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Everything posted by tbrown
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An innocent fare-dodger or a real suicide bomber? will we ever know? Actually, as of today we do know. London police have now come clean and said the guy "had nothing to do with" the current bombing investigations. Oopsy..... Not go completely soft on the cops, they are under strict shoot-to-kill orders and the orders are for head shots to minimize the chance of detonating explosives with a bullet. And under the present circumstances, if a cop says "you there", the best thing to do would be to freeze and raise your hands high, though this might not protect you from an immediate extra-judicial execution either. Unfortunately the British police services have a lousy record for ambushing and assasinating people that goes all the way back, most recently to the Northern Irish troubles. It was the standing order of the day to ambush and shoot first at any suspected IRA who were on the hit list, never mind that some of them later proved to have no connection to the bombings that were plagueing London in the seventies and eighties. There are still inquires, with the innocent being freed and the guilty not being brought to trial on one excuse or another. Time to go out and rent "Sins of the Father" with Daniel Day Lewis one more time... The only safe way to go in London now would be going naked. Is that legal over there ? Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !
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What, are you SERIOUS ? Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !
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Great to see you in the Gypsy Rose Otter this afternoon Deuce and later on the ground. Hope to see more of you soon. Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !
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Went to the Barnes & Noble HP shindig last night and the goode wife bought two copies at midnight, one for a friend. She and the younger daughter are devouring the book now and tell me they like it. I'll wait, as I'm reading the original Peter Pan by JM Barrie at the moment. Then I'll get my turn at the latest doings at Hogwarts. Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !
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Don't forget ash dives either. Every culture has its own funeral customs and so do we. Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !
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I've got my own clipper. I put the half inch adjuster on, or sometimes the quarter inch if it's summer and I'm in a shitty mood and just go at it. I even trim the neck myself. You can do that if you hold a mirror in your hand and look over your shoulder at a larger mirror, like in the bathroom. Then when I'm done, I shower and I got maintenance free hair for at least 6 weeks and I don't charge myself a cent. Check my avatar & see for yourself. Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !
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Collapsible Pilot Chutes - Unnecessary additional risk?
tbrown replied to xavenger's topic in Safety and Training
I've had one or two of those back in the seventies on an old model seven cell (a Pioneer Viking Superlite). My p/c wrapped around the front right lines and dragged like an anchor. I elected to keep the canopy, but as I got closer to the ground, the exertion of holding the canopy in a straight line of flight turned my right arm to jelly. By the time I landed, my arm simply would not obey when it was time to flare and I made a nice left turn into the fresh plowed dirt of the big student zone at Perris. I got up and walked away from that one, but I'm not so sure I would've if I'd done that with one of today's canopies. I might've broken some serious face. It's a fact that a pilot chute CAN take a dive underneath your canopy, or around a line group. Can't say for sure, but it stands to reason that a collapsed p/c would be a lot easier to handle. I might also add that there were plenty of p/c in tow malfunctions before collapsables ever came along, and they're not about to go away. I like kill line collapsables, even if I'm jumping a 210 ft canopy. They're safe, you just gotta learn how to use them and maintain them - just like the rest of your rig. Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity ! -
Seattle Man Dies Having Sex with a Horse.
tbrown replied to Gravitymaster's topic in Speakers Corner
Gotta wonder why the horse became so upset. Perhaps he was using the wrong hole?? Or which hole the horse was using. That would easily explain the getting killed part, especially if the horse was excited... Did the Medical Examiner find any horse shoe shaped bruises about the head and shoulders ? Was any hair pulled out of the guy's head ? Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity ! -
How do you explain Skydiving to whuffo friends?
tbrown replied to GogglesnTeeth's topic in The Bonfire
When I was younger, I used to bore the shit out of anyone who would listen. I could've delivered a fullblown filibuster on the subject - and sometimes did. Nowadays I try to keep it short and sweet. I tell people it's not for everybody, but it's the most beautiful place you can ever be. And there's only one way to get there. And I let it go at that, though I usually get a few questions, like "can you breathe up there ? (duh...)". Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity ! -
On my 8th jump, second freefall. The clouds had been rolling in and it was starting to rain. Raindrops on the Cessna's windows. My asshole JM told me everything was just fine and that he was going to follow me right off the step (he also told girl students he was a Catholic priest and offered to hear their confessions, if this gives you any idea of what kind of a guy he was). So naturally I TRUSTED him and got out on the step and jumped. I looked up and saw the asshole CLOSING THE DOOR, then this HUGE bolt of lightning shot straight across in front of me, while I was still freeffalling on the hill. Don't know what the actual distance was, but it was pretty fucking impressive. I then pulled, opened, and had a pretty normal descent and landing in the pouring rain under the umbrella of a 28 ft. round canopy. Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !
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I've had the fun of telling them twice. Once when I was eighteen. They wouldn't give me their permission when I was sixteen, so I had to wait two years until I could go on my own. Then again at age 47, when I returned to the sport after a 22 year layoff. "Who the hell do you think you are, George Bush ?!?! You have a family, blah, blah....". It was worse the second time around. When I broke my leg they hoped it finally cure me of the habit, but that didn't work either. We live on opposite sides of the country, so I don't bring it up and we don't talk about it much. My dad's always been better about it, mom has always been just awful. I try and remeind them at least I'm not cheating on my wife with some floozie. Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !
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Still raining up there ? Reminds me of ninety nine's, September summer Hope that shit clears up Or suicide rate could spike It rains enough there An ant farm down here, But the weather sure is nice, Jump all fuckin' year ! Don't forget Krisanne, Chicks Rock is in October, Hope we see you then ! Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !
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i'm just worried about what it will look like! the lines start moving from the center when i start to put it in the bag. our packer taught me the knee trick as well!!! i'm also scared of a really hard opening. Heidi there's just no gettting around it, jumping your first pack job is one of life's scarier experiences. Of course it's going to open, but try telling that to your natural survival instincts, they don't think so. bACK IN THE OLD DAYS (Oh god, here I go again...), we did our first pack job on our first freefall - usually around our 6th jump. Talk about double stressed. First million dollar question was whether we could keep it together enough to pull the string, then behind Door #2 was the BIGGER question of whether it would open or not. Mine did, of course. It's pretty hard to screw up, as long as your line groups are straight, slider is up, etc. And it will take you a few jumps to get over that feeling, even though the second time should be a lot better. But give it five or six jumps on your own packing and you'll be fixed for life. You'll TRUST your own skills. You'll understand that packing isn't rocket science (except maybe for reserves, which we leave to the rocket scientist riggers anyway) and that you can basically throw the thhing together, even in a big hurry, and it WILL open. It's a feeling called confidence and there's nothing like it. As for having to cutaway, it won't happen on your first packjob, I'm 99.9% sure of that. Nowadays on the gear we're jumping, you may just luck out and never have to do it at all. BUT seriously, it is part of the deal. It can happen on any jump and we have to always be ready to do it. We have the biggest fun because we're willing to take the risk. In the old days, on the old gear and a deranged attitude, I had too many cutaways. Nowadays, older and "wiser" and jumping thhe new gear, I haven't had one yet, but that could change this weekend and if it does, I'll be ready. So don't sweat it either way, you're gonna do just great ! Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !
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Oh hell, if I can get a passport and whatever kind of visa it takes, I want to go watch him plant, er, jump this thing. Should make an entertaining video short at skydivingmovies.com, especially for all the newbies who haven't seen this sort of thing yet. Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !
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Where's your first jump certificate?
tbrown replied to Orange1's topic in General Skydiving Discussions
Mine is in heaven, along with most of the other stuff I owned thirty years ago. But I do still have my first logbook with those first 100 jumps. Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity ! -
The 2005 musical version is pretty damn funny too - and it's in color ! Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !
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I want my lawyer and that's all I'm gonna say. Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !
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It will be interesting to see conservatives heads explode when they discover that reporters for the "left wing liberal press" are willing to go to jail rather than expose Rove as a traitor. "But . . . but . . . who do we bash?" The thing is though that they're laughing their asses off about it, because a.) they're so far getting away with a felony, because they think they're above the law, and b.) they're sending a journalist to jail. Throughout this whole affair, I've yet to hear ANYONE ask if the whole thing isn't backwards. They're sending the news reporters to jail while nobody touches the White House guy who committed a felony by exposing a CIA operative. By committing a serious crime in broad daylight and then imprisoning those who would write about it, they're sending a very clear message. They can do what they bloody well please and they will jail anyone who tries to stop them. Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !
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I think it's great, we may soon have three serious competitors in the field. And I wouldn't mind seeing a SERIOUS price cut in the 30-40% range either. I mean, figure it took years and years for somebody to finally come up with an AAD that most jumpers would take seriously (Cypres) and for their hard work they got a virtual monopoly for twelve or so years. Then after a rough start, the Vigil's looking like a real alternative. And now the Argus. Hey, I'm all for it, anything that makes all three of them work harder to make better and safer AADs at a lower price (ahem....), is better for all of us. I mean if you look around, we don't have just one canopy maker, or rig maker, or jumpsuit, altimeter, or helmet maker. So aside from the tricky technology, why should AADs be any different, This IS the 21st century, ain't it ?? Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !
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The most DISGUSTING thing that's ever happened to you
tbrown replied to ACMESkydiver's topic in The Bonfire
Back in my college days, I had a summer job with the town Sewer Dept. Sanitary sewers, not storm sewers (that was the Highway Dept's affair). Worked at the sewage treatment plant, which was a mostly pleasant combination of painting, mowing the lawn on a Deere tractor and smoking a lot of, well, you know... Then came the day when the big rotating blades in the primary settling tank got stuck in so much shit they stopped turning. Had to be fixed, so we drained away the water, laid down a cover of powdered chlorine, put on the waders and in we went, tying ropes to the blades and tugging until we freed the thing up. Thank God nobody lost their balance or fell over. Mostly it's just a matter of attitude though, because the funniest part was watching my brother throw up over the side when he showed up with the clean change of clothes I'd phoned home for. The only thing that ever undid me was when I shovelled out a blockage in a sewer line. After a while, shit sort of turns gray and doesn't really have much of a smell to it. But I scooped up a shovel full and saw CORN in it. That's the time I puked. The following summer I managed to get a job with the Highway Dept. I liked concrete and asphalt better. Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity ! -
Robert Bork was and is an asshole. The guy doesn't even think married couples have a legal righht to use birth control within the sanctity of their own homes and marriages. Bork was the obedient hatchet man Nixon turned to after the Attny General of the United States resigned and his next in command at Justice was fired for refusing to sack Watergate Special Council Archibald Cox. But Bork was only too happy to do the job. Bork told the Senate committee he wanted the job so he could enjoy "the intellectual feast". fuck him, we have real lives to live, not for some asshole scholar to amuse himself with. The confirmation process exists to prevent complete asshole like Bork from getting critical appointments and the system worked just fine, thank you very much. Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !
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Well........after 6 years and ~500 jumps I finally broke down
tbrown replied to freeflir29's topic in The Bonfire
Good move. Everybody should check out the "Double Cypres Save" video at skydivingmovies.com, it's in the Malfunctions thread. These two meatheads were doing fat & happy headdown, when the camera shows one guy's reserve pop, then almost instantly the camera is jerked upright by his own Cypres fire. He's barely got time to dodge his friend's reserve and get his brakes off before landing in somebody's back yard in a housing tract, so it looks like real time from start to finish. Best of all is hearing him say, "Holy shit ! Holy fuckin' shit !", as he picks himself up. Consider that a similar double-duh headdowner last year resulted in the death of one guy who didn't have an AAD. He saw his friend's reserve go off and pulled his own reserve. But he simply could not react quickly enough and cratered before his reserve could inflate - this time in somebody's front yard (nice touch there...). And with GREAT respect to Tonto, I know the things are a pain in the ass, I just paid a small fortune getting my 4 year done. But let's not forget Tom Piras went in with over 10,000 jumps, the one time he forgot to turn his Cypres on. Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity ! -
Watch only your own New Zealand movies. Like "Lord of the Rings" ? Not arguing your point about America or the flag, but NZ films are no crapola either. Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !
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I know everyone will have an opinion about the one they personally use, but how would someone know about the specific reputation for a particular one (like does it open hard?) There are plenty of good gear reviews right here at dropzone.com. Not just in the threads either. Click into the gear heading at the top of this page. There's sub-headings for main & reserve canopies, rigs, jumpsuits, altimeters, helmets, you name it. You have to kind of pick your way down through the manufacturers' names (you'll want to check out PD, Aerodyne, Icarus, and Precision for starters), and from there into the canopies, where you get to "Read Reviews" - you can write one too if you've got something to say about a piece of gear. You have to take some of the reviews with a grain of salt, as different people will love or hate the same canopy for all kinds of reasons. But it makes for good reading, you'll learn something and get an idea about how people generally feel about one canopy or another. Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !
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Everyone hits the wall skydiving at some point. It's hitting the ground you want to avoid. Hey, everybody's rootin' for you, so why not spill the beans and register your name ? Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !