Farflung

I’m watching this video about Cooper suspect Christiansen in short little segments because of my painfully short attention span. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v66OsQR0Zow&feature=related At (8:35 – 8:45) the investigators begin to compare the composite sketch from the FBI to a photo of Kenny. As the overlay is slid across the photograph they can’t contain their oohs and ahhs as it becomes apparent that it is a spooky match. That was very exciting and made me happy. Then one minute later (9:35 – 9:50) long after I had forgotten about the comparison of the composite, they review eye witness descriptions of DB Cooper. Well we all know that eye witness descriptions are dubious, at best. Yes, we all know this. Stupid eye witness descriptions are always making things more difficult because they are wrong so frequently. That was a bummer and made me feel un-groovy. Any ideas on where the composite sketch came from? Doesn’t matter, I’m thinking about something different now anyway.

Take a look at this commercial and the poorly veiled manipulation in the message. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0tUdsvfa10 That’s right, you saw it, a Great Western Bank commercial with John Wayne. Did you notice the fire with a pan acting as a ‘bringing home the bacon’ with the knapsack in the background serving as a ‘packing it in’ metaphor? Did they think the audience would be so dazzled by the American icon of cool, self reliant, you can have the ‘surface of the sun scorching hot’ girl because I shot Liberty Valance and not see that bit of propaganda? It only gets worse. Try and endure this equally tainted piece of shameless overtone. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-XDaQUd6Qv4 Did we really need the introduction of a man riding too quickly into town with the announcement of ‘He’s coming’? Marathon John lasts a ‘good long time’ versus Quick Carl, who suffers from an affliction some of us may choose to call efficiency. Well the same marketing group must have been in charge of that poorly coded message also. I was able to instantly spot the double entendre represented by Marathon John. We all recognize ‘John’ (hellooooooo) as Patrick Wayne, aka son of the Duke. So Marathon John is serving as a double entendre to Great Western Bank. Nice try Madison Avenue. Good thing all the Cooper researchers can spot this brand of shenanigans, tomfoolery and douchebaggery before it grows out of control (brought to you by: post 21870).

It’s about time such a program was offered to an expectant audience that has long considered this ‘latest’ suspect as viable. Sure there is the natural bias to go running after what on the surface may appear as the legit winner of the race, but we so often fail to see the forest through the trees. Now it will finally be told and we can all decide for ourselves what is fact or fantasy. Is it just a coincidence that they chose the ‘marathon’ format to broadcast the latest suspect? A marathon represents the long haul and legitimacy. Marathon was unique in that it was the ONLY candy bar that came with a calibrated, ruler printed on the package so you would know exactly just how long it was. Either way, I’m keeping an open mind and collecting everything available about this case. I just hope I don’t miss anything.

I remember Baker, California; just not very well. It was one of those impossibly hot days in the Mojave Desert when I dropped in on the home of the ‘World’s Tallest Thermometer’. It must have been 109. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VL5d0leKh0o It did not take long to realize that a once in a lifetime event was about to occur with an available room at the likely named ‘Bun Boy Motel’ and a commanding view of the thermometer. Could this be the mythic Shangri-La? One could only arrive at that conclusion after learning that adjacent to the Bun Boy and Tallest Thermometer is a restaurant called the ‘Mad Greek’. Well color me there. Once inside I’m offered a shot of Ouzo and warm welcome. Boy, that heat and booze hit me hard and fast. Not sure what to order, I asked for their recommendation. ‘PITA, you need the PITA Special, my friend’, they answered in near perfect unison. So I sat down to enjoy the commanding view of the Bun Boy Motel sign from a booth. There were constant offers of more Ouzo which I could not turn down and show disrespect for their culture. Strange consideration since California is part of the US, but that’s my justification and I’m sticking to it. I have some foggy recall of some dancing girls performing before stumbling out of the restaurant. One of the employees was nice enough to help me to the motel where things got even cloudier. Oh well, I’ve always relied upon the kindness of strangers and this would prove to be no exception to that credo. I woke on the floor with a killer head ache and feeling confused and slightly peckish. Can you believe that someone left a beautifully plated flan for me?

I noticed in the communication transcripts (page 77, 0545) there is a cross section of confusion in the details. “Northwest three zero five uh out of one zero thousand climbing slowly to one one thousand is one mile south Fort Jones.” This communication is attributed to SEA ARTCC. Strange in context and content. This reads like a position report from Flight 305. ID (NWA 305) Alt (departed 10 for 11) location (1 mile south). But the position is not available at that fidelity to the cockpit. Fort Jones is a navigation aid just like Battle Ground. This was established during the ‘VOR Wars’ of 1881 when Fort Jones was surrendered to the TACAN’s after their victory at Battle Ground. It was a costly, albeit bloodless conflict. Sometime later, a monument was constructed on a mountaintop several miles east of Etna, California at an elevation of 4900 feet. This monument is the VOR/DME, low class (of course), on 109.60 of your Nav/Comm dial. Above said monument is a volume of airspace which is a sort of mini Bermuda Triangle where compass readings spin wildly and other indicators which were consistent and easy to interpret become warped and frightening. This area is officially known as ‘The Cone of Ambiguity.’ If Flight 305 is climbing to 11,000 feet which is 6,100 feet (1 nautical mile) above Fort Jones, how could they tell if the aircraft was “one mile south”? What was the crew trying to cover up and who were they doing it for? I really don’t care about any of that, so long as I get the credit for bringing it up first. I guess if there is anything I’m guilty of, it is caring too much. Oh, and being noble, yeah I’m pretty much that a lot, too.

It has been just over a year since Northwest has been gone…. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Q_CKzWqIHQ&feature=related They just couldn’t compete in the sort of sophisticated market that has demonstrated time and time again, that the consumer has contempt for choice and genuine competition. It’s hard to imagine that there will be a generation of travelers that have never heard of Northwest Orient Airlines or their ‘Boarding Oysters’. Sad really.

Some may read about Flight 305 being 23 DME south of Portland and ponder what that is all about. But most have normal, fulfilling lives and don’t. So this is for the former. DME is yet another measurement system which sorta uses Nautical Miles (6076 feet, remember?), sophisticated (code for I have no idea how this works) instruments and lashings of Pixie dust to make the whole thing function. There is a black box in the cockpit with the usual ONOFF, analog user interface input device and perhaps one or two other detents which I frankly have no clue if they do anything other than make me look cool, using a preflight checklist. Once it is energized this instrument will display a numerical value in DME to a navigation station like Battle Ground (formerly known as Portland). That appears easy enough to understand, so why not just say the aircraft is 23 miles from Battle Ground? You are about to enter the DME Zone. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NzlG28B-R8Y That’s right you’ve crossed into a dimension of altitude. Imagine if you will, you are seated in First Class, being cool and hunky, when the pilot announces that you can unfasten your seat belt now that the plane is level at 48,000 feet for cruise. How high are you? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WH6UnvSlahc That would be the lowest reading the DME could render at the point you are directly overhead. Don’t worry there is a solution which you may be painfully aware of. If you associate high school with endless wedgies or near constant wearing of a 32 inch ‘Butt Helmet’, then you need not read further. Otherwise you may need to learn how to figure the hypotenuse of a right triangle with “Pythagorean’s Flying Theorem” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=49c-_YOkmMU&feature=related This is where you can calculate how much LESS the distance is the aircraft’s position in DME is compared to the ground track of the same value (23 Nautical Miles). The graphic (DME) will answer all those questions while validating the value of actually paying attention in math class versus what you may have done instead.

Since this article is relatively fresh, I thought a little review was in order. This is not about the source of info, the suspect or the pseudo-investigator/author. It is about simple, (pour pee out of your boots with instructions on the heel) basic, rudimentary, room temp IQ validation of data. That is all. http://www.examiner.com/coast-to-coast-radio-in-national/galen-cook-reveals-evidence-of-db-cooper-identity Let the micro analysis of postmarks, paper sources and drop locations begin. Hey, someone who happens to be a suspect lives in Oakdale, California where one of the letters was mailed. The data begins to flood with claims of relatives, friends and other suspects with ties to Oak-f’ing-dale, California, which is probable since this is a well know tourist spot with a population of around 20,000 people today. Uh huh. Where exactly is the ‘Cowboy Capital of the World’ and why is everyone else so very aware of it? It’s off to the ‘Farf-mobile’ to find some answers. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QdWswvLPdE0 That was quick. But then I’m well known for that attribute. Look at the starting point for this little exercise (Ref: How Friggin Long Is It). Yes, it is yet another example of some graduate from the ‘Helen Keller School of Map Reading’, interpreting the data with some unknown scale (probably metric system). How many have seen this data and accepted that it is 25 miles from Reno to Oakdale and went on to dissect other parts of the story? If a history book included an error akin to Pearl Harbor being bombed by the Nazis, I would in all likelihood discredit the entire publication. A little background on Reno first: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4T7sU3A2m18 Listen to the sage advice at (0:34 – 0:49), “Always be a good boy, don’t ever play with guns”. I realize everyone knows the words to this ballad, but I made this profound re-discovery. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ov4epAJRPMw (0:45 – 0:51) What was that first city? Yeah, coincidence my firm, round, beefcake-y, endlessly stared at supple ass. What are the odds? Play this song for a soft bit of gentle, comforting background ambiance (I said play it) while solving for the following: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJMVj04lfyo You are departing Portland, Oregon for Reno, Nevada to shoot a man, just to watch him die. How many miles have you gone when the day is done?

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. That is profound to be sure. But which miles are they referencing, statute at 5280 feet or nautical with 6076 feet? That is a delta of 796 feet with a single step (pace) recognized as 2.5 feet or 318.4 steps difference; per mile. In fact, if this journey is in nautical miles instead of statute that means I will be walking an additional 150 statute miles. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQ53qKJaPGQ&feature=related That would be six times the distance Edwin was claiming about walking for a woman that “could make a man go stone wild” (0:51 – 0:54). ‘Ah ah, ah ahhhhh, ah ahhhhh ahhhh ahhhh, I’m so tired’, indeed Edwin. Have we always been this sloppy when it comes to distance measurements? (Ref: By That Much) Could it really be that difficult to obtain or verify distance information in 2011? It shouldn’t. How far is it from Paradise Point State Park and Tena Bar (aka: Fazio Bros Sand) by car, on foot, as the 727 flies or whatever? Outside the Cooper forum or the privacy of our own home (aka Airstream trailer) where are measurements so easily manipulated AND accepted as gospel? How much is in your paycheck this week? Bet you know to the penny and if it is off (only lower) by as much, you will be in the accountant’s office with a full head of self righteous indignation boiling on your ‘how dare they’ front burner. Your rage carries over to the local bar where patrons are regaled with increasing detail with every version of how you told the boss you don’t need this job and how he could take a nice long lick, off your fat ass. Upon which he begged you to stay. Of course this is all just a farfetched example of behaviors which no one has ever experienced. So how long is it and what is the best unit of measure? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3kySh2zsdvg That’s right; it depends upon the mode of travel selected. I used Google maps and the Google map distance calculator to obtain these values which are in statute miles (just like the ones in your car, assuming your car is cool). Using the public roads is 24 miles between points. I know what my first choice would be for a logical form of travel – Jet Pack. At a mere 11 miles you have reduced the distance by more than half. Or perhaps you would rather try something less exotic and more realistic than a Jet Pack and split the difference at 15.46 miles in a Midget submarine. (Ref: O Now I Get It) Either way, once you have been enlightened on this subject you will no doubt experience an ‘O’ face moment with the mystery solved about length. I know I did.

This should complement the post about mapmakers and their skill sets. It is about the direction water flows and with the astonishing regularity it finds its own level. Really. Water will find and follow the path of least resistance up to and including being forced through a pump and sprayed in the air as some sort of enchanting display along Las Vegas Blvd, under the guise of being classy. There is nothing more awe inspiring than watching dolphins leap over natural gas flames in a man-made grotto before strolling into a glass pyramid for a plate of Yellowfin. We truly must be the masters of our universe. So what up? Why do we insist upon getting on our intellectual knees and screwing the pooch over the simple stuff? I’ll begin with this colossal myth that the fairer gender have created and conspired about in group meetings in their bathrooms where a toilet can actually ‘back up’. As if there is some force upon receipt of a lily fresh, flush of water which randomly revolts and actually pushes debris into the bowl which was NOT there before. So as a man, I accept the description of the gravity defying waters and go to the garage for the plunger, a beer and a tearless cry. I silently carry out the task at hand never giving quarter to the consideration that the ‘little lady’ actually thinks I believed her tale of runaway effluents. I blame myself for the continuation of this particular element of hydrological myth. Every creek, river and wash has a direction known as downstream. The waters drip, trickle and collect into larger and larger amorphous forms and continue their journey until they are released back into the ocean to spawn and lay eggs during storms. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LCOoATNBb7s A simple rule when reading maps is to follow the little blue lines to the bigger ones until they reach a body of water or in some rare cases a caustic dry wash. The attached map (Ref: Whats the Point) illustrates such a condition with Paradise Point State Park, complete with Airstream trailer serving as centroid. The little blue line on the lower, right of the chart has green chevrons, one way signs, soldiers and dogs pointing in the direction of natural flow. This river meets another past I-5 which has a European one way sign and Native American helping in showing the direction of travel. This river joins the Big Kahuna, El Numero Uno, the Head Honcho, Mr Big, aka The Columbia which enjoys the addition of Epic Sunglasses Guy and Ronald McDonald pointing the way somewhere beyond the sea. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZoCrD88RP4&feature=related Some forces of nature simply can’t be altered no matter how much we may wish for them. I thought fixing the toilet came with an “It’s OK You Left the Seat Up” pass…. Wrong again. Cooper’s actions are more emblematic of Homer to be sure.

The penalty for getting things wrong was slightly more punitive in the past. This of course has fostered a byzantine love affair with certifications, credentials, rubber stamps, sealing wax along with general butt covering and double speaks as a language. Where did this all go so very wrong? Way back when, some group of aimless affluent decided to check out the rest of the planet to see if there was anything worthwhile (code for hot women) going after. There was an aristocratic subculture of explorers (code for horndogs) who were willing to brave the wilds and return to Queen and country with as of yet, unknown treasure for all to enjoy (code for just the Queen). But how would they get there? In a word, blown. Yes, these Argonauts would travel the vast expanses of water with nothing but basic physics, meteorology and mythology to guide them (just like today). They would be supplied with the finest of maps which were created by the best cartographers who had never been farther than four or five miles from whence they departed their mother’s womb. It all makes total sense. Oddly these mapmakers were held responsible for any errors in their works. As in they were ‘drawn and quartered’ if a ship ran aground or was lost due to bad data. Sure, I like the idea of personal responsibility manifesting in a red hot poker up the jacksie as much as the next guy. So what is one to do? You Bullshit of course, it is not like there is any way to validate what is being claimed. So go with what you know and fill in the blanks with steaming heaps of unverifiable lore. Besides everyone likes a little mystery and whimsy, so give the people what they want. Make a map with a compass rose to lend an air of scientific legitimacy. Place the ‘Royal’ stamp on it to indicate someone with an awesomely, big ass title has funded this project. The prevailing winds are good along with the basic course of rivers and the direction of flow. Hey, this is going to be great. Now for all the unknowns and open areas. Put a big hairy creature in the woods and make him stink. Ewwwwww, no self respecting conquistador would dare set foot in such a riparian zone. Next are all those uncharted waters to the west. Fawk, how can anyone devise a way around that? The solution is as elegant as it is universal – MONSTERS. Depict the most repugnant, revolting and angst inducing creature you can imagine. Gaping jaws filled with horrendous rows of predatory teeth will do nothing but amplify the effect the leathery, scaly and mottled skin has already produced. In the likely event that some ship should run afoul, you can simply point to the abomination on the map and say ‘they were warned to stay away’.

Vicki, I have used the Unsolved Mysteries segment as your combination screen test/credentials and they appear to be perfect. The footage of you in Hawaii adds to the Five-O and Jack Lord mystique as well. Here is your scene: Cooper (Salma) will come in out of the pelting rain as the camera pans across Cooper’s soaked shirt which does little to conceal the chill Cooper has acquired. You give a somewhat disinterested glance but can’t help but notice Cooper is all alone. The camera re-establishes just how cold Cooper feels, yet the shot remains below the shoulder line as not to reveal who Cooper is while the sense of mystery grows. Now Cooper begins to walk towards you. The background is oddly void of other people and activities as each step goes by. You are tending to other tasks when Cooper finally arrives at the Northwest Orient Airlines ticket Jacuzzi where you are working that day. Can I help you? You breathlessly ask, trying to suppress your surprise. “Seattle, One Way.” Cooper responds with little inflection. “That comes to $18.52.” You respond equally breathlessly. Cooper gently gives you a 20 dollar bill and your hands touch briefly. The camera zooms into your eyes which instantly dilate while the sound of a thumping pulse fills your ears. You glance around and notice no one is near. You say to yourself “That touch was electric” and out loud to Cooper, ‘I’ll get your change”. Your hand deftly passes over the Oregon State Sales Tax Schedule and a perfectly manicured finger stops at $1.48. The camera returns to your eyes which are now focused and betray a sense of anxiety while you say to yourself, “One forty eight; that totals twenty dollars exactly!” You turn to Cooper and announce “With tax, the total is twenty dollars”. With the camera fixed on the anonymous and completely soaked shirt and thin black tie the customer is wearing, you ask one last question, “Name?” The faceless torso draws a heavy breath and heaves a pair of syllables which construct the name “Cooooo-per”. You write the name down and say “The plane is about thirty minutes late, you can wait here in the Jacuzzi with me, if you like”. Cooper reaches forward and you involuntarily shiver only to see Cooper continue to grasp the handle of a briefcase and vanish in a few steps. The camera, in a tight shot of your eyes begins to pull back. Something is running down your face (sweat, tears, condensation from the Jacuzzi?). Your gaze is fixed and emotionless like that of a war veteran, trauma survivor or long term employee in a corporate environment counting down the last 8345 bitter days of living death till you can collect a retirement check. The camera continues to retreat while the background begins to fill with the ephemeral noises of commerce while grey and black figures cross in front as if in some dire hurry. Back out of a pair of automatic doors to a flash of lightning and thunder clap which serves as segue to the next scene. I’m updating the poster now.

Should it not be leapt? (Ref: Correct Context)

Vicki pruriently observes: “Is that hard, erect, aft staircase, or the fact the money "blew its wad" symbolic for anything?” Already there is the ‘Freudian’ analysis which is a hallmark of a classic in the works. Exactly Vicki, is the erect staircase to ‘Cooper’ analogous to the sled, Rosebud in ‘Citizen Kane’? Is the wrath unleashed upon Flight 305 allegory akin to that ‘launched’ by Colonel Ripper in ‘Dr. Strangelove’; which ultimately serves as a harbinger noir of our collective destinies? Well, I don’t know any of that stuff. Who should play the Ticket Agent? I’ve been considering Mimi Rogers to attract the sophisticates or perhaps appealing to the younger demographic by using Christina Hendricks.

Joining the procession of bio-flicks like ‘Amelia’, ‘The Aviator’ and “Love Ranch’, I felt it was time for the real story about Flight 305 to be told. Historically recreating every event associated with the famed skyjacking. Not since the Ken Burns series, ‘The Civil War’ has a production been so diligent and intimate with a subject. Look for it to be released in early 2012.

Here is where my ‘Bag Size’ came from: http://foia.fbi.gov/cooper_d_b/cooper_d_b_part01.pdf Page 8, A bulletin from the FBI, right side of page. (Warning: Accessing the above link will activate cameras and microphones in your bathroom) This information was published in ‘Air Line Pilot’ magazine in Feb 1972. If you chatted with Himmelsbach before that time, then you may have been the source of those bag dimensions.

Here is a series of photographs with a 727 (guess who) in various stages of use and disuse. ‘Portland 1968’ features the Cooper plane in gleaming splendor three years before the hijacking and three years after manufacture. Anachronistically a C-131 taxis in the background with a 707’s aft hatch open as a display of the only rear exit on that plane. ‘Piedmont N383N’ is the same aircraft with a new registration, owner and paint job. The aft stairs are deployed as if to mock the fuel truck which is vapor locked. ‘Key Air N29KA’ has the earmarks of a Faded Rose. The Matterhorn White paint has that chalky patina that says deferred maintenance. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1nYJcxhDtT0 ‘End of the Line’ with various parts removed and given the final dignity of a blind fold before being thrown into the smelter to be reborn as a screen door, lawn chair or some other ignoble item.

Between being cool and hunky, I manage to find some time to be analytical. This is not one of those times, however I felt this posting may be of deep value. I notice there is a pattern (oft repeated phrases for one) of information which has been deemed ‘about Cooper’ or not, by some ‘Star Chamber’ certification body. So I got into my Time Machine (read drank a six pack) and went on a journey back to 1971. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UN2VNFpiGWo (Warning: White people are dancing) Flying as a form of travel had not evolved into the combination of Attica prison riot and trailer park experiences that it has today. People tended to dress a little better and behave like they still had an opposable thumb. What was the process that delivered Cooper to the last row of seats in the aircraft? Where is his boarding pass, was one issued? It seems like there should have been another person for Cooper to interact with aside from the agent selling the ticket. Was there a smoking section in 1971? The FAA didn’t mandate such a section till 1973 but that would not prevent an airline from creating one. Northwest Orient was the first airline to ban smoking on their aircraft. Were they just as proactive in creating a smoking section? Cooper’s bag is described as 4x12x14 inches in size. What sort of bag is that? Cooper is also described as wearing brown shoes. Brown shoes with a black suit??? (Ref: 0:28 -0:34 in video) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_6yWi6YBYY (Warning: White people are smoking and drinking) Much of the lexicon is polluted with phrases which have been long forgotten and molested with the generous input of those un-sourced claims on the internet. The phrase “That is an ‘E’ ticket ride” is from the mid 15th century where such tickets were given out closest to the gallows (source: somewhere on the internets). I actually did a search on the ‘Deadliest ride in Disneyland’ and found several sources with databases listing dates and the name of the ride. I thought they were mistaken (see –Tickets). Now let’s get back to proving that Cooper was Shirley MacLaine, who would have worn brown shoes to throw the police off her trail.

According to “D. B. Cooper: The Real McCoy” (Rhodes/Calame), on page 3: “On 24 November 1971, a lone male Caucasian, using the name of Dan (misidentified by the press as D. B.) Cooper, hijacked Northwest Orient Airlines Flight 305 between Portland and Seattle and parachuted from the rear stairs that cold, rainy Thanksgiving Eve with $200,000 of the airline’s money.” The FBI says: http://foia.fbi.gov/foiaindex/dbcooper.htm “On November 24, 1971, an unknown subject….” The site ‘Timeanddate’, displays 24 November 1971 as a Wednesday, the day BEFORE Thanksgiving. http://www.timeanddate.com/calendar/?year=1971&country=1 Adventure Books of Seattle points out in a review: “McCoy was not in Washington on Thanksgiving, 1971…the date of the original Cooper hijacking.” Ref: (Attachment- Adventure Books Information) Those ‘authors’ Rhodes and Calame made a disingenuous choice by using the FBI for information and look like a pair of boobs under the withering critique of Adventure Books. How much more of a pounding can Rhodes and Calame take???

If the book “D.B. Cooper: The Real McCoy” is searched on Amazon, there is a single 2 star review that is quite interesting. (See attachment: Adventure Books Review) It looks like someone at Adventure Books of Seattle or perhaps a person posing as a person at the same, has taken it upon themselves to write a bad review about The Real McCoy. RobertMBlevins states he has not read any DB Cooper books so it could not be him as he is so honest. Someone needs to answer for this outrage and be soundly thrashed for such a blatant impropriety. An act which is best described as disingenuous.

I decided to review the official, certified files and see if there was anything being missed about the Cooper case. Well it did not take long until the entire mystery began to unfold to reveal what has been hiding in plain sight for all these years. Study page 3 of this long secret document maintained by the FBI. Study it. http://foia.fbi.gov/cooper_d_b/cooper_d_b_part01.pdf This link takes you to the FBI’s web site even though the extension ends in P-D-F, but it is going to the government site where cameras and microphones will be activated in your bathrooms by your IP address. It is for this very reason that I keep a 5 gallon bucket and family pack of Charmin in my closet. Now watch the following in its entirety and be forewarned about what will be some shocking and profound implications. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AepyGm9Me6w Yes, it IS that obvious. Review the attached (Initial Composite) and name one person who is a better match? There is none. Why so many aerial shots about a ‘cop show in Hawaii’? What was up with the fish eye photography of a jet airliner? Why the fictional name Hawaii Five O? There is no reason for the gratuitous airborne imagery or the jets unless there was a coded message about an aircraft. The name Hawaii contains 3 syllables…. Hmmmm… 3 Five O or is it; 3-O-5? The sky bound filming and the name representing a series of numbers coming to Flight Three Oh Five, is simply too fitting to be a coincidence. Now this takes me back to Jack Lord who is a dead ringer for Cooper. Initial composites are always more reliable than later versions (well known fact). Since this was during the 70’s and electric typewriters were still exotic pieces of equipment the following is the most plausible and logical situation. Some low level bureaucrat was trying to hammer out the APB for Cooper and mistyped Wanted: Lord, Jack as ‘Wanted: nor, Jack’ which evolved into Norjack. The confusion began when some fat fingered clerk locked a pair of keys together on his Remington DeLuxe and didn’t bother to review the copy before publication. It happens more than you may think. Was there anything else? I’ve found there to be exactly two people from the Hawaii Five-O opening that are still surviving (see: Surviving Witnesses). I have spent hours and hours reviewing these images late into the night. Sure, it is a sacrifice but that comes with the territory. Here is what I found about these two innocent, exotic, tropical, scorching hot vixens of America’s latest state: The first and last image is of, Elizabeth Louise Malamalamaokalani White Logue. With a name like that she would not be easy to find, yet I located a recent picture. Images 2 to 10 belong to Helen Kuoha-Torco, who still resides in Hawaii and has a recent photo (see: Holy Hala Haka Lah) and the mystery should all but completely solved. That’s right, you got it, two women who are both in their 70’s look like that? How could this possibly occur? It is easy when one is under the constant, skilled and very private care of a plastic surgeon who was funded via proceeds that Jack Lord acquired from Northwest Orient Airlines. This isn’t bread crumbs being left behind, it is a trail of bakeries pointing a dozen baguettes at Steve McGarrett. I guess he thought playing a cop would make the crime all the easier, just another one of his slips which I caught. Now I have to get an interview (aka interrogation) with Helen and Elizabeth. I’m supremely adept at extracting information and many other things (wink, wink, nudge) from women who ultimately found themselves in rather delicate situations afterward (see: Farflungs Resume). I don’t know how this will ultimately turn out, but I’m confident that this is something that has never been published about Cooper before. Whadaya think about that Sluggo Monster? Time for a “Jack Lord” composite reference on your web site?

RobertMBlevins disingenuously offered: “This link isn't a promo, just proof. We have no openings, even though it says we does.” So as an example of honesty, a site link which falsely advertises availability was used??? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BRbwnJM-8Q8&feature=related Astonishing, simply astonishing.

Nice to know that Bill was able to ‘verify’ that no one from the cockpit went to the back of the plane. This is in alignment with long established information. Now there is that pesky matter of how a null set managed to materialize into an extremely detailed account of Captain Scott meeting and interacting with DB Cooper. Where did this come from? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J834KH43YgE&feature=related After the boundless talk about investigating skills and interviewing prowess with digital (not analog) recorders and certifications of the same; where did this fail? How did this happen? Who is responsible for missing the verification, cross check and allowing publication? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nNjPgE1muTM&feature=related I guess this will go to the same place that the Dan Cooper comic book being seen on Shemya in the 50’s and simply be ignored or suddenly portrayed as not that significant in the first place. So getting it completely wrong is not worth any consideration. A strange research technique to be sure, but it never seems to impeach a source so it must be a worthy behavior to repeatedly employ. At least the price of admission is right for the “Lamest Show on Earth”. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_B0CyOAO8y0&feature=related

Another documented source has confirmed the chute Cooper used was silk. In plain English at (4:45) in the video and I quote “disconnected the harness and the container from it, buried the silk part”. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=02WxlT8q8HA PLFs? I was sure the instructors were shouting PFL. I simply could have misheard them since I was still gathering my senses after landing with a 10 mph wind and using the balls of my feet, then the side of my face to absorb the landing shock. Maybe they were in fact yelling, “That was another - Poor Lucking Fanding”.

Scott never saw Cooper??? That is in conflict with page 27 of this document: http://www.adventurebooksofseattle.com/mediaonly/Blastpublicpreviewweb.pdf “Scott left the cockpit himself and headed to the rear of the plane to speak with Cooper. Several passengers turned their heads as he walked past. Scott pretended he was going to speak to a friend, so as not to alarm everyone. Taking a seat next to Cooper, he said quietly, “What’s this about a bomb?” Cooper let Scott glance into the briefcase for a split second. Scott got enough of a look to doubt the bomb was real, but he’d already been instructed to cooperate with the hijacker.”