lemonjelly

He's not wearing a rig.... It';s one of those childrens musical boxes..... the one where you pull the cord. By the looks of things the tunes only half way through too ************************************************* RED LIGHTS & OFF LANDINGS ARE JUST MY THANG http://www.redlightrob.co.uk

I gotta start at 10am and work through till 7pm Got to come in to 'look after' 10 F*^%&ng sad people!! so, not only here on the day, but also well bored to boot! Maybe start a 'Bah Humbug' thread on the day Anyone in a worse position than I?? To all of you who aint working..... ENJOY

From the side view, it looks just like a ford escort ************************************************* RED LIGHTS & OFF LANDINGS ARE JUST MY THANG http://www.redlightrob.co.uk

good morning / Afternoon. You calmed down yet? I promise, there will be no hijacking today

Once upon a time, there was a young, beautiful lady who couldn't sleep. No matter how hard she tried her eyes just would not close She counted sheep, dreamt of politics and politicians but, no matter how boring the subject, her peepers just would not close............. NEXT.... ************************************************* RED LIGHTS & OFF LANDINGS ARE JUST MY THANG http://www.redlightrob.co.uk

Missing you already ************************************************* RED LIGHTS & OFF LANDINGS ARE JUST MY THANG http://www.redlightrob.co.uk

Twas -11 in Inverness, Scotland last evening. Now that's cold enough to freeze the testicles off a brass monkey! ************************************************* RED LIGHTS & OFF LANDINGS ARE JUST MY THANG http://www.redlightrob.co.uk

Please accept my most humble apologies. It won't happen again. Honest P.s I'm really 6ft tall. .............. short ass ************************************************* RED LIGHTS & OFF LANDINGS ARE JUST MY THANG http://www.redlightrob.co.uk

Cheers. I shall. Really going to sort out my "left leg problem" Got this thing out dropping my left leg and initiating a spin. Not nice. Gonna film my time and Hopefully I'll be positive when I return.

Thank you all I hope you have the best christmas time that you have ever had. BTW We built a snowman that was bigger than us all... besides the 1 tall dude ************************************************* RED LIGHTS & OFF LANDINGS ARE JUST MY THANG http://www.redlightrob.co.uk

I'm 5ft 1inch tall ************************************************* RED LIGHTS & OFF LANDINGS ARE JUST MY THANG http://www.redlightrob.co.uk

I got a spare room that I'm letting at the moment ************************************************* RED LIGHTS & OFF LANDINGS ARE JUST MY THANG http://www.redlightrob.co.uk

Dave was bragging to his bosses one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them." Tired of his boasting, one of his bosses called his bluff, "OK, Dave, how about Tom Cruise?" "No drama's boss, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it." So Dave and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door and sure enough, Tom Cruise shouts, "Dave! What's happenin?!? Great to see you! Come on in for a beer!" Although impressed, Dave's boss is still sceptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells him that he thinks Dave's knowing Cruise was just lucky. "No, no, just name anyone else," Dave says. "President Bush," his boss quickly retorts. "Yup," Dave says, "Old buddies,let's fly out to Washington." And off they go. >At the White House, Bush spots Dave on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Dave, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and>catch up." Well, the boss is very shaken by now but still not totally convinced. >After they leave the White House grounds he expresses his doubts to Dave, who >again implores him to name anyone else. > > > >"The Pope," his boss replies. >"Sure!" says Dave. "My folks are from Poland, and I've known the Pope a long time." So off they fly to Rome. Dave and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Dave says, "This will never work... I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the>Pope." > > > >And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later Dave emerges with the Pope on the balcony but by the time Dave returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics. >Working his way to his boss' side, Dave asks him, "What happened?" His boss >looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, "Who the f***'s that on the balcony with Dave?" ************************************************* RED LIGHTS & OFF LANDINGS ARE JUST MY THANG http://www.redlightrob.co.uk

have you been before ? So much fun! Pity about last year though. Feel sorry for all who traveled from far off to attend, only for it to be cancelled due to weather ************************************************* RED LIGHTS & OFF LANDINGS ARE JUST MY THANG http://www.redlightrob.co.uk

I was actually waiting for someone to rip the piss out of me for a crap joke. Cool mate, I like you I think it's funy too. Here's another, A butcher asks his assistant to get some meat from te top shelf in the freezer The assistant replies "I can't boss, the steaks are too high"

Just got myself a hold of 2 free tickets

That wasn't the reply that I was expecting. I'll just remove the barrel of the pistol away from my forehead now. ************************************************* RED LIGHTS & OFF LANDINGS ARE JUST MY THANG http://www.redlightrob.co.uk

what a bumer ************************************************* RED LIGHTS & OFF LANDINGS ARE JUST MY THANG http://www.redlightrob.co.uk

mmmmmm nice! They left my telly. Probably cause it's 14" black and white. ************************************************* RED LIGHTS & OFF LANDINGS ARE JUST MY THANG http://www.redlightrob.co.uk

you have all heard of the case of the cowboy wearing paper clothes....... He was hanged for rustling ************************************************* RED LIGHTS & OFF LANDINGS ARE JUST MY THANG http://www.redlightrob.co.uk

nothin! Someone broke into my flat and knicked all my pressies from under the tree Im skint All donations will be gratefully accepted though. ************************************************* RED LIGHTS & OFF LANDINGS ARE JUST MY THANG http://www.redlightrob.co.uk

yup, got 5 mins fro 4 days. So has my buddy. Hopefully we can share the time

I'm going on 6th Jan. Anyone been here?? What like? does it count towards my freefall time? Is 5 mins per day enough?? ************************************************* RED LIGHTS & OFF LANDINGS ARE JUST MY THANG http://www.redlightrob.co.uk

'dae that again and jist see what happens big man" Takes skill to hit the low windaes! ************************************************* RED LIGHTS & OFF LANDINGS ARE JUST MY THANG http://www.redlightrob.co.uk

how many statisticians does it take to change a lightbulb? ************************************************* RED LIGHTS & OFF LANDINGS ARE JUST MY THANG http://www.redlightrob.co.uk