livendive

Post deleted because my comment was apparently not as funny as I thought it was. Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

I've listened to most of them on audiobook. Lamb was fucking hysterical. I've got it on my iPod and have listened to it a couple of times now. I've been meaning to find the whale one, and don't think I've heard of Coyote Blue. He has a bunch of recurring characters, including several between You Suck and Dirty Job (and one other IIRC). Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

Is that how you get through all the posts you make here? Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

PM me your number and I'll call ya tomorrow. It'd be easier if I was getting up to give a speech on something I'm knowledgeable about, but I'm not! Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

So apparently my little skydiving thing at our company Christmas party last year went over a little too well. The VP responsible for our project asked someone to get me to emcee this year's. I said, something like "yeah, maybe, if I have some notice and suggestions" and that was the last I heard. All normal venues ended up being too small for how big our project has grown, so instead of a Christmas party, it became a "Year in review" or "Year looking forward" thing at the nearest convention center. It's this Thursday (day after tomorrow for the international folks), and I found out late today that I'm actually the emcee. I've been promised an agenda of some sort by tomorrow evening. Sooo...unknown venue (all I've seen is it's trade show layout), unknown agenda, an audience of several hundred, and 4ish hours of trying to make it as painless as possible. I don't even really know our org chart, much less the personal quirks of all the managers so I can poke fun at them in a manner their staff would laugh at. Any suggestions? Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

You're a big guy and can take care of yourself. You didn't need some stock boy helping. I guess the store was onto this guy or something. Oddly enough, I was just sending your hottie wife an email as you posted this. And yes, that's the impression I got of what the employee was doing...the grin was kind of apologetic. Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

Alright, I can't bitch too much. I'm sitting here drinking corked chardonnay just because it's open. Meh...it'll get dumped here soon and I'll switch to beer for awhile. Dramatic shortage of everyday wine in the cellar...1.5 bottles besides this crap! Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

She's pretty good-looking for someone that tall. Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

You should definitely meet the guy who was talking to me at the grocery store last night. White merlot might be even gayer than white zinfandel! Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

Tanqueray and grapefruit, duckfarts (note these two should NOT bookend each other), margaritas (rocks, not blended), seven-seven, rum & coke, whiskey coke....damn, I need to go home and drink! Blues, Dave So you're picking up some wine and a little something else on the way home? Even if I had the slightest inkling in that direction, I think (hope!) my girlfriend would have a little issue with it. Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

I think part of what made it wierd was him asking for a good wine without even the slightest hint as to a direction. I mean even just red/white, sweet/dry, with fish vs. with steak...something! Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

Tanqueray and grapefruit, duckfarts (note these two should NOT bookend each other), margaritas (rocks, not blended), seven-seven, rum & coke, whiskey coke....damn, I need to go home and drink! Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

But he's not a solid guy to back. I think we'll see a flight to Edwards before February. Edwards seems to me to be the only candidate who panders even more than Clinton. The guy strikes me as wholly dishonest, refuses to answer any question with anything other than talking points, and never seems to say anything other than what he thinks the audience wants to hear. While all politicians do that to some extent, there are less blatant violators on both sides of the aisle. Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

Forget the wrong breeds, you've got the wrong species... Paw prints point to dog in shooting death of Baytown teacher Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

No, and I certainly didn't want anything to do with popping his cork! Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

So last night this guy comes up to me in the wine section and asks, "Excuse me, could you tell me what's a good wine?" At first I thought it was innocent enough and said something about depends on what you like...red, white, sweet, dry, etc. At this point a rather large store employee came up & stood behind him grinning at me oddly. The guy flubbered something about sweet and red, which I couldn't think of anything, so I asked what he was having it with..."Oh, I don't know...probably soup. I just want to know what's a good wine." So I recommended some merlot as a good starter red and caymus conundrum as an all-purpose white, both in the $25ish range. He grabbed both & was thanking me and something about it suddenly seemed very, umm, wierd. I quickly grabbed a bottle and beat feet for the other end of the store, noticing the store employee following the guy in the other direction. Sooo...think it was an honest appeal for help? Or was man-chowder the soup he was hoping to pair it with, and the grocer-guy knew it from previous experiences with him? Personally, I can't imagine trying to pick someone up at the grocery store, but I'm sure it's been done. Which of you dz.commers have found yourself trying to chat someone up at the grocery store? Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

What he said. The Rose Bowl is PAC-10 champ vs Big 10 champ. Since the advent of the BCS, they've had to include the possibilities of losing one or both teams to the championship game. The selection committee has leeway when that occurs, but for the most part have been respectful of tradition. Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Nothing at all. Word. Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

I was spent most of my school years in a private Christian school and attended church 2-3 times every week till high school, but am now an atheist-leaning agnostic. Most of me doesn't care at all what religion each candidate is. The small part of me that does care thinks a bunch of exposure to the Muslim religion would be a good thing for a Presidential candidate given the issues we face today. Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

It all comes down to this part. He is either using that as an excuse or it is actually true. If those statements are from that newsletter, he made a pretty big mistake by not reviewing what went out under his name..... "Newsletter" seems a bit ambitious. It looks like it was people using his name to post their essays on usenet. If I were to start posting all sorts of drivel to alt.kooks.nosebondage and titled each thread "The Skydekker Report" would you know a) that it was happening and b) what I was saying? Would you care? Would you be able to stop me? Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

If you click the sourcing references, the damning report seems quite misleading. It appears that only some of the quotes are sourced at all, and those mostly come from the kooks posting to alt.conspiracy & similar usenet newsgroups. I'll need to see a much better treatment of the sourcing before I'll believe the alleged quotes are attributable to Ron Paul. Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

You chose to let them attend "those classes". If you want to dictate how each lesson is presented, you can pull your student out of the class and home-school them. Do you want to write every lecture your kid has to sit through or only those that relate to sex? Blues, Dave You really expect any kind of answer to this? Not really. Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

You chose to let them attend "those classes". If you want to dictate how each lesson is presented, you can pull your student out of the class and home-school them. Do you want to write every lecture your kid has to sit through or only those that relate to sex? Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

While seedings may add controversy, whichever team wins out would have a legitimate claim as champion. There would only be one capable of claiming they beat everyone they faced, and everyone else would be able to point to at least one team who was better than them. Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

I'm sure USC fans will be making the same idle boasts, but they lost their chance to bitch when they lost to Furd. The same USC that just kicked the shit out of the same Illinois that beat OSU? Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)