downwardspiral

HAHHAHHAHAHAHHAHAH www.FourWheelerHB.com

Q - Why do sailors have tattoos? A - So Marines will have something to read. mh Oaths Of Enlistment ID1311 U.S. AIR FORCE OATH OF ENLISTMENT I, Zoomie, swear to sign away four years of my useless life to the United States Air Force because I know I couldn't hack it in the Army and because the Marines frighten me. I swear to sit behind a desk and take credit for the work done by others more dedicated than me who take their job seriously. I also swear not to do any form of real exercise, but promise to defend our bike-riding test as a valid form of exercise. I swear to uphold and defend the Constitution of the United States, even though I believe myself to be above that. I promise to walk around calling everyone by their first name because I know I'm not really in the military and I find it amusing to annoy the other services. I will have a better quality of life than all those around me and will at all times be sure to make them aware of that fact. After completion of my -- snicker -- "basic training," I will be a lean, mean, doughnut-eating, lazy-boy sitting, civilian-wearing-blue-clothes, Chairborne Ranger. I will believe that I am superior to all others, and will make an effort to clean the knife before stabbing the next person in the back with it. I will do no work unless someone is watching me (and it makes me look good), will annoy those around me, and will go home early everyday. I consent to never getting promoted -- EVER -- and understand that all those whom I made fun of yesterday probably will outrank me tomorrow. So help me God. Signature: ___________________ Date: _________________ -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- U.S. ARMY OATH OF ENLISTMENT I, Rambo, swear to sign away four years of my mediocre life to the United States Army because I couldn't score high enough on the ASVAB to get into the Air Force, I'm not tough enough for the Marines, and the Navy won't take me because I can't swim. I will wear camouflage every day and tuck my trousers into my boots because I can't figure out how to use blousing straps. I promise to wear my uniform 24 hours a day even when I have a date. I will continue telling myself that I am a fierce killing machine because my drill sergeant told me I am, despite the fact that the only action I ever will see is a court martial for sexual harassment. I acknowledge the fact that I will make E-8 in my first year of service, and vow to maintain that it is because I scored perfect on my PT test. After completion of my sexual -- er -- I mean, BASIC training, I will attend a different Army school once every other month and return knowing less than I did when I left. On my first trip home after boot camp, I will walk around like I am cool and propose to my ninth-grade sweetheart. I will make my wife stay home, because if I let her out she might leave me for a smarter, better-looking Air Force guy. Should she leave me twelve times, I will continue to take her back. While at work, I will maintain a look of knowledge while getting absolutely nothing accomplished. I will arrive at work every day at 1000 hours because of morning PT and leave every day at 1300 hours to report back to the "COMPANY." I understand that I will undergo no training whatsoever that will help me get a job upon separation, and will end up working construction with my friends from high school. I will brag to everyone about the Army giving me $30,000 for college, but will be unable to use it because I can't pass a placement exam. So help me God. Signature:__________________ Date:_______________ U.S. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- NAVY OATH OF ALLEGIANCE I, Top Gun, in lieu of going to prison, swear to sign away four years of my life to the United States Navy because I want to hang out with Marines without actually having to BE one of them, because I thought the Air Force was too "corporate," and because I thought, "Hey, I like to swim...Why not?" I promise to wear clothing that went out of style in 1976 and to have my name stenciled on the butt of every pair of pants I own. I understand that I will be mistaken for the Good Humor man during the summer, and for the Waffen SS during the winter. I will strive to use a different language than the rest of the English-speaking world, using words like "deck, bulkhead, cover, and head," when I really mean "floor, wall, hat, and toilet." I will take great pride in the fact that all Navy acronyms, ranks and insignia, and everything else for that matter, are completely different from the other services and make absolutely no sense whatsoever. I will muster (whatever that is) at 0700 hours every morning unless I am buddy-buddy with the Chief, in which case I will show up around 0930 hours. I vow to hone my coffee cup handling skills to the point that I can stand up in a kayak being tossed around in a typhoon and still not spill a drop. I consent to being promoted and subsequently busted at least twice each fiscal year. I realize that, once selected for Chief, I am required to submit myself to the sick, and quite possibly illegal, whims of my new-found "colleagues." So help me Neptune. Signature:__________________ Date:_______________ -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- U.S. MARINE CORPS OATH OF ENLISTMENT I, ________________ (state name here), swear...uhhhh...high-and-tight... grunt... cammies... ugh... Air Force women.... HOORAH! So help me Corps. Thumb Print:___________________ Date:______________ www.FourWheelerHB.com

Ok now who knows what all those acronyms mean? www.FourWheelerHB.com

HAH! Yeah they don't waste time teaching us jarheads how to type/spell like they do squids. www.FourWheelerHB.com

It is possible to calculate the cloud drift vs the climbing speed of the plane to jump a sucker hole Agreed. The problem was that the whuffo wasn't accounting for "cloud drift." www.FourWheelerHB.com

Delta Force Airborne Rangers(USArmy) Green Berets(USArmy) SEAL Teams (USN) Force Recon (USMC) SEAR(USAF) Anything else? www.FourWheelerHB.com

excellent camera work something witty www.FourWheelerHB.com

Indeed I did get your point. The best thing about buddhism is that it isn't a religion. Its a philosophy. Its a beautiful way of life. For those of you who are interested in learning more feel free to visit http://www.buddhanet.net/ www.FourWheelerHB.com

Who Was the Buddha? Siddhata Gotama was born into a royal family in northen India, in 563 BC. At 29, he realised that wealth and luxury did not guarantee happiness, so he explored the different teachings religions and philosophies of the day, to find the key to human happiness. After six years of study and meditation he finally found 'the middle path' and was enlightened. After enlightenment, the Buddha spent the rest of his life teaching the principles of Buddhism - called the Dhamma, or Truth - until his death at the age of 80. www.FourWheelerHB.com

Holy shite! Until now I was a Bush supporter. www.FourWheelerHB.com

I wholeheartedly agree with kallend. Socialism sucks ass. Everyone keeps asking ... well what about these people and these people over here? Thats the beauty of capitalism folks. If there is a need it will be filled. If there is competition the price will go down. If I was an investor I would most certainly get involved in education because there will always be a need just like funeral homes. But because education is socialized there is not a need and we all know how well that is working out. If you can't afford to educate your kid/s, what business do you have breeding? Why should I have to pay for your kids education? In fact I end up paying for the kids of those people who can afford it because "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free." www.FourWheelerHB.com

hell yeah I'd continue! I don't have the dillusion that I'm invincible and realize that I could potentially be the cause of my death. Not continuing to skydive after a fatal mistake simply means you were dillusional and are now enlightened to your frailty. Give me a break people. Now if I was the cause of someone elses death I would most likely quit. www.FourWheelerHB.com

Serious question...what freedoms have you lost? www.FourWheelerHB.com

I am libertarian. We believe the smaller the government the better. Why? Because the government does a mediocre job at best. At least the American government does. I can't speak for any other countries since I have only ever lived in the U.S. Besides, those of us that are anti-socialists tend to lean more to the right. The leftists are for socialization. www.FourWheelerHB.com

Have you ever needed the service of a doctor, lawyer, engineer... etc??? I only ask because without any public funding I highly doubt you would ever have an educated class numerous enough to provide needed services. Do you really think that enough people can afford the price tag of a GOOD COMPLETE education on their own? Perhaps you wouldn't mind having to recruit thousands upon thousands of the professionals from around the world to fill your deficit Are saying that if the government doesn't educate us than we won't be educated? I'm sorry but capitalism doesn't work that way. Government is not necessary to make things happen. www.FourWheelerHB.com

Anyone who "believes" in public education has probably gone through it and is thus incapable of realizing how terrible a failure it is. A dept of education is not a terrible idea, but American public education is. Let me take this a step further. Why is it I have to pay for other people's kid's educations? I don't have any kids. When and if I do...what if I decide to send my kids to a private school? Will I not still be taxed for other people's kid's educations? www.FourWheelerHB.com

Heh, everything we do during a skydive is easy. At least to wuffos. I've been working full time in the sport for the last 3 years and here are some of the things that wuffos have said to me. Formation skydiving: It's just holding hands. How hard can that be? Tandem skydiving: What do you mean me and my friends can't hold hands in freefall? Cloudy days: There is a hole over there (at least 2 miles away from dz) why can't we jump through that? After witnessing the winds gust to 40 mph after a load exited: What do you mean we can't jump till the winds calm down? Skysurfing: I surf, snowboard and skate, it can't be that much different. After witnessing a cameraflyer fall away from a tandem during opening: OMG! He wasn't connected! Big ballz contest: Ever been boar hunting with a knife? and my favorite... This on really gets to me: I'm not that stupid! www.FourWheelerHB.com

not one mention of the split pee phenomenon. why is it that the split is rarely close enough to get both streams in the toilet at the same time? www.FourWheelerHB.com

duh www.FourWheelerHB.com

Concerning the military... if you can not carry a wounded person to relative safety, you should be in the rear with the gear. Plain and simple. www.FourWheelerHB.com

well we all know there is no such thing as a flawless justice system because of one thing...the human factor. You make good points and as it turns out i have no rebuttle. I can only hope that our appointed judges use extreme prejudice during sentencing. Does that mean I am suddenly against the death penalty? Hardly. I don't think we should give up on CP just because a justice system is flawed. I think putting an innocent person to death is equally as horrible as making that same person spend their life in prison. Focusing on perfecting (or getting as close as possible to) the justice system would be more productive. www.FourWheelerHB.com

Huh? a joke. some people deserve death. i hope the d.c sniper gets it good. if not the death penalt, prison butt love for the rest of his life. www.FourWheelerHB.com

kill the commie bastards! www.FourWheelerHB.com

i was thinking you were drinking. its was that silly 'i'm typsy' kind of humor www.FourWheelerHB.com

LOL www.FourWheelerHB.com