Okay, I don't post much, maybe that needs to change. It's been a helluva day but I got a great e-mail of one liners that helped. Please, nobody take offense, just enjoy. What's the best form of birth control after 50? Nudity. *************** What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 45 lbs. *************** What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? 45 minutes. *************** How many women does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just sit there in the dark and bitch. *************** Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good looking? Because those men already have boyfriends. ************** What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you. *************** What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving. ************** What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever. ************** Why does the bride always wear white? Because it's good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator. ************** A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade. Who has the biggest boobs? The blonde, because she's 18. ************** What is the quickest way to clear out a men's restroom? Say, "Nice Dick." ************** Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex? Because they have cotton balls. ************* What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? "Are you sure it's mine?" ************** What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts? Beer Nuts are $1, and Deer Nuts are always under a buck. ************** Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex? Mace will do that to you. *************** Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia? Everyone has the same DNA. ************** Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Breasts don't have eyes. *************** What's the difference between a Northern fairytale and a Southern fairytale? Northern fairytale begins with "Once upon a time..." Southern fairytale begins with "You ain't gonna believe this shit...."
