Muffie

I like the concept of having discussed these things up front, but the problem with setting them in stone is that people change over time. For example, one of my friends had no interest in kids when she got married. Flash forward a few years and her sister had a kid and suddenly my friend really wanted one. Another buddy of mine got divorced because his wife didn't want kids and then a couple years later she had a kid with someone else. People change. And what about illness? I mentioned it in another thread, but I've known more than one couple that had to put sex on hold due to health issues with one or the other partner. Do you throw that contract in someone's face and say "you agreed to three times a week and I don't care that you're in the ICU right now, it's in the contract"? Not if you love them you don't, IMO. I (not having been married and not being a relationship person) think the key is finding someone you can work through things with over time. And I think central to that is having a core set of values in common. You don't know what life will throw your way, but you can be pretty damn sure it isn't going to be what you expected.

Not if your tandem wasn't part of your AFF. I think there's one guy on here who did a tandem and then didn't do AFF for about ten years. It was about nine months between my commercial tandem jump and when I started AFF. My AFF started with a tandem jump and due to weather it was about six to eight weeks before I was able to do the next level jump which was non-tandem.

I failed my first AFF, too. It was a tandem training jump. I did my practice touches and then started admiring the view and lost altitude awareness (you fall fast those first few jumps!). My AFFI knocked me upside the head, I thought "how did I get to 6,000 feet already," and while I was doing that, he pulled. So, I repeated it the next day and knocked it out of the park. On my next AFF jump (non-tandem), I kept reaching for the hackey and not finding it and my AFFI had to pull for me. Learn from it. For me, my lessons were about altitude awareness and not shifting my body when I reach for the hackey. I had been doing some yoga before I started jumping and the whole way up for my first few jumps I kept doing that deep centered breathing every time I started to freak out. I think it really helped. Although it took until about jump 12 until I was somewhat relaxed (evidenced by the fact that I was playing music in my head on the way up which I do all the time, but it turns out not when I'm stressed about skydiving). Good luck on your next jump!

+1. My mom had a similar surgery about four years ago. The pillow helped a lot. I think most hospitals have volunteers that come around and give them to you within a few days of surgery, but if not, get one.

One of my best friends in high school was just drop dead gorgeous. We'd go clubbing and she couldn't walk a foot without some guy reaching out to try to get her attention. Another guy stopped us in the mall once to run a line about putting her in music videos and one guy once described her to my boyfriend as a "walking wet dream." She was also one of the most down to earth, kind, intelligent, heads up, centered people I've known. She was fortunate to just be naturally attractive - no hours in front of the mirror trying to look like anyone else or following trends. She did put in effort with makeup and clothes, just not a ton of it. No rape issues (at least last time I checked). No entitlement. Just an amazing person who last time I checked had her own opthamology practice and was the mother of two beautiful children. So, I think she's a perfect example that your idea is not some universal constant. Perhaps your definition of beauty happens to encompass a biased sample? Do you find that most of the women you date have hair that exact right shade of blonde? Or are they all almost white-blonde? That's just one little example of a red flag to me. It's one thing when a woman likes to change up her look and goes from red to black to blue to blonde to whatever. It's a whole different story when she feels compelled to dye her hair a color that everyone else uses and defines as the "appropriate" color. I don't want to touch off any sort of rape debate, but this just seems like such a sweeping statement that I had to at least highlight it and say you may be working with a biased sample. What drew you to these women? Did they need a rescuer or a strong man to protect them? If so, why? As at least one poster above has said "beauty" and "messed up" are all in the eye of the beholder. It's quite possible that the friend I described above wouldn't even catch your eye. I don't know what you go for, but the friend I described is definitely not proto-typical American blonde.

Since no one has answered you yet, I'll take a shot. And hopefully someone else will come along and chime in with more experience. So, when you say pop ups, I assume you mean the ability to slow your fall rate by changing your body position to grab more air. In the tunnel this would be the ability to move up? All people learn at different rates, so this is just my experience. I had 28 jumps when I went to the tunnel. A couple of those were coaching jumps working on levels. I was able to increase my fall rate fine in the air, but I hadn't mastered slowing it yet. My first few tunnel sessions (2.5 minutes each) were just about correcting a few bad habits in general freefall (tucking my knees a bit which made me slide back - the tunnel is unforgiving of those habits). We worked on up/down on my 3rd session then turned to center point turns and sliding side to side. We brought up/down back in combination with other skills on my 11th, 12th, 13th, 16th, 17th, 18th, 19th, and 22nd sessions (and more after that, but I stopped looking it up at that point). I'd say it took until the 22nd session for up/down to start to be stable and more under my control. I now have a little over two and a half hours in the tunnel and feel comfortable moving up and down and stopping myself where I want to. Early on, I would move back and forth as I went up or down or I would bounce when I came down or not be able to go up as smoothly as I wanted. If all you want to work on is up/down it shouldn't take you 22 sessions. We started to work on backflying at 14 sessions, so not all of my sessions at that point were even belly flying. Best thing to do is find a coach, tell them what you want to do, and then get in there and try it. If you can, aim for 10-15 minutes total time per visit.

Someone else please jump in and correct me (low jump numbers here), but my understanding from my AFFI was that if you pull straight down on a pillow handle you are not going to be able to pull the handle. Period. So, if you're low and you decide to skip the peel step, you're screwed. I have not had to go to reserve yet, but that's how it was explained to me. It may be possible it would pull if you just pull down if the elastic is more worn, etc, but I wouldn't want to test it at that moment. So, peel up and then pull out on any pillow handle. Again, anyone feel free to jump in if I got that wrong.

I think how well you know someone and what you've been discussing matters, too. I had a buddy who's a pilot take me up flying. It wasn't a date, but if it had been it would've been fine because we'd known each other a while and I knew he regularly went flying and he just invited me to tag along. It's the guy you've just met that lays it on too thick that's the problem. I once had some guy I'd met once and never even gone out with offering to buy me jewelry for a first date instead of flowers. I was already hesitant about going out with him, but that cinched it for me. No way was I going out with him. I guess the equivalent for a guy would be a girl you hook up with one night who shows up the next day with a shirt and cologne she just bought for you. Happened to one of my buddies and kind of freaked him out.

He brought it up. Basically, the conversation went something like "I don't want to kiss you yet, because I'm really into you and I think it will get really serious really fast and I don't want to have this other casual stuff that I've had going on mess that up. So, I'm going to be seeing these two girls next week and will make sure that's over with." Might've been some weird ass line of his, but if so it's the most bizarre one I've ever run across. Neither. I'd rather be alone and enjoying my life than dealing with either of those choices. And, believe it or not, there are good-looking, interesting men out there who aren't looking to play the field and actually enjoy spending time with just one woman. And if I can't find a man like that at any point in time, I'm happy to be alone until I do. Look, to each his own. Let players date players. If that's their thing then more power to them. It's just not mine.

Sorry. I didn't realize it was the same person. No worries. Rose colored glasses sometimes. In furtherance of the discussion - I have a buddy who got divorced about five years ago who also has issues about the amount he spends on dating women and getting nothing tangible in return. Not sure he has a set limit, but I know it can suck sometimes to be paying out money you may not have (esp. after a divorce) and having nothing come of it. He tends to get a little blinded by how attractive a woman is and fails to note any other positive or negative qualities. So, in that instance sometimes it is best to have a line you draw because attractive women who have learned to and like to use men can be very, very damaging to a guy's wallet and ego.

The one I was referring to is a high-end chain restaurant that probably runs $150+ for a couple if you get any sort of alcohol. The type of place that doesn't have prices on the menu and brings out visual representations of all of the food on offer. I've been to locations in Denver, Miami, DC, and New York. (Lots of business travel). Yours sounds like a hell of a lot more fun. I have a few friends who are members of one of the NOLA Mardi Gras Krewes. Serious good times!

See my post directly above. He said he was tying up loose ends with a few other girls. I gave him some time to do so. He didn't. I ended it.

Be sure to get video.

[replyThe more women you date at a time, the more attracted each will become on you because they can sense that they are not the only one and feel a challenge, to the point of fighting over you.Quote This can backfire on you, though. Personally, if I get a vibe that some guy is playing the field and I'm just one of many that he has in rotation, I'm gone. The guy I mentioned above was seeing a few girls when I met him (hence his no kissing thing). He told me about it and told me he was going to wrap things up and focus on me. I gave him a few weeks to work it out and when he didn't I dropped him. I deserve better.

I would've probably done the same. From my experience, if a guy is a spender (someone who likes to buy really expensive meals or give lots of gifts, etc.) he's going to be all weird about it if you ask him not to. So, you can either go along with it or walk away. Airdvr - in response to your question to Nightingale. I dated a guy like that for about a month who didn't even try to kiss me but probably took me out to nice restaurants about three times a week, bought me clothes, wanted to buy me a GPS for my car, etc. We had many discussions about his attitudes around all this. His view was he had the money and liked to spend it. It always made me feel weird (esp. the non-meal purchases), but every time I tried to pick-up a meal here or there or refused to let him buy me something it made things feel even more weird. So, I went back to avoiding those types even though I really liked him otherwise.

Really? You get pissed at women on first or second dates? I am one of the most particular people I know when it comes to dating, but I cannot recall a single guy I've been on a first or second date with that pissed me off (and I am very capable of being pissed off). It's a first date. I'm just not that invested in the guy to have him upset me that much. The things that would piss me off a month into a relationship just make me laugh on a first date. I think the closest I ever came was a date that ran a red light after I told him it was red about three times. But I basically thought "idiot" and didn't go out with him again. I was with you for the first part - "the biggest criterion is being able to spend long times together." I'd just add, "and enjoy it."

Davjohns I'm liking you more and more the way you respond to these things. In answer to the question by the OP: Keep in mind that I play these things conservatively, but as a woman, the more a man tries to spend on me early on the less likely he is to get it anytime soon. So, pool, some beers, and trashy food at a diner at 2 am and everything else is clicking there's definitely a good night kiss in the picture. Show up at the door with a dozen roses and take me to Morton's and I'll spend the night wondering who you think you asked out and why you're trying so hard. Not that I don't like Morton's, just that no one should be trying that hard on a first date and I don't like it when I feel like some guy is trying to "buy me". Admittedly, I'm weird and not normal.

Good point. Although when I finished AFF I hadn't done tracking yet (I took a little extra time to get turns right), so didn't know how to even start with it. We did a little of that on some of my coaching jumps, so now that is another option.

Your current profile says you have 28 jumps. For the life of me, I cannot imagine anyone with less than 50 or 100 jumps finding any kind of parachute jump to be boring. But maybe I'm just a sensitive guy. I clarified my point later. I found the freefall portion boring because I didn't know how to do much so falling stable and on heading was interesting for about 20 seconds of the 40 I had in freefall. Now that I've had some tunnel time to learn more skills I expect that I'll have more I can work on when I jump again in a couple of weeks (like belly to back transitions). Without someone else in freefall with you it's hard to judge how well you're doing at something like slowing your fall rate, moving forward or backward, etc. I had plenty to work on learning a new exit and learning my canopy, just not the same level of learning as jumping with an instructor. So, after about three solos I was ready to have someone else up there with me again. To each their own. We all experience life differently.

Well, it made me laugh (mostly b/c of the petejones references and the 80s music thing and the bit at the end). And trust me, do what I do for a living and there are a hell of a lot worse ways to lose five minutes of your life that you will never get back.

Mark's got a point. After the first job out of college, all of my other jobs came from somehow getting around the HR process initially. Try setting up informational interviews if you can (got a job offer that way once) or letting all of your friends that are in your field know that you're looking (did an internal transfer that way once). Or find a company you really want to work for and someone who looks like they do what you want to do and just reach out to them directly. That's how I got a job a few years ago. That company never posted job openings.

Really? Damn that sucks. Yeah. Just the freefall part, really. I like to be doing SOMETHING and after AFF where you have so much to do it was a huge shift to just fall stable. And I really didn't know how to do much. Now I've done about two hours in the tunnel so next time I jump I should have more things to try (once I get the rundown on what it's safe to try, that is).

QuoteI have a mantra I repeat every time I track: TRACK MOTHER F**KER TRACK, TRACK MOTHER F**KER TRACK!!!!!Quote Catchy! I like it!

I'm a very new jumper so factor that in to my advice. I found my first few solo jumps very boring. I worked on maintaining a heading, practicing turns, tracking (no more than 3 seconds at a time). So after that I did some coaching jumps where we worked on levels (speeding up or slowing down) and moving back and forth. Without someone in the air I'd think that would be hard to judge. Maybe try going unstable with some backflips and then fixing it? You could also focus on your canopy skills. Get permission to pull a little higher and work on really learning your canopy. Someone recently asked what they should work on in terms of canopy skills so there's already a thread discussing what you could do. Are you in Italy or were you just there for a few days (your other post)? Can you afford to travel to Empuriabrava or somewhere like that?