davidlayne

In my day it was a packet of 5 Woodbines for a tanner. I don't care how many skydives you've got, until you stepped into complete darkness at 800' wearing 95 lbs of equipment and 42 lbs of parachute, son you are still a leg!

Anyone knowing the whereabouts of Matt Dunn please ask him to pm me. I don't care how many skydives you've got, until you stepped into complete darkness at 800' wearing 95 lbs of equipment and 42 lbs of parachute, son you are still a leg!

Smegma breath. I don't care how many skydives you've got, until you stepped into complete darkness at 800' wearing 95 lbs of equipment and 42 lbs of parachute, son you are still a leg!

how about this one called Fidelity. I will be forever faithful and forever true, Less than all my heart and soul I could not offer you. Love like ours is based on truth, on loyalty and trust. Far too beautiful a thing to drag into the dust. False delights and stolen joys for me no pleasures hold Little infidelities that tarnish loves pure gold. I am more than satisfied with your sweet memory Counting myself fortunate that you should care for me I don't care how many skydives you've got, until you stepped into complete darkness at 800' wearing 95 lbs of equipment and 42 lbs of parachute, son you are still a leg!

[url]http://www.brackenspub.com/beer.swf I don't care how many skydives you've got, until you stepped into complete darkness at 800' wearing 95 lbs of equipment and 42 lbs of parachute, son you are still a leg!

I started in 1966. My first 1200 or so jumps were on rounds. I used rear riser flaer on almost all of these, on all the canopies you mentioned. Rear riser flare properly executed get you nice landings. did rear riser flare on T 10 when in the military. I'm trying to remember the name of the canopy that had steering toggels on both front and rear risers, now that was confusing! Help me someone what was that canopy? I don't care how many skydives you've got, until you stepped into complete darkness at 800' wearing 95 lbs of equipment and 42 lbs of parachute, son you are still a leg!

The first is Smurf Sex. This occurs during the honeymoon period: you keep doing it until you're blue in the face. The second is Kitchen Sex. This is at the beginning of the marriage: you'll have sex anywhere, anytime, on the kitchen table, etc. The third kind is bedroom sex. You've calmed down a bit, perhaps have kids, so you gotta do it in the bedroom. The fourth kind is Hallway Sex. This is the phase in which you pass each other in the hallway and say, "Screw You!" This is called oral sex by some. There is a fifth kind of sex Courtroom Sex. This happens when you get divorced and your spouse screws you in front of everyone in the courtroom. The sixth kind of sex is Social Security Sex. That's when you get a little once a month, but it's not enough to live on. I don't care how many skydives you've got, until you stepped into complete darkness at 800' wearing 95 lbs of equipment and 42 lbs of parachute, son you are still a leg!

Memories of my youth..............standing on the terraces and its pissing down with. Pukka pie in hand................oh happy days. I don't care how many skydives you've got, until you stepped into complete darkness at 800' wearing 95 lbs of equipment and 42 lbs of parachute, son you are still a leg!

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons: I do physical labour I work at great depths I plunge head first into everything I do I do not get weekends and public holidays off In fact holidays and weekends is where I toil the most I work in a damp environment I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation I work in extremely high temperatures Dear Penis After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons: You do not work 8 hours straight You fall a sleep after brief work periods You do not always follow the orders of the management team You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations You do not take initiative, You need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing You will retire well before you are 65 You are unable to work double shifts You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task As if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the work place carrying two suspicous-looking bags. I don't care how many skydives you've got, until you stepped into complete darkness at 800' wearing 95 lbs of equipment and 42 lbs of parachute, son you are still a leg!

The Thames whale has lost it's fight..... RIP Made me blubber. I don't care how many skydives you've got, until you stepped into complete darkness at 800' wearing 95 lbs of equipment and 42 lbs of parachute, son you are still a leg!

CUTAWAY I don't care how many skydives you've got, until you stepped into complete darkness at 800' wearing 95 lbs of equipment and 42 lbs of parachute, son you are still a leg!

Do you reckon it did it on porpoise? I don't care how many skydives you've got, until you stepped into complete darkness at 800' wearing 95 lbs of equipment and 42 lbs of parachute, son you are still a leg!

THE PERFECT DAY FOR HER… 8:15 Wake up to hugs and kisses 8:30 Weigh-in 2 kgs lighter than yesterday 8:45 Breakfast in bed—freshly squeezed orange juice and croissants; open presents- expensive jewellery chosen by thoughtful partner 9:15 Soothing hot bath with frangipani bath oil 10:00 Light work-out at club with sexy, funny personal trainer 10:30 Facial, manicure, makeup application, shampoo, condition, blow wave 12:00 Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor café 12:45 Catch sight of partner’s ex and notice that she has gained 17 kgs 1:00 Shopping with friends: unlimited credit 3:00 Nap 4:00 Three dozen roses delivered by florist; card is from secret admirer 4:15 Massage from strong but gentle hunk—says he rarely gets to work on such a perfect body 5:30 Choose outfit from expensive designer wardrobe 7:30 Candlelit dinner for two followed by dancing, with compliments received from other diners/ dancers 10:00 Hot shower- alone 10:50 Carried to bed… freshly ironed, crisp, white linen 11:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling 11:15 Fall asleep in his big, strong arms THE PERFECT DAY FOR HIM… 6:00 Alarm 6:15 Blow job 6:30 Massive, satisfying shit while reading the sports section 7:00 Breakfast—steak and eggs, coffee and toast—all cooked by naked, buxom wench who bends over a lot 7:30 Limo arrives 7:45 Several beers en route to the airport 9:15 Flight in personal Lear jet 9:30 Limo to Mirage Resort Golf Club (blow job en-route) 9:45 Play front nine (2 under par) 11:45 Lunch—steak and lobster, 3 beers and bottle of Dom Perignon 12:15 Blow job 12:30 Play back nine (4 under) 2:15 Limo back to airport (several bourbons) 2:30 Fly to Bahamas 3:30 Late afternoon fishing expedition with all-female crew, all nude who also bend over a lot 4:30 Land world record Marlin (1234lbs)—on light tackle 5:00 Fly home, massage and hand job by naked Elle MacPherson (bending over, naturally) 6:45 Shit, shower and shave 7:00 Watch news—Michael Jackson assassinated 7:30 Dinner—lobster appetisers, Dom Perignon (1953), big juicy fillet steak followed by ice cream served on a big pair of tits 9:00 Napoleon Brandy and Habanos cigars in front of wall-sized TV as you watch football game 9:30 Sex with three women, all with lesbian tendencies 11:00 Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and a cleansing beer 11:30 Night-cap blow job 11:45 In bed alone 11:50 A 22-second fart which changes note 4 times and forces the dog to leave the room 11:51 Laugh yourself to sleep I don't care how many skydives you've got, until you stepped into complete darkness at 800' wearing 95 lbs of equipment and 42 lbs of parachute, son you are still a leg!

Surely someone knows where James is, come on people help me out. I don't care how many skydives you've got, until you stepped into complete darkness at 800' wearing 95 lbs of equipment and 42 lbs of parachute, son you are still a leg!

He was is Houston a year or so ago I believe, not sure where he is now. I don't care how many skydives you've got, until you stepped into complete darkness at 800' wearing 95 lbs of equipment and 42 lbs of parachute, son you are still a leg!

If anyone knows James's whereabouts please ask him to PM me. Thanks. I don't care how many skydives you've got, until you stepped into complete darkness at 800' wearing 95 lbs of equipment and 42 lbs of parachute, son you are still a leg!

If anyone knows his whereabouts please ask him to P.M. me. I don't care how many skydives you've got, until you stepped into complete darkness at 800' wearing 95 lbs of equipment and 42 lbs of parachute, son you are still a leg!

A man walks into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by. He >gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just >like Frank." > >Passenger: "Who?" > >Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. There's a guy who did everything right. Like my >coming along when you needed a cab. It would have happened like that to >Frank every single time." > >Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody." > >Cabbie: "Not Frank. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the >Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an >opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have >heard him play the piano." > >Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special" > >Cabbie: "There's more"......."He had a memory like a computer. Could >remember everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to >order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like >me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out." > >Passenger. "Wow, some bloke then" > >Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid >traffic jams, not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them." > >"Passenger. "Mmm, there's not many like him around." > >Cabbie: "And he knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good and >never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing >was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too." > >Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?" > >Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Frank." > >Passenger: "Then how do you know so much about him?" > >Cabbie: "I married his f*cking widow." I don't care how many skydives you've got, until you stepped into complete darkness at 800' wearing 95 lbs of equipment and 42 lbs of parachute, son you are still a leg!

Recently, I was diagnosed with: A.A.A.D.D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it manifests: I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing. As I start towards the garage, I notice mail on the verandah table that I brought up from the mail box earlier. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the rubbish bin under the table, and notice that the can is full. So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first. But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the rubbish anyway, I may as well pay the bills first. I take my chequebook off the table, and see that there is only one cheque left. My extra cheques are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke I'd been drinking. I'm going to look for my cheques, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. The Coke is getting warm, and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold. As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye -they need water. I put the Coke on the counter and discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers. I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table. I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I'll be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the sitting room where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers. I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill. Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do. At the end of the day: - the car isn't washed - the bills aren't paid - there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter - the flowers don't have enough water, - there is still only 1 cheque in my chequebook, - I can't find the remote, - I can't find my glasses, - and I don't remember what I did with the car keys. Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day, and I'm really tired. I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail. Now where was I…… that's right I'm off to skydive. I don't care how many skydives you've got, until you stepped into complete darkness at 800' wearing 95 lbs of equipment and 42 lbs of parachute, son you are still a leg!

YOU MIGHT BE A PARATROOPER IF: You think handing a bag of puke to the guy resonsible for getting you out of the aircraft safely is funny. Your kids make their friends do 10 pull-ups before they enter or exit the backyard. You can haggle a pound cake from a leg for some M'Ms and Crackers You go to your bathroom/latrine for a "Class 1 download" You have a certificate of your kids birth and it states they have completed one successful static line jump. You know how much room there is left in a C-130...room for one more jumper. You do a clear to the rear out your back door to check for any obstructions You claim tips at the strip bar on your income taxes. Prior to your kids entering the bathtub you give them STAND BY. You ever jumped hung over. You have sent a private to get the keys to area J. You have a "Swing Landing Aparatus" in your backyard. Your kid has ever told you to hurry up, because "you're moving like pond water!" The rest are in the Flash Traffic. Hat tip - All American! You have walked through an airport with a duffle bag on your back and a backpack on your chest. You have ever jettisoned your ruck and still beat it to the ground. All of your civilian shirts have Airborne or Special Ops logos on them. You rate a potential girlfriend as a "good jump" or a "no-jump". You know what a woobie is, and you'll fight for one! Your little boy can say "Airborne", "Heavy Drop", and "Hooah" all before the age of two!!! You issue a proper 5 point contingency plan to your family prior to entering the mall, and hold brief-backs. You slap your thigh two times and use an open hand to point things out to others, such as: "It's over there, by the - SLAP, SLAP - water cooler." You have sent a private to ask the 1SG when the next flame thrower range is. You have ever had a conversation entirely of 'Hooahs' While you deliver the mail, you're judging the gusts of wind as "do-able", or race-tracks. You avoid going home the same way you went to work. You've woken your son up with a chemlight on more than one occasion. You wrap 100mph tape on your wedding ring to make fit better. You have ever sung the Jeopardy theme song (twice) between reference points to make sure you're on target. You know the world is 75% water, and the rest is drop zone. Your living room curtains came from the Rigger shed. When your dog digs in the yard, he uses bones for sector stakes. You spend your last five dollars on dip instead of gas because you figure you can always ruck it to work!! You say "Get your brain housing unit out of your forth point of contact" You answer True/False questionaires with "Clear!" and "Not Clear!" You named your dog sarge or St. Michael. You have a reserve pull ring hanging from your rearview mirror. You have ever thrown up intentionally to make room for more beer. Someone has bent over in front of you and you have the urge slap their butt and say "all ok" Your favorite boots are slung over a powerline. You have a tattoo that says "Better to Burn in Than to Fade away" When the trooper that pulls you over for drunk driving turns his back on you, you disarm him...just to teach him to be more careful. You know a stand up landing IS possible with a T10. You know what 4 in the hand and 2 below means You know how to make a poncho parachute. You see your wife in a sexy silk nighty, you instinctually try to check canopy and gain canopy control. Your kid gets ready for school and it's time to put on his backpack, you tell him to "RIG UP" and then you JMPI him. Your children can identify more AF cargo aircraft in the air than cars or trucks on the road. You've ever taken a "whore bath" and liked it. You know how high a HUMVEE bounces. You have ever sat on the shuttle bus at the airport with a backpack on. You had all 12 of the MRE menus memorized. You know why the 34ft tower is 34ft. You wake up your toddler from her nap and tell her to quit shamming. You've cussed someone out at 800' AGL..ie,"slip away SOB!!" Your kids point to anyone who is in uniform without wings and say "Look Daddy it's a Leg!" You walk into a building you take a couple of steps inside before you take off your beret to let everyone know who you are. Your kids open their lunch at school...and see Chicken ala King. You've shared a dixie cup with 60 other guys!! You do the Airborne Shuffle while closing your shower curtain. Your 12 year old is doing push-ups cause his shotgun isn't clean enough. You have never landed in an airplane. You can honestly say, "I came from up there to kick ass down here..." A friend is following you in his car and you designate in route rally points. You have ever sent a Cherry to supply for Chemlite Batteries. You have ever run for the latrine with a jumper standing by. You remember when the Army had things called "Zero Week" and "Blood Wings". Your totally unimpressed by the 2500 sky dive jumps some guy at work has. You know what a HMMWV/Jeep looks like after it has burned in. Your squad has assigned seats in the front row of Rick's! You have a duty roster posted in the hallway of your house. If you have a natural aversion to wearing bright, non-tactical colors. Your in-flight meal is a snicker bar and beef jerky. Instead of a couch, you have fold-up C-130 cargo seats on your wall. You either shake your head in disgust or giggle when you see legs wearing a beret. You try to think of ways to hook up a single point release to your flak vest. You call your burps Infantry mating calls. I don't care how many skydives you've got, until you stepped into complete darkness at 800' wearing 95 lbs of equipment and 42 lbs of parachute, son you are still a leg!

Take 2 salt tablets and drive on. I don't care how many skydives you've got, until you stepped into complete darkness at 800' wearing 95 lbs of equipment and 42 lbs of parachute, son you are still a leg!

Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so St. Peter had to tell the first one, "Heaven's getting pretty close to full today, and I've been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths. So what's your story?" The first man replies: "Well, for a while I've suspected my wife has been cheating on me, so today I came home early to try to catch her red-handed. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell something was wrong, but all my searching around didn't reveal where this other guy could have been hiding. Finally, I went out to the balcony, and sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors above ground! By now I was really mad, so I started beating on him and kicking him, but wouldn't you know it, he wouldn't fall off. So finally I went back into my apartment and got a hammer and starting hammering on his fingers. Of course, he couldn't stand that for long, so he let go and fell-but even after 25 stories, he fell into the bushes, stunned but okay. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge, and threw it over the edge where it landed on him, killing him instantly. But all the stress and anger got to me, and I had a heart attack and died there on the balcony." "That sounds like a pretty bad day to me," said Peter, and let the man in. The second man comes up and Peter explains to him about heaven being full, and again asks for his story. "It's been a very strange day. You see, I live on the 26th floor of my apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out on my balcony. Well, this morning I must have slipped or something, because I fell over the edge. But I got lucky, and caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldn't hang on for very long, when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony. I thought for sure I was saved, when he started beating on me and kicking me. I held on the best I could until he ran into the apartment and grabbed a hammer and started pounding on my hands. Finally I just let go, but again I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, stunned but all right. Just when I was thinking I was going to be okay, this refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me instantly, and now I'm here." Once again, Peter had to concede that that sounded like a pretty horrible death. The third man came to the front of the line, and again the whole process was repeated. Peter explained that heaven was full and asked for his story. "Picture this," says the third man, "I'm hiding naked inside a refrigerator..." I don't care how many skydives you've got, until you stepped into complete darkness at 800' wearing 95 lbs of equipment and 42 lbs of parachute, son you are still a leg!

At another forum I frequent I am able to view the first few words of a topic by moving my cursor to the subject line. Without clicking I am able to view the start of the thread for a few seconds in "pop up" form. This is convinient as it allows you to get the gyst of a thread without opening it. Is it possible to do the same on Dropzone .com forums? I don't care how many skydives you've got, until you stepped into complete darkness at 800' wearing 95 lbs of equipment and 42 lbs of parachute, son you are still a leg!

I don't care how many skydives you've got. Until you have stepped into complete darkness at 800' wearing 95 lbs of equipment and 42 lbs of parachute, son you are still a leg. I don't care how many skydives you've got, until you stepped into complete darkness at 800' wearing 95 lbs of equipment and 42 lbs of parachute, son you are still a leg!

I have got a lot of time in Chinooks, used to crew them in Vietnam. Have made a lot of jumps from Chinooks, all in Germany when on the 7th Army Parachute Team. I remember us doing a demo one time and popping smoke on the ramp, the smoke came inside the aircraft terrifying the pilots and putting them in a kind of pink IFR condition. They could never understand us skydivers! Circa 1975 a German Chinook went in in Germany with a load of skydivers aboard, killing all. I don't care how many skydives you've got, until you stepped into complete darkness at 800' wearing 95 lbs of equipment and 42 lbs of parachute, son you are still a leg!