 2 seconds you look at the ceiling, wondering if the cool refreshing feeling on your cheek is the bathroom tile or your vomit from 5 hours ago. It is amazing how your roommate who was as drunk as you, but somehow manages to get up before you the next morning... You try to lift your head. Not an option. It is when you turn your head too quickly only to smell the funk of 13 packs of cigarettes in your hair, and suddenly you realize you were smoking, but not ultra lights... some jackass handed you Marlboro reds, and you smoked them like it was your second full time job. You look in the mirror only to see remnants of the stamp "Ready to Rock" faintly atop your forehead... that explains the stamp on the back of your hand that has magically appeared on your forehead by alcoholic osmosis. You have to be to work in t-minus 14 minutes and 32 seconds and the only thing you can think of wearing is your "hello kitty" pajamas and your slippers

Hey, you hoser!!! Tell me a Newfie joke eh!!

Not even a night on my futon dammit?? ROTFL!!!

Now I'm over it, though!!

But I, as well, was wrong.