livendive

HA HA!!! Bozimbo wins this round! Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

So this afternoon we have a 4-hour year-end potluck at work. The VP has decreed "Yeah verily, each group will demonstrate some sort of talent or by other means entertain the rest of the department". Late yesterday afternoon, my boss called me while out in the lab and said that nobody had stepped forward, that other groups had karate demonstrations and other "cool" things, and we were just going to have to sing Christmas carols...unless I was willing to bring in a parachute and give some sort of presentation on skydiving. I said something about bringing in a tandem rig and harnessing someone up...he said pick someone...I said, "It was YOUR idea!" When I got back to my office, I read all the emails back and forth and found that I'd "volunteered" and he was hoping I'd pack a parachute. So I guess I'm gonna take in my sport rig for actually opening up/repacking, and a tandem rig to make him uncomfortable. That's where I need suggestions. In a casual but professional environment, where's the line for how much I can embarass him? Actually hooking up and making him arch between my legs is probably on the wrong side of it, and I'm damn sure not going to stow his excess legstraps, so how should I go about making it funny? Frap hat & over-the-glasses goggles? Ugliest jumpsuit I can find? I'm sure dz.com can come up with some way to make this more fun than a simple "4 methods of instruction, 120 mph, etc, etc" speech. Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

Well if mum is going to extrend herself to $2000, I'd be hitting her up for a full kit My mom kicked in $1000 toward my first rig. Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

Take John's advice. He's the king of brazen approaches, at least when he's the wingman, and his wife of over 20 years is proof that his system works amazingly well.

Ok... I won't drink an entire batch of duckfarts ever again ----------------------------------------------------------- but damn....he mixes such big batches. my cousin Karen and I drank a whole quart....she was so sick she flew home to Chicago the next day. Is this the point where I'm supposed to quote your sig line? "Pain is fleeting. Glory lasts forever. Chicks dig scars." Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

I said that the last time Todak and I partied at Lodi. MY GOD MY HEAD HURT ! ! ! Hey, you can't blame me for your age! And I've watched Beth drink duckfarts after she started saying she'd never drink them again. Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

If it doesn't have a ball float, there'll be a donut shaped float that encircles the plastic tube...raising that up should do the same thing. Also LM...you're saying you broke something, but I'm not sure what. If it's the valve arm to the float, you're kinda hosed unless you get the oval shaped valve handle broken loose (try channel locks for more leverage). I'm assuming the toilet is also clogged which is why the water is running all over the room? Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

I was once at a pary in a hotel and had a drunk guy come at me with a knife. I decided to keep the knife when throwing him out. The dumbass went down to the payphone and called the cops because he wanted his knife back...and he told them how it had gone down! They had him cuffed and in the back seat of their car before they even came up to the room. Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

Are you talking about the report or the invasion of Iraq? Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

Are you as good as this guy? Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

Frank Sinatra - Come Fly with Me Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

An ex and I did that once. Caught a malnourished Persian with badly matted fur, an underbite that interfered with eating, and what appeared to be a broken leg. Took her to the local emergency clinic and it turned out the leg injury was just badly infected bite wounds. I went to pick her up the next day and found that they'd named her "ugly kitty" (we subsequently named her Lilli, as in Lilliputian). The bill was $250 and they informed me that she needed antibiotics, but it wouldn't matter in her case. When I questioned why, they said that she's "just a stray, and you're gonna take her to the pound, so why bother?" I asked them why on earth I would spend $250 for cleaning up and diagnosis, but not another $30 or $40 on the required meds. They actually were confused when I was trying to get them to sell me the antibiotics but eventually complied. We ended up keeping that cat for a couple of years, but we took her in to the vet for grooming once and she came home deaf. She then became a nervous wreck because our more playful cat would jump on her when she was eating or using the box, and she couldn't hear her or any of the other pets coming. We finally conceded that our menagerie wasn't a good home for a special needs cat and found her a new family with whom she could be the only pet. Pictures here and here Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

I figured you'd approve of it. Did you see the "Do people's avatars freak you out?" thread? Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

Googlyfucker! Say it 5 times...it'll grow on you! Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

I can't believe you guys were all still in there at 2 AM. You obviously weren't having enough fun. Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

"What the hell is your husband doing home already?!" Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

Here's one more vote for Toyota's reliability. I was also going to suggest you look at the SE...they're much more fun to drive than a standard Camry (which gives a comfortable ride, but is not especially zippy). Also, the long life of a Camry makes options more attractive than they are in shorter-lived cars. Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

Yeah, that guy with the horrible messed-up and missing teeth. Fine! Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

Or my beauty? Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

Usually, but variety is also important. If I had the choice between great sex and great skydives every single day, sex would win most of the time, but skydiving would win some too. Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

A great skydive is better than bad sex, and great sex is better than a bad skydive. Everything in between is situational, but yeah, average sex is better than an average skydive. Thankfully bad or even average sex aren't things I've had to concern myself with lately, and the few skydives I've been making have been pretty fun too.

How the fuck would you know? Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

Where'd you two meet, a nudist colony? Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

I think there was a thread about the etiquette of bringing wine a year or two ago. If I remember correctly, there was some substantial disagreement on the propriety of the host not opening it or something like that. That said, I usually take wine when going to that kind of party. Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

Not having watched a second of either one, I'd still have to vote for a tie between "Dancing with the Stars" and "Skating with the Stars" as winners...I can't imagine a worse concept for a program. My runner-up would probably be Oprah. Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)