Nataly

Yep... That's what my man is getting - and the best part is he can "re-gift" it right back to me!! Generally not right back, return processing takes a little time... True... Plus it needs to be re-packaged!!! "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Yep... That's what my man is getting - and the best part is he can "re-gift" it right back to me!! "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

I was really interested by what a friend told me the other day... He said he has always liked hanging out with older people because he finds he learns more from them and some of their good qualities rub off on him. I liked the idea as a concept, but wondered if skydivers are influenced much by their "environment"... If I had to make a guess, I would say jumpers have a rather high proportion of Alpha-males/females, so maybe that means we are less influenced by others/circumstances?? So... Do you change according to your environment and/or the people around you??? "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Like a cub scout would in a Vegas whorehouse. Maybe they were targeting the European market - no cup-holders in cars and tiny fridges!! "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

You know you can't just redefine the meaning of words based on your feelings? And why would I be bitter if I have nothing to be bitter about? Both definitions apply... Not of great quality according to my tastes. I didn't change the definition or misuse the word. And dude, your statements on women are highly offensive. Perhaps you need to change your view to more accurately reflect reality... Saying that most women bring nothing to the table aside from a vagina is just as offensive (and wrong) as saying that most men have nothing offer but money... "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Hedge my bets? Never. I will date a guy if I think he's pretty great and it's hard enough to find one of those!! Why fuck it up by dating more than one person? Why date someone if there's no hope for long-term happiness with that person? I'd just rather be single than with someone mediocre (or worse - several mediocre people!!!!) You do realize that a lot of men probably consider you mediocre? Where does this entitlement attitude arise in women nowadays that, just because they have a vag, they can demand any crazy shit they can come up with from men? Um... I want a guy who is great for me. That's not an "entitlement attitude" - it's just plain common sense! By "mediocre" I simply mean "not a great match". Sheesh! This has nothing to do with a bad attitude or owning a "vag"!! It's not crazy to want someone who is compatible with me, nor is it crazy to want to be in a relationship that has the potential to last a long time. Are you perhaps a little bit bitter over something?? Who are these women you speak of?? Most women I know just want to be happy!! ETA - "Most women bring nothing to the table"??? Everyone has something to offer... Holy crap - this is a bad (and wrong!) attitude you've got there... Seriously, if you really feel this way you may be attracting the wrong kind of women or else maybe you treat them so badly they end up all being "horrible"... Hmmm... EFTA - and no, 50% of people are NOT below "average intelligence". Intelligence is a bell-curve - *most* people fall within the average. "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

He isn't pudgy - he works out a lot and has that "body-builder" look. Maybe he used to be less stalky/built and worries he will get "fat" again. Who knows? It's like someone said, though.. If he genuinely has an eating disorder (I don't really think he does), that would be pretty awful. I do, however, think he has body-image / self-esteem issues. And that's unfortunate. Just for fun, a couple of pictures of my "bigger" days (I've been bigger than this, but oddly enough I have no pics of this period in my life!). I'm about 35 lbs lighter than that now, and you can really see the difference in my face!! I didn't feel guilty about food then and I don't feel guilty about food now. "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

I love exchanging goofy gifts!! They're usually more fun than "serious" ones

It's a little creepy that you're insinuating you've visited me without my knowledge!! Or participation. I'd bet you've visited a lot of male DZ.commers in their dreams. Especially considering some of the things you've said, and some of the pics you've posted. Yeah... Those goth pics should never have gone public!! "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

It's a little creepy that you're insinuating you've visited me without my knowledge!! "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Ah, ok.. So dating is like "hanging out" with someone before it gets serious.. Maybe that's more of an american thing.. I tend to think of dating as when you've stopped hanging out and you're actually a couple. So on that basis, sure, open dating - why not. Never happened to me, but in theory it's fine. "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Hedge my bets? Never. I will date a guy if I think he's pretty great and it's hard enough to find one of those!! Why fuck it up by dating more than one person? Why date someone if there's no hope for long-term happiness with that person? I'd just rather be single than with someone mediocre (or worse - several mediocre people!!!!) "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

I'm not sure he is/isn't a poof!! I don't know him well enough to speculate and anyway I couldn't care less about his preference - as long as he leaves me alone it's all good

I don't feel guilty over the first two and I don't know what 3-putting is!!! I remember feeling a lot of guilt over not studying when I knew I should (I was a teenager - at the time grades seemed all-important)... I can remember feeling guilty over spending money when I first started earning it... I can remember feeling guilty over saying stuff I shouldn't in the heat of an argument... But I've never felt guilt from food, sex, or doing something fun! I'm trying to think of an occasion that would be an exception, but I really can't come up with one!! "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

I can't do that - it's his place he's subletting!! Having flatmates does suck, but I'm sure I have my annoying habits as well - on balance he's ok. And no, he is not my b/f. He's not my type. "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

I don't feel guilty over *who* I eat either!! "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Yep, same for me. I don't really have that kind of relationship with food. I'm hungry - I eat. Simple. And yeah, it isn't any of his business, but I don't care - what he says reflects his complex, not mine!! Still, I find it unusual the way he seems to anguish over every little morsel of food. He's strange when he eats as well.. He gorges on food, says he ate too much, eats some more, and then spends hours at the gym to "burn it off". He's *constantly* talking about food - like he's obsessed. I just don't think about food unless I'm hungry, so all this seems kinda weird to me. It's not 'cause I'm skinny either - I've fluctuated a lot and even when I was heavy I didn't think about it. Meh. Different strokes for different folks... "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

I share an apartment with a guy and I swear every time I eat something he makes a comment like "whew - that's gonna be lots of hours at the gym!" or "ohh, that's really fatty - you're not going to stay skinny eating that!" Honestly, I think he has a food complex, because all he ever talks about is food in relation to fat and/or guilt. I was just wondering if this is common?? Do you feel guilty when you eat?? "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

On the contrary... I've had some amazing relationships and I take the view that they were great while they lasted. That's a positive (and I think healthy) perspective/attitude

Heh... I'm the same... I wonder sometimes how I would cope if I had kids in the mix... "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Do you have it? Saw this interesting talk... Made me laugh when he admitted he was great at balancing work and life when he wasn't working!! Reminded me of my current situation! http://www.ted.com/talks/nigel_marsh_how_to_make_work_life_balance_work.html "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

I think being a "good partner" means different things to different people... A good partner for my best friend would pobably be quite incompatible with me... For me, I am loyal, giving and supportive. I have a healthy sense of humour but I don't play games, I don't bullshit and I have no patience for those who do. I expect no less from my partner. Of course I have faults (big ones!) but to me you've got to accept the whole package. My partner can expect the same from me. After that there has to be some kind of chemistry between two people and that's perhaps the hardest thing to find... Dunno VB... Maybe it's healthy to keep a little bit of hope alive... You know... Lest you should stumble upon something good - you wouldn't want to walk right by without noticing! And btw... Sorry to hear about the breakup.. "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Well, two things... - I could fix that problem for you.

I'm talking about the broader picture and no, you cannot really know what is in the head of other people, even if they say they are happy... The point about "nothing lasts" is also bigger than just "marriage" and I would say that the end of one's life is a pretty obvious demonstration that things are ephemeral. I'm not saying I agree with this extreme point of view - just playing devil's advocate. And the idea that we have unrealistic expectations?? Well, yes, it is a point of view and not a fact. But I still say lots of people cling to bad relationships on the basis that they want it to work... I think this is unhealthy. I think there is value in relationships that are good even if they don't last "forever". Perhaps if we appreciated the good things (however short), there would be less pressure to "commit", thereby potentially reducing marriages that should never have happened anyway. See where I'm going with this?? It's about adjusting our perceptions so they are more accurate. It's about taking the pressure off. It's about appreciating the little things and not holding on to the bad stuff. But you're right... It is but a point of view... "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

That's ridiculous! It's funny how most the people that bash marriage (not just in this thread, but these forums in general) are ones that have failed marriages themselves. They then give the advice that "nothing lasts anyway". Plenty of people are living very happy committed lives. Please note, I've never been married myself, nor do I think that it's in the cards for me, but I certainly believe "forever" is possible. The people with "failed marriages" have an accurate view on marriage - they were married and are entitled to speak about their experience of it. You who believe in forever but haven't been married?? Well, you fall into the category of people who are hypothesising. Not saying you're wrong, but that you have less of a leg to stand on than the people who gave it a shot. Just my $0.02 You are correct in that they are entitled to speak about their experience of marriage. But that's about all I agree with. My point was to say that the advice of "nothing last forever" is not accurate. It didn't last for them, but it doesn't mean it won't last for the next guy. And "nothing" would include all marriages. I have seen plenty of marriages last until the end (one spouse dies). So it would be a factual statement that some do last, not an opinion. Though I haven't experience forever myself, I've witnessed it first hand. So this gives me both my legs to be able to give this accurate statement. The jaded advice that marriage will never last, based on the premise that their own did not last, is what I originally had a problem with. Ok, fair enough, but "plenty of people are living very happy committed lives" is a big statement, and one you cannot really back up. You seem (note I say *seem*) to imply that the people who experienced a "failed marriage" are not the norm, and by default that would make "successful marriages" the norm... Except it's pretty hard to define what makes a marriage successful... Is the mere act of staying together akin to a "successful" partnership? Can a marriage be successful whilst it lasted? All I'm saying is that it's not black and white... And those "jaded" divorcees have a valid point of view... In its most extreme case you could even argue that the death of one partner is simply more evidence that nothing lasts!!! I get your point - they may be overly pessimistic based on their own "bad" experience, but the opposite can also be true - people can be overly optimistic as well... Which nicely brings me back to my original point - people have very unrealistic expectations to start with and if we didn't we might approach relationships from a much healthier standpoint. "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss