jfields

Chromeboy, that was pathetic. Yelling, "Wake up." Bah. Try this: Sheep. Small Canopies. Cheap Beer. RSL's. BOOBIES! That might work better.

I don't judge by the number of jumps. It's the quality, man! I can't answer about the small/performance canopies. I fly a Sabre 190 at about 1.15:1. For me, a sweet landing is when I end up on two feet without biffing. Justin

Skreamer, I think you'd have to do more than stop brushing your teeth to catch up to them. Try using lime juice instead of mouthwash for a decade or two. That is one thing I found disgusting about the UK, from a biased American perspective. Justin

You call the mosquito bite she showed me a bruise? Justin

Nah. She is cute.

Thanks for the analogy, you bastard! Justin

Scratch, I know that guys will want to get in her pants, and that she will actually want them there. The problem is in making sure that the guys she wants to jump her are at least halfway decent. It is inevitable, but I hope she at least has some taste. So, nobody like Skreamer or Clay. What nightmare it would be if one of their little clone offspring tried to hook up with my daughter.

Damnit! How did you find her? Yeah, I hear ya. Being a guy, I know what guys are like. Seeing her go on her first date will probably be worse than when I have my first skydiving malfunction. Justin

Yup. She is mine. So she will definitely be a pain in the ass just like dad. Instead of starting a college fund, perhaps I should be accumulating bail money. Justin

Skreamer, you are lucky she didn't take you to court asking for damages for incompetent service. Of course, in your case, it would have to be "small claims court". Very small. Microscopic.

Yes. Birds too. Bonus! Justin

Only fancy, high-priced ones have a privacy policy, much less a box to uncheck. The normal ones automatically spam you. Or so I've been told, of course.

Clay... Skreamer.... taking notes? Justin

Damnit, I hate when the thing posts twice. Justin

Richard, You can't get big booty hoes for $500. You can only get regular ones. Big booty hoes only come in double jeopardy. Don't you know anything?

Like kmcguffee said, we need the details. Do you mean a particular Big Booty Hoe, or the generic type? Come on, man! Help us to help you! Justin

Unless the scars are urological in nature, in which case you are allowed to decline.

So tell me, John, just what do my noodles smell like? Justin

Lost your diary again, Clay? And no Skyrose, I haven't been drinking... yet.

King Missile's "Detachable Penis": I woke up this morning with a bad hangover and my penis was missing again. This happens all the time: it's detachable. This comes in handy a lot of the time: I can leave it home when I think it's going to get me in trouble, or I can rent it out when I don't need it. But now and then I go to a party, get drunk, and the next morning I can't for the life of me remember what I did with it. First I looked around my apartment and I couldn't find it so I called up the place where the party was. They hadn't seen it either. I asked them to check the medicine cabinet (because for some reason I leave it there sometimes) but not this time. So I told them if it pops up to let me know. I called some other people from the party but they were no help either. I was starting to get desperate. I really don't like being without my penis for too long. It makes me feel like less of a man, and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak. After a few hours of searching the house and calling everyone I could think of, I was starting to get very depressed. So I went to the Kiev and ate breakfast. Then as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's place where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street, I saw my penis lying on a blanket next to a broken toaster oven. Some guy was selling it. He wanted 22 bucks, but I talked him down to 17. I took it home, washed it off, and put it back on. I was happy again. Complete. People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached, but, I don't know. Even though it's sometimes a pain in the ass, I like having a detachable penis. Justin

So, what you're saying is that it was basically a LBFM in training buying you free beer? Holy Cow, man! I'm surprised you ever left.

Or me. I can do more scaring than all 10 idiots by myself. Justin

Clay, LBFM? Justin

What? No toothpaste in your house, ChromeBoy? Justin

Thanks ScottishJohn for the hearty laugh at Skreamer's expense! Justin