Ricx

I'm listening to 'Queens of the Stone Age' and the New 'Jurassic 5' Album.. J5 are playing in Glasgow on March the 5th, might go an see them. hope I'm still in Scotand. Just out of curiosity, has anyone been to see the JackAss tour??

Folks, I lost it..... I remember reading a poem on this site and I've lost my copy of it. If any of yous could help that would be great, I've searched though the posts and can't find it. Any help would be great! The poem is about someone who is outside and is thinking of the night when the clouds part and the moon shines on them. then dissappears again behind a cloud, I think the last verse reminises about the relationship between the person and the moon. anyway... for those reading this I'm included a funny one to say thanks for your time.. A Morning Poem I woke early one morning, The earth lay cool and still, When suddenly a tiny bird, Perched on my window sill, He sang a song so lovely, So carefree and so gay, That slowly all my troubles, Began to slip away, He sang of far off places, Of laughter and of fun, It seemed his very trilling, Brought up the morning sun. I stirred beneath the covers, Crept slowly out of bed, Then gently shut the window, And crushed his fucking head, I'm not a morning person.

ARRRGGHHH!!! There are too many things like this going on that can unbalance the whole universe and start something we can never ever stop. Like the End! Where do I make my stance against all this?

Though I've owned quite a few motors, I've only written off the one! Come round a corner a wee bitty to fast and try'd to play around with it at the same time, I'd never slid a car before until that moment, then woosh! the car well over slid, so I compensated ( a little too much and quickly!!) then shot off the road, hit a dyke, went over the fence behind the wall and rolled the car down the field a few times. Came out of it with no marks, scrapes, brusies or anything. I was wearing a seat belt at the time as I always do and I'm glad for it. The accident did make me want to become a stunt man at the time, as it was really buzzing and I was unhurt. Would have done it again if I could rig the car with a roll cage and stuff! sadly it was scrapped! though it was a nessesity! I must admit, I found it hard to get a saftey team together and find anyone willing to give me their car, even if it did get filmed and sold to dodgy soaps to use for their action sequences! He He!

You can't really get away with calling this one a game, cause there is not forfits or anything but it's really good for getting really really pissed. Me and four of my friends played it last summer in the afternoon before a dinner party...boy that was a bad idea!!!! It's called Centurian and it's too the death!! All you need is a timer( count down form 1 minute!) a large supply of bear....and you do get through it!! and a shot glass or something slighly larger, depending on how quickly you want to get wreaked, for each player. Idea is each polayer takes a shot of beer every minute when the timer goes off! Simple as that! As the time goes on that 1 minute starts to feel like 30 seconds and so on.. Additions to the game include, find the peg, thumbs, and extreme bollocks! Find the peg = someone puts a peg on someone and then if the player doesn't find the peg before they pegger calls out "Find the peg! Find the peg" they have to take another drink! Thumbs = usual thumbs game! Extreme Bollocks = Every minute of the centurian game was alternated between each player ( in a circle!) where that had to carry on a very stange and imaginative story for the minute, at the end of the mintues the player normally twists the story that much that the next player ( normally trying to think ahead) is left with a mad situation for the story to comtinue on! The fun stops when everyone is laughing that much they can't get back onto the picnic bench, the timer is not set, drinks are not refilled, participants are spuing, the beer runs out, other sober friend arrive and start taking the piss, or like us, all of the above and then we go out for a meal in a resteraunt for a 21st burthday.. Nuf said, sore stomach mussles from laughing so much the next day!!

I got that link sent to me this morning but the email read like so, Sounds too good to be true..... I'd imagine this will go down well a free beer promo!! There's an ad for Tescos in the People today and they are having a Beer promotion. If you fill-in the online form below they'll send you 2 complimentary (FREE) cases of imported 'Liberto Caricacell' Italian beer - which is meant to taste something like Kronenburg! First I heard of it but it is beer! Apparently Tescos.com distribute this beer in the UK, and they have a promotion going until the middle of December. http://digilander.libero.it/caricacell/

Manage to get 3 Static line jumps

Hey Dumpster, Just wondering what effects dairy product have on your sinuses, never heard that one before. I drink loads of Milk, probably a couple of pints a day! Much better than fizzy drinks during lunchtime and with my dinner. And I too get sore ears when I jump. When I first started I used to get it alot but the more I jump the better it gets, until the point where I hardly even noticed it. But if I don't jump for a while then they get sore again. Ric

Post the full error here and I could maybe have a look, Also , if you get to debug the error, have a look at the code behind it and past it here!

I don't think he is.....I think it's to help with masterbation!!!

Can anyone enlighten number 76 The Unknown Soldier If this is what I think it is then shouldn't it be number 1?

Yea! Robbie Williams?? Boy Gorge?? There cant be more than a few pop stars in a true 100 Greatest Brit comp! People like Churchhill, Wallace and Madge, should be nearer the top! My vote is for Robert Owen - Pionered a world-famous model community under the enlightened regime of social and educational activites. This guy invented holiday pay and a good education for all his workers! Paving the way, The year! 1800-1825!

Alexander Graham Bell - Invented the telephone! Lived Near Edinburgh! John Logie Baird - Invented the Telly!! Kelso, Scottish borders! John Paul Jones, a Scotsman, founded the US Navy. Gale Porter - TV preseter, my sis went to her weddding! unlucky for her! Leslie Neilson! ............only kidding!!! and finally, my fav..... BLOBBY....Kept the spirits of the Brits alive during any Saturday night in!

Yip! Someone reminded me on Saturday night in the pub when we were all pissed and then I forgot ( must have been that drinkin game we were playing!) Then...Sunday, went to get a bus at 1 o'clock out of Edinburgh to see my old man. Took me 15 minutes to get to the stop, waited around in the freezing cold for 25 minutes before giving up! then walked back to my flat!....Only to realise that the clock had gone back and if I ran, I could catch the same bus I was after in the first place! The bus never turned up and I walked home again! Not to worry though, fellow flat mates were making a King Roast for residents and friends. Tis was a good laugh and I never had to watch crapy Sunday evening telly with the ye old one! Nice one! I've to do the dished tonight!

Ta bud!

Ahhhh!!!!!!!!! Forms to fill in!! Don't they know all my info already?

Clicky Click Cick!!! http://www.nytimes.com/2002/10/25/travel/escapes/25BASE.html?8hpib

Too bad!! Don't you mean, Just as well!!

Kahlua - Milk - Vodka and ice! A White Russian - Possibly the best drink in the world! tastes like milkshakes! get u really pissed! Hmmm......

The United Kingdom? That's England+Scotland+Wales+N-Ireland, right? Is that the same as Great Britain? Yea, they are both the same. -What do you call the main island(E+S+W) ? Mainland Britain. -Is there a name for the whole bunch(E+S+W+N-Ireland+Ireland)? Ireland is not part of the UK, so without Ireland and with Northern Ireland (part of UK), it's called Great Britain. -Who can I call british without insulting them? Anyone with a brittish passport! doh! The English, the Scottish and the Welsh and folk from Northern Ireland. Nowadays it doens't really matter, we're multi race says the PM. Bunch of cross breeds, like its been for thousands of years. phew!

Once of my first games was in southern France on this campsite! Can't remember the name of the place but all I remeber was it was really hot, so I just put an this light overall thingy they passed me, over my shorts and tee-shirt and went out! Boy did I regret that! Jes, Yea! You can get paint granades and smoke bombs in most places. I prefer the smoke bombs myself! First smoke granade situation : last 3 shooters holding this wee makeshift village, my team surrounding them. The game was ours, but we were having trouble advancing as they were poping us off one by one as we came out from the forrest. We had them surrounded and I had a granade to use so I was getting all excited. I manovered over behind this tree hoping to throw this thing into the larger building in an effort to evacuate it and pick them off. But it never quite went to planned. I ended up throwing the smoke bomb over the roof of the building and within seconds this thing blitzed the back of the buildings making it impossible for my advancing friends from the rear to see what the hell was going on! Upon the enemy realizing my mistake they charged, killing us quickly and then picked off the rest of my team who couldn't see a bloody thing! Moral of the story: Give them to someone with a good aim, and not that I should be reminding you lot but, take into account the wind direction! I didn't! Makes the playing field even more manic than normal. So keep you cool! and have fun!

Paintballing great fun! If you've never played before, nothing will make any sence until you get hit!!!...then every commando film you've ever watched will rattle thourgh your brain until you knees give way and you hit the deck. Then you start screaming random sargent commands at your team mates like... FLANK TO THE LEFT!.. or you go into silent mode and communicate using sign lanuage. I had this game once where I got shot in the head ( Which doesn't count normally by the way) but the initial pain was too much and I fell to the ground in shock! My buddy at the time ran over to me, lay me on his lap screaming MEDIC!!! MEDIC!!! while twenty or so plaintballs all flew past out heads and our side advanced! What a great laugh that day was! certainly get the blood flowing when you've been shot and you are still in the game! P.S. Got the sharp shooter back later on by a square shot right on the top of her head!... I know, I know, not supposed to do that but I couldn't resist! Then afterwards she came over told me someone had shot her and then let me feel her bump! hey hey!! I gave her plenty of sympathy and let her feel my bump also!

Mum????

I've seen this one before as well and it always cracks me up too. I got sent this by an older work colleage who lives deep in the boaders countryside in Scotland. They used to sign this in the pub when they got pissed on 30 pints of the heavey and 80, Funny as phuct and a great laugh! 4 or five of the local's all rosy cheeks, round bellies and hairy beards, chuckling away signing funny tunes and telling really bad jokes! I know the tune to this, but it's kind da hard to put accross using a keyboard! he goes.. ta tum te tum...ta tum tem tum...ta ...eh!.... never mind! Why Paddy's Not At Work Dear Sir I write this note to inform you of my plight And at the time of writing I am not a pretty sight My body is all black and blue, my face a deathly gray I write this note to tell why Paddy's not at work today While working on the fourteenth floor, some bricks I had to clear And to throw them down from off the top seemed quite a good idea But the gaffer wasn't very pleased, he was an awful sod He said I had to cart them down the ladder in me hod Well clearing all those bricks by hand, it seemed so very slow So I hoisted up a barrel and secured the rope below But in my haste to do the job, I was too blind to see That a barrel full of building bricks is heavier than me So when I had untied the rope, the barrel fell like lead And clinging tightly to the rope I started up instead I took off like a rocket and to my dismay I found That half way up I met the bloody barrel coming down Well the barrel broke my shoulder as on to the ground it sped And when I reached the top I banged the pulley with me head I held on tight, though numb with shock from this almighty blow And the barrel spilled out half its load fourteen floors below Now when those building bricks fell from the barrel to the floor I then outweighed the barrel so I started down once more I held on tightly to the rope as I flew to the ground And I landed on those building bricks that were scattered all around Now as I lay there on the deck I thought I'd passed the worst But when the barrel reached the top, that's when the bottom burst A shower of bricks came down on me, I knew I had no hope In all of this confusion, I let go the bloody rope The barrel being heavier, it started down once more And landed right on top of me as I lay on the floor It broke three ribs and my left arm, and I can only say That I hope you'll understand why Paddy's not at work today

Skydive StAndrews. Scotland! Cool views of a great coast! C185 :-( Only been open a couple of years and it's really starting to take off!