Farflung

377 suggested: “You’d do a lot better at a bowling alley on women’s league night than you ever would at a convent….” I had never considered attending a woman’s bowling tourney. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1nxzzBXVJzs Time to plan a trip to Fabulous Lancaster, Ohio, home of: http://www.tikilanes.com/general_information.htm That’s right, you’re not dreaming and did you see what credit cards they accept (last question)? Did you? This place must be a cool magnet and I’m the refrigerator door.

I’ve realized that the ‘Cooper Cottage Industry’ is missing some components which have perhaps prevented this subject from entering the mainstream of acceptance. DB Cooper needs an anthem that is easily and quickly associated with the subject. I can’t think of a better tune that is instantly recognized after the first half dozen notes and one of the few to feature a jamming xylophone for that added Tiki ambiance. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbvHY3pgKp4&feature=related Makes you want to put on a Hawaiian shirt and slip on some sensible shoes doesn’t it? That should work for any radio programs or as a ‘bumper’ for transitions and what not. This of course leaves the logo which should embrace all that DB Cooper has come to represent. I have modestly named this the ‘Essence of Cooper’ and feel it truly captures the spirit. Will the world ever know the true name of Cooper? This question will be featured with this closing song… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j0EFlqOPTTc&feature=related This can be mixed with the usual audio flotsam that media productions rely upon to keep their message cohesive and coherent. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4r41vPTF8k A person of superior intelligence can only violently agree that this is in fact, the perfect platform upon which to continue to build the ‘Cooper Legend’ which is already richly steeped in quality and accuracy.

Everyone has their favorite suspect and I’ve got mine. Who happens to be the most logical thus far…. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bvkhkhUb4aE And 'she' meets ALL the criteria. All of it.

There may have not been enough consideration given to the modes of escape which Cooper may have employed. Flares, hiding in the tail cone and skydiving are but three of the possibilities this sage thread has offered. Could there be more? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SnhgpVb-u5s But if that system was used an inexperienced person could suffer a hard landing and what are the ramifications from that situation and how would Cooper have reacted? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l8CDERzun4k There still remains the endless mystery of the weather that evening and what Bernie and Kenny were hoping for that several witnesses have been unable to testify about that night. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hGLZqDXau98 Too hard for me to extract any intelligence. Perhaps if someone would try the technique of endlessly repeating themselves? No, that would never happen here.

I would gladly lay claim to the ‘Dorkzone’ video as I think it is a masterpiece melding of music and the numerous tangents this thread has taken. Except, I don’t have the creative panache for such a production and therefore can’t claim authorship. I did however give a standing ovation from the front row for the effort. I don’t have the resources to make such a creation as my time is divided between giving reading lessons at convents and doing volunteer work at a Doc Martens’ store.

I believe Nancy (Nan) was married to Maxwell who was rumored to have some jump experience. At least his motto was “Good to the Last Drop” and that bit of circumstantial evidence is more than enough to qualify as a suspect on this thread. Not sure if he drank bourbon, more of a Black Russian or Mudslide kind of guy.

377 observes and reports: “Tell me you’ve never had a Lesbian or Nun fantasy Farflung.” Once again, caught within minutes of committing the crime. I don’t want this thread to be simply about Lesbians and Nuns. OK, that was a lie. Having them woven throughout the dialog certainly would do no damage to the context and would improve credibility in an exponential fashion. As far as I know, this discussion is the only one that gets ‘Stunt Comments’ about how long it is. How does one complain about the length of a thread by adding to the length as a sort of protest? Who know and who cares? You’re completely correct about me on both counts though.

I’m still intrigued about Vicki’s old man. The ONLY person suggested who has been missing since the crime, had a reason to be missing and had the Feds looking for him. How do these guys get past all these agencies yet I get nailed (rightfully so) for my brief flirtations with the crime of speeding with an amazing capture rate? I think Arthur Bremer is among the alumni of failed assassins walking the streets today. That must put a burr in Sirhan’s saddle now that he is the longest serving of the Glimmer Team. I think John Hinkley even gets weekend passes. What a loser, ‘doing it’ for the love of Jodie Foster. He should have aimed higher for someone like Kelly KcGillis or Meredith Baxter-Birney if you want to have a chance. After all, I’d feel pretty silly sitting in a concrete box for thirty years vying for the attentions of a woman that was not interested in men. Some people.

Squeaky is in the same genus as the JFK, RFK and MLK family; she simply failed at every attempt. Good thing she was released post Gerald Ford’s death, after all a red hooded, redwood tree saving person that went by the name of…. wait for it….. little bit longer…. that’s right ….. Red, can see if she can succeed this time. After all, the broken clock is right twice a day. But that was waaaaaayyy back in 1975 when she pulled a Colt 45 on President Ford while he was on his way to a meeting with Governor Jerry Brown. It’s not like history is going to repeat just because Squeaky is roaming free…. again and Jerry Brown is Governor…. again and…. ummmm…. Holy crap.

I spent the weekend researching Cooper by doing my own private investigation which was not intended for public dissemination of known facts by people who have said this many times before and after the time I spent as a DB researcher. I went into the airport restroom, not to use it but just to relax and collect my thoughts (as you do). I randomly selected a stall and there were hundreds and hundreds of little bi-fold, toilet tissues scattered on the floor. I’ve NEVER seen this before and knew it was some sort of coded message warning me that I’m too close to the truth which is all I’ve ever cared about in the first place since I’m so noble and hunky. Why would a person litter the floor with 287 little toilet papers if not as some desperate act of communication? What were they trying to tell me? How did they know I would choose this stall? That’s too much to just explain away as coincidence and many people will agree with me on that so the information has been finely filtered. As I was sitting there minding my own business and seeking the truth, another person enters an adjacent stall but showed no signs of using the convenience. I think that sicko was in there just to watch or shadow me so I said “I know exactly what you’re doing in there and I’m notifying security.” It’s always best to reveal your intentions before acting on them as a way to intimidate mean, dishonest people. I fill out a report with airport security which is supposed to be confidential and not to be released to the general public as it is my right to privacy, besides I only wanted to let that person know that two could play that sort of game. But the security people whose job it is to take reports on such incidents and keep them private and not make them public and known to average people who do not have a right to know what I reported took too long investigating and he got away. I don’t know if I’ll live long enough to see an end to this and have taken measures to ensure that my efforts will be recognized by ALL media outlets in broadcast and printed in black and white on pieces of paper or glossy covered magazines featured at grocery check-outs between the Tic-Tacs and cellophane wrapped silk roses. If my story is NOT released to the public for all the known facts to be finally known by everyone looking for the truth about the known and unknown facts then the cover up will continue and I can simply do no more. I’m just too tired of being virtuous and honest and doing what others would not do or try to do as I have done many times in the past with multiple witnesses who will verify my activities from 3 June 1978 and 24 October 2006 when this all started to get weird. You can ask anyone who has seen what I have done that has asked to be kept out of this and I respect their wishes by keeping their names out of the public and keep it private and that is what I will keep doing since I’m so honorable and trustworthy with information which is private and not meant for anyone to know about which I don’t appreciate being spread after I tell them in a private phone conversation which several people heard at the time. The airport security asked me about all the paper on the floor in the stall I occupied. Well I wasn’t about to do their job for them and just give away the fact that those 287 personal hygiene expendables on the floor were a virtual confession to the Cooper hijacking. Not on your life, I’ve worked too hard and long seeking the truth to just ‘give it away’, so I told them to do their own investigation since that is what they get paid to do. I don’t have time to answer their questions AND complete an honest and open query into Flight 305. So they respond in typical Fascist, bully-boy fashion by issuing ME (remember I MADE THE COMPLAINT!) a citation for the destruction of public property. Just another example of how deep the roots are in the conspiracy to impede my research on of all things President’s Day. I honestly don’t know why I even try anymore.

Those people in Fort Wayne seem too testy about “Harry Baals” and should worry about things they can better grasp. Just south is Ball State University which the citizens of Fort Wayne could honor by naming the caddy-corner park “Ball State Square” (get it?) and with a pair of appropriately named locations make claim to give Fort Wayne the recognition they so richly deserve. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YUuyzQDmjY When given lemons make……

The clichés about the CIA, guns and what’s the other thing? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wK-b5PLhrEI Oh yeah…. peters. What’s up with that? Anyway, the Tommy gun was certainly synonymous with gangsters, G-Men and the violent public face America has presented to the world with great effect. I suppose it is better for the average citizen to be known for ample gun ownership versus women not shaving their armpits or the total lack of ice cubes which many European nations are known for. Except for San Marino, this may change once they get a woman to enter the country. Tommy Gunn, adult film star was not born till 1967 and did not begin his ‘career’ till 2004. Was there another porn star named Tommy Gunn? The British rock group ‘The Clash’ had a song called Tommy Gun in the late 70’s. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZkS2rRd3G8 But I think they are better known for the most misheard song in the history of music called ‘Rock the Casbah’. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0NWE3px40_g You can imagine my surprise to discover that Richard Lugar, Dick Armey and Dick Butkus were real names instead of clichés. Strange world.

Why are divorce lawyers so expensive? Because they are worth it. Why is shilling still practiced? Because it must work. Apparently the social stigma of having to stoop to such a level has done little to abate the activity. Of course it has within itself the seeds of its own destruction in that an organization would feel the need to ‘puff’ their product since nobody else will. What are some of the better known shill products and how have they fared? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gCMzjJjuxQI Yep, that’s the brand doctors enjoy so kick back and light em if ya got em. After all, it was a doctor and they are qualified to make such a judgment; always rely on other credentials to suppress your own suspicions. Besides did you see that scorching honey at the end? I may get to hang out with her some day if I use this product. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-c2NEFPqTwY Hmmmm…. Guess you can figure out how this turned out. When was the last time you had lobster? Stupid seafood commercials. The Dale was a car long forgotten which materialized from the Hollywood Hills in the 70’s. A three wheel marvel capable of an amazing 70 MPG and the company was headed by a woman… or was it a man? This is one of those situations where you are right on both counts. The 6’ 2”, president of the company with a husky voice named Elizabeth Carmichael was a transvestite/gendered con named Jerry Michael who had bilked investors out of millions while producing precisely one vehicle. Sure would be nice to see an honest car commercial. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xr4Gye05gKk&feature=related http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zqHZWdFVyyQ Doubt that will ever happen any more than a ‘less than 5 star’ shill review. I suppose these companies get the customers they deserve and the customers get the products they deserve.

I had some (read too many) similar experiences with vetting contractors, vendors and potential partners. They all do it. These ‘Bucket Shop Organizations’ constantly use stupendously lofty titles even in organizations with 3 or 4 personnel. You know, a CEO, President, Chairman and Director of All Things Interplanetary. They also mistakenly refer to their UPS Store mailbox number as a suite and constantly try to let you know how lucky you are to get them for a few moments. Posers. The weird part is that this continues after the advent of the internet search, so they must represent the bottom feeders who dine on other bottom feeders leftovers. If there was one, just one, red flag the owner of the company had them put on a ‘Toxic’ list and avoided or ignored. You may be surprised how many calls we would receive from these dorks wanting to ‘help us’ as soon as possible after playing the ‘I’m too busy for this’ card. Losers. I guess it is human nature to suffer from crippling insecurities which manifest in greater and greater, one-upmanship in a race to the pinnacle of the compost pile. I used to consider stupidity in a Darwinistic way and finally managed to spot the error in my philosophy. Stupid people don’t drive off cliffs or fall face first into inverted and running lawn mowers, as I had imagined they must. Nope, they actually manage to drive cars on roads, vote and find someone to exchange bodily fluids with and astonishingly replicate. They possess one attribute which I find common. They need copious amounts of pristine, oft repeated and extremely reliable information in order to proceed to make a horrid choice. Others (read non-stupid) need a tiny amount of data to avoid a horrid choice. When Madoff was ‘discovered’ (recall he walked in and confessed) there was a cry for laws and regulations to prevent this. When someone exposed Madoff earlier, the very group that was investing screamed jealousy, interloper and otherwise debased him. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YcmwwE7kcU Remember the DC-7 pilot who claimed to fly out of Dutch Harbor, AK (3900’ long) airport? This video is shot at Fox Field in Lancaster, CA which has a 7200’ runway. Did that plane even look like it could have dreamed of doing a midfield takeoff?

That program about the Cusack forgeries was chilling in that the person who was closest to the source is still conflicted and confused about what happened. It had my favorite earmark in the beginning….. Lex was a ‘nice’ guy. Attention Earth: All of the mean, ugly, troglodytes with venom dripping fangs have discovered the error in this presentation and all have abandoned such behavior except for Hollywood productions. You’re a smart and special person and should invest with me…. Bernie Madoff, $50 Billion (nice guy) You would be the perfect person to establish a utopia in a South American jungle… Jim Jones, 918 dead (nice guy) You are part of the Master Race… Adolf Hitler, 50 to 70 million dead (nice guy, at the time) Yeah, they all appear to have a nice message which must appeal to supremely intelligent people who really dig flattery. But it has been my personal experience that people are more than willing to dismiss the most abhorrent behaviors if the person is famous or wealthy, the same conduct in average social circles would be the focus of disdain and ridicule. Oh well. My analysis ended with “He flew F-16s in Viet Nam”. Sooooo he flew an aircraft that had not been produced before the end of the war. Gee, he must have put a great deal of effort into these forgeries and simply blew off a cover story that is factually plausible. Oakdale being 25 miles from Reno, VHF comms intercepted below line of sight, comic books being observed years before publication, aircraft being 15 miles off course all being dismissed as small errors, too secret to disclose a source or with a desire to ‘hear what they have to say’. This is the very recipe for their continued success; serial red flag suppression. I usually assume what is lying in the middle of the sidewalk is NOT a Baby Ruth bar and plan a course of action as soon as possible. Others need to get on their knees and give it a closer exam. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1PmMFaVzbzc&feature=related They even closed the program with the declaration that Lex Cusack HAS to be the most cunning of forgers (since John was too honest and smart to con) and no one has ever done it for such a length of time. Guess they aren’t aware of Mark Hoffman and his ‘White Salamander Letter’.

It is terribly difficult to actually nail down a source for any Cooper information. One can only ponder the origin of such a wellspring of information…… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qro7oBzUBos&feature=related But why do I read this thread along with so many others? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDKDBd22lNM&feature=related There is a common theme in the dialog, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXoNE14U_zM&feature=related What is the underlying subtext being exchanged? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9gLN3QoN-q8 I’m waiting to hear some more details about the woman who actually testified independently that Cooper was hucking flares out the tail of Flight 305 and she seen the whole thing. What was her name? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NBjVBbeqf7E Lucky I got a short attention sp

There is nothing and I mean nothing that defines America better than a Tiki Bar. OK, I’ll admit a slight passion for the establishments which once dotted our great nation free of the burden of context. That’s what made them so cool and memorable; I think I remember them anyway. We had such high hopes anticipating space travel, triangu-esque clocks and Googie buildings. Man the future was going to be great and the only thing that could make it better would be to combine the three aforementioned with the exotic Tiki experience. A virtual cornucopia of tastes could be satisfied. Display your panache with an order of aptly named cocktails like the Mai-Tai, Blue Hawaii and the perennial favorite Zombie. Won’t those beverages be the perfect complement to the fondue? Need some background music, but what? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AepyGm9Me6w That’s probably good for the grass, mini-skirted girls dancing in the bamboo bird cages but won’t coalesce with the Mermaids frolicking across the ‘Aqua Wall’ in the bar like the following. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6IUUWzI7vg Since it is difficult to decide, I want both and so does everyone else. Just offer an expansive menu which includes never questioned plates like chicken fingers, shrimp cocktails and oyster shooters. ‘Such a paradise has never existed’ a trio of European colleagues once opined. Always willing to don the yoke of cultural ambassador to the US, I was able to prove just how wrong three people could be in Great Falls, Montana. http://www.ohairemotorinn.com/index.phtml?p=contact_us You bet your bippy their faces were set at stunned when they entered the ‘Sip-N-Dip’ lounge of the O’Haire Motor Inn. Is it any wonder we have a problem with border security? Just take time to celebrate the fact that you can and should plan a trip to an Oasis where blandification has been abated in favor of something completely different. The only ‘upgrade’ one can imagine to this motif would include a DB Cooper booth with a parachute canopy acting as the awning rather than the traditional palm fronds lashed to a bamboo frame. Oh, and a beverage special of ‘All you can Drink’ bourbon and soda from 7:36 to 8:11. All this for $20, of course. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ekvBj_itSE&feature=related Good luck getin that one out of your head today.

I just don’t get it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5NVgQVEiZms Sometimes the technology that we embrace for convenience and comfort can turn on the very people trying to use manipulation veiled as a public service. At least with such readily available technology you can count on the fact that your best performance will be captured and broadcast to the planet and beyond. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8MsnT8gLVzM You gotta hand it to ‘Mini Bob Geldof’ for giving it his best, twice; then having a blonde woman offer aid and prolonged comforting. My kinda guy. Sometimes we just take ourselves a tad bit too seriously and typically enjoy the consequences of such machinations. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ZA1M3aAZek Where does on begin? The fact that there is not a singular form of the word ‘groupee’ because the root word is in fact group and requires a value greater than one, should serve as warning to your perceived coolness. If you were unsure if Capri pants were ever manufactured in denim, your concerns can be assuaged. Chivalry is dead. I would have had someone call 9-1-1 for medical assistance while getting on my knees and trying to relieve the tightness in my chest, from laughing too hard then patiently wait for the paramedics to give me oxygen. Sometimes dancing with yourself is a metaphor for…. Just dancing with yourself as the balance of society is admittedly slowly, but none the less in full retraction from your ‘headbanging’ demonstration. That device in your right hand is not an anti-gravity chalice, but good thing to act as if it holds such a value even if incapable of performing as anticipated. Top it all off with some hair whipping with a woman entering to engage in some sort of pseudo lesbian act and all will congeal in an ‘I was soooo cool again’ story at work. Who will ever know, right?

The air path Flight 305 took is called a VICTOR Airway. In order to make giving what would be long route explanations of taking off from Seattle then flying to an intersection defined by some magic formula then to Battle Ground VORTAC then to Eugene then……. All you had to say was “Cleared Seattle Six departure then Victor 23 to Red Bluff”. So for the first time in thread history I have combined the L-1 chart (IFR) with the Sectional Chart (VFR) of unknown origins with common depictions. I accept that the measurement system of near, huge, east, big, high and downriver will still be the greatly favored mode of nebulous measures. The attached charts illustrate several items which you may wish to dismiss or glean whatever miniscule intellectual value it may possess. There is the FAA approved (code for – you won’t die if you use this) route V-23, the same route drawn on the sectional chart, the radar track and the width of the airway (shoulder of the road).

All good points smokin99 and 377, but the paper was acknowledged as something that in fact could be shredded by man, where I forgot about beasts like dogs and cats near any rolled cellulose products. I think it is just their frustration manifesting over what they have to use for toilet paper. Shredded Wheat is a product and like Shredded Cheese not a process. Wheat is actually milled after being soaked then combed off the rolls into those inexplicable bails of stuff that must be good for you, as there is absolutely no pleasure derived from the consumption. I was a bit astonished at the direct proportionality the increased intake of the latter had upon the use of the former. I have asked about what sort of paper bag is 12” X 14” X 4”, the boarding pass and person making seat assignments and the fact that Cooper wore all black except for brown shoes. So what up?

RobertMBlevins coins: “I am not afraid to face you and shred your theory quicker than I shred cheese for a frickin’ Red Baron pizza.” I’m a little lost in the allegory here. Does this mean that you don’t take much time shredding cheese for a Red Baron pizza because they can be found in your grocery’s freezer section completely assembled? So since there is no need for cheese preparation then you would shred his theory in zero time perhaps? Additionally I have found shredding to be a verb associated with documents and papers where cheese is actually grated. Grating is one of many techniques of cutting cheese which will produce a product called ‘Shredded Cheese’. The only other thing that is shredded is a guitar riff. So maybe you could actually shred cheese if it was made into a guitar and you wanted to knock out some awesome Dick Dale tunes. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UmmbF1Zyvk The more I thought about it the more profounder it got.

What you wanting with the white man’s world? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ywJ1MD4-Cns&feature=related There are three primary motivators which have manifested in my life that I can only imagine must be unique since others appear incapable of breaking the code. So here it is: Money, Women and Adventure. Well surprise, surprise, surprise. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J6_1Pw1xm9U Knowing full well that on Shemya there is a ‘Beautiful Woman Behind Every Tree’, there can only be a few scenarios to explain a person choosing to work there (Ref: 4th paragraph). http://community-2.webtv.net/@HH!07!A3!9709C6A4049F/RC135/Adventure7/ This author went for the career challenge or adventure where the civies did it for the cash. I suppose there could have been some way to feed the carnal appetite, but how? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_AlcBG41uc&feature=related In any event, Shemya Island (aka The Rock, same as Alcatraz) managed to support one or two of the legs in my personal triad of life. Why people are so baffled at the reason someone would choose to work in such a location must have never been in a coal mine, near a Bessemer furnace or in an insurance seminar. If you work where there is a company store and that store offers and sells 30 year service, lapel pins, you work in my personal definition of the Seventh Level of Hell. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JBV9WkfZdvw&feature=related Well shoot, I love my job, when I retire I’ll return and do it for a leisure activity, who was I kidding?

I was sad to read about the death of a woman I thought would be perfect in ‘Cooper’, the movie as ‘Passenger #23’. The brightest of dark stars and leader of a trio of Go-Go dancers, who go on a murderous rampage across the desert to kidnap a bikini clad woman after killing her boyfriend for being too wussie. The queen of high kick boots and low cut shirts with a cigarillo clenched in her teeth while delivering judo chops with the prerequisite shouts of ‘HA!, HA!’ to a freshly severed spine; none other than Tura Satana. I feel it is only appropriate to rename the movie ‘Faster DB Cooper! Jump! Jump!’ Then go back to researching the best person to play ‘Passenger#23’. Such are the sacrifices one makes for an accurate historical recreation. Apparently Tura died of a heart attack in Johnny Cash’s favorite town of Reno, Nevada. I just hope I die like my grandfather, quietly in my sleep rather than shrieking and screaming in terror as the end approaches, like the passengers in his plane.

From the FBI site is an article from October of 1972 with some of the serial numbers listed. http://foia.fbi.gov/cooper_d_b/cooper_d_b_part02.pdf This section contains the complaint filed against the pair who was scamming that author about being DB Cooper by showing several twenty dollar bills with matching serial numbers (page 22, o/a 1 Feb 1972). Additionally, the fraudulent story claimed that Cooper was an employee of Northwest which the FBI investigated as part of obtaining evidence against these criminals. http://foia.fbi.gov/cooper_d_b/cooper_d_b_part03.pdf Without parsing everything to the sub-atomic level, it would appear that the serial numbers were available relatively early and the FBI did in fact investigate airline employees as potential suspects.

Thanks to my terribly tiny attention span I hardly noticed all the images of Kenny which were broadcast. From his time in the Army to Shemya to Washington were photos of this suspect to track his movements. I thought some images had distinct characteristics which looked like Kenny (see top three photos, Faces of Ken). Then my poor ability at pattern recognition kicked in with other images characterized as being of Kenny actually appeared to be a different man (see bottom three photos, Faces of Ken) to me anyway. Now I feel even more un-groovier, yet manage to maintain being cool and hunky; weird.