LuckyMcSwervy

That's like bringing sand to the beach. Always be kinder than you feel.

he said the same thing about you the saturday before.. why dont you guys just get a room!? Yeah, ummmm..... no. I got enough problems right now. Always be kinder than you feel.

I promised someone I would go to that boogie. Looks like the other fun kids are going, too! Always be kinder than you feel.

Yay for you, Tuner Salad! What happened to you Saturday? It was like POOF, you were gone... Always be kinder than you feel.

: 3 : No nookie. 3 jumps at Z-Hills. Beer owed for the 1st time I broke a fingernail. I totally biffed in. It was hilarious. Always be kinder than you feel.

Happy Birthday! I hope you have a great day! Coming down to Cross Keys for FreezeFest this weekend? Always be kinder than you feel.

I Agree. What about Skittles? I thought we had something special that one time we talked on the phone. Though I remember nearly none of our conversation because I was so drugged up. Yup, Tadpole, we were a match made in DZ.com Heaven. Always be kinder than you feel.

Thank you for pointing out the being vulnerable aspect. I don't remember if I thought of it that way. Always be kinder than you feel.

Happy Birthday!! I hope your day ROCKED! Always be kinder than you feel.

That is FUCKING awesome!!!!!!!!!!! Always be kinder than you feel.

This is going to sound totally wacky but it really helped me.... When I was married, the house I lived in had this big floor to ceiling windows across the front of the house. The sun would shine in and warm up the carpet in those places like a MFer. I noticed my kitties would lay there in the sun all afternoon. And they would turn over on their backs, show their bellies and purrrrrrrrrr. So, I think, "Why can't I do that??". I put a blanket on the ground, grabbed a pillow and spread out on the floor in front of the windows in the glorious sunshine! I would lay there and nap or read for a couple of hours whenever I could. And the kitties would cuddle up with me. It was bliss. Feeling the sunshine on my face and the heat of the sun all over my body was absolutely magical and therapeutic. I swear that's what kicked the winter blues for me. My xH thought I was nuts. I told him I was pretending I was laying on a deserted beach and sunbathing nude. That statement got me our first trip to Jamaica that very winter. Anyway, find a way to get some sunshine on your face. And SMILE when it hits you. And think good thoughts! Works wonders!! Oh yeah, I was thinking about looking into one of those "natural light " lamps for my desk at work. I work in a gray cube farm. Ugh. Always be kinder than you feel.

WD-40 - got it. Check. Duct tape - got it. Check. Oh, the things that kitty has seen! Always be kinder than you feel.

Propel Grape. Always be kinder than you feel.

+ 1 Always be kinder than you feel.

That is by far the scariest thing I have ever seen in writing. When Bolas comes to Cross Keys next weekend for FreezeFest we'll get some pics of him in his thong, outside in the cold. Then we can post some "shrinkage" pics! Just kidding. Always be kinder than you feel.

I'm worried about my kitty Sophia Lucia keeping her purity when I have a house full of drunken skydivers next week. Should I fashion a kitty chastity belt for her? Always be kinder than you feel.

Thanks. And on the TADPOLE! Speaking of tadpoles...... . Always be kinder than you feel.

Thanks! Always be kinder than you feel.

My brother found out and told me. They all work together. xH denied it like a motherfucker until I had solid evidence. Nope. Not anymore. I'm too old and too selfish at this point in my life. I don't have the energy or the support to raise a child alone. Or even with someone. No way. That ship has sailed..... I think trust is earned. But I also have a hard time forgetting even when I forgive, which is kinda rare for me since I carry grudges like a motherfucker. Bolas, you should be a shrink. You always give good advice. I like the SWAG thing! Always be kinder than you feel.

Poor Tadpole. I hope he's feeling better. I told him I was going to send a hooker from Craig's List to his house. Always be kinder than you feel.

What a day. I've read all of your responses and I can see everyone's opinion as very important in one way or another in reference to this situation. And the PMs I’ve received have been so nice and encouraging. Thanks. I think this is something that's going to take a long time to play out. Part of me wants to tell him what's in my heart, part of me wants to run the other way to keep my heart safe again, and then my head is telling me to relax, listen, take notes, be patient and see what, if anything, develops out of this new communication. I just can't seem to wrap logic around anything right now. He was never a womanizer. He had an affair with a female cop that he works with. They were never together after the affair came to light. She's moved on, married to the guy she was engaged to when my xH and her were fucking around, 2 kids and appears to be happy, from what’s I’ve heard. I don't really know what his intentions are. Maybe a walk down memory lane, just catching up on time past, trying to test the waters, feel me out, I really don’t know at this point. Chris asked what he would think of my new life and what he would think if he read my posts here.... Well, he's already told me how proud of me he is with my "new life" and how adventurous I now am. I wasn't "allowed" to skydive when we were married. That's what took me so long to get here. But if he reads my posts, he would most likely say, "Yep, that's my Lucky. Still a fucking smart ass". Skydiving isn’t something I would walk away from. For anyone. It took me years to have my “own” life, doing everythng and anything for ME and ME alone. I didn’t mind doing for him when we were married, of course, but I’ve come such a long way from where I was that I’m not the “little woman wifey” material any more. Maybe I’m feeling vulnerable because I’m not in a relationship right now, I don’t know. Maybe I’m feeling mushy because I always wanted to have a baby with him and it didn’t happen when we were married. I just don’t know. I miss his family, I miss our families together, my brother misses him as a “big brother” figure, still. I half expect to hear from him via text tonight. When we were texting he said “too much” to say and that we’ll talk later, it was bedtime for him and goodnight. I just said goodnight and that was it. I don’t want to beg him to talk to me because that’s not who I am anymore. I also refuse to be a “fall back” on chick. I always thought we were “soulmates”, if you believe in such a thing, and I also always thought that he’d be back one day. And I told him years ago that one day we’d be together again, because at the time that’s what I believed in my heart. Now I wonder if this is what’s happening. Thanks for letting me vent.

I'm reading all of this and taking it all in. Many different ways to look at the situation... ugh. And my Dad is doing well. They put his defib in late last night, which was very unexpected as they were supposed to do it early this morning ... I'm here with him now.... his color looks better already although he is in immense pain from the shingles. I wish there was something magical I could do to take all of his pain away! Just waiting for his cardiologist to come in for a look-see and to brief our family on what's next..... Keeping our fingers crossed!!! Always be kinder than you feel.

I get a "mistake" text message from my ex-HUSBAND on January 9th. We texted back and forth a few times, just the "hope you're well, how's life?" cordial stuff. A few days ago I send him a text that says "Congratulations on your promotion. I'm proud of you. Good luck." The police department released a pic of the promotion ceremony to the local paper. Last night he sends one back saying how much it means to him, he doesn't deserve my kind words", etc. We text for a little while, nothing earthshattering but I do tell him that I've finally forgiven him. That's a major deal coming from me. After me telling him how much I valued what we had in the past, he sends me a text saying that he misses how well I would treat him and that he thinks of me often. I was an idiot wife who thought my husband walked on water and treated him like a fucking king. Go figure. LOL. Anyway, about 30 minutes later I chat with a mutual friend and I hear the ex-H not happy in his current relationship, she's cheating (there's some karma for him) and that he has been miserable. We've been divorced since 2005 and he wouldn't even talk to me the few times I've called him since then. He divorced me, I didn't want it. I had a long talk with my brother while we were waiting for my Dad to come back from testing in the hospital last night (before the latest round of text messages). I told me brother how I think I'm still in love with the ex-husband after all this time. That's the first time I've said that out loud, not just "wondered" about it, since I became divorced. WTF is wrong with me? We were together from 1992 to when we divoced in 2005. I'm not romanticizing or rewriting our history, but I'm so fucking confused as to whether I should tell him to just stop with the contact all together or just see what happens. Has anyone ever gone through something similar with an ex-SPOUSE? I think my head is going to explode it hurts so bad. Always be kinder than you feel.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2301/2457845397_c863ae61cb_o.jpg I don't care what he's "packing" - me likey!! He probably has a mr. potato head in his pants. Believe it or not, I'm totally okay with that. Always be kinder than you feel.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2301/2457845397_c863ae61cb_o.jpg I don't care what he's "packing" - me likey!! Always be kinder than you feel.