tbrown

Office Space, Pee Wee Herman's Big Adventure, Bill and Ted's Great Adventure, and a lovely little late night dittie called Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things. Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

My senior year in college I did a lot of social dating with a woman who was a friend of mine. Wasn't interested in sex with her, even though she was really good looking. We just didn't get along on that level and would've fought like cats & dogs. But the situation was that her boyfriend was off on the road doing something (fairly typical in the seventies), so she was home alone for a really long time. It was a college town and there were all kinds of events and affairs she wanted to attend that she didn't want to go to by herself. I was seeing other women at the time, but they were cool and understood our friendship and thought I was doing a good thing squiring her around, so everybody had a good time. I would definitely say they were dates, even without any sex, which she and I were both getting from other people. Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

I feel wonderfully safe every time I leave the plane. It's a great feeling. But I know it's not as safe as it feels, or as safe as we'd like it to be. And it never will. I've had one injury that required surgery and a pin and I was really lucky to get off so easily. I'd have them cut my foot off before I ever quit jumping. But if you think it's so safe that it's boring, stick around for a year or two. Especially if you jump at one of the bigger dropzones. You'll see some of your friends get their turn as crutch pilots, maybe you'll get a crack at it yourself. And then that awful day will come when you see - and hear - somebody eat it. And it just might be somone you know. It WILL happen. Then you won't feel so bored or safe anymore. I'm not criticizing you, but I am warning you. What you're feeling is COMPLACENCY and you need to know it's the biggest killer in this game. Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

My bag has three grommets on the flap. I use a single long rubber band on the center grommet, without double stowing, just to get the canopy into the bag & win that battle. For the other two grommet stows on the sides and all the regular line stows, I only use the short bands. I read somewhere that double twisting long bands increases the abrasion of thhe stow on the lines. Don't know if that's really true, but it sounds reasonable. Then when I was helping a friend stow his lines, I took a closer look at how I do it and realized I stiffen a finger and run it through the rubber band almost like a knitting needle with the lines I'm stowing. Works just great. Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

I'll go up and jump out of almost anything, but I sure do love Skyvans. They're just so much more fun. Noisy though... Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

I've done it both ways with two different women and it's not the same. Lived with my girlfriend in college for about a year, then married a different woman without living together. We're still together after 24 years and two kids. We hold to our own views concerning religion, but without going there, I've got to say there is a commitment to marriage that makes it altogether different from just living together, whether or not you're religious. I think a lot of marriages fail for the simple reason that too many people don't understand what marriage is about. No moral problem with people living together, if that's what you want then go for it. But it isn't necessary, or even a good indicator of how marriage will work. Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

What makes me suspicious is the shape of the head, which is partly obstructed by the bushes. The head looks like it might have the telltale "heart" shape of a viper head. Of the four poisonous snakes in America, three are vipers; rattlesnakes, cottonmouths and water mocassins. The fourth snake, the Coral Snake, is actually a type of Cobra and does not have a viper head. Coral snakes only live in the deep south, like Florida, and have the red, black & white rings. But vipers all have a head that's shaped like a heart or valentine. All the other non-poisionous snakes have a narrow head the same width as the body. So if the head appears to be wider, it's a viper. Stay away from it. If you have kids, shoot the thing. Snakes are beautiful they eat rats & God bless 'em, but kids are even more precious (and they eat rats too...). Which brings up another topic, encountering snakes on the dropzone, or after an out landing. Does everybody know to look OVER a fallen log, or a large rock, to see what's on the other side before stepping over it ? A lot of people who don't look first get bitten that way. We have encountered rattlers at Perris once in the parking lot, a HUGE rattler at Otay underneath a packing table (this was in the old days), and another big rattler at Z-Hills UNDERNEATH A CUTAWAY MAIN. The locals advised us to pick up a cutaway by picking up a riser and dragging the canopy for a few feet before attempting to pick it up. Good thing too because there was a big rattler underneath and boy was it PISSED OFF. One more reason not to jump in sandles... Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

Scariest thing EVER was taking LSD when I was 14 years old, having a bad trip and not coming down for 3 days. Thought I was going to be one of those acid casualty mental cases. Hard thing to take at that age, especially when I didn't feel I could talk to any adults about it. 1970 was a year full of acid flashbacks, no fun at all. Thanks to God and the Jefferson Airplane for coming to town and helping to lift my mood. Skydiving, it's a toss up. Used to pack student T-10 canopies for a dollar apiece, until one day when a first jump student had to chop a streamer. The JM went psycho on me in the plane and started knocking me around. He was a bit of a headcase himself. Records showed I was not the packer of the streamered canopy and the student made a successful cutaway and reserve deployment. He also dropped his gear in place on landing, told the DZO to go fuck himself, then got in his car and drove away. This was 1976. But thinking that I MIGHT have packed his mal made me sick to my stomach and I never packed student gear again. Finally, my first cutaway in 1979, I went head down and felt the reserve pilot chute hit my foot when I pulled. This was a round reserve - no freebag. I could almost feel my hair turning snow white until I got line stretch and realized I was going to live after all. Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

I'll be at Perris for Memorial Day. As far as the vibes go, I prefer the people at Elsinore. But Perris has a Skyvan and I'm a sucker for that 'Van... The pace at Perris is definitely more hectic. I take a lot of shit from people who use packers or trash pack because my 20 min. pack job isn't fast enough to suit them. At Elsinore, with fewer aircraft, it's just not an issue, as everyone has to wait a bit for their next load. Wind devils: both places have them, especially in summer. Elsinore scares me worse, since the wind devils there seem bigger and more violent. Also so much of the dropzone is planted with grass, you can't see them. At Perris, only the swoop zone is grassy, the rest of the place kicks up a dust tornado if a wind devil is passing through, so you have a better warning. Elsinore is more like family. Funny, because years ago it was the other way around. Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

I know Tempos are crap*** I don't know a whole lot about Tempos, but I do personally know Sparky, and if he jumps a Tempo they can't be crap or he wouldn't jump one. The Tempo was built by PISA, which is now part of Aerodyne. The Tempo, as well as Aerodyne's Amigo reserve, were both discontinued and replaced by the Smart reserve. I would imagine that the Smart probably incorporates advances in design and construction over both the Amigo and the Tempo, or at least I'd certainly expect it to. I have also heard, from Tempo owners, that there were some design and construction changes made in the Tempo in 2001 to make them stronger for high speed deployments. You might want to look into that regarding any Tempo that you own. But I've only heard of Tempos having a good track record for saving their owners' lives and haven't heard of any catastrophic failures. So, while the Tempo is a discontinued canopy, and while the construction may have been improved after 2001, I wouldn't call them crap by any means - nor any Raven either. They've both saved a lot of lives, even if their design or construction isn't as good as a PD or a Smart. Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

I started jumping back in the seventies when AAD's weren't nearly as reliable as the Cypres or Vigil are today. In those days we considered AADs to be dangerously unreliable. They were okay for students, but not for experienced jumpers, especially doing relative work with lots of other people in the sky, because the old models could unpredictably pop at 3000+ ft and cause a fatal collision. But at the same time, those were the years that some really great jumpers went in with no pull, or a pull too low to do any good. Like jeanni McCombs, who had thousands of jumps and was a former US/World Champion. We worshipped jeanni. And she went in without ever pulling. We don't know why, and she never said, because she's dead. This was all before the Cypres. If jeanni had a Cypres, she'd only be severely embarrassed, maybe even humiliated, but almost certainly not dead. And she's just one of the more famous examples. There was Tom Piras, who had over 10,000 jumps and even had a Cypres - which he forgot to turn on. You can't turn one on in the plane, it's just not safe. So he told his friend, "remind me to turn this thing on when we get back on the ground". Tom got hit on the head and knocked out cold on that dive. He apparently came to and pulled his reserve, but too low to do any good. His death got people to start thinking seriously about using the Cypres, after all if it could happen to him.... Simple fact is that the Cypres and the RSL have changed the picture of what kills people in our sport. Used to be that "no pull/low pull" was the No. 1 killer. Now it's plowing a perfectly good canopy into the ground with you under it. So spend the money, get a Cypres, hook up your RSL, and take a good canopy course. And NEVER believe that it can't happen to you, because it can. EVERY time you jump. Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

Good for you. This may be so obvious it seems patronizing, but after what happened at Perris, please remember not to turn the thing on UNTIL you arrive at the dropzone, especially if where you live is a different field elevation. We all assume everyone knows this, but Michelle Spray didn't and it needlessly cost her life. So I'd rather feel dumb for saying this than sorry for not mentioning it. I got a used CYPRES last month. Haven't installed it yet, but I will sometime within the next couple months. Why wait ? It's not doing you any good sitting in a closet. If you're waiting for your next repack, most riggers will install it and reclose the container IF it's their original packjob. My rigger will install or remove a Cypres from his packjobs for just $10. Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

I'll be there. This year I'll even be jumping. Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

Thanks GFD, it's good to know we're actually part of a cause greater than ourselves. Working for the greater good, a better tomorrow, and so forth... Nice porn site too, for once it's nice to see somethin' sexy that doesn't make you feel all skanky or like you need a shower. Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

"Thank God My Reserve Deployed" (to the tune of John Denver's "Thank God I'm a Country Boy"). Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

Shape shifting would be fascinating. Odo was always one of the best characters on Deep Space Nine, along with his whole race, who all lived together in a lake - or rather they WERE the lake. Totally cool... Turning into another person, a man or a woman, any kind of animal, a plant, or even a piece of furniture, or anything. Wouldn't need a rig to skydive anymore, I could turn into a bird or a bat, or just "grow" a Velocity canopy if I wanted to. Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

Nice lookin' sister you got there, you ever bring her out to the dropzone ? Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

132 jumps in 3 years is not a whole lot experience to be trying a pullout p/c. They're really not recommended for lower experience levels because they have their own sets of problems if they're not packed or pulled correctly. Statistics (ahem...) have actually shown a higher rate of deployment malfunctions on pullouts than with throwaways. Though most people switch to pullouts in order to avoid problems like pilot chutes in tow or horseshoes. To make this short and to the point, you'd probably be safer, at your experience level, with a throwaway. Just keep up with proper maintenance and give it a proper throw and you'll be fine. If you MUST go to a pullout, get some thorough training and ground practice before jumping it. The fact that both systems have been around for 30 years and over 90% of all rigs are built & sold with throwaway should tell you something.... Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

I jump a Pilot now too, but for about a year was jumping a Spectre and loved it. You can't get a softer opening anywhere, it's like falling over backwards into a feather bed. It just takes a while to open, as it has a notoriously snivelly opening - so bring along a good book... I've made it back from some very long spots, even one when I pulled on the low side (my fault) and I still made it back to the drop zone's property. The flare is terrific, the landings are soft. AND I have seen people swoop the things, escpecially in the smaller sizes. You may not ever want to swoop - I don't either - but it IS possible if you ever change your mind. As a seven cell, the Spectre doesn't have the long flat glide of a 9 cell, but that's a matter of personal taste. The Spectre is deservedly one of the GREAT canopies of all time ! Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

Back in the seventies, Kenny Rogers had a song called "A Fine Time to Leave Me Lucille". It was a real country shitkicker, "with four hungry children and crops in the field", and blah, blah. We used to get all shitfaced at the Seneca Sport Parachute Club and start singing it really loud on Saturday nights, usually Howie Martin and Pat Stone would get it started. It was so awful it was great. Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

Hey, do it while you can. When you want to buy a house, you will. When you want to have kids, you will (that or you'll just find out you're pregnant one fine day, it happens...). Nobody's ever "ready" for a kid, but can still want one. They're important too and will make you complete in a lot of ways, but there's no rush. Have fun now for a lifetime of memories and don't sweat any of it. Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

What she said, only I'm a dad. My wife has only ever jumped once, but is totally cool & supportive of my jumping. But marriage and family create other responsibilities. When I was young and single I made over 500 jumps with no AAD. I have every confidence in my ability to jump without one now, but while my Cypres is off to Ohio for it's 4 year dusting & cleaning, my wife has asked me not to jump without it. I'm not as free to make the decisions about my own life as I used to be. The Cypres will be back soon enough, and in the meantime there ARE other things to do with your life. By the way Chris, your rigger should be able to reinstall your Cypres without having to open the freebag. Most riggers will do it if it's THEIR pack job. And mine will only charge $10 for his trouble doing it. Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

I do have some issue with reaching back and trying to pull the pin. Again, I don't believe you have time to waste. Back about 24 years ago we lost a guy named Tom DeMotts at Perris who tried to haul in a pilot chute in tow. In those days a lot of rigs stowed the p/c on a belly band and it was a common mistake to wrap the bridle around the belly band and have a p/c in tow. Tom didn't want to risk deploying his reserve into a p/c in tow (probably a round reserve in those days too, so no freebag - if you wrapped your reserve p/c around anything you were done for). So Tom went in trying to haul the thing in. There simply isn't the time to do things like that. Somebody else said it best, might've been Ron - that this is no time for "amateur rigging". It's a scary situation and whether you cutaway first or not, there is no guarantee that either way is going to work, which is what makes it so scary. But that silver handle has GOT to be pulled, and quickly, or else all your tomorrows are cancelled. So forget about trying to fix your gear, it already isn't working. Pull 'em both or just pull silver, but especially pull that silver ! Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

Saw The Beatles on Ed Sullivision when I was 8 years old. Believe it or not, our mom made us watch - a decision she regrets to this day. They looked so weird with their "long hair", it sure was longer than any hair we'd ever seen on a man. But they were SO GOOD ! They were playing "She Loves You" and all the girls in Sullivan's audience were going shrieking nuts. We KNEW this was something completely different. It was so different, so good, we didn't even know what to do about it. So we just laughed ourselves silly. And so The Beatles helped America to snap out of our national bummer over the JFK assasination. They made it okay to have fun again. Then they changed the face of western culture, but that took a few more years. Well done guys... Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

Maybe not per se, but I don't see why remembrance can't be incorporated into Safety Day. For one thing, Safety Day is held at the beginning of the season. And of course, much discussion is aimed at past mistakes and how to not repeat them. A short ceremony to remember and resolve not to repeat past mistakes might be a nice touch to kicking off a new season. Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !